HP told my dad to hit you after school

Snape, a novice in love, got out of the singles on Valentine's Day, and his object is No.1 on the Hogwarts goddess list.

While he was so happy that he couldn't sleep, he began to worry deeply.

...By the way, how do you talk about love?

The old single bat felt that this was a deeply philosophical question.

When he was a student, he almost never paid attention to the dogs around him showing affection, and devoted himself to his studies.Even when he maintained his secret love for Lily, he didn't dare to imagine what would happen if they were together.

After becoming a professor, he gained a lot of experience.

...the experience of dismantling couples.

So Snape thought about it seriously.

Every major festival is the harvest season for catching couple dogs.After the curfew, he only needs to go around the gate of the castle and the observatory a few times, and he can catch the stupid couple who are trying to go to the Forbidden Forest to enjoy the wind, go to the Astronomy Tower to watch the stars, or go to the black lake at night to watch the sparkling water.etc.

Refreshing every time he deducts points!

Also, in potions class, when partners cook potions together, couples will find ways to get together and touch little hands while handling the ingredients.

Refreshing every time he forcibly takes them apart and deducts 20 points!

It would be even better if it was a Gryffindor couple. Those unrestrained souls can kiss together anytime and anywhere, and you can meet a couple in secret passages wherever you go.

Whenever he reminded the boys: "Don't visit the Astronomy Tower at night with XXX (the name of the ex-girlfriend) last time I saw you were so fierce, I was sorry to disturb you" and then turned around and left, listening to the girl's screaming and screaming. The crisp sound of love slapped him refreshed!

...Snape found that he was more suitable for burning love than falling in love.

He turned over, sat up on the bed, and took out the X-note and the Marauder's Map from under the pillow.

Clicking on the map, seeing Isa's Xing Xing staying in the dormitory, he opened X-note, and turned to the newly developed forum, the school forum.

There are still many teenagers who can't sleep in the water altar late at night.

Snape poked open the "Emotional World" page, and saw [Balala Xiaomoxian] and [Male God] imparting love experience on the front page as expected, and the single dogs in the building were crying and begging for God Guidance to help get out of the order.

He really can't ask someone in reality how to fall in love.Then just ask anonymously in the forum.

He first thought of [Balala Xiaomoxian] and [Male God].

These two are the well-deserved love leaders of the emotional version.Xiao Moxian is an expert in girls' relationship, and the male god is a master at flirting with girls.

This was given to him by Everian, who successfully left the order after being guided by Xiao Moxian.

He dawdled for a while before asking Avery if he had Xiaomoxian's cross number.At that time, Avery looked at him inscrutably for a while, then patted him on the shoulder, and said earnestly:

"I bet five Sickles on the side where you can get Isabella, brother, don't let me down! The odds are ten to one!"

don't wait!How did you find out that he was interested in Isha!

And the odds of ten to one are too scary!

Don't you guys have so little confidence that he can be with Isha? !

So which banker is Hudan, he wants to kill him, hey!

In the end, he successfully initiated a conversation with Xiao Moxian.

private chat

[Anonymous]: hello

Balala Xiaomoxian: Hey, hello, you still don’t go to bed after the lights are off, you’re too worried to sleep, right?

(Snape smelled a strong old driver's smell on Xiao Moxian just from this greeting)

[Anonymous]: I have some emotional issues that I would like to ask you for advice. Could you please give me some guidance?

Balala Xiaomoxian: Don't be so serious, young man~ Don't worry and say hello boldly.By the way, are you a boy or a girl?Do you like the same sex or the opposite sex?First let me say that I am only good at romance and pure love, I usually don’t know how to do lily

[Anonymous]: ...I'm a man and I like girls

Balala Xiaomoxian: The classic question type www is good, if you have any questions, please ask!

[Anonymous]: That's right, I'm with the girl I like today.But I am my first love, and she should be too. I don't know how to manage my relationship.

We really like each other, and I seriously want to go on with her and go on forever.But there are many hidden dangers between us, so I am very worried.

Balala Xiaomoxian: My god, that's awesome, classmate!Valentine's Day out of singles!It's still a double C setting!This is a classic campus romance!The group of dogs who came to me for consultation before, one by one, they were so sloppy, their mothers may not be able to handle their ex-girlfriends, but they came to me. I said to myself that you are a scumbag, and you are my suggestion!

Okay, I will answer the question of the innocent first love boy in the middle of the night (sit well

[Anonymous]: Then let me briefly describe it.

We have been good friends since the first grade, until now.

