quail

Yang Jian was wearing a palm green shirt. Li Bai had never seen it before. It should be a new one. It drapes well and fits well. It makes him tall and thin, and his profile is as thin as a piece of paper.Li Bai approached, but saw that Yang Jian's complexion wasn't too bad, there were indeed wounds on his face, as well as on his hands, but the scabs had formed, which didn't seem to affect his flexibility.

"I'll come back to get something." Yang Jian said.

"Where's Xiao Hui?" Li Bai stood in front of him.

"Release," Yang Jian bypassed him directly, and entered the bedroom door, "According to reason, whoever breaks up will move out. I have already paid the rent for two years. If you come back from abroad, you can continue to live there." Live, you can change places if you want.”

Li Bai felt that every word was hurting himself, but found that he was calmer than expected, at least he could say a complete sentence, "When I saw Xiao Hui disappeared, I thought you were really going to leave," he said. With his hands behind his back, he leaned against the edge of the door, "Did I do something wrong?"

"No." Yang Jian opened the suitcase. It had been moved to the side of the bed. It was tossed in a mess, and some pages were folded. He was not angry or surprised. I'm leaving.

"Then there is no reason?" Li Bai looked at him and chuckled.

"Do we need to find a reason for being together?" Yang Jian asked back, but Li Bai blocked the exit, and he still didn't look anxious.

Li Bai still smiled and thought, you are so good brother, no wonder you also competed in debating competitions at school. "Then you're admitting that we've been together." He slowly raised a hand slightly trembling.

"I won't go abroad." He tried to touch the corners of Yang Jian's bruised eyes, "You can leave me without a reason, and I can't leave you without a reason."

"When you took Xiao Hui away, why didn't you just take the luggage away? It's obviously easy to carry." His fingers trembled, and then he tried to steady himself, his voice became softer and softer, "You just want me to When I found out that you were back, I was out of my mind for several days. I could only sit here and wait for you. I couldn't think of anything, and I couldn't do anything. Waiting for you to come and talk to me. Are you punishing me? You just have something to talk to I said."

Yang Jian didn't hide, and let him touch. His fingers slid from the eye sockets to the browbones, and slid up the blood channel on the side of the bridge of the nose, but his eyes made Li Bai suddenly feel that what he touched was a mass of void.

"There are reasons to separate." He said slowly, "But speaking out will make you uncomfortable."

Li Bai's eyelashes fluttered, "Say it. Say it!"

"If we have won the jackpot now, or some nobles from a small European country only think about food, pain and love every day, then we are very suitable to be together." Yang Jian looked at him with that kind of quiet eyes.

"The actual situation is that being together is not as easy as being apart," Yang Jian caught every trace of his dodge, and still explained clearly, "For me."

Li Bai was dumbfounded, and almost slipped to the ground. Yang Jian cut off every way to defend himself so precisely, how could it be true, so cold-hearted, without any hesitation.But what Yang Jian said seemed to be true.It was indeed all true, otherwise how could he be so speechless after hearing it?No, Li Bai didn't allow himself to be speechless!He grabbed Yang Jian's hand, and his fingertips curled up again when they touched the gauze, "Did Gao Jie do something again? Brother, tell me the truth, what happened after you drove me away that day?"

"I lost my temper and got into a fight with me, it wasn't because of you," Yang Jian remained expressionless, "There's no need to think so far."

"I know, brother, I just did something wrong. I didn't tell you that my sister knocked off the child. I was dishonest, which is why I have so much trouble. Before, I was stealing your clothes and stealing your clothes every day. I ran to your company in a daze and talked nonsense, saying that I want to live with you in a hole because my brain has problems from time to time. I went to the hospital and ran away because I was disobedient! I know, you can’t accept this, change me I don't accept it either, I can change it, I'll go to the hospital tomorrow," Li Bai didn't dare to slow down his speech, he grabbed Yang Jian's upper arm, Yang Jian still didn't dodge, he almost pounced on him Hugged him, "I'll find that doctor, and I'll tell him everything he asks me, and I won't run away."

