why are they still in love

After an autumn rain and a cold, the pagoda tree flowers outside the teaching building have all fallen, and the teachers and students who come and go step into the cracks of the floor tiles when they fall to the ground, turning into a disgusting dark brown.

Xiao Chining's most hated season is coming.

It may be because there is no heating in Hangzhou in winter, and it can be completely cold after cooling down. After recovering from a serious illness, he would have a high fever every winter.

At one point, Qiu Yin thought it was a sign of meningitis recurrence, so he was so frightened that he bought an expert number from scalpers at a high price, and sent him to the hospital that day.

But the final result didn't know whether it was disappointing her or something. When she heard that the old expert with gray hair and still in good spirits diagnosed it as a common fever, there was a hint of anger on her face.

So in the second year Xiao Chining got a high fever and fell asleep. Her solution was to keep opening his mouth and pour him hot water.

The medicine is three-point poisonous, your immunity is so weak, you will recover quickly if you don't take it.She explained it this way.

Beijing is colder than Hangzhou. The first official monthly exams of the senior year are on Thursday and Friday. All the students in the class are anxiously and meticulously preparing for the exam all the time. Going to the bathroom and queuing up to recite political test points.Only Xiao Chining and two or three people who sentenced him to death didn't matter.

He had to go brush the streets before the weather was completely cold.

The living expenses for the next month have already been transferred to his account, so he turned around and ordered a new limited edition large fish board, and asked the merchant to engrave a wicker on the place where the name was engraved.

The skateboard was delivered on Monday afternoon. Xiao Chining picked up the delivery in the guard room, unpacked it on the spot, and then put it in the back door of the school during dinner time, and hid it behind the rockery.

There was no extra homework for the evening self-study, and the political teacher was on duty to answer questions and had no time to check in. He threw his schoolbag in the classroom openly, took only his mobile phone and cigarettes, and walked out of the school.

At this time, he hadn't realized that his deskmate, who only went to the toilet and went to the office to ask questions every day, just stayed on the seat and memorized the questions, had already disappeared for half a self-study class before him.

Perhaps in order to achieve the effect of a fully enclosed boarding system, the school is far away from the business district and transportation hub, and the vicinity here can already be called desolate.The fluorescent paint looks like a galaxy in the night when there are few street lights, smoothly outlining the shape of the skateboard.

Xiao Chining flew to a darker place on the Milky Way.

A few days ago, he took a look at the satellite map. He bypassed an old residential area and an urban park through the back door. There was a small forest with slopes, mud and obstacles, which was suitable for testing the grip and shock absorption of the new wheels. ability.

The only inconvenience is that there is no lighting, the weak light in the woods comes from the night sky, and the vehicles passing by on a dual carriageway next to it.

Xiao Chining held the board horizontally in his hand, and climbed up the long slope with a drop of nearly ten meters in the dark.However, as soon as he stopped at the top of the slope, he heard a dull sound followed by screams.

Not people, but cats.

He didn't know if there was any difference between northern cats and southern cats. In short, when male cats in the south came into estrus in spring, they barked like ghosts suffering in Abi Hell.

But this is not the south, and it is not spring.Xiao Chining was suspicious for a moment, so he held his breath and listened.

The vague dull sound did not reappear, but the cat's mourning continued clearly, one after another.At first it was intense panic, and soon the long and short intertwined gradually lost its regularity, becoming painful and helpless, and finally turned into intermittent and powerless gasping.

Xiao Chining walked lightly, followed the sound and walked towards the source of the sound vigilantly.

The distance is not far, and the voice is already very close, as if it is right next to the ear.But when he wanted to identify a more accurate position, the woods suddenly fell into a strange dead silence, and the breeze seemed to stop at this moment.

An off-road vehicle with high beams on came from a distance on the road, briefly illuminating the darkness.

At that moment, Xiao Chining saw a pair of blood-red eyes staring straight at him.

Instinctively he took a half step back in fright, not only for the real person he had just mistook for a bush, but also for the face he recognized with unrecognizable eyes.

"Hu Yingxue?"

He took out his mobile phone and turned on the flashlight, taking a picture of his deskmate sitting slumped on the ground without his school uniform.

Hu Yingxue covered her face with her hands to avoid the glare, and in front of her was the corpse of a cat in a horrific death.

She was pale and asked through gritted teeth, "Are you following me?"

"Following?" Xiao Chining's accelerated heartbeat slowly returned to normal. Hearing this, he waved the flashlight up and down amusedly, deliberately shaking her eyes, "Why should I follow you?"

Hu Yingxue said angrily, "Take it away!"

"Following you to watch you abuse cats?"

He moved his wrist again, letting the light fall on the wild cat that had stopped breathing, and clicked his tongue: "There is a way."

There was still bait in front of the corpse, which was a half-eaten bag of Miao Xian Bao, and the murder weapon was a sharp foldable fruit knife.The cat's stomach was brutally slashed open with several ten-centimeter-deep wounds, and its tail was smashed into a bloody mess by a stone.This is probably where the dull sound came from.

