Absolutely retarded option

Mitani Sho Chio knocked my hand off, "Isn't this a crime! Why don't you go by yourself!"

"My motor cells are not as good as yours."

She glanced at my chest, "That's right, how can I fly over the eaves and walls with a weight of ten catties? It would be nice if I can fall flat without leaning forward. It's so pitiful that I can't even fall flat on the ground."

"Anyway, I'm not going."

"Don't be like this, we are best friends!" I stretched out Erkang's hand to Mitani Shochio. "It was you who proposed to send another love letter."

"Wouldn't it be better to stuff it in a drawer."

"Then you can go to school normally, why do you have to climb over the railing under the bridge, why do you jump around on other people's roofs?"

Qian Xu's orange-red hair curled up in a mess, "Isn't that my skill in the game?"

"Be careful playing yourself to death, blood-stained butterfly!"

We had 10 minutes of non-nutritive trash talk "You really don't go." "No." "Go." "No."

Almost didn't bother me.

I grabbed Sangu Shangqianxu's neck, my eyes were red, "Are you going or not!"

"No-"

I let go, and she coughed desperately, "Well, if you go, I'll buy you all the games and peripherals you want, how about a limit of 20 yen?"

Mitani Sho Chio · Poor person · Never had more than a thousand yen on her body · Ms. □□Si was shamefully moved.

"But our information is not perfect. Isn't the Akashi family rich? The internal structure of the house..."

I pulled out a structure diagram from the table, "here."

Chio Mitani was dumbfounded, and said after a while, "But which floor and which room does Akashi live in..."

I picked up a red marker and drew a red circle on the grid representing the innermost room on the second floor, and said firmly, "Here."

"How do you know so clearly... Could it be..."

"Yes, I sneaked in."

"Why do you call me if you can go in by yourself! Wait, is your sports so good?"

Of course, the novice village road Le Yan without skill points can't do it, but I am different after being transformed by the absolute option.I still remember that day, I originally wanted to go to Sapporo to confess to Akashi, but there was a sudden change.

[How can a qualified idiot confess without knowing anything about the target?Choose ①Enter Akashi Seijuro's house, leave your smell on his bed, and take away the original taste of fat. ②You only know 29% of Akashi Seijuro, so low, do you want to confess?It’s so naive, Absolute Option sponsors you fifteen futuristic invisible pinhole cameras for free, and you will never be caught. Put them in Akashi’s bedroom and bathroom. ③ Draw a topographic map of the Akashi family, and take a souvenir from the sleeping Akashi Seijuro (not sure if Akashi will wake up halfway). ]

I refused to do such a perverted option, and I ended up being punished by farting all day long.

But why am I still drawing the topographic map of the Akashi family?

for love?

Or responsibility?

Or did I force myself to leave Akashi's bedside while drooling non-stop, my willpower moved the whole of Japan, and I couldn't help but reward myself?

In short, the map of the Akashi family has been kept in a drawer by me for two years, and I take it out to look at it when I have nothing to do.

I imitated Mitani Sho Chio and pushed down my glasses, although I didn't wear them, "Although I can go in, you said you have to be my backing."

"I meant to support you in spirit."

"30 yen is enough to keep up with your pocket money for five years." I wisely increased my bargaining chip.

"Damn it!" Mitani Shangqianxu was finally knocked down by money, and her blood-smeared butterfly finally fell on the evil flower of money.

She picked up the love letter and put it in her mouth, put on the invisible battle suit, and couldn't articulate her excited words, "Xiao Yan, why do you have such a thing in your house!"

Of course, it is an add-on to the absolute option, and it is still eating ashes in the corner.

"It looks like the suit of Spider-Man 3!"

I lied and said, "My father's life-and-death friend entrusted it to my father temporarily, and it is an important secret."

"Oh, oh!" Mitani Mori Chio, who can have a name like Blood Painted Butterfly, is also full of longing for the other world, and said with awe-inspiring righteousness, "I will never tarnish this battle uniform."

as long as you are happy.

After Qian Xu became familiar with the various functions of the battle suit, he was so fast that even the battle suit itself was shocked, and praised Qian Xu for having the potential to become a female black warrior.

"Should we go out now?" She couldn't wait to try the skills of the battle suit.

I stopped her, "Don't be impulsive, there is still time, science shows that people's deep sleep is after two o'clock—"

Qian Xu, "You can go to ambush first."