"Do you need his appointment number?" Yang Jian asked.

Li Bai was completely stunned, did he hear correctly?The hug froze in his arms before it even happened, and so did the words, swelling infinitely and going nowhere, crushing him flat.His eyes were wide open, his pupils were full of confusion, and seemed to be empty, his lips were slightly parted, and he panted as if he had just run a few kilometers.

"I understand, I know!" He was afraid that if he stayed for a long time, Yang Jian would walk away impatiently, "Then I can go abroad, I will listen to you, go to relax and learn more, brother, that sister Linda, I will contact her right away, and I will work hard when I go out, and I will listen to you..."

He couldn't go on, as if he had been bullied so much, his face was flushed from neck to neck, his hands were also red, tears rolled down his cheeks and poured into his neck, they were still hot, he hurriedly buried his head and wiped them indiscriminately, Because Yang Jian didn't intend to raise his hand to help him.

"Be careful." Yang Jian pulled the box to the door, and he was about to leave.

"Wait a minute!" Li Bai yelled, he rushed back to the bedroom and pulled out a shoe box from under the bed, then knelt there, rummaging through it frantically. Lost, Yang Jian also knew that one year when he celebrated his birthday, Yang Jian quietly put a necklace inside, pinned to the card that said "Happy Birthday", the pendant was a regular pentagon with a regular six shape, and each has a tail.The workmanship is not exquisite, they are all composed of metal wires, but they are very strong, and there are traces of welding at the joints.

It was a long time after his birthday before he discovered it. Holding it in his hand and asking about it, Yang Jian told him that it was the molecular formula of serotonin, also called 5-hydroxytryptamine, a neurotransmitter that makes people feel happy.

Can I make you happy?Yang Jian was laughing at that time, seeing his cloudy face with a smile, pinching his nose with a smile.

Li Bai's fingers brushed the edges and corners of the pentagon, not daring to stay, and touched the bottom of the box.He pulls out a CD with a plastic case. It's an album.Dou Wei's "Black Dream", published in 1994, has long been out of print.

"I received it. I remember that you like him very much... I found him in Daliushu Ghost City!" Li Bai didn't want to be so downcast, and the result of forcing himself was to cry and laugh. He felt that he must be ugly now, "I thought I’ll send it on my birthday, but I’m sure I won’t be able to come back when I leave the country...you take it, brother, take it.”

"Don't give it back. Don't give it back." It was almost begging.

Yang Jian opened the box in front of him, flattened it, and silently sandwiched the album between two thick and fluffy engineering notes.

"Could it be that I've left the country, we both have to be quiet for a while, and after we meet again, there is still a possibility for us." Li Bai put his hands behind his back again, his fingertips were already bleeding from his pinch, "I will go out well. , and then be very good, very good, and be careful. I miss you every day... Is this okay? We are just, temporarily separated, and it is impossible...to never get in touch with each other."

"En." Yang Jian lowered his head to deal with the stumbling old zipper, Li Bai couldn't see his expression, he could only see his fingertips whitishly pinched on the top of the chain, "Take care." He said in a hoarse voice again, quickly He stood up, and when Li Bai saw it clearly, he was already facing the gate, pulled the box over the threshold, and left without looking back.

Sometimes the suitcase bumped against the wall, making a lonely sound echoing in the corridor.

Applying for a passport, resigning, paying attention to foreign exchange, these things that have never been done before, if you really do it, it is much friendlier than Li Bai thought.It was hard for him to explain how he spent those days. How lonely was he alone at home at night?Halfway through eating, I suddenly started to smoke. My mouth was filled with bitter taste. I felt very sick when I bit into the cold and delicious food. I ran to the toilet to dig out what I just ate. How inexplicable ?How embarrassing would it be to scratch yourself and dirty the faces of customers with the usual scissors before resignation?Time has passed, and when I think about it again, it seems that I can’t remember it anymore.

