[Comprehensive] Late Night Radio

In this world, there are really too many things that you want to do but can't do.

Even if I want to do it, I can't do it.

It's not that I'm not capable, or that I don't want to try.

just above that...

I "couldn't work on this".

Can't go this way.

what……

What a cruel reality.

Although, I don't feel that the shackles of reality have imprisoned me.

It's just that there are too many unspeakable things in the world. Even if you want to say it, the meaning will change the moment you speak.

"Little Zero?"

His words brought me back to reality.

As long as someone brings up this topic, I can't help but think for a long time.It was like being pushed into the deep sea by someone, unable to see light or breathe, only the muffled sound of running water echoed in my ears.

"Ah, sorry..." I smiled at him, "When I talk about this, I think of other things."

"No, no..."

Before he finished speaking, the surrounding crowd suddenly surged, and it seemed that we were about to be separated.

Just then, he took my hand.

"what……"

"In short, let's go to a place where there are no people."

"okay……"

Just because he was afraid of being separated, he didn't mean anything else, right?

I think so.

In the end, he and I held hands all the way to the lake in the amusement park.Probably because Kisaragi's concert had just ended, and there was no one around here.

The surface of the lake was sparkling, and the sunlight refracted into my eyes through the surface of the lake. It was very dazzling, and I couldn't help closing my eyes slightly.

On the path near the lake, there are benches at intervals.

He led me to the empty seat.

"Okay, there's no one here, can we let go?"

"Huh? Just now, I don't know who took the initiative to lead me all the way."

Even though he said that, he still let go of his hand.

I still have his temperature on my hand.

"That, that's because...!"

"because?"

"Because I want to get a seat in the front row! It's a last resort..."

"But if I hadn't done that just now, I'd probably have gotten separated."

"I know...! But you don't have to let go until just now! It's not a child, it's strange to keep holding on! We're not a couple!!"

"..." He was silent for a few seconds, frowned, and looked a little unhappy, "Then you mean that I can't do the things you can do? Besides, at that time, didn't you just find a seat?" Did you let go?"

"That, that is..."

Too bad I can't find anything to refute...

This is the first time he has spoken to me in this tone.Even if my attitude towards him was not very good before, he didn't seem to mind. Maybe I was too pushy... Woo, why am I so stupid...

Just when I wanted to apologize to him, he said that sentence——

"Let's talk about you, from before..."

If it weren't for the wind blowing gently, I might feel that time and air were frozen at that moment.

Images kept flashing back and forth in my mind, as if an old disc was constantly regressing.

Rewind from a frame to a frame from a longer time ago.

But I never saw those pictures.

"before……?"

For a while, I couldn't understand the real meaning of his words, but subconsciously thought it was an old-fashioned way of striking up a conversation like "have we met somewhere before?" That's all.

"Ah, sorry..."

He looked at the lake not far away.

But I think he's looking at something farther and farther than the lake.

"Even if it's teasing words, it's too old-fashioned, isn't it?"

I pouted, hoping to find the answers to those pictures from his reply.

"No, that's not..." He held his forehead, "Sorry, it's nothing. Forget it."

"Oh... well."

Even so, the air was still stiff.

To be honest, I think his type of person, who can find a topic with you no matter what, is the type that will never make girls feel bored.

Of course I don't think it's boring now.I just feel that there will be such a moment of silence when I am with him, which I never thought of anyway.

I'm the kind of person who's not very good at dealing with silence, and I really hate the feeling of being in a cold war (although that's not the case at the moment, I'm just giving an example).

If only there was a way to break this silence...

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it just now... And if you didn't say it, I might not have realized that something was wrong when I just ran all the way holding your hand... I was so excited at the time..."

"No, nothing." He was still a little silent.

——But soon, he returned to his usual state.

"Why don't you talk more about your affairs than mine?"

"Hmm...you can, but I don't have anything to ask. I can answer you as long as you don't ask such mentally retarded questions as measurements."

"Then..." He finally looked up and looked at me.The corners of the mouth rose slightly, as if returning to its usual state.

"As for what you just said, about idols—"

...?

I really didn't expect him to ask me this.

I grabbed the hem of my skirt tightly, trying to hide my inner anxiety and panic.

"How about we change to a...?"

