quail

Li Bai has never seen a doctor in such a large hospital that is often on the news.The most important experience of his previous medical treatment was taking a taxi to Chaoyang District to find the psychiatrist introduced by Yang Jian. He had found it several times, but the department of psychiatry was not a popular department after all, and was assigned to a remote corner of a remote building in the campus. It seemed to be no different from the small hospitals he randomly walked into for appetizers along the road.

Now he has really seen what kind of battlefield the famous Peking Union Medical College Hospital is.It is not an exaggeration to say that it is a battlefield. This air-stuffed registration hall is the front line of the charge.Not to mention the crowds in front of the window, not to mention the fact that all the benches with waiting seats were full, and some people even squatted in the corner with their bedding rolled up. It seemed that they were ready for a long-term war.

However, none of these seemed to have anything to do with Li Bai. Doctors opened the way for him, and even those scalpers who resold the expert account stayed away.

Do you know a doctor who works like this?

"I made an appointment for you the day before yesterday. I was supposed to rest today." Fang Zhaozhi explained this while queuing at the urgent window, standing in front of the two without turning his head.When the queue was up, he said again: "Give me your social security card."

While nodding to the nurse behind the glass wall, he turned half sideways and spread his right hand in front of Li Bai.

"I don't have a social security card," Li Bai noticed his watch, as if Zhu Yantang had a similar one, "Is an ID card okay?"

Only then did Fang Zhaozhi turn his face around, looking a little surprised, then looked at Yang Jian again, and said, "Yes."

Li Bai handed out the certificate he had prepared a long time ago. The photo on it was taken when he was 19 years old. Fang Zhaozhi glanced at it openly before handing it through the window.

There is only one road between the new outpatient building and the registration hall, and it takes a few steps to get there, but Fang Zhaozhi leads the way and walks quickly.In the elevator, he didn't say a word, and Yang Jian didn't say a word. They seemed to be strangers to each other. They each had their own dull thoughts, and they were each fixed in a can of fish. patients.

It was as if a diagnosis could be made just by looking at a real person, Li Bai thought a little funny, maybe the two of you just greeted each other in private, and you both knew that I was really going to die.

That's nothing to hide, anyway, I have already accepted it.

The crowd squeezed through the corridor of the department, entered the innermost consulting room, and closed the door with a click, but the tense energy on Fang Zhaozhi's body suddenly relaxed.He tugged on his tie, sat down at the only consultation table in the room, and typed a few times on the keyboard, "Be low-key outside, we can't look too familiar," he said with a smile, "Everyone is waiting. , you don’t have to wait in line, even though I couldn’t get my number today, I’m working overtime.”

Li Bai didn't know what to say for a moment, but he heard Yang Jian say, "Thank you."

"Did you take the wrong medicine? You are my brother, why are you being polite to me?" Fang Zhaozhi jumped away from the computer screen and blinked at Yang Jian. Press that red button."

Yang Jian walked to the water dispenser in the corner of the consulting room.

Li Bai stopped looking after him, but heard two knocks on the table, "I've heard about your general situation," Fang Zhaozhi said, "There is no history of serious illness and surgery, but you have alcohol dependence and mental illness. Medication history. Are you still taking the medicine now?"

Li Bai stared at the ground and nodded, "Yes."

"Let's take a look after the diagnosis. Maybe we have to stop taking it. Remember to sort out the medicines you usually take. It's best to make a list for me." The water dispenser was quite loud and booming. Fang Zhaozhi glanced at Li Bai, and his eyes fell back on Li Bai. He seemed to like to stare at others so closely, "The disease was discovered by accident during a blood test. It has been more than two months. I have seen two Hospital, right?"

But Li Bai could only hear the voice behind him, Yang Jian seemed to be approaching, but he didn't seem to, "Did he tell you?"

"Your brother? Yes."

"You said alcohol dependence just now," Li Bai said, "I don't have that."