Li Bai only felt calm, he didn't even remember that he had cried, he just did what he had decided step by step, telling himself that this was enrichment, holding an eraser, longing to erase previous mistakes.The white paper was covered with pencils, but it was a relatively large area to be erased and it took a long time.He should have an eraser.It wasn't until the end that his peace was broken, and he didn't know who made the move. Sister Linda called that day and said that the visa was approved and the air ticket was on the way. He asked him to remember to go to the post office to pick it up. Hook, and ride to change dollars.

At the time when the bank got off work, he exchanged a thick stack of red bills for a thin envelope of green ones, and carefully put them in his satchel. Li Bai went home facing the sunset that hadn’t turned red. Under the leaves, on everyone's face, Li Bai shed tears.Beijing.The city he knew five years ago.Now, for the first time, he was going to leave, he didn't want to go, it didn't make any difference whether he went or not.What is Yang Jian doing?Is Yang Jian's previous laugh and hug true?Was it cold that day?He stayed with him for three years. At the age of 17, Yang Jian taught him everything and let him have it. Now that he is 20 years old, Yang Jian said goodbye. Was the exhaustion of patience such a sudden and thorough thing?But those things were still in his body, and he couldn't finish digging them out.

Li Bai was crying while riding, crying so hard that he couldn't see the road clearly, so he could only stop to wipe, with one foot on the ground, he accidentally parked in the bicycle lane in front of the bus station, and was chased away by the bus behind him by honking.

He cried all the way, with strange eyes on his face, bought a lot of things in the supermarket, dangled on the handlebars on both sides, and went home. He decided to save the time when he went out to pick up the plane ticket. Will leave this house again.He cleaned up, cut his hair, packed his luggage, and nothing else mattered. He had to take all the jewelry and nails with him, and most of them were bought by Yang Qiang who was interested in buying them for him.There are also clothes, I only brought a few pieces of my own, and those Yang scissors left here filled most of the space in his suitcase.

After all these were done, there were still two days before take-off, and Li Bai sat on his red sofa and began to kill time. He was the only one, and in order not to let one of them collapse into a small hole, he would change seats from time to time.Didn't sleep, because I didn't feel sleepy. I watched more than a dozen movies, and the plots were all confused in my mind. In the bathroom, he picked out all the things that made him uncomfortable, then rinsed his mouth, washed his hands, typed with both hands, and sent a text message to Yang Jian.

On May 24th, it was exactly one month after the last contact.

After all, everything has been said clearly, and it will be annoying to continue to harass.

He said: I'm leaving tomorrow, it's my first time flying, I'm a little nervous!

He also said: I closed all the windows. If you have time, come back to help ventilate. Just come back and close it after two or three days every two months. I am afraid that the furniture will become moldy.

Finally he said: Brother, I am scared outside, can I send you an email.You don't have to go back.

Not long after, Yang Jian replied with four words: safe journey.

Li Bai lowered his head, stared at the trash can beside his feet without moving for a while, then suddenly smiled.This trash can with a lot of snacks, fruit peels and soda cans, the disposable paper cup filled with cigarette butts on the glass coffee table above its head, and the green wine bottles scattered all over the floor are actually talking about the same thing. .

Parting is so real.

Is it the same for those girls in the past when they parted with Yang Jian?Li Bai couldn't help thinking about it again, starting with a lot of panic and tears, and ending with a sentence of "Be careful", "Take care" and "Safe journey".No, totally wrong, Yang Jian didn't seem to bless them, and they didn't bless Yang Jian either, as if he was the only one who was a little more peaceful this time?

So Li Bai thought that he must, must, and after all, be different. He can put his hopes on this long journey, and he can look forward to what will change and what will happen after he returns.

If he didn't think so, it seemed that he couldn't live.