[Comprehensive] They forced me to die

It was that crazy girl again, she died, Alice watched those people in white coats push her body into the narrow box, calmly and naturally.

Where is McCoff?

Why didn't I see him?

Oh, the girl suddenly realized that he is too busy, and now is the critical period for whether he can take the position.

But she is dead!

That was her only friend in this hospital. She also told herself that she was going home and her illness would be cured. She just wanted to like to imagine.

Will McCoff come?

She is so sad.

Those people at the hospital took all her things and burned them.

No!Please leave me something, she is my friend.

Where is McCoff?I need his help, those people think I'm a psycho, they don't listen to me.

Oh, he is too busy.

I never blamed anyone for being locked up here, yes, I killed someone, but that girl didn't kill someone, why did she die?

I snuck one of her books, Sewing?

"Why read a sewing book?"

"She can't use it at all."

She gently opened the heavy sewing book, which contained a large series of dense and delicate fonts.

I got depression and I can't go back.

These two lines seem to have taken a lot of effort, and in the end...she died.

There was a line of small writing beside it, but Alice didn't see it. She said that the book was buried in the tree ground, and no one could see everything about the girl again.

"Alice, I did my greatest struggle, I saved myself on the verge of giving up countless times, and I failed."

"Maybe my words are nothing in the eyes of others, but I am in my own world, I am my own hero, and I hope you are too."

Alice scratched her hair in pain, and a circle of bandages was roughly torn off. With the pain of tearing, she covered her cheeks in annoyance and wept silently.

"People are born to suffer."

Later, Alice moved out of the student apartment. Before she left, she took a look at You Hill. She was standing under the tree in front of the door, wearing a suspenders, with a cigarette in her mouth, but she ignored her.

"Life is painful." Like a vine hovering in her mind, tightly pulling her hair, large bottles of beer rolled down on the bed floor, stench, sweat, until the depression quietly and slowly Find her.

She started to stay out at night, anyway, even if she went back, she would be alone after all.

She fell in love with drugs, which made her feel like she could stop somewhere, relax, and forget about everything.Learning to wear revealing clothes, smoking an unknown brand of cigarettes, twisting her ass on the dance floor, and hearing someone whistling from time to time, until she saw a scar on her face, she turned her head and ignored it.

So she learned to put on a mask, boldly attached to the strange man's body and blew in his ear.

"Sorry, I can't hear you"

The music in the bar was loud and explosive, and everyone fell into this intense and crazy lust.

"Beauty, maybe we should find a secluded place."

"Oh, of course."

"This mask, ignore it."

Kiss... from neck to mouth to eyes.The warm voice, the light-colored... eyes, there is no lack of faint ripples... Mycroft...

"Stop."

"No, I can't help it."

The man hurriedly grabbed those troublesome hands, and impatiently leaned towards him.

"I said stop."

The woman in the mask put her foot on the man's thigh, and ran down the street with a hazy drunkenness.

The lights are flickering, colorful, tall buildings.

"Where is my home?"

"He's getting married."

Alice squatted on the road, suddenly felt a nausea in her stomach, and hurriedly leaned over and vomited wildly.

"Those who love me are dead, and those I love are dead."

"What is life?"

"mistake."

"Wow...God, so it's all wrong, everything about me is wrong..." She covered her face and cried, crying on the street from time to time, and passers-by hurried past her.

"Another psychopath who is trapped by love."

"Young people today."

"Looks like a foreigner..."

……

Darkness, pain, debauchery, entanglement from the beginning, struggle from the beginning, ignore it, the same as before, but it's there.

Headache, you think it's temporary and it'll pass, there's just one bad thing, no!What a day!

She needed a medicine to forget the pain, and she was stuck in this state, and in the end even the simplest things became crying.

Drugs, drugs... can't stop.

Forgot what motivation is, never went to school again, no friends, no... family, let alone him, destroying all relationships, ashamed of what she did, ashamed of what she didn't do, she wanted to put Everything is corrected back to the right track, come on, it can only sink deeper, and finally choose to stay in a safe space, no one will ask yourself questions, no one will bother you.

