After the years have passed

I dare to be so unscrupulous

it's not because you love me

but at least i can survive without you

The sky was getting dark, and Kim Taehyung and I also took a stroll around and came back with a smooth heart.

After dinner, they helped Han Enxue wash the dishes together.

The atmosphere was inexplicably awkward, only the crisp sound of porcelain colliding and running water could be heard.

Han Enxue kept her head slightly lowered, her expression was a little frozen, and she only focused on what she was doing.

But he would glance at her from time to time, washing it carelessly.

"Are there flowers on my face? Keep staring"

Han Enxue's sudden utterance made her feel like a guilty child, and quickly denied, "No, no..."

"Curious about me?"

"... a bit"

"Hee hee...me too"

Han Enxue's raised lips curved into a crescent moon, which was really pretty.

"Are you curious about me too?"

She didn't answer any more, but kept a smile on her face, so I stopped talking.

Returned to the silent situation.

……

Winter nights in the countryside are extraordinarily quiet, as long as there is a breeze, the rustling can be heard very clearly.

After laying out the bedding, Kim Taehyung came out of the bathroom, wiped his hair casually, and fell asleep.

"You'll get a headache like this, let's blow dry first."

I picked up the hair dryer and knelt down in front of him. When I touched his forehead, I felt a little hot.

Frowning, he asked worriedly, "Why are you uncomfortable?"

"It's okay, I may have caught a cold, just take a nap"

"Get up quickly, I'll help you dry your hair, and then take some medicine before going to sleep"

He nodded, sat up obediently, lowered his head, and narrowed his eyes slightly.

After a little tossing, he lay down, snoring a little, and fell asleep peacefully.

The bathroom outside has been occupied by Han Enxue for more than an hour, and I don't have the nerve to urge her, so I have to wait patiently.

Unconsciously, he fell asleep on the sofa, and when he woke up again, he was covered with a thick blanket, and the lights in the whole room were turned to the darkest.

Taking small steps, she tiptoed to the room, only to find that the door was half-closed, and through the moonlight outside the window, two human figures could be vaguely seen, very intimate.

It was Han Eun-sul, covering Kim Tae-hyung's lips with his mouth, and they were entangled together with a sweet sound.

Standing at the door, I held my breath and stared at the scene in front of me, in disbelief.

"I love you"

It was Han Enxue's fiery voice that could melt the entire snow.

"I love you too……"

Without the slightest hesitation, Kim Taehyung's gentle bass sounded like countless needles piercing the skin and reaching the deepest part of the blood vessel.

It got into Han Enxue's affectionate ears, but it made me feel unbearably painful!

He desperately covered his mouth, his pupils were already widened to the maximum, and the corners of his trembling lips were soaked with the tears pouring out of his eyes.

All hopes seemed to collapse in an instant like a torrent that broke the embankment!

I love you too……

I love you too……

I love you too!

……

My mind seemed to be bombarded by countless bombs one after another, I could no longer think, and ran like crazy.

Until he was so tired that all his nerves were paralyzed, he could no longer move, and suddenly fell down.

Exhaling heavily, the white mist spread out from the eyes round after round, condensed into frost, hit the face, joined the teardrops, and dripped into the soil.

what is this?What are you?

So what if you pay 30 years of life?What is not your own will eventually be taken away.

The person Kim Taehyung loves will never be me!

He was just a substitute, and before that person came back to his side, the shameless substitute was still enjoying himself.

It's just that she was controlled, forced, and manipulated by the dream woman, so she got the favor.

However, in the face of true love, it is vulnerable to a single blow.

I should have known it long ago, I should have known it long ago, I have to leave sooner or later, what is the difference between now and three years later?

Ah!It's so ridiculous.

When the sky turned gray again, I was already on the train back to Seoul.

……

December 2th, heavy snow

After that night, I only sent one ins to Kim Taehyung, which said don't look for me again.

These few days I lived in my father’s newly rented house, and Ben didn’t take all the things in the apartment, so he could only wear the old clothes that his father had brought back.

The mobile phone is turned off, all contact with the outside world is cut off, and the nest is nestled in the room. I don't know whether it is day or night. I only know how to wake up, eat when I wake up, and lie back on the bed after eating.

My father didn't ask me too much, he just took care of some flowers and plants every day, and also cooked delicious food. Occasionally, when he passed the living room, he could notice him reading intently with a book in his hand.

