why are they still in love

Later, whenever Xiao Chining recalled that rare and peaceful evening alone, he would marvel at the "fate" that Xiao Zhaoshan called.It's just that he didn't realize at the time that it represented not only the end of a boring time, but also the beginning of a "destined" one.

Since then, Xiao Zhaoshan no longer resists being in the same room with him, as long as he promises to be safe.And this tranquility made Xiao Chining paralyzed for a while.

On some nights when the two were at home at the same time, he would take the initiative to go to Xiao Zhaoshan's study or studio, and sit next to him to watch a whole movie or read half a book silently, until he was so sleepy that he yawned several times before he suddenly realized Time goes by, and then I think, why on earth am I sitting here?

Oh, to have a place in Xiao Zhaoshan's heart.

So he calmed down again, and continued to pass the time by Xiao Zhaoshan's side with a shy face, completely forgetting that he was a high school senior who should be busy and anxious.

He remembered his own identity, and it was the day when the school issued the Mid-Autumn Festival and National Day holiday notice.Unfortunately, the statutory eight-day holiday is only for four days in senior high school.

But these four days were enough for the whole class to cheer, except for Hu Yingxue.

"The rest is just to squeeze us better." She said while packing her schoolbags, "If their parents enroll them in two one-on-one full-day tutoring for advanced mathematics and English, they will never laugh."

"Full-day tutoring?" Xiao Chining heard this stuff for the first time.

Hu Yingxue gritted her teeth and answered, "It's the product of college students studying in two well-known local universities who want to make money and go crazy."

"You still use tutoring?" Xiao Chining thought it was funny.

"How ignorant we are, there is never too little supplementary knowledge." Hu Yingxue counted on her fingers, "Do I need to learn TOEFL? Do I need to learn GRE? How can I go abroad and see the wider world if I don't learn? Fuck|Fuck. "

Xiao Chining didn't know whether Chi Yan came here like this back then. According to Qiu Yin, she was self-taught and never needed the help and supervision of her elders. She relied on her talent and self-discipline to secure her No. 1 position.

Now Xiao Chining has reason to suspect that this is the common vanity of being a parent, because most people can't do it effortlessly, and can only cover up their efforts in a superficial way, so as to make it look like success is easy.

"What about you, how do you arrange your vacation?"

He puts his skateboard on the ground and honestly reveals his idleness: "Smoking, drinking, hooking up."

It was a miracle that he hadn't had sex in almost three months.

Hu Yingxue sneered: "Yes, but I know you are a good boy."

"Be jealous——" Xiao Chining slid forward for a short distance and then slid back to her side, his voice weakened and then intensified, "This kind of absurd life, even freedom is not worth mentioning."

Hu Yingxue cursed: "When you wake up one day, this absurdity will be the beginning of your pain." [1]

"Why aren't you?" Xiao Chining said.

Hu Yingxue retorted: "I have always been sober, so I have been in pain."

Xiao Chining thought to himself, why not me.

On the last day of the holiday, he didn't go to evening self-study, and after saying goodbye to Hu Yingxue at the school gate, he didn't go for a stroll on a skateboard, but went home directly.

Xiao Zhaoshan and Chi Yan were invited to fly to Malaysia yesterday to attend the second wedding ceremony of the chairman of a leading express delivery company, and they will be back at [-] o'clock without accident.After Xiao Chining bought the vegetables, he fried vegetable tempura in the kitchen with Bach's Sonata in G minor playing outside his mobile phone.

The melodious and mournful music of the violin pierced through the entire first floor. He held the chopsticks and looked at the gradually fluffy batter in the hot oil. He suddenly remembered the scene when Chi Yan went to Hangzhou on a business trip and stopped by his home to visit Qiu Yin and him.

If I remember correctly, Ching Ming Festival was not a holiday at that time. As soon as he entered the house after school, Qiu Yin rushed him into the bathroom to take a shower: "Hey, why don't you open an umbrella? Didn't I put the umbrella in your schoolbag in the morning?"