"Be objective, okay? This will help us judge the condition," Fang Zhaozhi picked up a pen, and his brows frowned at some point, "Isn't it because of alcoholism that I went to the hospital for a blood test?"

"That's an allergy!" Li Bai turned his head abruptly, and Yang Jian was right behind him, "I'm not dependent. I haven't had a single drop of wine in the mountains these few days, and I didn't even think about it!"

And Yang Jian pressed his shoulder, but looked to the other side of the consultation table: "Sorry, I didn't say it accurately."

"Okay, there may not be dependence, but alcoholism is a given." Fang Zhaozhi raised his hand, "Show me the diagnosis report, the one from the Canadian hospital."

Li Bai silently took out the report booklet, and held the rest in his hand, "There are also Chinese ones."

Fang Zhaozhi turned two pages without raising his head, "Which hospital?"

The name was so long, Li Bai wanted to read the memo on his phone, but found that he still remembered it, so he recited it. "I can't do a comprehensive inspection abroad," he added, "The one in China is more detailed."

Fang Zhaozhi finally accepted it, but put it aside casually. After a few minutes of collective silence, he read the English report to the last page, "There is not a single result in it that can diagnose you with cancer," he flattened the paper, according to The folded corner marks pointed out to the two people the few places he marked with a pen, "It just detected some abnormalities in your blood AFP and other indicators. It is judged to be a problem with liver and kidney function. I suggest you check it in depth."

I saw Yang Jian with his hands in his pockets, looking out the window, as if absent-minded, Li Bai lowered his head again, and silently pushed the thick stack of Chinese reports in front of Fang Zhaozhi.

"To be honest, I have never heard of this hospital. You may have found the Putian department," Fang Zhaozhi said softly, staring at Li Bai with a hint of sympathy, "Go and check first, I will also look at this ,rest assured."

The printer just spit out a piece of paper, and it was already cold, so he handed it to Yang Jian.

Li Bai didn't think that he would make a mistake if he went to the department to check one by one according to the list, but Fang Zhaozhi seemed to think so. As for what Yang Jian, who was entrusted by him with honor, thought, Li Bai didn't know.The man didn't seem to be impatient, but he wasn't very devoted either. He had been like this since he returned to Beijing, making it impossible to understand what he was thinking.But there is nothing to invest in it!It was nothing more than taking blood for CT and checking liver and kidney functions. Li Bai went in, and Yang Jian was waiting outside. Li Bai was pale and ran to the toilet to retch for no reason. Handed him a candy and said to eat after checking.

The old-fashioned prawn crisps, the sticky ones, Li Bai has always liked, and I don't know where he made them.

Basically, each project has to be queued for a while, and there are emergency patients who stop, and this afternoon is spent between floors.Once Li Bai looked at Yang Jian's side face and was in a trance, suddenly said softly: "Mr. Yang, I remember you used to like to go to the hospital when you were free."

Yang Jian frowned and said, "Is there?"

"Yes, you said it yourself."

Yang Jian looked at him: "Then did I say why I like it?"

"You said that seeing those life and death farewells, you feel that your mess is nothing." Li Bai's words suddenly stopped, and he said in a low voice, "...I'm sorry."

yeah, sorry.Farewell to life and death...do you still want to see someone else's?They have experienced enough of themselves.Enough is enough.Maybe it will happen again soon.

When he said this, Yang Jian was still very young, he liked to bask in the sun, always let go of the handle to ride a bicycle, pulled down a leaf of a weeping willow, and often laughed, and when he smiled, there were two dimples.

I am sorry.

In fact, Li Bai has always wanted to know how Yang Yuqiu lived in the days just after his death, especially the first day, the first hour, the first minute... approaching that point infinitely, he has been thinking all these years, did Yang Jian Crying, how long can't fall asleep.Stuffed alone in that room, welding his own eyes, facing the false god of black and white, what was Yang Jian thinking at that time.Li Bai couldn't concentrate when he was traveling through the ten lines at a glance. He thought that he had also traveled through and could return to those nights. He knew that he would collapse, but he just wanted to watch. He knew that Yang Jian at that time must not want to see himself. He doesn't necessarily like it much now, but he just regrets his absence.