"Of course I won't force you if you don't want to say it..."

I was relieved.

"But, is it bad to break your promise?"

As a result, he chased after him.

"Uh……"

It's true that I just said that everything is fine except for measurements...

This question is true, although I don't want to mention it, but more precisely, no one has ever asked it.

In fact, it's not something that can't be said, it's better to say that in these years, I have always wanted to tell someone to listen to these words.

But there is no one who can listen to me about it.

And absolutely absolutely must not let my mother know about it.

Because I've been cheating on her.

"But if you talk about this, it will be a very, very long topic, huh?"

"I'll listen carefully."

"I'm worried you'll fall asleep..."

"How could it be? You have a serious expression, but I can't take my eyes off it."

"Well, since you're determined to listen..."

I take a deep breath.

The water surface in front of me was swaying, and the shadows of the reflected clouds were fragmented.

The sound of cicadas came from the woods behind him.

There was a constant humming of cicadas.

"—Actually, from the beginning, I wanted to become an idol."

Idols are really cool.

It shines brightly at any time, bringing people dreams.Many people in the mud can be saved.

That is the embodiment of love and hope...

"From a young age, or rather from the time I had that consciousness, I wanted to be an idol."

At that time, I could still practice singing every day, and watching everyone dancing on TV would be very exciting.

At that time, I firmly believed that no matter what happened when I grew up, I would definitely become an idol.

only……

"But in this world, there are too many things you want to do but can't do, aren't you?"

I look to the sky.

For example, humans cannot fly even if they want to.

For example, even if a cat wants to live in the deep sea for a long time, it cannot do so.

The more I looked at the things I dreamed of, the more I realized that it was too far away from me.

"Actually, that's not the case."

But that's because neither humans nor cats have the ability to fulfill the above dream.

But birds can do it.

And fish can do it too.

Because humans don't have wings but birds do.

Cats cannot breathe underwater but fish can.

however--

Humans can do things that birds cannot.

Cats can also do things that fish can't do in a lifetime.

"Although I haven't said anything about it before."

Unless the bird's wings are broken, the fish stops breathing.

In other words.

Things that cannot be done are indeed impossible to do in a lifetime.

Because it is "impossible".

But my wish is "possible".

It's not because of objective reasons that I can't achieve it, but——

"My father died before I was born."

"It's an incident."

"He was killed by someone else."

"So far this matter has not been resolved."

"But those things happened before I was born, so I never saw him, not even the photos."

"Never heard his voice."

"I heard everything about him from my mother."

"...their love story is very romantic. When I heard about it, I thought it was a movie plot."

"In short, my mother is blind, although not born with it."

"........."

"Dad, he is the host of the radio station."

"It is said that countless scouts have spotted him, but he does nothing but this."

"Although what is the reason why he did this, I still have no way of knowing."

"But I think it's probably because Mom can't see, but the radio..."

"It doesn't matter if you can't see it."

The older you get, the farther you will be from your dreams.

There are too few people in this world who can stick to a dream until the end.

Because when I was young, I felt that I was omnipotent.

I heard that there are many scientists in the world, so I took it for granted that I, too, could be a scientist.

Because news about astronauts is broadcast all the time on the TV news, I feel that this profession can be done by everyone.

It wasn't until I grew up that I realized that some things were too far away from me.

Time drags its heavy pace, unknowingly putting chains on human beings.

The more you grow, the more you will find yourself so incompetent in front of the world.

Only those who have never experienced anything will feel that the future has infinite possibilities.

"Whenever Mom mentions Dad, she laughs."

"She had a good laugh."

"She really likes Dad."

"so……"

Because I also like her very much.

I also like the man she told about.

Although I have never met him, nor will I ever see him again.

But I did understand "parental love".

"So what I can do now."

"Only doing the same thing as my father."

I stood up.

Opened his arms.

I try to meet the wind blowing on my face.

I fantasize that the wind will stir my hair, and my hair may be almost transparent under the sunshine.

However, no wind came.

I also can't see the hair behind my shoulders.

Even if I want to see the scenery farther and farther ahead.

I can see.

But there is only a small lake sinking in this amusement park in front of my eyes.

The road ahead is blocked by mud, and there will be no small lake that will converge to the sea after all.