Probably every boy in the second year of middle school has dreamed of being in the rain, and gradually realized that he is not similar to other students. He naively thought that the original sin on his body could be washed away in some way.

At that time, he hadn't suffered from meningitis, he liked rain and snow, and he loved early summer and winter very much. Like every sad and lonely boy in TV dramas, he would run aimlessly on the playground in the rain.

As shameful as it may seem now, it was once his only outlet as a young adolescent.

So Xiao Chi Ning, the first grader in the first year of junior high school, brushed off the rainwater hanging in his hair nonchalantly, and didn't take the towel she handed over, and replied in a muffled voice, "Don't worry about it so much."

Vegetables were still stewing on the pot, and Qiu Yin didn't have time to tidy it up for him, so he simply pushed him into the bathroom: "How can I ignore it?! Your mother will be here soon, clean up, don't let her see it so messy!"

When he reluctantly took a shower and returned to the bedroom to change into home clothes, Quin pushed open the door without saying hello, went to the closet and helped him choose clothes: "I'll buy you some clothes." If you don’t wear so many good clothes, why don’t you wear this to see your mother?”

Xiao Chining had just put on a cotton T-shirt and was still naked underneath, and was taken aback by the unexpected attack, so he hurriedly turned his back and covered his little brother: "Can't you knock on the door? ! I'm changing clothes!"

Qiu Yin was very disdainful when he heard the words: "Hey, I brought you up. I haven't seen anything on you? I'm sorry."

She finally found the set of clothes she was looking for, raised her hand back, and said: "Wear this one. Your mother comes here when she is free. Dress up nicely and don't let her worry about it."

Xiao Chining didn't understand the necessary connection between these two sentences. He just felt that what he was going to welcome at home was not his biological mother or his own daughter, but a leader who came to inspect the work.

And the most ridiculous thing is that the old man prepared dinner all afternoon, Chi Yan didn't sit down to taste even a sip, no matter how glamorous he was, Chi Yan didn't even glance at him.

She came gracefully with an umbrella in hand, asked about their recent situation in two or three sentences, stuffed a large sum of money, and left gracefully. The whole process took no more than 15 minutes.

He still remembers Qiu Yin's lonely and silent eyes on the dining table. At that time, he secretly swore that he would not be a person waiting for alms, and he would never want that look to happen to him again in his life.

After dark, Xiao Zhaoshan and Chi Yan really came back.After finishing the meal, Xiao Chining lay in the dark and rested his mind. Hearing the sound of the door opening, Xiao Chining skillfully adjusted his expression and walked out of the bedroom.

However, the future itself is a replay of the past.

He didn't close the door a few months ago, and when he came out, he saw Xiao Zhaoshan and Chen Yu kissing passionately in the dark entrance. Today he happened to not close the door, and when he came out, he saw Xiao Zhaoshan and Chi Yan making the same gesture in the same place .

They threw down the suitcase impatiently, and hugged each other tightly under the only light in front of the window.

They were the only ones left on the huge stage.Xiao Zhaoshan put his arms around Chi Yan's waist, stroked her back and forth with a big hand, and kissed her more and more deeply.Chi Yan leaned back, put his hands on Xiao Zhaoshan's shoulders, and responded with forgetfulness.

Xiao Chining subconsciously held his breath before this scene.

There are still meals made by him on the table behind him, but they obviously want to taste each other's taste more than those dishes that they think about their preferences.

Be jealous, this kind of absurd life, even freedom is not worth mentioning.

Xiao Chining was dying of jealousy.

He didn't understand why Xiao Zhaoshan and Chi Yan could ignore all the infidelities and betrayals of each other, be willing to be blind, still talk and laugh as usual, still insist on kissing and hugging, still love each other blindly, and still not love him.

