The fate of the Republic of China is you

Lin Shurou carried the diary back home. When reading the first part, her fingers tightly pinched the paper of the diary, gnashing her teeth with hatred. She never thought that Zheng Jiawen knew how to be romantic when she was a child, but she fell silent while reading. She seemed to see herself between the lines, and when she read on, she cried at the end.

Wang Pingjuan got married in the second year after Zheng Jiawen went abroad, and she gave birth to Niannian shortly after her marriage. From the diary, she can't forget Zheng Jiawen, but she is quite satisfied with her life after marriage.

But after Nian Nian turned one year old, that man's ugly face was revealed, to be exact, after Wang Pingjuan's acting savings accumulated over the years were exhausted.

Lin Shurou stared at the last page and wiped away tears frequently.

"Today, sitting alone at the desk, I haven't been quiet like this for a long time, everything will end, everything will end. I think I should write something before I leave this muddy world, to the end of my life, I don't think about anything else, the only thing I think about is her, the one I can't love.

Looking back on the past, my life was really miserable.My father passed away when I was eight years old, and my mother took care of my younger brother and me alone. In order to make a living, I went to Yiming Opera Troupe to learn opera to supplement the family income. The days of learning opera were hard, and I suffered countless beatings.I don't like learning opera in my heart, but I force myself to learn it in order to survive and avoid being beaten, but I know that no matter how popular I am, I am just an actor and I am not respected by others. I think about getting rid of opera every day. If I say that the only thing I am grateful for is that I got to know Zheng Jiawen because of opera.

Zheng Jiawen, Zheng Jiawen......

How I miss her, she can't hear.

She is kind and gentle. When she wants to go to her house to sing operas, she will always give us a lot of delicious food. She doesn't think it's very polite for us to treat us humblely. In the gazebo of her house, she He also taught me calligraphy from time to time.When I think about it now, it seems to be in front of my eyes. I was really happy at that time.

Mr. Xu said that she made great progress in her studies abroad, and I was really happy for her after hearing that.Her gentlemen often say that she is a genius, yes, she is smart, I have seen her with a photographic memory.I don't know when and where my heart was lost on her. I have always loved her carefully in my heart. I thought we would go on like this until that summer, when she took me to school to play and she confessed to me up.

I was happy at that moment, the person I loved also loved me, how could I be unhappy in my heart, but I am a cowardly person, I dare not accept this love, I am an actress, her mother also I really don't like her playing with me. If her family finds out, it will definitely turn upside down.I'm just a singer, and she has a great future, I don't deserve it, I don't deserve it, and the world is scary, I don't want to be judged, and my mother often urges me to marry, how can I say Exit I fell in love with a girl, how my sisters think of me, I will have no way out if they say a word.

I said harsh words, I saw shock and pain in her eyes, why didn’t I feel pain, why isn’t she a boy, God doesn’t favor me at all, people who love me can’t marry me Love me openly, why is my life like this?

Why!Why!God makes two people love each other, but does not allow two people to be together in a fair way, how cruel, how cruel, I want to be with her forever, forever......

If she was a man and she could marry me, I wouldn't meet that hypocrite. He married me for money. When my money was exhausted, he forced me to go out to sing again. For Nian Nian, I can, I You can go on stage again, but it's hard for people to be popular anymore.I don’t know where he found out about Zheng Jiawen. He forced me to write a letter begging her to come back. He and his brothers wanted to kidnap the person I love. How could I agree? , I want to sell Niannian to be a child bride-in-law, not as good as a livestock, he deserves to die, he deserves to die, I don't regret drugging them, now that I have killed someone, I will die calmly.

Nian Nian, she is more unfortunate than me. I am a mother who has failed too much. Now I am relieved that she is with Mr. Xu. I hope that Nian Nian can meet her. If Nian Nian can follow her, I think I will smile Jiuquan's.How I want to see her again, but I don't have time, I can't wait for her to come back, the body of the wicked man will be found in a short time, I must die before that, yes, die... ...

Looking back on the past, I don't regret rejecting her. Even if I live again, I will not choose to stay with a woman. I am afraid of living the life of being pointed at by others. Love is love, but it's just not face Allowed, I hated myself for being like this, but I still can't.The only thing I regret is marrying that wicked man. Now it’s all right. He’s dead, and I’m about to die too. I hope that in the next life, the ones I love and those who love me can be together in a fair and bright manner.On the tenth day of June, [-], the sky was overcast, and Wang Pingjuan's last pen. "

Lin Shurou read it once and never had the courage to read it a second time. The toilet paper in hand almost filled the wastebasket, and her mood couldn't be worse.

After reading it, Lin Shurou felt that someone slapped her hard. She mustered up the courage to be with Zheng Jiawen in her heart, but in reality she didn't make any preparations for it. Now she can still delay and wait for her When she was older, when her relatives met and asked when they would get married, how awkward would she be? She had to admit that deep down in her heart she didn't want anyone to know about her relationship with Zheng Jiawen, including her Parents, hesitated to speak several times but couldn't open their mouths. Every time they mustered up the courage to speak, they all turned into a sigh.