What if he died too?

Will Yang Jian cry or suffer from insomnia?

Just like seeing him, you can see Yang Yuqiu's inhuman appearance, who will Yang Jian think of his death when he sees him in the future?

Fang Zhaozhi?

But won't he die now?

I'm so sorry.

But Yang Jian pulled him to stand up, "It's your turn." He gently shook his arm while avoiding the needle holes hidden between the thin scars.

Before they left the hospital that day, the two went back to the oncology department. There were people in Fang Zhaozhi's room, and they probably saw a few patients with a plus sign. He finished reading the paper, and it was all nonsense. The results of the inspection here will come out in two days. Recently, he should pay attention and stop drinking.

He also asked Yang Jian to have dinner and asked Yang Jian to treat him, as if Li Bai's illness was nothing to worry about.Yang Jian agreed to come down and asked him when, he just smiled and said that he has been busy lately, so let's wait for your brother to be alive and kicking.

On the way home, Li Bai put the prawn crisps in his mouth, and he didn't dare to chew carelessly after wearing the braces. He kept his mouth shut and listened to Yang Jian talk about the origin of this Doctor Fang.

The family of famous doctors has been a doctor in Xiehe since his grandfather's generation, and his parents also met in the hospital. Now they have become great experts and leaders.As for Fang Zhaozhi himself, Peking University School of Medicine has been a doctor for eight years, won the National Award and issued SCI, and was assigned to the Department of Medical Oncology after graduation.He was one year younger than Yang Jian, and he was called Senior Brother Yang Jian because he was in the wrong line when he registered for freshman year, and Yang Jian took him to the academy as his junior student, and he made such an oolong, and he understands It turns out that the other party is from the fourth high school entrance examination, and they have known each other since then.They both like to eat maocai from the cafeteria, they both like to watch Guoan, and they are both on the same debate team. He is the first debater, and Yang Jian likes to finish the fourth debate, and the relationship has always been good.

After graduation, he basically had no contact with him. Yang Jian only knew that this person also went to work in Xiehe. The department they are going to.

He asked someone to help him so much, Yang Jian said that he had to find a chance to return it.

Li Bai knew that this person didn't like to owe favors the most, and he only hoped that his 12 yuan—about 11 yuan left—was enough.

After all, he is the same, if Yang Jian is asked to lend him money, he is not willing.

On the way, he dragged Yang Jian into the supermarket in the small alley to make a fare. For Li Bai, instead of thinking about it so much, it's better to think about what to eat at night.

Yang Jian hasn't found a place yet, so he and Li Bai are huddled together in the basement. The sofa is good enough to sleep on, but there is basically no place to stay with a small folding table and an induction cooker in the open space.

He couldn't make one with a lot of oily smoke, and he was afraid that the smell wouldn't go away for a year or so. In the past few days, Li Bai could only stew the soup in different ways, and then use the soup to cook the vegetables and noodles.

He put down all his work, and sent a list of the medicines he took to Dr. Fang early on, and received a text message from that person "don't stop", and then there was nothing else to do, which was a bit boring.And Yang Jian was not at home during the day, and Li Bai didn't ask about it the first night. He didn't know what was going on until he saw a stack of advertisements taken out of his bag the next day.

Yang Jian is planning to rent a house outside, and all he looks at are one-bedroom apartments or shared renting.

It's really crisp.

But yes, it was too much torture to be huddled in this basement with him.

"Have you chosen?" Li Bai couldn't help asking when serving the soup.

"Not yet," Yang Jian said, "I'm going to rent it in Ping Anli."

