My claws must be on it

"My parents divorced when I was very young. I followed my father and my mother... She is a person without much art. She can only use the most extreme means to make money—no, not to make money, but to keep herself alive."

Xu Xuan's voice was hoarse.Because I cried, it took half the night.Neither of them slept until the drug addiction passed—they got up from the ground sweating and lay down on that bed to rest.

Whether it is fighting drug addiction or people who are addicted to drugs, it is a matter of rapid physical exertion.

Xu Xuan's hair was covered with sweat, and his voice was tired, but the rare An Ran:

"Then I was sentenced to my father as a matter of course, and he got married within two years. Then I had Xu Jingjing. I know this is not good...but I did hate my sister since I was a child."

As Xu Xuan said, his voice was finally tinged with emotion: "You know... I am the daughter my father brought over after he got married. For Xu Jingjing, both parents are close, and they are close to each other. ... I can't, my chain is only broken by my father, and it is broken from others. So I was separated.

We get along like—I'm a guest.Do you understand? "

"Hmm..." Yu Huosheng thought for a while, "Is your father treating you badly?"

"It's not bad..." Xu Xuan smiled wryly: "It's very good, I can't make a mistake at all. But it's different. He has the kind of love for Xu Jingjing with flesh and blood, and he has set it up for me. It's that kind of "task" '."

"He played with Xu Jingjing, chatted and joked with her, bought her toys and taught her when he made a mistake...but he gave me the monthly pension, bought me snacks, bought me clothes, bought me As long as I want." Xu Xuan took a deep breath, looked at Yu Huosheng, and said to himself, suppressing what came up:

"You know it's just..." She paused: "It's just that they were eating and chatting at home and I came back suddenly. Even if they continued to talk... there would be a feeling of disconnection, the atmosphere would be different... I couldn't get in." She looked at Yu Huosheng, her upper and lower teeth were closed, only in this way can she bite on anything.

Yu Huosheng silently pinched her hand.She is a person who lost her belonging since childhood.

"I... that's why I was disobedient, or rebellious... I don't understand and don't care about adults' work..." She said, Yu Huosheng could hear a faint cry in the last sentence: "They are still used to it." Follow me."

"...When I was in high school, I first came into contact with...drugs from some gangsters in the upper grades. Then I slowly found out...It turned out that my mother also took drugs."

While listening, Yu Huosheng hugged her and felt her tremble slightly.

"I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Instead, I'm already like that.

Then there is the occasional drug use.They were carrying drugs and were willing to buy some for me, anyway, I could ask my dad for money anytime. "

"Then they got caught... I was off drugs for a long time. Then I got my first taste of addiction.

It's like you're being dominated and you're dying of pain all over your body, and I know at that time for drugs... I could do anything. "

"That's when I knew something wasn't right... This thing was horribly bad... I tried detox and it didn't work."

She was silent for a while, then continued:

"Then I was seen by a good classmate who was playing at the time. I was taking drugs, my eyes were bloodshot, and I was desperate when I found the medicine. If I didn't find it, I went crazy and destroyed it, like a madman."

Of course...that was not as easy as she said.

"A good classmate who has fun", her only friend for more than ten years, she has no sense of belonging and insecurity... Still captured by Xia Sheng's light, her only emotional sustenance... Then the truth came Dew.

Xia Sheng deserves to stay decisively, simply and neatly, he said that he was sincere to someone, and when he found out the truth, he immediately cut off his affection, even if he cut himself until blood flowed, he would leave without blinking his eyes!

In the end, for her...it was deceit and betrayal.It was Xu Xuan who was too dirty and inferior.

sin.

Yu Huosheng rubbed her head and said softly, "Before graduation, I will find a way to beat her up for you."

"Forget it...you are so small." Xu Xuan pulled away from the memories, and looked at her dumbfounded: "You and I can't even win, and no one will help you when you are beaten by her..."

"...You're talking about it." Yu Huosheng could only nod silently: "Then I'll ask my dad to mess with her family's work, or just find someone to break her leg..."

"Forget it... she didn't do anything wrong." Seeing that the round-eyed cat's words became more and more terrifying, Xu Xuan quickly interrupted her: "It's my business that I hate her, I can fight with her because I'm a gangster , but you are not. And it was all my fault for not telling her the real me. She just found out and chose to leave. "

"Aren't you sad?" Yu Huosheng raised his head.

"...Sad." Xu Xuan admitted, although the moment of saying this word felt uncomfortable and engulfed like a sea tide, but after she finished speaking, she felt okay, everything is in the past tense:

"Later, I made up my mind that I couldn't go on like that anyway, so I started to quit drugs again. When the drug addiction broke out, I went to the room and shut myself up. After a while, I gradually got better... Later I tried I want to communicate with my dad... Maybe it's wishful thinking, but it's all about my own efforts.