She is excellent in all aspects, beautiful, smart, kind and enthusiastic.I don't think I can match her type, but today I just found out that she has also liked me for several years, so we are together.

My personality is very bad, but she has been tolerant of me before.I'm worried that the change in relationship will make my character worse and make it unbearable for her.

Balala Xiaomoxian: Oh, huh.

Balala Xiaomoxian: Immediate Sense of Sight

Balala Xiaomoxian: It's not me, big brother, there must be a reason why a girl has liked you for several years, and being able to bear it for a few years shows that it is true love!

Think about it, is it cheaper to break up when you are friends, or is it cheaper to break up when you are in love?

When we are friends, I can tolerate you and like you. After being your girlfriend, the relationship and relationship will only be stronger!

But if you realize that you have a bad personality, then change it!For the sake of the girl, I have to change it!

[Anonymous]: Okay, thanks.

Also, she is actually relatively well-known in the school, and her background is also very noble.In the eyes of outsiders, I am not right with her.I worry that we will meet resistance from the outside world.

Because she actually cares about other people's opinions, and her father loves her very much. I once heard him say that he doesn't want to see his daughter get married.

Balala Xiaomoxian: ...Oh my god, there are family background factors!

Let me ask you first, if all these resistances happened, would you give up first?

[Anonymous]: I'm afraid she will be hurt.

Balala Xiaomoxian: I'm asking you.

Assuming that your daughter is strong enough to resist everything and eat and drink as she pleases, will you not be able to resist being poked and prodded and propose a breakup first?

[Anonymous]: No.

Even if the whole world scolds me and hates me, I won't.

Balala Xiaomoxian: ...It's a great thing to have such confidence w

So, have you communicated with your girlfriend about this?

[Anonymous]: She said she didn't care.She said let's go underground first, then she slowly convinced her dad

Balala Xiaomoxian: .

Balala Xiaomoxian: Mist grass?

Balala Xiaomoxian: Wait a minute, I have something to do here.

[1973.2-14.23: 13]

Balala Xiaomoxian: OK, let's continue

Balala Xiaomoxian: Then you are so entangled!Let's talk!Why are you hesitating like this? ?Do not trust her! ?I don't trust you guys to figure this out! ?

Even with this confidence, there is no love affair! ! !

[Anonymous]: ...I just want to protect her.

Balala Xiaomoxian: Do you know that not being together hurts her more? !

What are you?Want to be a lone hero who can carry everything?Do you think being a lone hero is cool? !Did you know that you're super self-righteous for doing this!

Then tell me why you want to break up because you don't want her to be hurt, and I will hang you on the wall of the forum! ! !

[Anonymous]: Well, okay.I didn't think carefully.

Then there is only one question left.

I loved another girl before, not her.I would give almost everything for that girl, and she sees it all.

She and that girl are also good friends.Now I only think of that girl as my sister.

I want to ask, will she have any diaphragm or other discomfort?

i don't want for my sake

Balala Xiaomoxian: Stop, stop, stop, I can't stand it anymore

Balala Xiaomoxian: How can there be such an emotional idiot like you? My brother

Balala Xiaomoxian: As long as you don't try to kill yourself and rekindle your old relationship, she won't hate you, OK?

Balala Xiaomoxian: And you can't tell if they are really good friends?

Balala Xiaomoxian: Don't you know that the friendship between girls is so strong that even if you two break up, they will still be affectionate?

[Anonymous]: Oh, so.

Balala Xiaomoxian: ...... capitalized convinced.

[Anonymous]: I really don't know how to deal with emotional issues.

Balala Xiaomoxian: In this way, whenever you have any emotional knots in the future, tell me, will it work?I am usually online 24 hours a day, answering all questions.

An emotional idiot like you who also likes to make up your mind is dangerous!

I teach you a trick of picking up girls every day, and use it completely on your girl ticket. Don't take advantage of other girls, okay?

[Anonymous]: Thank you so much.

Balala Xiaomoxian: Wait for her at the door of the dormitory tomorrow morning, and go to have breakfast together hand in hand.

tell her:

Balala Xiaomoxian: As soon as I saw you, I had a premonition that I would be happy all day.

[Anonymous]: Mmmmm

Balala Xiaomoxian: Or: Good morning, my princess.

[Anonymous]: It's kind of...

Balala Xiaomoxian: Don't be shy when you fall in love! ! !I can't afford to talk about love!

[Anonymous]: OK!I will definitely use it.

