The fate of the Republic of China is you

It was as if the sky had fallen.

Zheng Jiawen was drunk in the apartment. In 22 years, even though she was rejected by Wang Pingjuan at the beginning, she never used alcohol to relieve her worries.

When the next day's sun poured into the balcony of the apartment, the beams of light irritated Zheng Jiawen's eyes, and she opened them blankly, only to be in a trance. Last night, she was actually drunk all night on the balcony.

After sitting for a long time, Zheng Jiawen supported the wall and stood up. He just felt dizzy when he took a step. He stopped for a while, went to the phone and dialed a number.

"Hi, hello, please transfer the phone number of the male teacher's dormitory of Zhongcheng University, thank you."

When I was young, someone picked up the phone, and Zheng Jiawen said in a muffled voice, "Hello, let's find Liu Zihe."

"Hold on."

Zheng Jiawen sat on the sofa and waited for a while, when there was a sound of waking up from the phone.

"Zihe brother, it's me. Today, please help me take a leave of absence. I have a class in the afternoon. Please help me."

"What's wrong with you?" Liu Zihe's heart tightened.

"It's a little uncomfortable, but it's okay. I'll go to work tomorrow. The principal and the students can help me talk about it."

"Okay, then you have a good rest today."

After thanking Zheng Jiawen, he hung up the phone, leaned weakly on the back of the sofa, and took off the crystal pendant tied with a red string from his neck. Inside the pendant was a small photo of her and Lin Shurou. Abandoning true love will last forever, now it seems that it has become ironic.

"Bump, bump, bump..."

There was a knock on the door.

Zheng Jiawen struggled and opened the door, only to see a little girl with a flower basket standing outside.

"Hello, a lady named Lin asked me to give this to you." The little girl handed the letter to Zheng Jiawen.

Zheng Jiawen pursed his lips and took the letter: "Thank you~"

The little girl finished the task and jumped down the stairs.

Zheng Jiawen closed the door, took the letter back to the sofa and sat down, hesitated for a long time before opening the letter.

The beautiful small characters appeared in front of Zheng Jiawen's eyes.

"Jiawen, good morning. I know your state of mind at this time. It must be as painful as mine. Breaking up is like a knife. Please believe that the back of the knife is cut on your shoulder, but the blade is twisted in my heart. In your heart I once said categorically that I would not break up with you, but in the face of reality, I had to separate from you. Last night, after Niannian fell asleep, I sat on the bed and thought a lot.

The happiest days of you and me are all in Germany. I still remember that I always love to take you to accompany me to buy German sausages after the snow. I love the feeling of walking on the streets of Germany holding your arm. I fall in love with the feeling that you and I step on The joy of leaving footprints on the snow and looking back.Where no one knew who I was, that I could be myself, open up and love the ones I loved.

Winter in Germany is very cold, you love to hold my hand and put it in your pocket, even if the weather is very cold, you will always accompany me to watch a movie every weekend, I think, that is the beginning of love . "

Zheng Jiawen looked at each word, seeing the words "the first appearance of love", she couldn't help crying, she found a few tears here on the letter paper, presumably when Lin Shurou wrote down this memory Also couldn't help crying.

"In Germany, there is no pressure from society or family, and there is no need to worry about the elders. If you can really hope that you will never come back, but this is unrealistic. As a child, how can you not come back for the rest of your life regardless of filial piety? I didn’t promise you the reason for going to the United States with you. Going to the United States is just an escape. I can’t do it. I don’t think I can change it for a long time.

Because I can't change it, I chose to break up, and because I can't change it, I choose to turn a blind eye to the things in your bedroom.I no longer want to know who gave you that Rolex watch, and who gave you that tie-like accessory.I know you didn't have any money to buy it at that time. I thought, it must be a girl who gave it to you. This girl appeared when I went to Tianjin, right?I have wanted to question it countless times, but I will give up after all, so what if I ask?According to my previous temper, I won't tolerate it. Even if you have nothing, I will not agree to you using something from another girl. You know me.

I believe that you didn't feel sorry for me, otherwise you wouldn't be so happy about my closeness.It's just that this feeling will eventually stop here.Jiawen, I hope we can cheer each other up. I don't feel hatred because of your mother's persecution, and please don't feel hatred because of love. After all, we were the closest people to each other. More than anyone else, I wish you a happy and carefree future.

Being separated doesn't mean I don't love anymore, it's just that this love can no longer be intimate. I would like to treat you as a closer relative. If you have something to do, I will do my best to help you. I think the same is true for you.Jiawen, don't hate me, don't treat each other as strangers, that's too cruel.Even if I meet with an ordinary greeting, I will feel warm, there is no sadness of someone taking tea, no sadness of the world, I wish you well, you wish me well, I think, this is the voice from the bottom of the heart of those who have loved each other.

