why are they still in love

In less than half an hour, Xiao Chining cooked a pot of millet porridge, mixed a plate of cucumbers, and fried a plate of shredded beef in Beijing sauce.Xiao Zhaoshan sat across from him, filling his stomach quietly with his eyes downcast.

Although these were just simple home-cooked dishes, they tasted no less than the same dishes he had eaten in big hotels.As he ate, he couldn't help but feel a little pity.

Now he has free time to think, and the truth he hopes is that Xiao Chining just didn't have time to tell him that he went to Chi Yan's company this afternoon in addition to eating takeaway and buying vegetables.

However, the food on the table was almost finished, and Xiao Chining still didn't seem to want to confess this matter.

He went from being absent from school classes to hating winter, from hating winter to wanting to travel to warm places during the Spring Festival, from wanting to travel to visiting Hu Yingxue's grave.

"Father, I searched the news a while ago. Are Hu Yingxue's parents in Peking University First Hospital?" He suddenly asked.

"I don't know, I don't care." Xiao Zhaoshan drank the last mouthful of millet porridge and put down the bowl and chopsticks.

"I care." Xiao Chining said, "I want to take a look."

There was a dark color in his eyes: "Look at what kind of parents can force their children to death."

Xiao Zhaoshan nodded, there is nothing to do: "Go if you want."

"So, what about you." He wiped his mouth with a piece of toilet paper, and brought the topic back as if nothing had happened.

He raised his eyes to look at Xiao Chining: "In your mind, what kind of parents are Chi Yan and I?"

Xiao Chining's expression softened instantly, and he bit his chopsticks in a daze: "Dad, why do you ask such a question?"

Xiao Zhaoshan smiled: "Just curious. I wonder if you and Hu Yingxue became friends because of me and Chi Yan."

Xiao Chining didn't know how to answer.

It seems so, and it seems not.His experience is similar to that of Hu Yingxue, but far from that.

If he can't win over Chi Yan, at least he still has Xiao Zhaoshan.He is not completely helpless, he can only vent his depression and grievances in the diary, and he can only calm his anger and despair with blades and blood.He could cry in front of Xiao Zhaoshan, laugh in front of Xiao Zhaoshan, sit and eat with Xiao Zhaoshan, and talk at least half of his thoughts with Xiao Zhaoshan.

Xiao Zhaoshan, Xiao Zhaoshan, Xiao Zhaoshan... From this, he discovered that the whole meaning of his stay in Beijing was Xiao Zhaoshan, just Xiao Zhaoshan.

"Probably." He put down his chopsticks and answered honestly, "Isn't it necessary for friendship to have common topics and resonance?"

Xiao Zhaoshan nodded thoughtfully, and stood up from the table: "I've finished eating. If you don't want to wash the dishes, just put them there and do it tomorrow."

Xiao Chining also stood up in a hurry: "I thought you would say, if you don't want to wash the dishes, just leave them there for you to wash."

Xiao Zhaoshan turned around and stepped up the stairs, his steps were a bit heavy.

He said softly without looking back: "Xiao Chining, I'm tired."

Xiao Chining followed him upstairs, and asked with a smile, "Do you need your Xiao Ning to help you relieve your fatigue?"

He wanted to make Xiao Zhaoshan happy with a wisecrack, because his back looked not only tired but also melancholy.

When this word popped out inexplicably in his mind, the smile on Xiao Chining's mouth suddenly became stiff.

How could Xiao Zhaoshan be depressed?He looked like the kind of person who couldn't be depressed for the rest of his life no matter how big a setback he encountered.He lived like a gust of wind, coming and going without leaving a trace, neither loving nor hating nor greedy, as if all the desires in his life were thrown into the fireworks of sex, let him have skin-to-skin contact with men and women one after another, and then, there was no after.

"What's wrong with you?" He was a little worried.

But Xiao Zhaoshan talked about something irrelevant: "I bought you a skateboard, and it should be delivered to your home tomorrow. If you like it, you can take it downstairs to play. You don't have to tell me if you don't like it. "

Hearing this, Xiao Chining became even more disturbed.He reached out and grabbed the hem of Xiao Zhaoshan's clothes, stubbornly trying to find out why.