Balala Xiaomoxian: Well, it’s almost midnight, and I fell asleep.By the way, don't forget to say good night to your girlfriend, no matter how late it is!

[Anonymous]: OK!So thanks again!Good night!Sweet dreams!

Balala Xiaomo Fairy: Ann

private chat

Half-Blood Prince (Note: My Professor)

[New signature: happiness]

I hold pure white (remark: her)

[New signature: Explosion QwQ]

Half-Blood Prince: Good night, Isa, and sweet dreams.

On the morning of February 2th, Snape got up early and went to the common room to wait for Isa to come out of the girls' dormitory.

Although his heart was so nervous that his palms were sweating on the morning of February, when he saw the blonde girl appearing next to her, that beautiful girl with long black hair couldn't help but smile when he saw him. Girl, he couldn't help laughing.

Falling in love is really scary. When his self-control lost its function and his legs moved involuntarily, leading him to meet Isa, he alerted himself in a trance. Time was thrown away very lightly.

He only saw her smiling, at eye level with him, and her slightly amber black eyes were full of his reflection who was nervous and foolishly happy.

He opened his mouth, without any difficulty, and said smoothly:

"Good morning."

His ears burned, but he was happier to see her blush.

"My princess."

Isha couldn't sleep last night.

After Madam Pomfrey chased them out of the hospital wing, she and Snape dawdled back to the dormitory, holding hands.

After bidding farewell in the common room, Yisha strode back to the dormitory, and as soon as the dormitory door was closed, she soared into the air, flying around the ceiling of the dormitory excitedly with the method of volley flying taught by her father, until Narcissa couldn't bear it anymore. Only after the pillow had knocked her off did she jump onto the bed and announce—

"Now I am also a successful Mary Su fan heroine!"

"I'm charging now too!"

"I can finally enjoy the half price of the second cup hahahahahaha!!!"

Then the girls chatted on Isa's bed until eleven o'clock, exchanging details about her relationship with Snape, and Narcissa shyly revealed a little about her love experience.

When Epra and Scarlett heard that this matter had to be kept from the Minister of Control, they raised their hands and vowed never to tell it.

As a result, on a whim, Narcissa was about to confess about the assist team, when Yisha's chakra book under the pillow rang "Dididi".

Narcissa shut up just in time.She suddenly felt that if she sold the assist team, Snape would kill them in a fit of rage, one by one according to the list of members on the group list.

Isa opened the book with a squinting toad wearing black-rimmed glasses on the cover, turned to the friend application, and found that an anonymous guy applied to add her.

Yisha glanced at the cross number hanging on the book, and found that it was her trumpet specially used to browse the forum to become an Internet celebrity.On the forum, people have been anonymously adding her to chat about emotional issues, so she added it without any psychological burden.

[Anonymous]: hello

The other three girls crawled back to their beds and turned off the lights to sleep.Isara lifted the curtain and replied to the bewildered young man.

Balala Xiaomoxian: Hey, hello, you still don’t go to bed after the lights are off, you’re too worried to sleep, right?

At breakfast, Snape awkwardly spooned the porridge with his left hand because Issa held his right hand under the table.

Isa was chatting nonchalantly with Andromeda across the table, and she was gently stroking Snape's hand under the table.

She lightly touched his fingertips with her fingertips, slowly fitting his neatly trimmed nails along the lines, lightly pressed his fingertips, clasped the pen calluses on his middle finger, and then used her thumbs over and over again. across his palm.

Snape was disturbed by her play, but Isa seemed as if nothing happened, and ate breakfast as usual, but she kept smiling.

When Isa finished the last sip of milk porridge, she finally let go.Snape breathed a sigh of relief, and calmly touched the skin she had just stroked.

Isa packed a horn meal bag for Snape.

"I don't think you eat much." She said with a smirk. "I'm going to study for Muggles. You should study hard and see you at the Forbidden Forest in the next Magical Creatures class!"

Snape took the lunch bag and forgot all the harsh words, he could only say "Goodbye" in a low voice, and then watched Isa run away lightly.

Damn.

I really want to go back to the teacher's bench for dinner.At least it was always Flitwick sitting to his right, and the little Charms Professor couldn't even touch his hand.

......

However, he is also quite...

I love this touch.

Is he suffering from skin hunger?

Ask Balala Xiaomoxian tonight.

(Balala Xiaomoxian: Yes, yes, this disease can only be cured by hugging a girl!)

The author has something to say:

Our school sports meeting today is very interesting.Next time I have a chance to tell you