Xiao Zhaoshan seemed to have sensed it, and suddenly half-opened his confused eyes, looking in the direction of the dining room.Then, he saw Xiao Chining's fists hanging on both sides of his body and his extremely sad expression.

He was so infected by that sad face that he stopped his movements unconsciously, out of thin air, he had the complicated emotions of seeing his father and another woman cuddling together outside the window.Like confusion, like fear.

More uneasy.

The temperature on the lips left, Chi Yan opened his eyes suspiciously, held his face and asked, "What's wrong with Zhaoshan?"

When she didn't get a response, she followed his fixed gaze and looked back.

Suddenly seeing Xiao Chining present, she was also taken aback, then hurriedly took a step back from Xiao Zhaoshan's arms, and smiled and tucked her loose hair behind her ears: "Didn't you go to the evening self-study today?"

After a while, Xiao Chining replied with difficulty: "School is on holiday."

Chi Yan changed his shoes and turned on the headlight in the living room as if nothing had happened: "Have you eaten yet?"

Xiao Chining took a deep breath, and tried his best to smile back under the dazzling light: "Not yet, I have cooked and want to eat together when you come back."

Chi Yan had eaten on the plane, but when he walked to the dining table and saw a table of dishes, he still whispered without knowing whether it was true or false: "It's so rich, I know your father is going to collect wind tomorrow to make so many dishes." Is it?"

The corners of Xiao Chining's mouth froze, not knowing that the blood in his body could be cooler like this.

He turned his head to look at Xiao Zhaoshan, and asked with a fake smile: "Father, didn't you just come back? Are you going out again tomorrow?"

Xiao Zhaoshan put on his slippers without saying a word, took off his windbreaker and put it on the armrest of the sofa, completely ignoring his intention.With sharp eyes, Xiao Chining saw that his crotch was already rising and falling.

Let it cool down a bit.

"I made a temporary decision at the wedding yesterday. It happened to be a holiday and the gallery wasn't that busy." Chi Yan answered for him, then turned around and waved to Xiao Zhaoshan who was sitting on the sofa, "Zhaoshan, come and eat some more, there is steamed rice you like sea ​​bass."

Xiao Chining reheated the dishes in the microwave, and 10 minutes later, the family of three sat at the table in a strange atmosphere.

Xiao Chining had no appetite, so he only brought food for Chi Yan: "What about you, Mom, what are your plans for the holiday?"

Chi Yan glanced at the dishes in the bowl calmly, and said with a smile: "I don't have any holidays."

Xiao Zhaoshan remained silent.

Chi Yan picked up the small dishes in the bowl and ate them, and asked Xiao Chining politely: "What are your plans?"

Xiao Chining smiled wearily: "I'm a little tired, I want to take a rest."

After saying that, he eagerly grabbed his chopsticks and looked at Xiao Zhaoshan: "Can I go to collect wind with my father?"

Xiao Zhaoshan swallowed the food in his mouth, and vetoed it without thinking: "Collecting the wind is very tiring, I can't rest."

"You forgot, I also studied oil painting for nine years." The corners of Xiao Chining's mouth raised, but his eyes were unfathomable, "I can learn things and enjoy the scenery, how can it not be considered a rest?"

Xiao Zhaoshan raised his head solemnly and looked over.

Even in front of Chi Yan, the two could no longer pretend.

Xiao Chining looked back at him without hesitation: "Is it strange that my son wants to go on a long trip with his father?"

He softened his voice, and deliberately said the second half of the sentence to Chi Yan: "I've grown up so much, I haven't traveled well in other places, and I don't even know what the outside world is like."

Sure enough, Chi Yan said: "It just so happens that I haven't booked a hotel yet, Zhaoshan..."

Xiao Zhaoshan directly interrupted her.His gaze was locked on Xiao Chining, both suspicious and scrutinizing, making it impossible to hide.

"Xiao Chining," he ordered word by word, "tell the truth."

[1] Adapted from some of Camus's claims.