Lin Shurou's heart hurts, she doesn't want to give up this relationship, and she doesn't want outsiders to know, she has been urging Zheng Jiawen to resign, but she can't boldly stand in front of her parents with Zheng Jiawen and ask for marriage.Wang Pingjuan's diary forced her to face her self-esteem and heart. How long can it be delayed?

"Xiaorou, what's the matter with you? Why are you crying?" Lin's mother was frightened when she came in, and hurried forward to ask.

"Mother, it's okay." Lin Shurou wiped away her tears.

"It's okay to cry, come on, go down to eat with mother, Nian Nian is obediently sitting on the dining table and waiting." After Lin's mother said, she went to pull Lin Shurou, Lin Shurou sobbed twice and followed her mother downstairs.

Father Lin was taken aback when he saw his daughter. He hadn't seen her daughter's red eyes for several years. He glanced at his wife and saw her shaking his head, and silently agreed.

"Aniang, what's the matter?" Zheng Nian asked quietly instead of eating the meat that Lin Shurou handed to her.

"It's okay, be good, let's eat first." Lin Shurou persuaded herself not to be too pessimistic, maybe she tried to muster up the courage, and her parents would understand her.

"I haven't arrived yet, you guys are already eating." Lin Shuzhen went downstairs and sat down on the seat next to Zheng Nian, "I wonder if I was born to you two."

"I called you three times. You can't come out because you are hiding in the house. I can still use a knife to force you out." Mother Lin gave her little daughter a blank look, and poured soup for her.

Lin Shuzhen curled her lips, looked at the little one beside her and said, "I said Nian Nian, didn't I teach you how to use chopsticks yesterday, why are you still using a spoon?"

"Sorry, little aunt, I didn't learn it." Zheng Nian held his own small bowl and took a big spoon to pick the vegetables into his mouth.

"I didn't learn it, I need to continue learning today." Lin Shuzhen took a pair of chopsticks and put them in front of Zheng Nian.

"Shuzhen, don't tease her, she is hungry, when will you let her eat with chopsticks?" Lin Shurou said, peeled the fishbone and handed it to Niannian, "Besides, wait for her to grow up with chopsticks It will come naturally, you don’t have to study hard at such a young age.”

"Mother, look at my sister. When I was young, she taught me how to use chopsticks every meal. Now it's her turn to be a daughter. She is not happy anymore. Different education, hateful human nature." Lin Shuzhen shook her head. He took a piece of meat and ate it by himself.

"Okay, let's eat your meal." Mother Lin had no choice but to take her second daughter.

"Didn't I just see my sister's red eye circles making a fuss? Mother, you really don't understand me." Lin Shuzhen sighed, looking worried.

Seeing Lin Shuzhen's expression, Zheng Nian took a big bite of flesh with a smile on his face, and let the little aunt mess with her hair.

"What are you laughing at? Come to my room after dinner and I'll change your hairstyle." Lin Shuzhen looked down at Zheng Nian.

"I don't want it, A Niang, I don't want it." Zheng Nian asked Lin Shurou for help.

"Okay, don't, Mommy doesn't dare." Lin Shurou comforted Zheng Nian.

At this time, the butler of the Lin family came in with a letter: "Master, madam, a letter from Tianjin."

Father Lin put down the chopsticks when he heard the words, took them, opened them and almost leaned back.

"Master, what's the matter?" Mother Lin asked while supporting her wife.

"Father, dad passed away." Father Lin closed his eyes and mourned.

Lin Shurou was also stunned when she heard this.

"Father, he has been living with his eldest brother in Tianjin, and I have not shown any filial piety." Lin's father was heartbroken. He used to always feel that there was still time, but no one knew that on a most ordinary day, God no longer gave you time. Go to be filial.

"Pack up your things and go to Tianjin for the funeral tomorrow morning." Father Lin stood up with red eyes, and walked out dejectedly.

Lin Shurou also lost her appetite. She always thought that death was far away from her, but she didn't expect it to happen to her grandfather this time.

"Grandfather was in good health during the Chinese New Year last year, why did he suddenly..." Lin Shuzhen was silent, death always makes people feel very empty.

Lin Shurou fed Zheng Nian and went back to the house. On the bed, Lin Shurou hugged Zheng Nian tightly in her arms. It seemed that everything she worried about was nothing compared to death. She shouldn't give up. Wouldn't it be regrettable in this life if we were together?

Lin Shurou secretly encouraged herself, don't think about relatives and friends, follow your heart, follow your heart.

"Nian Nian, go to sleep. I have to send you to Zheng Jiawen early tomorrow morning. I can't take you to the funeral. You are too young to face the most painful parting in the world."

"When will Aunt come back?" Zheng Nian snuggled into Lin Shurou's arms.

"Soon, very soon." Lin Shurou murmured. After reading Wang Pingjuan's diary today, she felt more pity for Zheng Nian in her heart. Even without Zheng Jiawen, she already had affection for Zheng Nian in her arms.

A cat and a dog at home can have feelings, let alone a living person.