[Comprehensive] I thought you were going to attack me

Doppo Kunikida, male, 22 years old.

A member of the Armed Detective Agency, with a different ability - "Solitary Singer".

As a terminally ill patient with severe obsessive-compulsive disorder, today's Kunikida came to the door of the detective agency just in time.

Then he counted down to the last second with his watch before pushing open the door——

"Good morning."

"Mr. Kunikida! Please help me!"

Before he had time to enter the door, Kunikida Doppo saw their newest member, Atsushi Nakajima, with a face that was blue, white, purple, purple, and black, and almost straightened his face.

"...What happened so early in the morning?"

"Mr. Dazai, he... he has become like that... and he still... still..."

The moment Kunikida heard the pronunciation of "Dazai", before his brain reacted, his stomach was already throbbing with instinct.

He used his rationality to forcefully control this disorder called "Dazai Osamu Syndrome", and looked up in the direction of Atsushi Nakajima who was stuttering.

Then he saw first... a woman.

a strange woman.

The other party looked to be around 20 years old, wearing a white dress with a fairy BUFF, sitting there like the source of light for the entire office.The long black hair seemed to be tied up at the back of his head casually, but it made the seven-point immortality soar to the twelve-point.

The thing that turned this solid literary film into a horror film is that just when Kunikida's gaze was frozen, a... yes, a Dazai Osamu appeared from behind the opponent.He stretched out his slender arms wrapped in bandages, wrapped them around the woman's shoulders, and let out a faint laugh.

"Did you see Miyuki-chan! This is the world after death! Huangquan Hirasaka! Ah~ I feel happy at this moment. It doesn't matter if I don't go to reincarnation. I can walk on the clouds with you here. The ground is surrounded by green smoke, and the window is The shattered moon, pink elephants dancing in the western sky! ① — By the way, did you see the man over there? He was my colleague when I was still alive! Every time I was short of money, the bill The actual spender! — Kunikida-kun!"

The woman let him hang on her body expressionlessly. When Kunikida and Atsushi Nakajima glanced over together, the other party blinked, and then smiled apologetically.

"This……"

If Osamu Dazai was the only one, Kunikida was already going to sit down in the office right now, and after completing today's tasks, he would deal with a certain guy who was looking for smoke every day.

But at this moment, the detective agency suddenly has an outsider who is not a member; if it is a guest who came to entrust, this guy Dazai...

Wait, it seems like this is something Dazai would do, right? ! ! !

"So, Dazai——!!!" Thinking of this, Kunikida immediately rushed towards the entangled two people, reaching out to try to peel off a device that wasted bandages from the "victim", "Usually just find someone to die in love Forget it, this is a detective agency! It’s a decent office! How can you pester a lady here and do such unsightly behavior in broad daylight?!!!”

Osamu Dazai would be easily pulled away, but this time he stuck to the strange young woman like some sticky creature.In order to avoid involving the other party, Kunikida had no choice but to pull his arm harder:

"Dazai—!"

"Well, are you Kunikida-kun?"

Just when the tug-of-war between the two was in full swing, the woman who was clearly in the center of the flames of war, but was avoided as if she was in the eye of a typhoon, suddenly spoke softly.

Kunikida paused for a second.

"I'm sorry, I originally agreed to go to the back mountain to breathe fresh air this morning, but he found a mushroom that was very similar to the manual, and then ate it... After that, because I was really entangled very badly, I took the liberty to go together coming."

"No, it's okay." Kunikida said subconsciously, and then suddenly realized——wait, that's not the problem, is it?

Judging from the meaning of the other party's words, could it be that she and Osamu Dazai...?

"You know him?"

Kunikida asked, and at the same time his eyes fell on the face that made him feel a little familiar when he looked at it from a close distance.

As a member of the detective agency, Kunikida Doppo is at least not blind.Although not to the extent of "remembering every face I've ever seen", it can make him feel familiar, and he is vaguely sure that he is not someone he has seen recently...

When the woman was talking just now, Osamu Dazai, who was rarely silent and well-behaved, suddenly stretched out a hand at this moment, and pressed it accurately on Kunikida's face:

"Kunikida-kun, it's very rude to stare at a famous woman like that~ Hehe, why don't you come to the land of the underworld together! Look, there are not only colorful paramecium, but also casual drinking Drink and eat whatever you want..."

I don't know when, Dazai Osamu's hand that was pushing the opponent's face has changed into a gesture of pinching one side of the opponent's cheek.

He pinched it, and then kept talking to himself, while pulling it out forcefully.

Kunikida Dobubu: "..."

Kunikida Doppo: "...###"

The man whose face was pulled endured for three seconds, and finally raised his arms neatly, and with a loud shout, he lifted Dazai Osamu from behind the unknown woman, and fell to the ground with his back——

"Do not you upset?!!!"