Xiao Chining profiled the entire killing process through the still picture in front of him.

Hu Yingxue learned that wild cats often appeared in this small forest, so she specially bought delicious food that even domestic cats could not resist, and waited for the target wild cat to relax its vigilance and come to eat. , holding a fruit knife in the other hand, stabbing and killing back and forth under its struggle.

Definitely not a first offender.

For the first time, Xiao Chining became curious about this ordinary-looking and slightly fat Yuyou.

Seeing that he didn't show any surprise or apprehension, and Hu Yingxue didn't show any panic or fear of being smashed into a crime. Instead, she breathed a sigh of relief as if she could finally take off her mask, and her expression stopped showing her teeth and claws.

"Why are you here?"

Just now she was concentrating on waiting for the opportunity for the rock to fall, but she went mad after she got it, immersed in injustice, anger, pain and bloodthirsty, she didn't notice that someone walked into the woods and found her position in the first place.

In order not to startle the snake, Xiao Chining clamped the new skateboard between his forearm and waist just now, so it can naturally cover up the movement.

"And why are you here?" he asked back.

Hu Yingxue disdained: "Ask the question knowingly."

"I do not know."

Xiao Chining laid the skateboard flat, sat down on it, lifted the truncated tail with his toes and looked at it: "Does it have to die?"

Hu Yingxue did not answer for a long time.

Xiao Chining was not in a hurry, he leisurely lit a cigarette, and looked at the slightly deserted road from the gap between the trees and the marginal bushes.This calmed him down quite a bit.

The smoke was half burned, and Hu Yingxue finally let go of the fruit knife as if she lost her strength, slumped her shoulders and silently grabbed a few dead leaves around her and sprinkled them on the cat's corpse, covering it by [-] to [-]%.

After finishing this task, she moved to the side-by-side position with Xiao Chining, changed to a more comfortable sitting position, frowned and spread her palms in front of his eyes: "Hey, give me one."

Xiao Chining took a puff of smoke and refused, "I don't call you hello."

Hu Yingxue said angrily: "Student Xiao Chining, hello, please, give me a cigarette, please? Thank you."

Xiao Chining smiled, and wanted to throw the cigarette case into her arms, but accidentally dropped it on the arched pile of fallen leaves.

"..."

he did not do it on purpose.

Hu Yingxue's hand was stuck in the air for only a moment, then she picked up the cigarette case from the simple tomb without any suspicion, and skillfully took one out of it and put it between her lips.

Xiao Chining subconsciously pressed the lighter for her.

"Thank you."

This time it was sincere.

"You are also very different from what you see on the surface."

Xiao Chining was attracted by the word "also" all his attention.

"How different are you from Hu Yingxue on the surface?" He asked.

"How should I put it?" Hu Yingxue thought for a while, "She is everything my parents expected, but she is the part of me that I hate the most. It is not an exaggeration to say 'going against the grain'."

She swallowed the tar and nicotine mixed with the smell of blood: "I don't remember when I began to desire to kill her."

Xiao Chining looked at the curve on the ground again: "Will she be fine after she dies?"

"No." Hu Yingxue misunderstood the meaning, and looked at him with a cigarette in her mouth, "It's better to die once than I die myself."

"Poor." Xiao Chining said succinctly, whether he was referring to a human or a cat.

Hu Yingxue turned her head and looked at the road not far away with him.

"But the most damned are my parents."

Xiao Chining smiled, and the straight smoke shattered in the air into a mouthful of carbon dioxide exhaled in winter: "I don't need to elaborate, I can't understand it."

"Being passionate." Hu Yingxue sneered, "17 years is so long, if I really want to talk about it in detail, I can't finish it in three days and three nights."

Xiao Chining didn't quite agree, probably because his life so far was so boring and absurd that he always felt that his 17 years could be summed up in one sentence - a defective product that was abandoned three times.

The first time was when he was exiled to Hangzhou by his parents, the second time was when he accidentally learned the truth about the so-called exile, and the last time was when he recognized the fact that even so, he still had expectations for Chi Yan and Xiao Zhaoshan.

"Do you think I'm different from what I can see on the surface?" he asked with interest.

Hu Yingxue replied without thinking: "Kindness and loneliness."

It's a vulgar answer that fits everywhere.Xiao Chining had reason to think of Liu Runxi.

Liu Runxi once asserted that they are of the same kind because of the same orientation and similar loneliness.But for some reason, if Hu Yingxue said these words, he would not have the slightest feeling of anger or contempt.

Being praised for her kindness by a girl who just tortured and killed an innocent wild cat is like being given a bouquet of lilies by a gangster with a cropped head and tattoos all over her body. It's a little funny.

Xiao Chining pressed the end of his cigarette butt into the soil, and raised his eyebrows at her: "How do you know that I never thought of killing someone?"