In the future, if I have no choice but to marry someone, please be relieved. If you meet a girl who has the courage to marry you, please try to let me know. I think I will, one late night, open a bottle of red wine and silently bless you.

I believe that after you and I are separated, we can still do our best to meet the future.

Nian Nian, I really like her, because you and I are both girls, and I cannot have a child that belongs to you and me. I sincerely treat Nian Nian as if I have already left. You should be able to feel that breaking up is painful. I need Niannian to be by my side, please promise.

When you read this letter, I am already on a cruise ship. I am traveling around Europe with Niannian, relax and think about things. I hope you can pick me up when I come back, as a family member. I.If you can't, don't force it.

Farewell, Jiawen.

Cherish it, cherish it.

Lin Shurou. "

Zheng Jiawen finished reading, holding the letter paper with trembling hands, tears could not be stopped, two people who loved each other separated because of external reasons, not because they didn't love each other anymore, this is the saddest thing, I have nothing to do with society I am harmed, but the society cuts off what I love, how can it not be sad.

Zheng Jiawen cried for a long time, ran to the bathroom to wash his face, hurried out the door, and ran all the way to the pier, but there was no sign of the cruise ship.

Lin Shurou made up her mind, Zheng Jiawen didn't expect it to end like this, her heart was empty, she walked aimlessly along the street.

While walking, Zheng Jiawen realized that he came to the entrance of an alley, and a group of children were happily running around.

"Hey, you have to learn it well. This is the character Xiang. You should memorize it carefully. I will teach you tomorrow when my husband teaches me other characters." There was a little boy squatting on the ground next to him, and he spoke to the little boy next to him like a little adult. said the girl.

"Well, I will remember it well." The girl next to me smiled.

That smile is really pure, the innocence and joy will always infect people, Zheng Jiawen couldn't help approaching, looked down at the words written on the ground with tree branches, couldn't help smiling at this, stepped forward and said: "This fragrant character is missing one Skip."

The two children raised their heads at the same time.

"No less." The little boy raised his hand and scratched his head.

The little girl glanced at Zheng Jiawen, saw that he was an adult, and looked at the well-mannered look, then she looked at the little boy and said, "Yuanchang, are you sure you remember correctly?"

"That's how I remember it, why don't I read the book when I go back?" the little boy discussed.

"Hello, I want to ask which one is missing in this word?" The little girl stood up and looked at Zheng Jiawen.

Zheng Jiawen found a branch and squatted down, slowly said: "I don't know if you have learned the word for He Miao."

"I have learned it." The little girl wrote the word "He" on the ground as she spoke.

"Yes, this word reads He, the grain of the seedlings." Zheng Jiawen wrote a day under the word "He", "The sun is the sun, and the seedlings will grow rice under the sun's rays, and boil them into rice and porridge. You say Is it fragrant?"

"Smells good." The little girl nodded quickly. She hadn't smelled the aroma of rice porridge for several meals. My Mujiari character is missing a apostrophe."

The little girl glared at the little boy.

"Hey, Yueyue, I will definitely remember it well next time, and I will teach you." The little boy named Yuanchang raised his hand to promise.

The little girl named Yueyue stood up and smiled at Zheng Jiawen: "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Zheng Jiawen put down the branch and turned to leave. From the conversation between the two children, she could tell that the little girl was very good at learning, but she didn't go to school.There are many children who can't go to school but have a thirst for knowledge. Although she is heartbroken by this situation, she is unable to meet one and help another.

"Aniang." The little girl named Yueyue saw the person in front of her and ran over quickly.

"Aniang, let me help you." Xiao Yueyue took some clothes from a basin of washed clothes and held them in her hands.

"Sister Zhiming, have my wife's clothes been washed?"

"It's done, it's done."

Zheng Jiawen walked four or five steps, because Mrs. Zhiming stopped, turned around slowly, and after the person who picked up the clothes left, she walked forward slowly.

"Hello, let me hear, that person called you Mrs. Zhiming just now?"

Yueyue's mother turned around slowly after hearing the words.

"May I ask, is your husband Wang Zhiming?" Zheng Jiawen asked what was on his mind.

"You are?" Mrs. Zhiming looked at Zheng Jiawen suspiciously.

"Are you really Wang Zhiming's wife?" Zheng Jiawen was a little excited.

"Yes, I don't know, are you?"

"I am Tao Yinzhi, Zhiming's classmate. When Chen Guang was in middle school in Wuxi, I was taught by the same teacher as him." Zheng Jiawen thought that Wang Zhiming was still in Wuxi, so he didn't expect to meet him in Shanghai, "Sister-in-law, Brother Zhiming Where are you now? After he sent me abroad six years ago, I haven't seen him again, and I never thought we would meet again today."

Yueyue's mother Zhiming's sister-in-law smiled sadly when she heard the words, "I'm afraid we will never see each other again."