"Pinganli?" Li Bai pretended not to read the rental bill carefully, put the bowl in front of Yang Jian, wiped the soup on the rim of the bowl with paper towels, big bones, white radish, and dried goods were too full to fill the soup. Squeezed out, "You used to go to school over there."

"Yeah." Yang Jian's lens was covered with fog, he took it off, and picked all the onion and ginger in the pot into his own bowl.

"Are you going back to teach in No. [-] Middle School?" The chopsticks and spoons inevitably fought, and Li Bai smiled.

"I can't go back now," Yang Jian said in an ordinary way, "I have been living alone in the mountains for five years, who would believe that he can still teach junior high school students in Beijing."

As for other future plans, he seemed not ready to say any more, and Li Bai didn't ask any more.He believes that Yang Jian is not rusty and is always firm, this person can find a satisfactory job.And it was very strange that the silence that he hated the most before was now between the two of them, but it made him feel at ease.Sometimes he is even afraid to ask questions, because he is completely unsure of the answers he will get.For example, can you take me with you, if I survive this time, regain my health, and be able to take care of myself; it is also like what do you think our relationship is now, friend?old acquaintance?A person who can safely not wear a set of guns?They may just be too familiar, have no relatives, and cannot accept each other's death, and now they have to be tied together by illness.

After going to the hospital, let alone sex, they didn't even receive a kiss.

Of course, Li Bai is not a white-eyed wolf. He can feel the liking of Yang Jian, and at certain shining moments, floating between smiles and caring, in Yang Jian's hot water-like eyes, making him I want to be as obedient as possible, to make Yang Jian as relaxed and comfortable as possible, and to feel cared for like him, but do I want Yang Jian to let go of the past?Want Yang Jian to love him?Li Bai is not so good at dreaming big dreams.

Then there is no need to ask out to make fun of yourself.

Before returning to the hospital to get the results, Li Bai took Yang Jian to the top floor, where he used to like to stay after being bored underground for a long time, and gave someone a haircut.He had a premonition that he would live in the courtyard for a long time, and Yang Jian's hair happened to be too long, and it began to block his eyes.Those strands of hair, jet-black and silver-white, no longer prick your hands when they grow so long, and they are even more light when cut. They fall to the ground in pieces, but they can't stay, and are scattered by the wind.

What is this?A sense of ritual?farewellFinishing?The previous days have already passed, and the mountains and rivers are far away. He wants Yang Jian to worry less, and also to let himself less, so that he won't be in the operating room still thinking about the few things that got in the way of that person's forehead. thread.He also liked the intimacy of black hair wrapped between his fingers.It's just that it's too funny to express the sense of ritual with haircuts. Li Bai felt that he was really dedicated to his work. He thought about it again, and there was nothing wrong with it. He only knew how to do this.

Looking at Yang's new hair and feet, standing under the blue sky and white clouds in early autumn, he looks a little boyish, but it feels good.Yang Jian seemed uncomfortable being stared at, and lowered his head to smoke, while Li Bai still looked at him and opened the cigarette case himself.

They squatted in the wind, the ash piled up together, unable to distinguish each other, and spread a shallow layer on the bottom of the trash can they brought.

"You haven't wanted to drink these days?" Yang Jian asked suddenly.

"Actually, it's a little bit during the day," Li Bai said honestly as he dusted the cigarette rod, "What's the matter?"

"I just remembered that you could get drunk after eating lychees." Yang Jian kept his eyes on, "You want to drink when you are free, don't you?"

Li Bai was stunned for a moment, at this moment he was [-] things were in his eyes were pinched to ask, but he smiled. He shook his head, "It's weird, it's so weird."

Yang Jian was speechless again, and quietly finished smoking the cigarette, waiting for him to calm down.

But Li Bai pressed his unfinished cigarette on the cigarette butt he threw into the barrel, it burned black, and then extinguished it together. He said jokingly: "You accompany me to quit smoking."

And Yang Jian nodded without hesitation, and kept his promise. As soon as he went out to the hospital, he threw the cigarette case and the lighter into the trash can downstairs in the community, the "harmful garbage" one.

