[Comprehensive] Martyrdom is not a good civilization

The world is both interesting and boring.

It's a terrible feeling that nothing is out of control.

Is there really any value in being alive?

Dazai's eyes were empty, and he lay on the single bed in the health room with one hand behind his head, staring at the yellowed ceiling in a daze.

A week ago, Dazai appeared here without warning.

The Complete Suicide Manual is not at hand, and neither is Ayako.

boring boring.Osamu Dazai complained in a low voice.

I promised to live until my birthday, but it seems that I can't do it.

He stood up and opened the window, and the off-white curtains were blown by the wind.Dazai looked into the distance, like a reef eroded by seawater and full of holes, and the wind blowing past made a lonely whimper.

He almost went home with the wind.

"Clap!"

The golden pocket watch appeared out of nowhere, and fell to the ground under the force of gravity after losing its support.

The pocket watch was as old as a product of the last century, and a note fell out from the broken cover.

Dazai raised his eyebrows and bent down to pick it up.

When he opened the note, he saw familiar handwriting—his handwriting.

Dazai Osamu's pupils shrank suddenly, showing a rare expression of surprise, the note melted at his fingertips, shattered into golden streamers and disappeared into the air.

The sunlight in the daytime seems to be so shallow that it does not exist, but at dusk it is so bright that it has a sense of presence.

The orange-red light blurs the lines of the world, and the false warmth is imprinted in the eyes, and the coldness package that I can swallow people's hearts.

The buildings in the female dormitory are very close to each other. If you look up at the sky when passing through the middle, you will feel oppressive and suffocating.

I sat on a lame stool in front of the dormitory management station, thinking about life.

Just now, I found the dormitory key in the small pocket of the schoolbag. On the key is a hand-washed white doll.

Look familiar?

Forget about my little doubts, the only thing I should worry about now is what should I do when I get back to the dormitory.

The housekeeper aunt urged me back to the dormitory impatiently, she was going to lock the door.

People are always afraid of strange things. When I think about it, even if Tanaka Xue Nai didn't hurt me, and even treated me with a friendly attitude, I still can't help but think wildly.

Will she stand at my bedside watching me at midnight?

Will she tear me to pieces with a hideous look on her face?

The orange red in the sky transitioned to crimson purple. I stood up and walked to 404 women's dormitory.

I thought I was supposed to be terrified, not tense or anxious, but it wasn't.

In the moment of making a decision, my mind strangely settles.

He was tortured before death, buried in the soil after death, and finally lived with maggots in the silent night.

Will this be my end?

never mind.

"Crack."

The key was inserted into the lock and turned around, and the piercing sound of metal clasps spread in the dark corridor.

I pushed open the door, casually like opening the door of my own house.I feel tired, and even think that death might be a good choice, if it hurts less.

The faded old curtains in the dormitory were half drawn, and black phantoms shrouded the room. I saw Tanaka Yukina curled up quietly on the upper bunk, her dark eyes slowly moving with my movements.

She is indeed here.

I closed the door behind my back, and the room became even darker.

I looked at her and asked softly, "Can I turn on the light?"

She didn't speak, and her eyes slowly moved up from me, and fell on the blackened energy-saving lamps on the ceiling.

Standing was tiring, so I pulled out a stool from under the desk with the name "Ayako" on it and sat down.

After a long time, I heard her soft voice: "No... she said dazzling."

"it is good."

I lowered my eyes, the patterns on the floor blurred in the darkness.

I didn't ask who "she" was, it would be rude to ask in front of "her".

Silence spread in the dormitory, I didn't look at Tanaka Xue Nai again, I couldn't even understand what I was thinking, I kissed my chest, my heartbeat was surprisingly steady.

Naturally, the students don't have mobile phones, and they don't have other entertainment tools. It's still unknown whether they can survive tonight, so I choose to sleep.

Will this be my resting place?

After a simple wash, I lay quietly on her lower berth.