Later... it actually seemed to be pretty good.I have been cold all my life, when I saw Xia Sheng, I seemed to see the sun, after she left, there was still a little bit of light, God gave me a chance... It seemed that life was really getting better at that time..." Xu Xuan laughed self-deprecatingly laugh:

"My grades actually went up a bit. My dad seemed to respond to my change. The teacher called me to say that I had improved, and my birthday happened to be on vacation... They said let's spend it together."

Yu Huosheng heard those happy and uplifting memories, but he didn't look happy.Because she knows the result.The laughter that precedes tragedy is always what makes tragedy sadder.

Sure enough, she went on to say:

"Then I waited until my birthday - I actually expected it - anyway it was sunny, no wind, really warm. Then I went to the corner to buy a drink and went back early until they got off work.

I didn't mention my birthday either, I was a bit embarrassed anyway, it's been too long since I had contact with them in such a warm way instead of quarreling... Then they didn't mention it when they came back. "

Yu Huosheng fell silent.

Things are pretty clear here.They forgot.Or don't remember at all.

"... They wouldn't forget it... at least, they felt that giving me a birthday present was one of their 'responsibility'." The story has progressed to the second half, the warmth is gone, and there is only one dry sentence left:

"But then Xu Jingjing's dance class was postponed until the afternoon. It was the rush hour of traffic jams, and they were busy sending her to class, so they left in a hurry."

Yes, a word that ends simply.

In a word, all the anticipation and silent attempts, and the one that stretched out but didn't dare to stretch out, and finally mustered up the courage... are all broken.

But God knows what a difficult afternoon it was for Xu Xuan, the world collapsed, everything came to naught, she could finally be sure of what she had always felt... They didn't love her, at least they didn't love her like Xu Jingjing...it was true!

But she didn't want to be so bloody sure about this feeling!

"Don't cry..." Yu Huosheng whispered as if making fun of her, trying his best to break the faintly sad atmosphere.

"I didn't cry." Xu Xuan shrugged: "...I have already cried about this matter...it was still in your arms. If you have cried once, you can't cry, otherwise it will be too annoying."

Yu Huosheng nodded: "You are so good, you are so strong."

"..." Xu Xuan ignored her, and continued: "Then I became dizzy and ran to my mother's house for some reason."

Xu Xuan's mother is also... not a comfortable place to relax.But she has nowhere else to go.

"When she saw me going that day, she just thought what was wrong. She laughed at me enough, saying that I couldn't catch a man's heart just like her... Then she said that she had at least caught a man's body, unlike me Like."

Yu Huosheng didn't like to talk about this, he just kept silent.

"And then she pulled out the cigarette that rolled the drug."

Xu Xuan suddenly said these words quietly.

Yu Huosheng was stunned suddenly.It seemed that she also noticed that this was the thing behind the mantis who opened its mouth even more.

"...She knew I was recovering from drugs."

This sentence is very light, very calm.

But Yu Huosheng suddenly appeared in Yu Huosheng's eyes, the girl who was crying out of breath, sobbing like complaining, heart-piercing.

She is my mother!She should be the person who loves me the most in the world!She should be the one who protects me from harm! ...But she knows I'm rehab... She knows... Reach out, give her drugs.

Let my daughter... be here with her, let's fall...

"Then I kept my face blank...but the tears couldn't stop...she gave it to me, and after I realized it...I immediately took it off." Xu Xuan said.

Because no one cares anymore... her dad is only responsible for her... her mom stretches her down... so why is she breaking through the haze?The ties of the world are cut off bit by bit by fate.

sad to die...

……

Yu Huosheng suddenly squeezed Xu Xuan hard, making her tremble!

"Hey! What are you doing!" Xu Xuan was furious.

Yu Huosheng turned his eyes and said loudly, "I'm going to cry!"

"You...why are you crying?" Xu Xuan was dumbfounded.

"I'm uncomfortable."

"...Then be stronger."

"..." Yu Huosheng was blocked, speechless for a while.

"My birthday is the day before school starts." Xu Xuan's tone became lighter: "You know everything from now on."

That day, her heart was ashamed, she took drugs and wandered out from her mother's house, wandering around in the alley...

At night, in a small alley, with a gloomy wind blowing, she unexpectedly met a girl who was not afraid of death at night. When she saw a suspicious person, her first reaction was not to shiver and turn away, but to move her eyes close to her face, "You What's the matter, are you not feeling well? What happened to you? You're walking swaying, is that why you're staring at me?" asked all the way.

At that time, she was almost bored to death, and she had just experienced the ups and downs of her life... To meet such a brat who doesn't know how to look at the atmosphere, if she doesn't beat her, she will feel uncomfortable for the rest of her life!

At that time, she wanted to kill her, hated her curiosity to expose her scars, hated her breaking the casserole and asking the end...

But now, how lucky she is...to be able to meet the person who is persistently looking for her.

Yu Huosheng laughed.

Eyes bent, lips curled up high:

"This is destined."