Late ripening

Jing Yan hid on the balcony where no one was around, and waited until Lu Qian disappeared from sight before he dared to make this call.

"I don't mean anything else. It's just that...you've worked very hard here. You should have piled up a lot of work that requires business trips, right? You can go home."

He said every word for Lu Qian's good, but both of them could hear the hidden meaning in his words.

He still wanted to hide, even though he promised Lu Qian to start again, Jing Yan always felt that there were not so many opportunities to restart in life.How do things in the past come to an end?And who is to judge.

"Let's not talk about this on the phone, we'll talk about it tonight." Lu Qian said in a cold voice before hanging up.Jing Yan stood outside for a while, feeling more exhausted than after the physical examination in the morning, so he dragged his body to the dormitory.

Afternoon class was over, Jing Yan prevaricated his roommate with a few words and walked out of the school with his bag on his back.Lu Qian's car was still parked at noon, as if it hadn't been moved all afternoon.

As soon as he walked over, Lu Qian opened the door for him. "Get in the car. It's not time for dinner yet, why don't you go for a walk?"

Jing Yan got into the car, before he fastened his seat belt, Lu Qian came over.He thought that the other party was going to kiss him, and his body became a little stiff for some reason.However, Lu Qian just moved closer and adjusted the seat for him.

"Is this position more comfortable? I remember you liked this angle before."

You liked this angle before, but now you don’t want to adjust it, as if you don’t care about anything, and you don’t care about anything.

Lu Qian drove aimlessly, he didn't know where he was going, he just turned randomly at the intersection of traffic lights.

"Didn't you go back to the hotel this afternoon?" Jing Yan wanted to say something else first.Lu Qian remained expressionless and didn't look at him, "Yeah."

He stopped at a place where he could temporarily park, and the brakes were a little abrupt, Jing Yan leaned over.

"What you said at noon, do you want to drive me back?"

Jing Yan knew that he had misunderstood, and explained some words inappropriately. "I'm not chasing you...I think it's more convenient for you to go back to work, and we also..."

He thought what he said was reasonable, but Lu Qian interrupted him unceremoniously.

"You want to say that I have succeeded now, and I can go back to do my work after my goal is achieved. In your heart, I came here to lie to you again, right?"

Jing Yan blinked, even though he used inappropriate words, in a corner of his heart he had to admit that he thought so.

Lu Qian forced himself to hold his breath, his hands trembling slightly when he placed them where Jing Yan couldn't see. "Stop talking about what it's for me, just say what you think."

The car became quiet, and the busy traffic outside had nothing to do with them.Jing Yan pierced his nails into his palms to wake himself up. It was very difficult but he expressed himself very seriously.

"When I came to Beijing, I originally wanted to try to live independently. Even if we are together again now, I still want to live alone."

He squeezed his hands, and no longer cared whether Lu Qian would be happy after hearing this, this was what he had to say, and it was even the prerequisite for the two of them to be together.

"As long as you are by my side, I will never really grow up. I am 20 years old, but it is almost the same as when I was a child. Can you spend your whole life..."

Jing Yan couldn't say the rest, but he believed that Lu Qian could understand.

This may be the escape route he left for himself, and it is a cooling-off period for the two of them. At the same time, I hope that Lu Qian can understand the deeper meaning.

Lu Qian has been listening with folded hands, going through word by word in his mind like reviewing a report in a usual meeting.Jing Yan's tone was very sincere, and his eyes were also very sincere, as if he was discussing with him, but it was more of a notification.

"Got it, let me think about it." Lu Qian put down these words and started the car.

Even under such a stalemate, Lu Qian did not forget the time. "Go to eat first." Without giving Jing Yan a chance to refute, he took him to a herbal restaurant.

Sitting in the private room, Lu Qian's face was also gloomy, and when the waitress came to order, he didn't dare to say a word.But Lu Qian hasn't forgotten to give Jing Yan something to eat according to the doctor's order.

Another table of light and nourishing dishes, Jing Yan drank the soup with a bitter face, and began to miss the box of instant noodles in the dormitory.

After dinner, Jing Yan didn't insist on going back to the dormitory, and silently followed Lu Qian to the hotel.

He didn't know how long Lu Qian thought about it, or if he was thinking about it, because his face looked really bad.Without saying a word, let him play with his mobile phone on the sofa, wash fruit for him without saying a word, and let him take a bath and sleep without saying a word.

It wasn't until late at night, when Jing Yan pretended to sleep in the same position that his feet were almost numb, that he felt Lu Qian gently get up from the bed, rummaged through something in his bag, and pushed the door to go out.

Jing Yan opened his eyes, and involuntarily touched the part on the other side of the bed that still had his body temperature.

After waiting for a while, he finally came back, the door of the cubicle was closed, it was hard to hear clearly, Jing Yan didn't know what he was doing outside, feeling depressed, he pushed the door with bare feet.

Lu Qian sat on the sofa outside and looked out the window, his back was bleak under the night.Jing Yan walked over and knelt on the sofa, hugging him from the side.

This posture is actually not very comfortable, but he doesn't know how else to make Lu Qian feel better, this may be the only thing he can do.