The sense of self-identity at the bottom made her unbearable day by day. The funds in the account were greatly reduced every day. Every day she woke up with a bottle of water, and there were one after another syringe lying scattered on the floor. Can smell a strong smell of alcohol.

Let go, don't think about it anymore, but why do you feel the corners of your eyes are sore, and tears flow down inexplicably.

A month later, life was still going on, and she returned to school. Although she knew that they might not expect much from her, Alice still greeted them very friendly.

Yu Xier just glanced at her, then walked away with her small satchel on her back.

Chen Lijun looked at Alice blankly, and comforted her with some embarrassment: "Don't be like this, she is just like that."

Alice forced a smile.

When will that arrogant and dissolute Japanese lady have someone to speak for her.

"You have a good relationship with her?"

"I……"

Chen Lijun stood in front of Alice somewhat precariously, before she could say anything, a hearty voice interrupted their conversation.

"Li Jun."

The boy was wearing a sports top, shorts, and sneakers as always, and the sun was shining as always, which made Alice think of the sentence that if we meet, it's just like seeing each other for the first time.

"Hey, let's go to dinner and meet your roommate, where is she?"

The other girl next to him seemed completely oblivious.

Chen Lijun smiled reluctantly, and very affectionately took out his handkerchief to wipe the sweat off the boy's face.

"She is?"

Alice looked at him coldly, smiled, and walked away.

Chen Lijun's complaints were vaguely heard behind him.

"That's Alice."

"How did she get so thin?"

The boy frowned.

"I don't know either~"

Long-term drug injections and unrestrained nightlife made Alice lose weight suddenly.

Her skin also became dark yellow and rough. Alice stared blankly at her pale self in front of the mirror. Her eyes were empty and empty, like a pool of stagnant water. How did she make herself like this? Just because no one wants to love yourself?

Is it because you love what you don't get?

Such a terrible person, who would love her?

Alice let out a big breath, held on to the handle on the side, and leaned against the sink in a daze. After a long time, there was an impatient knock on the door outside. She took a breath and opened the door. Leave the bathroom.

Her drug use was like a tornado, hitting the entire campus, and she received serious warnings from her instructors, who even wanted to send her to rehab.

Alice firmly stated that she did not take drugs, even if taking drugs is actually not a big deal in a foreign country, it was just for fun, and wrote a guarantee.

But after half a month, she was forced to stop the course.

Unable to go to the classroom, she hid in a corner of the library, and sometimes when she became addicted, she took out a syringe from her pocket.

She enjoys this feeling, although she is very worried that her funds will become more and more difficult to support her current life, but when a tube of injection is injected into her body, the feeling of floating is like an unformed baby sitting on the ground. On the mother's placenta, the amniotic fluid, blood, and heartbeat warm her, and she likes that feeling.

She thought about, just in that small room, experiencing the feeling of drunkenness and dreams, until she died of exhaustion, but she still chose to be in a crowded place, with a stimulating feeling, maybe in her heart, there is still a Strength, how she wished for someone to appear like a god, embrace herself, and save her. Maybe it was because of this incredible idea that she ran into the crowd like a crazy person.

It doesn’t matter if you are treated as a pervert, it doesn’t matter if you are treated as a psycho, I am already a neuropath, it doesn’t matter if I am treated as a plague, I just don’t want to be alone.

As usual, when the library first opened, she walked into the campus. She didn't like to go in when there were many people, because of her skinny face, terrible scars, and her status as a drug addict on the notorious campus , Thinking about it, I know that I will be criticized. It is better to go in when there is no one, than to be regarded as a monkey in the zoo.

Saying this may be a bit insulting to the monkey, but maybe she can be used as a negative example for teenagers, and that must be good.

Maybe it was because of her long-term drug use, although she didn't sleep much, she didn't feel sleepy at all. She looked very energetic, if one ignored the sunken face.

On both sides of the tree, a black Mercedes-Benz slowly stopped in front of her. Alice subconsciously froze, and stood there stupidly until the door opened.

The author has something to say: Mycroft is coming out...