There were no wine bottles on the ground, and there were also fewer cigarettes. My father had changed so much that I almost forgave him. I almost felt that all the unsightly things I did in the past could disappear in smoke.

After dinner, I also forgot to wash up, and went straight to the bed again, under the quilt, and I didn't get up until late at night.

He changed into a white shirt, shorts, and a coat, and wandered around the bar.

It has been too many years since I have felt this kind of atmosphere where I don’t need to control my heart. The strong DJ dance music makes all the cells expand, boiling, beating the heart, and I can forget about it.

From the moment I entered the door, I took off my coat. Because the shirt belonged to him, it looked very big, and it was V-neck. It was to deliberately seduce those malicious eyes.

"Miss, it should be the first time here."

A middle-aged man with a flattering face sat beside me with two glasses of wine.

"Yes so what? No so what?"

"If not, can I play with you?"

"Okay, what are you playing?"

The middle-aged man saw me so straightforward, and his expression became even more excited, "I'll tell you after I drink this drink"

Squinting his eyes slightly, squinting at the glass in his hand, he instinctively resisted, but he didn't know that it was glamorous and bewitching in the eyes of others.

He stretched out his hand, raised his glass, and drank it all in one gulp.

The yellowish transparent liquid flowed down the throat and into the stomach, accompanied by the strong smell of alcohol, and the sweetness that was spoken, which stimulated the whole nerves, and suddenly became excited.

"Yo! The lady has a good drinker"

The middle-aged man clapped his hands and smiled with satisfaction, the creases at the corners of his eyes were of different shades.

"Can I have another drink?"

"Hahaha...Okay, Akon, I'm taking the bottle. From now on, as long as this lady orders, I will credit it all."

"Yes, Mr. Park"

Then I turned my head and looked at this man with interest. He should be about forty years old. He was wearing a bright blue suit, which seemed to be of good quality, with a bow tie, oily hair, and a pair of glasses. The box, from time to time exudes a burst of perfume smell, which smells bad, but it's not bad.

He looked like a gentle scum.

"Come on! Miss, let's continue drinking"

I responded with a charming smile, and the next thing I did was to drink one cup after another non-stop. I never knew that it turns out that the capacity for alcohol is so good, no matter how much I drink, I still don’t get drunk, but instead become more sober.

The figure of Kim Taehyung appeared more and more frequently in my mind, no matter how much I drank it, I couldn't get it off, it was still full of his face, his arms, his lips...

……

Apartment C

It's only been a few days, but the house is messy and messy, but the man who is leaning against the corner is even more decadent.

"boom!"

With a loud noise, the door was kicked open, and several familiar figures rushed in.

The broken hair on the forehead blocked Kim Taehyung's sight, and he couldn't see clearly, so he moved his eyes away again.

"Brother Taehyung! How long are you going to look like this? The holiday is coming to an end, and if Fang PD finds out, you'll be out of luck again."

It was Tian Jungkook's voice, full of reproach and worry.

"Ouba! Can you wake up?"

Han Enxue squatted on the ground, covering Kim Taehyung's head with both hands, shaking vigorously, tears falling down.

"Taihu~ Let's get up first, eat something first, if there is anything else, we can talk about it later, okay?"

Park Jimin stepped forward and grabbed Kim Taehyung, and walked to the living room.

After taking two steps, he shook off his hand and fell to the ground again.

"Axi! What on earth do you want, kid?"

Park Jimin really couldn't stand it anymore, he kicked him a little harder, Kim Taehyung didn't seem to feel the pain, and still sat indifferently.

"Ouba! Oppa is obedient, okay? I know, I know you are worried about little Sioni, but you only have the strength to look for it after eating, right? I believe she will not go far."

Kim Taehyung raised his head abruptly as if he had caught some life-saving straw, "She won't go far? You know where she is, right?"

"No, I don't know... I'm just guessing"

"I don't know? I don't know why you say that?"

"I... I just saw that little Sioni's things are still here? It proves that she must still be in Seoul and not return to China."

The starlight that had just been ignited in Kim Taehyung's eyes turned dim once again.

"but……"

"But what?"

The suddenly outstretched hands clamped Han Enxue fiercely, causing a muffled sound from her shoulders.