"..."

The black-haired young man who was smashed to the ground by him was dizzy for a few seconds, and then opened his eyes in a daze.His gaze wandered a few times on the ceiling, and finally landed on the seat diagonally above——

Facing the woman who was sitting peacefully from beginning to end, she showed a slightly dazed smile:

"Shenxue-chan, it hurts so much, can you hug me?"

Kunikida Dobubu: "..."

Atsushi Nakajima: "..."

The eyes of the two turned to the woman in the seat again, and they heard the other party sigh.Then she stood up from her seat and quickly squatted next to Osamu Dazai's head:

"Now that you're awake, I'm going back, okay?"

"Did Miyuki abandon me just like that?" The young man looked very aggrieved.

"...Aren't you at work, dear? Besides, as an unemployed person, I never expect to rely on you to support my family. Sooner or later, I will go out to work to make money."

Although she said "dear", her tone was so gentle that it gave goosebumps, but Miyuki's expression seemed to be reading a medical report to a colleague.So Osamu Dazai blinked, then turned over on the floor:

"It's fine to leave the work to Kunikida-kun, and now Atsu-kun is getting more and more useful. Even if Miyuki is not here at the moment, I should sleep on my desk."

Kunikida Dobubu: "..."

Atsushi Nakajima: "..."

Seeing the two chatting in the office like no one else, the two light bulbs in the room looked at each other, feeling that they were radiating thousands of watts of light in BULINGBULING.In the end, Kunikida couldn't bear it any longer, and took a deep breath——

Suddenly, a white light flashed in his mind, and then he remembered why he thought this woman looked so familiar.

Almost three and a half years ago, in a program called "Five Days Island", he met a person whose appearance and temperament were very similar to the female star "Nagi".

As a loyal and unknown fan of the purple hair star, Kunikida naturally left an impression on this person.What's more, he later witnessed the other party being involved in a series of Shura fields, and the ups and downs of the plot made people stunned.

If it was only like this, he would not be still impressed today.The problem is that when the show was terminated early and they left Bidao, they saw the corresponding identities of the contestants on the official forum——

The woman who was dressed very much like Nagi was later confirmed by the official to be "Miyuki", an actress of the same generation who has a good relationship with Nagi.

As the undoubted first-line female star in Japan back then, Miyuki attracted another wave of enthusiastic attention after her identity was confirmed.After that, she suspended other activities due to her participation in the filming of the movie "Tragic Marker", and the related discussions about "Five Days Island" gradually faded away.

Then... on the eve of the filming deadline, the news of her sudden retirement came.

When the other party's agent announced that "due to an accident, I have to leave the stage temporarily", the fans refused to believe it at first; after confirming that the news was correct and definitely not a hype, they immediately launched a vigorous campaign to retain it.

However, the person concerned never appeared again, and there were rumors that she got married, or retired and went back to inherit the family business.A more reliable theory tends to be that she has encountered some accident and has become a vegetable.

There should be no death, otherwise such news would not have been concealed.

"Mi, Miyu..."

Looking at this familiar yet unfamiliar face, Kunikida rarely suspected that there was something wrong with his memory.Because no matter how much imagination was given to him, Kunikida couldn't imagine——

Retiring, or in other words, why did this national superstar who had disappeared for three years appear in the Armed Detective Agency in Yokohama three years later?

Moreover, and still with Osamu Dazai...

"Kunikida-kun, don't you see it? Of course Miyuki is my girlfriend."

Osamu Dazai suddenly sat up from the ground, looked up at Kunikida, his tone and expression returned to the most normal.

Kunikida Dobubu: "..."

However, the former's "normal" only lasted less than ten seconds, and he took advantage of the opportunity to half-hung himself on the squatting woman again, and then said in a sticky tone that could almost be called disgusting:

""Nah-so Shenxue-chan, stay with me for a while, stay with me, stay with me~"

Kunikida Dobubu: "..."

"Ah?! Dazai, what nonsense are you talking about?!" It was as if he had read the page numbers in the work plan for a consecutive week, and Kunikida's face was filled with disbelief that was infinitely close to blank, "Atsushi, what the hell is this?" yes……"

Atsushi Nakajima showed the expression of a poor laborer who was squeezed out: "Yes, it should be like what Mr. Dazai said—because Mr. Ranpo said so last time."

Kunikida Dobubu: "..."

Who am I? Where am I? This must be a dream... No, I've never had such a terrible nightmare!

"Mr. Kunikida," at this moment, Haruno Kirako pushed the door open and came in, accustomed to the chaos in the office, still showing a professional smile, "I have a commission from the president today."

The author has something to say: ①Excerpted from "Dazai Osamu's Guide to Joining the Company"

When I wrote "Dun Jun is getting better and better", I especially wanted to write "Dun Jun is getting better and better"... Then I checked and sent a few