So Li Bai also threw his own into it.

Very faintly, he heard the sound of plastic colliding against the bottom of the barrel.

The results of the examination can be said to be unexpected or not as expected. Li Bai did have something growing in his liver, but it was just a hamartoma with a diameter of just over four centimeters and no calcification. The chance of malignant transformation was almost non-existent. When it grows up, it may compress the diaphragm, so it is recommended to remove it surgically.

Fang Zhaozhi really had a strong relationship, and when he got the results at noon, Li Bai was assigned to the ward in the evening, not even going to the West Hospital, but only among the poorly-supplied tumor wards in the East Hospital.

Double room, clinical is a man in his 60s, who is also a patient of Fang Zhaozhi. He just picked out a fist-sized tumor from his femur in the morning, and the tumor that has spread to the lungs cannot be recovered. He is lying on the bed silently, with the infusion tube and breathing The computer is connected, the whole person is dying, so thin that the quilt hardly bulges.

The curtain between the two beds was drawn by the nurse, and Li Bai sat on the edge of the bed, motionless.He felt that he should also be quiet and lifeless. His illness was too mild. It seemed cruel to show a little vitality next to such a patient.

Before he could be quiet for a while, another nurse came in, asked him to fill out a few forms, and hung a tag with his name on it in front of the bed.When she went to the clinic for inspection, Li Bai heard the old man sobbing, and saw the door open, this time it was Fang Zhaozhi walking in.

"I don't have surgery the day after tomorrow afternoon. If your physical signs can reach the standard by then, we will take the time to pick up the things. We will rest carefully in the past two days, eat according to the nurse's requirements, and take good care of our body. We will be discharged from the hospital in about a week. "Speaking, he half-closed the door and walked to the bed. He wore a red tie under his white coat, which made others look good. It was a bright touch that was rarely seen in this ward. "Where's Yang Jian?"

"Go shopping."

"I'll buy you something delicious." Fang Zhao smiled.

In fact, it was to buy a phone card, Li Bai thought, answering the calls from the real estate agency and taking up all the phone bills.But he also smiled at Fang Zhao: "It should be."

"Hey, your brother, although he doesn't talk much, and sometimes looks a little impatient, he is actually very kind to people and caring about people." Fang Zhaozhi bit the cap of his pen and wrote a few strokes on the new tag , He closed the pen again, and his articulate words became clear again, "He was the kind of lone ranger at school, no one would talk to him, and others would ask him for help, to play with him, and to enjoy himself without looking for him. I used to I was thinking about who you are, but he called me a few days ago, and I was also taken aback."

Li Bai nodded, he didn't want to talk too much about Yang Jian, it felt like sharing, he didn't like it at all.

"Why did he go to teach in the mountains?" Fang Zhaozhi said again, "Five years, crazy!"

Li Bai said, "I don't know."

"Aren't you actually brothers?" Fang Zhaozhi glanced at his watch, feeling a little cramped. The strap was different from last time. "I've heard of you in school."

Don't you need to hurry up and do the room rounds?Li Bai thought to himself.Slightly squinting his eyes, he looked at Fang Zhao and said, "It's really not."

"There is no blood relationship. If you really want to say it, you are an acquaintance." He said again.

"acquaintance?"

"Friends." Li Bai didn't want to put more money on his face, and he didn't want to expose Yang Jian's sexual orientation—what else could he say?Friends who sleep together at night.In fact, it may not necessarily be a matter of sexual orientation. He is the only one who turned Yang Jian into a gay?Where did you put those girls from before?

Fang Zhaozhi didn't ask any more questions, and went to check the bed next door. A few minutes later, he and the nurse walked back and forth, pushing open the white door of the ward.

"Brother?"

Hearing the man's whisper, Li Bai turned his head suddenly, only to see Yang Jian walking in with a bunch of flowers and a bag of lunch boxes.