"... I think, I just said it seemed, in the middle of the night last night, because I was meeting with friends, on the way back, I passed a bar, and I seemed to see it, I saw it..."

"See who? Tell me quickly!"

The anger in Kim Taehyung's eyes was like an inflated balloon, which would explode if touched lightly.

"...Little Sioney"

Han Enxue bit her lips tightly, enduring all the negative emotions of the person in front of her, and let the hard fingers pinch her shoulder bone deeply, causing bursts of pain.

"bar name"

"L"

After getting the answer, Kim Taehyung seemed to calm down instantly, stood up, passed all the people, and went into the bathroom.

When he came out again, he had already showered, and the tips of his hair were still dripping with water. His bangs covered his face, so he couldn't see his expression clearly.

"Ouba, let me blow dry your hair"

Han Enxue just touched the end of her hair, but he quietly dodged it, walked straight into the bedroom, and closed the door.

There are only stiff arms and a disappointed little face.

The other two looked at each other, shook their heads helplessly, and then went back to the dormitory.

Han Enxue stayed alone, cleaned the house, made some food in the kitchen, summoned up her courage, and pushed open the door.

Kim Taehyung was lying on the bed, as if he had fallen asleep, and he didn't want to disturb him any more, he helped him cover his back that was exposed, and then left the room.

Just let him have a good sleep, he probably hasn't closed his eyes for the past few days.

Han Enxue put the prepared meals neatly on the dining table, wrote a note and placed it next to her, then got up and went back to her residence.

……

The night is coming, under the neon lights.

I came to the noisy place again, and continued to be drunk and dreamy.

I have completely forgotten how I got back to my father's house yesterday. I only know that when I woke up, I was lying on the floor of the bedroom, with vomit all around me, and the sour smell was pungent.

"Miss, are you here again?"

It was still the middle-aged man from yesterday.

"Well, aren't you welcome?"

"How come, of course you are welcome, I wish you could come every day"

"Yo~ Aren't you afraid that I'll make you poor?"

"I'm afraid you won't drink enough for me"

"Okay, open a bottle of your most expensive bottle for me."

I fiddled with my fingers carelessly, with a coquettish and lazy voice.

"Akon, can you hear me? Open the bottle."

The next thing is to toast again and again in the dark, raise your head again and again, and pour yourself without any gaps. The time is ticking every minute and every second, but there is no intention of stopping.

And the man next to me seemed to be about to move, approaching me more boldly, and put a hand on my waist unconsciously.

"Snapped!"

The wine splashed all over, accompanied by large particles of glass slag, scattered flowers like fireworks, and screamed again and again.

When I came back to my senses, the man beside me suddenly fell down with his head in his arms, the bright red liquid dripped from between his fingers, and he howled in pain on the ground.

Before he could stand still, he was dragged out of the chaos by a force, running under the endless night lights, the air was filled with snowflakes, patches of coldness, across the cheeks, and through the side of the body.

Wearing high heels, I couldn't hold on for too long, so I stopped, shook off my clenched hands, and my face was frosty.

The person in front of him turned his head and looked into his eyes with indescribable confusion and melancholy.

They looked at each other silently, but after a long time he still spoke first.

"why?"

Unexpectedly, there was no trace of anger in the words, but it seemed to be pleading.

"what why?"

"Why did you leave without saying goodbye? Why did you go to that kind of place? Why did you drink?"

"My pleasure"

"Okay! Since you like it, I'll open one for you!"

"Heh... why? Are you rich? If I'm not mistaken, the idol group seems to be the lowest existence in your Korean entertainment circle, right?"

The sarcasm in the words made even himself startled unconsciously.

"So I'm so worthless in your heart?"

"No! It's still worth playing"

I showed an innocent and harmless smile, like a child.

But his frown became more and more obvious, and his eyes were cold.

This is the first time I've seen his gloomy face, but it's haughty and indifferent, and I can't help feeling terrified when I see it.

"So is it enough now?"

"Well, tired"

Jin Taehyung's pupils were gradually locked, and gradually darkened, until he could no longer see a gleam of luster, only coldness remained, which was more penetrating than the heavy snow that filled the sky.

After a long time, he turned around and slowly disappeared at the end of the road, and during this time, he never looked back even once.

He completely left that bleak little figure behind, and wept bitterly in the city shrouded in pure white.

After all, I was discarded...