I said seriously: "We are conducting a decapitation operation, soldiers, not others, infiltrating-decapitation, this is the whole process of our operation, you are not a soldier now but an assassin."

My eyes almost fell out of the window when I saw Chio Mitani, she was originally a fan of American tough guy games, especially games like "Assassin's Creed", she couldn't resist at all.I decided to add another fire.

"When the minds of the world blindly follow the so-called truth, remember - nothing is true.

When the behavior of the world is bound by morality or law, remember - everything is allowed.

We work in the dark to serve the light, we are assassins.

All things are false, all things are permitted. —

we

weare

one life is just enough.

This is the case in my life, and I have no regrets in my life. "

When I finished reading this sentence, I knew that I had completely conquered this woman, Mitani Sho Chio.

The action was set for an hour later, during which time we decided to watch Spider-Man: Homecoming again.

I rewatched the few seconds of Peter Parker changing clothes in Junk Alley over and over again a dozen times.

Chio Mitani said contemptuously: "As tall as Akashi, and the same figure?"

I carefully compared Akashi's figure with Spider-Man's figure, both are thin, and have everything they should have, but both have the same upturned butt.

Mitani Sho Chio distanced herself from me undisguisedly, "You are really salty/wet."

Finally, it was time to set off. Qian Xu put on the battle suit, which automatically shrunk several sizes to match her figure, and she was so excited that she ran around like a monkey.

"Look, I can jump so high now." With a light jump, she jumped from the ground to the ceiling, her head stuck in the ceiling, "Help, help, help—"

I gave her a salary of 30 yen, and should I pay for the repair of the ceiling?It is impossible to say whether this transaction is a profit or a loss.

It took a lot of effort to pull Mitani Sho Chio's head out of the ceiling.

"It scared me to death, I thought my head was going to be broken."

"The battle suit is very strong, even if you cut your head with a chainsaw, it won't break."

Qian Xu squatted on the balcony, seeing the vibrant neon lights of Tokyo in front of her eyes, she pulled off her mask, "Am I really leaving?"

I turned on the computer and gave her an ok gesture, "I will keep an eye on your every move, we are a team."

For the fox boy, you need to use words like brotherhood, friendship, dream, and companion to brainwash, and for Qianxu, you need to use words like team and comrades in arms. I still remember the signature on her game account: Veterans don’t die, they just wither.

The operation went incredibly smoothly. The bodyguards hired by Seijuro Akashi's family looked so vulnerable in front of the future technology suit and Chio's extraordinary physical talent. I saw Seijuro Akashi's angelic appearance from the camera equipped on the suit. sleeping face.

Akashi Seijuro, the light of my life, the fire of my desire/thought.My sin, my soul.

I really want to lick the screen...

But knowing how many bacteria there are on the screen, I slammed on the brakes with reason. It is said that there are as many bacteria on the computer screen as on the toilet, but I dare to lick my computer screen. Does anyone dare to lick the toilet?

I hesitated for a while very seriously, but I still couldn't say anything. I always felt that if I really did something, my dignity as a human being would be completely lost.

On the screen, Qianxu is wearing a completely invisible battle suit, and I can still see her figure on my special computer.

Chio walked over to Akashi's bedside with the souvenir of my failed confession specially made in Osaka Castle in her mouth and my carefully written love letter in her hand.

I swallowed uncontrollably. In fact, I refused to send the love letter in person, and tried my best to coerce and lure Chio to go for me. The most fundamental reason was that I was afraid that I would run into Akashi Seijuro's room again, and no one could stop me. Ninety-nine out of [-] people will be unable to hold back and do irreparable dirty things to him.

My sanity wanders on the edge of crime all day long.

Chio Mitani put the letter and sword beside Akashi's pillow, and made a V sign to me for the camera.

Then jumped out of the window and quickly evacuated.

I breathed a sigh of relief and fell softly into the chair. After the letter was sent, it seemed as if the valve was opened, my body trembled, and everything became dull.

Years of hopeless feelings for Akashi left me exhausted and devastated.

Well, let's finish it off.

I stood up solemnly, opened the safe and took out a box.

Inside is a neatly folded white strip.

new.

Akashi has good hygiene habits.

That day, I couldn't find the original flavor.

I hit the delete button, and all fifteen cameras self-destructed.

I breathed a sigh of relief that it was all over.

From then on, I am no longer Akashi Seijuro's exclusive idiot.