Zheng Jiawen felt bad when he heard the words, he took a step forward and said, "What does sister-in-law mean?"

"Zhiming joined the Revolutionary Party four years ago, and he has already died." Zhiming's sister-in-law turned her head away and said.

"What did you say?" Zheng Jiawen staggered two steps back with a bang in his head, "Participating in the revolution, people sacrificed?"

"Yes." Mrs. Zhiming's voice trembled.

"When did it happen?" Zheng Jiawen's eyes were red, and he was walking to death. Is this life.

"Two years ago." Aunt Zhiming wiped away her tears and said.

"Two years ago, I've been back for such a long time, why didn't my son and brother mention it?" Zheng Jiawen muttered to himself, and then quickly took Zhiming's sister-in-law's hand and said, "Sister-in-law, where is brother Zhiming's grave?" Zheng Jiawen looked at Mrs. Zhiming with teary eyes.

Mrs. Zhiming pulled her hand out when she heard the words. She is a widow now, and it is not easy to enter the family, but the person in front of her is a woman, so it is no problem. They were all buried together. There is a tablet at home, if you want to worship, please come with me."

Zheng Jiawen hurriedly followed Mrs. Zhiming into the alley after hearing the words. They lived on the first floor, and the furniture inside was very simple.

Zheng Jiawen walked inside and saw Wang Zhiming's portrait. The intense grief stimulated her nerves, and it took her a while to walk to the memorial tablet step by step.

"Zhiming, I haven't seen you for six years. Do you still remember my old classmate Zheng Jiawen?" Zheng Jiawen looked at Wang Zhiming's portrait. The past has been so turbulent, and the boy's voice and appearance have not changed, but it is hard to sew anymore.

"I'm back, but you're not here. You, me, Zihe brother, and Tian Tian went to climb Xishan together after we agreed to return to China." Zheng Jiawen stood in front of the portrait and burst into tears.

Zhiming's sister-in-law took three incense sticks and lit them and handed them to Zheng Jiawen. Zheng Jiawen took three bows in tears and put them in the incense burner.

"Miss Tao, the house is very chaotic, please sit down first." Zhiming's sister-in-law moved a stool to Zheng Jiawen.

Zheng Jiawen sat down after thanking him, wiped away his tears, and looked around.

"Sister-in-law, Brother Zhiming dedicated his life to the revolution, so he should have a pension, right?"

Zhiming's wife shook her head when she heard the words, and said, "Back then, I sent you blood-stained clothes and a letter of relief. I brought Yueyue to Shanghai but couldn't find the Revolutionary Party. At that time, my father was ill again. , I stayed in Shanghai, and after my father left, I had no money to go back to Wuxi, so I stayed here."

Zheng Jiawen remained silent, glancing at the old diary beside him.

Seeing Zheng Jiawen's gaze, Zhiming's sister-in-law said, "That's Zhiming's diary. It should have been cremated, but I'm reluctant to keep it as a memory."

"Excuse me, can I have a look at brother Zhiming's life? Oh, if it's inconvenient, don't force it." After Zheng Jiawen finished speaking, he also felt that it was inappropriate. After all, the diary has privacy, and she was too abrupt.

"Yes." Zhiming's sister-in-law agreed without thinking, which surprised Zheng Jiawen.

Wang Yue heard her mother agree, so she ran over and took the diary and handed it to Zheng Jiawen.

"Thank you, sister-in-law."

Zheng Jiawen forced a smile at Wang Yue, and sat aside to read carefully. The more he looked at it, the more difficult it was for him to calm down. Wang Zhiming's diary seldom records personal life, but mostly seeks knowledge and explores the path of self-improvement. Reading from the book has an inspiring momentum.

"Drink some water." Zhiming's sister-in-law brought a bowl of water and put it on the broken table in front of Zheng Jiawen's body, her face was a little uncomfortable, because the family was poor and didn't have any tea and cakes to entertain.

"Thank you, sister-in-law." Zheng Jiawen closed the diary with mixed feelings in his heart. He looked back at the portrait of his good friend and felt ashamed. Don't make her ashamed.She has been back to China for so long, but she didn't know that her old classmate sacrificed for the revolution. Facing this orphan and widow, she is really ashamed of the heroic soul of her old classmate.

"Sit down, I have some clothes to dry." Zhiming's sister-in-law said and walked out of the house.

Zheng Jiawen put down the water, stood up, and opened the rice jar casually. There were only three or five grains in it.Looking around, there were only two green onions to eat, not even a sweet potato.

"Old classmate, I'm late, I'm late, I'm really sorry." Zheng Jiawen looked up at the portrait, and remembered the time when several like-minded classmates in middle school were seeking knowledge and climbing mountains to pursue the truth. What did old schoolmates do.