[Bulletproof BTS] RE:suming

The filming of the MV has come to an end, and our work is still continuing. Taehyung took the lead in filming the MV for his own solo song, and then returned to Guchang to mourn for his grandma.

Death is no stranger to me, but standing on the opposite side of death, I finally have a little understanding of Yin Xingzhu's feelings, the tension between the two emotions.

In the initial chaotic time, the sadness and anger I didn’t understand, the sadness and anger I disdained, in Taehyung’s face and tears, in the helpless low growl and trembling, I seemed to understand Yin Xing is the master.

"Moon West! Don't be in a daze!"

I came back from the mood, and the director opposite stood up and looked at me dissatisfied.

"terribly sorry!"

I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm suddenly in a mess of emotions, but I know that the most important thing now is to finish filming "addicted".

"What did you do?!"

After Hyun Soo apologized to the director, he came to me and questioned me in a low voice.

"What happened today?"

"I'm very sorry, I made some mistakes just now..."

There is nothing to argue with my question, although I do like to chat with my managers and brothers usually.

"I'll adjust."

"Do it well, time is running out, and the shooting process will not be changed because of you, you know?"

"Hey!"

Anyway, we are not newcomers who have just debuted, and it is not difficult to control emotions. After filming the solo song without any risk, our second Japanese album "youth" was released, but no follow-up activities in Japan were arranged.

"Philo..."

"It's rare that you can take the initiative to call me!"

I stood on the balcony, looking at the lights outside, and suddenly felt a little guilty, whether it was the years when I became Yin Xingzhu, or the years when I became Moon.

"Well... I just suddenly figured out something, thank you, my brother."

"Jerome, I'm so glad you said this to me."

"Philo... I don't seem to have said anything!"

I laughed twice, lowered my head, and lifted the railing of the balcony.

"I mean, I'm very happy. The behavior you took the initiative to call today already includes everything in this behavior."

Over at Philo I heard sirens whistling by.

"you are outside?"

"Um……"

Philo's voice was a little lazy, not the same as usual.

"Just came out of the bar, answer your phone, when can I have a drink with you?"

"Pravda?"

I raised my eyebrows, turned around and leaned against the railing.

"Didn't you hate Bieber taking me before?"

"But you always have to come to this world, and I want to be part of it."

"..."

I laughed.

"Well... When I come back, let you take me to see it?"

"What? Is there a plan?"

I really admire Philo's keenness, even when he is drunk, he can quickly grasp the meaning implied in the words.

"Well... before returning, the company gave me a few days off..."

"That……"

"I want to go back to England and see them."

There was a moment of silence on the phone, and then I heard Philo's slightly excited voice.

"I really don't know what to say, I'm so happy, Jerome, really...I..."

"Philo, I will always face it. When I come back from England, I will ask you for a drink?"

"Yeah! It's an appointment!"

"Ok!"

I reported my whereabouts to the company clearly, and then I also reported it in the group chat. I packed up and flew to the UK overnight. Some things have to be faced after all.

"Mom and Dad..."

Leaning down to put down the flowers in his hand, he looked at the strange man and woman on the tombstone, feeling some indescribable emotions.

"In fact, I dare not come to see you all these years. My uncles and aunts only think that I am protecting myself. In fact, I just don't know how to face you. Although I am still a little strange, I am your son..."

"Is it right?"

"I'm sorry to only come to see you now, but forgive me. Actually, I am also a victim, right? I was born again inexplicably, changed my identity and family, and I am also very confused, so I dare not face you."

A little tired.

It's already a bit cold in the UK in October. After a rain, the surrounding area is foggy, and the tip of the nose is full of muddy smell.In fact, except for the occasional few days of sunshine, this place is sticky and humid all year round. I used to be uncomfortable and hated this place, but now it strangely relaxes me, and I slowly sat down.

"I'm a little tired, can I sit down? If you don't speak, it will be regarded as your agreement!"

I smiled, and the men and women in the photo also looked at me with a smile.

"It's been lonely these years, and so am I. Later, I cheated in Korea and found someone who cared about me. Will you support me as an idol? Among my older brothers, there is a family member who doesn't support me. I didn't debut to save money. Money does not eat, so now I have not grown tall..."

"There are also elder brothers who are clearly the youngest at home, but they became the eldest brother overnight, and while groping for it, they take on the responsibility of the eldest brother. There is also our captain, who is sometimes silly, but is very reliable to the outside world..."

"There are older brothers who are obviously very quiet, but try to make up for what we can't do in front of the camera, and there are older brothers who like it very much but always look disgusted, and think they are cool! There are also older brothers Cute as hell, pure as hell, I have many more brothers. By the way, I also have a younger brother, although he will only call me brother when he is cheating..."

"We're not perfect, and we quarrel too... By the way, I even fought with my brother, isn't it great? I also think I'm very good, but my brother didn't blame me, I was a child who was spoiled , whether it's Philo or the brothers..."

"One of my brother's family members passed away. In fact, before that, I didn't think there was anything wrong with it. Birth, old age, sickness and death are natural laws. To be honest..."

I thought about it.

"I don't think death should be a sad thing, it's just the end of life. But recently, I have experienced the feelings that a star master should have. I'm sorry, it took me so long to bring him to see you..."

"Hmm... It seems that I shouldn't say that... I'm sorry I've come to see you for so long, I hope you can forgive my waywardness, after all, I couldn't accept these things before..."

I was taken aback, what I said just now was still a bit self-willed, I lowered my head, a little sad, I was also very contradictory, the contradiction between a 20-year-old body and a 30-year-old soul is beyond words.

"It's because I'm greedy, do you also think that I finally came to see you, but I told you some negative things, but I really don't know who to turn to, some things I can only rot in my heart, but my heart hurts !"

I let out a long sigh.

"Do you want to know the original me? I almost forgot the original me. That was my first failed life, so after becoming your child, I longed for the approval of others, although I also met many people in the middle. things, but I still let myself succeed... ah... can't say that."

There is no logic in rambling, and I said whatever I thought of, until it was getting dark, and I was surprised that I had talked to them all afternoon.

"I gotta go……"

After this, I will not worry about whether I am 20 years old or 30 years old, because these are me, and I will grow into an adult, an adult named Yin Xingzhu.

I stood up, rubbed my legs that were a little sore from sitting for a long time, and then kissed the man and woman in the photo. I heard the singing in the wind, which was the prayer from the church in the distance.

"Please bless me, Mom and Dad!"