[Comprehensive] Martyrdom is not a good civilization

If people can calm their minds, not thinking about anything, not doing anything, then the mind will be empty and there will be no troubles.

But this is something that even children who don't understand anything can't do.

After solving the gift problem that bothered me, my impetuous heart has calmed down in recent days.

Next, you need to complete the creation with all your heart, and then hand it over to the old man in the bookstore, and everything will be fine.

I sat quietly by myself, with the smell of paint on the tip of my nose, and the hustle and bustle was far away from me. The relaxed and comfortable mood slowly spread from the bottom of my heart to the whole room.

The color should be bright and saturated, but not too harsh. I recalled my inner feelings when I saw the story of the shadow tea bowl, and the surging inspiration came like a tide.

What kind of person will the old man be when he was young, what kind of experience will he have, and have he ever been frustrated in life?

I conceived little stories one by one in my mind, and the tip of the pen fell on the manuscript paper without any hesitation.

My breathing was light and slow, for fear of disturbing the bright blue sky in the story.

"Dididi—dididi."

The phone rang, and it was rare that I didn't feel irritable after being disturbed. Maybe the story in the painting was too beautiful, or maybe it was as if I was weaving my own dream through the story, which was too intoxicating.

I picked up the phone, and it was a call from my former editor, Mizusawa.

Influenced by my mother, I started to learn painting when I was very young. I won an award in the national painting competition for teenagers and published my short stories in magazines.

As I grow older, my painting skills continue to improve, but in the words of the editor, the aura in me is gradually fading.

The innocence of being ignorant of the world when I first learned to paint has disappeared. I can only see my inner bewilderment and the panic of wanting to spin cocoons to wrap myself in the paintings.

Since then, painting was really just a way to pass the time, and I started letting go.

It is a lie to say that the heart is not hit.

The phone rang for a long time, and I finally answered the phone with a sigh: "What's the matter, Editor Mizusawa?"

"Sakura Valley, do you want to try again?" Editor Mizusawa was a new editor when she took over from me, and I was still a small group of children.

Maybe it's a stereotype, until now she has been a little cautious when talking to me, which is really considerate.

"Next month there will be a short story event in the club, the theme is flowers and dusk, if you want..."

Editor Mizusawa stubbornly believed that I no longer voted for the magazine because of the sentence she blurted out after having a disagreement with me——Sakura Valley, you are too crafty, and the magazine is not just a place to show off your skills!

I have thought about it a lot since then, and I am deeply convinced.

I looked at the drawing paper spread out on the table, my fingertips trembling slightly.

We didn't speak on the phone, only the sound of each other's breathing was heard quietly.

Flowers and dusk... I want to go.

The inner voice is honest.

I want to try to draw more stories and see if I can draw more warmth from them. The taste of being immersed in them makes me seem to fill the hole in my chest, full of heavy happiness.

"...I'll think about it, thank you."

Now I am like a lonely and thirsty traveler walking in the desert covered with wind and frost, clinging to something that can quench my thirst.

Zhimeng magazine can barely squeeze into the first-class in the industry. The manuscripts in the agency are of high quality and have a stable group of young and middle-aged readers, but because they do not suit the tastes of young people, their reputation is not high.

This is right for me.

I said it was a consideration, but I have already made a choice, but I still need a little time to change my mood.

Just focus on the present at this time, and think about other things later.

I touched my slightly hot phone, thinking of Dazai, who had been depressed all the time and had a personality like a changing little fairy, so I sent him a message as if to show off.

【Mr. Dazai, I have found my purpose in life!When I become a great painter, my paintings will be very valuable! 】

【Star-Eyed Rabbit Ji.jpg】

Remove the big stone in my heart, drink a glass of boiled water, hum a song and continue to create.