"Father, you may have forgotten. I have studied oil painting for several years and read many professional books. You can tell me about work. I know many skills..."

No matter how fast he talked, Xiao Zhaoshan didn't let him finish.

"Xiao Chining," he stopped at the corner of the stairs, turned around and looked down at Xiao Chining, and suddenly asked, "Where did you buy vegetables today?"

Xiao Chining choked: "You ask this..."

Xiao Zhaoshan stared into his eyes and said with a more serious tone: "Answer me."

Xiao Chining's face gradually darkened, as if he had changed a mask.

"You spy on me." He affirmed word by word.

Xiao Zhaoshan clearly witnessed that the worry in his eyes turned into anger without any effort, and he almost wanted to laugh at himself.

For a moment, on the stairs, the two fell into a tense silence.

They confronted each other for a long time, and Xiao Zhaoshan's thoughts turned back and forth. He learned that Xiao Chining began to exist in this world in the prison, and thought that he had to hold his fingers before he would sleep when he was a child, and then thought of them being in the mountains on National Day. Xiao Chining held his hand and said, we can start from here.

Everything had already been foreshadowed unconsciously, all pointing to today's result.

As if suddenly enlightened, Xiao Zhaoshan said calmly: "Next time, don't go to buy near your mother's company, the cucumbers are not as sweet as the ones you bought before."

After speaking, he turned back and went upstairs.

Xiao Chining no longer clingingly followed.He just stood at the corner of the stairs and asked loudly before Xiao Zhaoshan pushed open the door: "Aren't you going to divorce Chi Yan?"

Xiao Zhaoshan didn't answer, and entered the bedroom without looking sideways.

Immediately afterwards, the sound of locking was heard upstairs.Then the house was completely quiet.

His sneakers and Xiao Zhaoshan’s leather shoes are stored in the shoe cabinet in the hallway, and there are two pairs of bowls and chopsticks that have just been used up on the dining table on the first floor, and their respective body temperatures are still left on the chairs, but Xiao Chining feels that he is Lost his audio.

He stood motionless on the dark stairs, not understanding why Xiao Zhaoshan could even monitor him so confidently.Obviously the one who should be more angry is him.

I can't just leave it like that.

Why is he destined not to be loved and favored wholeheartedly by someone?

He climbed up to the second floor, came to the door of the master bedroom, took a deep breath, and managed to make his words sound less like a question.

"When did you divorce Chi Yan?"

After the voice fell, Xiao Chining listened carefully, but there was no sound in the room.

He clenched his fists and raised his voice further: "Yes, I didn't go to the vegetable market in the afternoon. I bought vegetables at a supermarket near Chiyan Company."

"But isn't it normal for a son to go to my mother's company? It's not a secret institution, is there any reason why I can't go?" He paused for a while and asked provocatively, "Or, the reason why you spy on me is because you don't want I took the initiative to find her because you were afraid that Chi Yan would know about me and you?"

He sneered: "Xiao Zhaoshan, are you afraid?"

Xiao Zhaoshan in the room remained silent.

Xiao Chining took him as the default, and became more unscrupulous: "Then you are very lucky. I didn't see her today, and she has no chance to know about us for the time being. At least she won't know until she returns to Beijing."

"You can still be her good husband for a while," he sarcastically said, "and you can continue to deceive yourself that you are in love, and you and her are both free."

There was no response, Xiao Chining looked as if he was angry at a door: "How wonderful, Xiao Zhaoshan, you can love whoever you want, you can do whatever you want, and you can leave me whenever you want Leave me alone."

Drop it, yes, drop it.

It's not that he is losing Xiao Zhaoshan, but Xiao Zhaoshan is abandoning him.

Xiao Chining read such a foreshadowing from his speechlessness.At this moment, no matter how his chest rose and fell, no matter how heavy his breathing was, he couldn't swallow the fear disguised as resentment.

"Xiao Zhaoshan, talk." Panting, he took half a step back, gritted his teeth and kicked on the door, and roared like crazy, "Xiao Zhaoshan, you fucking talk to me!"