"But haven't you killed yet?" Hu Yingxue sighed maturely, "This is the greatest kindness."

Xiao Chining was persuaded.

"I want to hear from you now."

"Too much pressure." Hu Yingxue replied, "This answer can summarize all the results of all events."

"It's just a monthly exam." Xiao Chining handed Hu Yingxue another cigarette before lighting a new one.

"They don't think the monthly test is just 'just'," Hu Yingxue took the cigarette and said thank you, "They hope that I can even get the daily test correct every time."

"Daily Test" is the collective name for the self-examination papers issued by each teaching and research group of the grade group every day. The size of A4 paper is generally composed of ten multiple-choice questions, four fill-in-the-blank questions and four short-answer questions. Or earthquake and debris flow will not be less fixed work.

"My dad would point to her nose and ask if she was trying to feed me stupid because my mom added MSG to the soup. There's no point in yelling at him at the door."

Hearing this, Xiao Chining probably understood what kind of people Hu Yingxue's parents were.

It is the kind of person who can make outsiders at first glance say "poor parents in the world".

"Sometimes I'm curious." Hu Yingxue looked up at the sky, but couldn't find the moon. "What kind of parents really love each other, and what kind of children are they like."

She lowered her head in frustration, and laughed at herself, "Forget it, it's definitely not like me anyway."

Xiao Chining couldn't help but think, are Chi Yan and Xiao Zhaoshan in love?If so, why are they so comfortable acquiescing to each other's infidelity?Could it be that love is not an exclusive and absolute privilege, but, as Xiao Zhaoshan said, unconditional respect and tolerance?

If this model can be called "respect" and "inclusive".

"Hu Yingxue, let me ask you." Xiao Chining stared straight ahead, his eyes lost focus, "How can we be considered 'in love'?"

Hu Yingxue turned her body and glanced at him, and then said the most core and least explainable element: "Is there even a need to ask? She loves you, and you love her too."

"What if I love him and he doesn't love me?"

"It's called unrequited love, also known as chronic suicide." Hu Yingxue threw away the first cigarette butt, snatched the lighter from him without hesitation, and lit a second cigarette for herself. not worth it."

Xiao Chining was taken aback.

"If you fall in love with someone like him, you will go crazy like you." Chen Yu's words echoed in his ears.

"Will it die?"

Hu Yingxue cast a surprised look at him, and asked without answering, "Are you... in unrequited love?"

"No one loves me." Xiao Chi said calmly, affirming in disguise.

Hu Yingxue felt that this was the No. 1 favorite saying of the self-proclaimed literary youth.But Xiao Chining's expression was so serious and lonely that she even believed for a moment that if she was not loved and no one was worthy of love, she would really die.

"Yes." Hu Yingxue stared at him in the swaying night, and unconsciously declared solemnly, "So, if one day I really kill myself, it must not be because of how much I hate, on the contrary, it must be because I can't stop loving."

Xiao Chining forgot how he watched Hu Yingxue get on the bus back to school, forgot how he left the woods, forgot the original intention of going there, forgot the cruelty he witnessed, and only remembered Hu Yingxue's words, stop no love.

He should have realized earlier that, unlike Chi Yan who always gave him a glimmer of hope, Xiao Zhaoshan's murder weapon was to make him question, and finally asked a desperate answer.No matter what, he was going to die.

The cold wind whistled past Xiao Chining's ears, and the angry horn and the driver's insults were thrown far away by him.He recovered from the undiminished love and hatred, and found that he came to "Zhao" on his skateboard again.

He sat down in the old place, looked at the signboard, and looked back on the past 16 years.Undoubtedly, nothing.The culprit turned out to be his biological parents.

The fire had already been extinguished, Xiao Chining held the cigarette butt that had cooled down, and gradually a killing intent similar to that of Hu Yingxue surged up.He understood that the cat must die.

At this moment, he felt the same for his deskmate, but he didn't expect that this was the herald that they would become friends.At that time, all his mind was tied to the gray-green Cayenne turbo speeding past him.

Although he only saw it once at the gate of the community, and only once, he remembered the license plate number clearly without knowing it, even to this day.

Sitting on the skateboard, Xiao Chining watched Cayenne make a neat U-turn at the traffic lights in front of him, then made another U-turn at the entrance of the gallery, circled around and finally stopped in front of him.

The window of the car fell down, just like the scene he saw at the gate of the community when he arrived in Beijing on the first day, Xiao Zhaoshan descended from the sky and said to him: "Get in the car."

Xiao Chining looked up at him, and prayed to the unknown god in his heart: Let them taste the pain of "unrequited love", so that they can't stop hating, can't stop loving, let them also live a life of boredom and abandonment. Incomplete life.

Before he died, Xiao Zhaoshan and Chi Yan should go to hell first.

Xiao Chining got up from the skateboard, opened the car door and got into the passenger seat, smiling sweetly at Xiao Zhaoshan.