He smelled of cigarettes, his fingers were cold, and his voice was cold. "I promise you, I will leave you here alone, and I will go back next week."

Jing Yan hugged him tightly, gritted his teeth and didn't speak, and tried his best to hold back his tears.Lu Qian put his hands on his, touched him, and let him lie in his arms.

"But Mrs. Yu has to come here, you still live in the school, you can only see her every day when you eat." His hand reached into Jing Yan's hair and touched his earlobe, "Otherwise, I really don't feel relieved. "

Jing Yan was lying on his lap with her face buried in his waist, trying to raise her head to look at him but was held down by Lu Qian.

"You can't take this matter as your retreat, don't have the idea that you will feel better if we separate after this period of time." He hugged Jing Yan and let him stick to his heart, Listen for the throbbing in your chest.

"Like you said, we're equals now. We're independent, but I'll never let you go. You give yourself some confidence and give me some too, okay?"

He knew that Jing Yan spoke tactfully, but his attitude was firm.This was a decision he had to respect, otherwise he might never be able to get close to him again.

"Go to sleep." Lu Qian told Jing Yan to go back to bed, and he didn't intend to move. "Aren't you going to sleep..." Jing Yan sat pulling the quilt, feeling that the bed was too big.

Lu Qian shook his head, "I smell like cigarettes all over my body, I'm going to take a shower."

When he came out after washing, Jing Yan still kept that posture.As soon as he lay down, Jing Yan automatically retracted into his arms, and the bridge of his nose hit his strong chest muscles, sore.

On the day Lu Qian went back, Jing Yan was not sent to see them off. Jing Yan opened their chat history, and Lu Qian ordered one after another, but refused to let him go to the airport.

"The house is rented next to your school. The key is in your bag. Mrs. Yu will be there the day after tomorrow." He called before taking off, and Jing Yan wrote it down.

The breaths of the two people on the phone intertwined, "You..." Jing Yan started, not knowing what to say.

Lu Qian's voice on the other end was steady, and he couldn't hear how reluctant or panicked he was, "I will always miss you." After he said this, he didn't hang up, Jing Yan pursed his lips, knowing what he was waiting for.

"I'll miss you too." He gave Lu Qian a small promise.

He really started his life alone.Mrs. Yu scolded him for a long time when she came here, and she was angry almost from the first time she saw him.Jing Yan acted like a baby like before, but she still wanted to call him a little white-eyed wolf whenever she thought about it.

I don't know how Lu Qian told Mrs. Yu, although she would repeat how thin he was every day when she delivered meals, she never specifically asked him to live in the rented house, and never cared too much about helping him in other ways.

He did everything by himself. He changed several buses to go to another campus far away to participate in activities, did experiments until late at night and then walked back to the dormitory by himself, contacted new classmates, and even quarreled with roommates because of trivial matters.It was a shame to say that these other people had experienced and accomplished things early on, and he was only now learning.

Without relying on anyone, he saw some very small landscapes by himself.On the weekend, I went to the Forbidden City with a crowd of tourist groups. One night, I suddenly wanted to go to the night queue in *** to watch the national flag raising. I forgot to bring my mobile phone and didn’t take a picture. I bought a porcelain bowl that looked like an imitation.

If Lu Qian were to arrange these things for him, he would be calm and beautiful, without spending so much time and effort.But what others lead you to see will always belong to others.

He and Lu Qian didn't talk on the phone often, only on weekend nights.It was always quiet over there, he guessed that Lu Qian had probably been working overtime in the office.

But he didn't know how long before Lu Qian would return home for the two phone calls every week, listen to his voice attentively in the place that belonged to the two of them, and sometimes even record it.

Jing Yan gradually started to talk a lot about himself, instead of asking around him like before, Lu Qian felt disappointed, but felt that this was very good.

Everything was going according to Jing Yan's wishes, but he never took the initiative to say what he missed, and always said Lu Qian first when he was about to hang up, and he would add something hastily and in a low voice.

This situation seriously deepened Lu Qian's sense of insecurity, he was like a wild animal that was forced into a cage, unable to go out without Jing Yan's permission.He tried his best to hide his emotions so as not to add any burden to Jing Yan.

Towards the end of the term, Song Bo invited Jing Yan to dinner, and the two of them hadn't seen each other for a long time.

"Lu Qian didn't sneak over here again?"

Jing Yan shook his head, and Song Bo sighed, "He can bear it. Did you know he contacted me before he left?"

Jing Yan was very surprised, he thought Lu Qian hated Song Bo very much.

"He said that although he hates me, I am the only person who knows you here. He is afraid that something will happen to you and refuses to tell him, so that I can help you if he can't come over in time."

Song Bo shook the ice cubes in the glass and curled his lips, "I think he's a good candidate for a father, but it's fine to be a boyfriend."

Jing Yan couldn't help laughing at what he said, Song Bo looked at him, "You're happy after I told you, and you like him even more, don't you? Then I knew I wouldn't tell you."

"No." After Jing Yan laughed, he flipped through his phone, counting his days off.

He seemed to miss him a little bit.