He slammed on the door with the same force that he used to destroy the gallery office, and repeated harshly: "You can't do this to me...Xiao Zhaoshan, you can't do this to me!"

There were more than a dozen loud noises in the air one after another, boom, boom, boom—suddenly, his fist smashed into the air, the door opened from the inside, and a hand bigger and thicker than himself hugged his fist, Pulling him in by the wrist.

"boom!"

The door slammed shut again, leaving only Moonlight locked out.

The lights in the room were not turned on, and Xiao Chining felt dizzy in the darkness where he could not see his fingers.In the next second, his lower back slammed into the door lock, and the pain made him moan involuntarily.

Xiao Zhaoshan easily lifted him up, and then pressed on him, with his forearm firmly stuck around his neck, also gnashing his teeth with hatred: "Xiao Chining, I only ask once."

Xiao Chining was hanging in his hand, unable to see his expression, he could only pinch his arm, and subconsciously raised his head to fight for a little oxygen to survive.However, it still failed to shake half a point.

In the sudden suffocation, he realized in a trance that Xiao Zhaoshan had never really been angry with him.At first he didn't care, but later he didn't need it. Only now, he can be called furious.

"What are you going to Chi Yan's company for?" He strangled Xiao Chining's throat without mercy, as if he would immediately break his neck if he couldn't hear the answer he wanted to hear.

Xiao Chining struggled in vain with his toes on the ground: "Let go...hand, I'm going to die..."

Xiao Zhaoshan didn't mind, and didn't relax at all: "Don't you want to die, I'll send you to die."

Xiao Chining's face was flushed, the veins on his temples were bulging, and his ears seemed to have been poured with cement. He couldn't hear anything clearly.His mind was getting more and more dizzy, and he only remembered that Xiao Zhaoshan told him to die.

Xiao Zhaoshan told him to die.

"I don't...I don't want to..."

The desire to survive stimulated the secretion of adrenaline, he squeezed out the last bit of air from his chest, burst out with tremendous strength, and screamed in pain: "I don't want to die!"

Xiao Zhaoshan was suddenly pushed away by him, his center of gravity was unstable and he fell back to the ground.He propped himself up and touched the bloodstain on the cheekbone on the left cheek that was scratched by Xiao Chining's nails.

He stared at Xiao Chining who fell to the ground and was breathing hungrily, and he was still asking: "Who sent you to Chi Yan Company, who made you take drugs, who made you sleep with me , who told you to come to Beijing."

He slowly stretched out his tongue to lick off his own blood on his fingertips, and ordered Xiao Chining: "Say."

Xiao Chining fell on the ground, panting for the rest of his life: "...It's you, you let me go, you let me come. It's you..."

"Me?" Xiao Zhaoshan stared at him darkly, "I told you not to go anywhere."

Xiao Chining looked up at him, and smiled sarcastically: "Just to keep Chi Yan from knowing, you actually wanted to kill me. Dad, you almost killed me."

Hearing this, Xiao Zhaoshan also felt that he had survived the catastrophe.

He got up and walked to Xiao Chining, squatted next to his head, and warned in a low voice: "If you really betrayed me, you won't have the chance to say 'almost' to me today."

Xiao Chining regained his strength, got up from the ground and leaned towards the door, clutching his aching chest, looked back at Xiao Zhaoshan, and asked him: "What about Chi Yan, didn't she betray you? Why didn't you go kill her?"

Xiao Zhaoshan stretched out his hand, followed the blurred outline to hold his face, gently stroked the corner of his eyes, but the words he uttered were harsh.

"She's nothing, Xiao Chining." He smiled, "Instead of trying to be clever and threaten her with our relationship, it's better to please me. I'm the one who will love you."

Xiao Chining only felt miserable: "How could our family become like this?"

Since he really didn't know anything about Yue Zezhang, Xiao Zhaoshan didn't intend to bring it up again.

He knelt down, took Xiao Chining, who was still breathing calmly, into his arms, lowered his head and kissed his ears gratefully, and pretended to answer his non-questionable questions insincerely.

"It's simple, because we have never been loved, and we all make mistakes for love."