How many buildings are in the mist

The queen's bedroom is still quiet, but it is raining today, the light is not enough, and the hall is slightly dark.After everyone left, Feng Zihuan still stood in front of Zhu Xianzhi's coffin, silent.With her hands hanging by her sides, she was more silent than ever.She restrained all her imperial temperament, as if entering a secret realm.Talk to Zhu Xianzhi's soul left in the world alone in that secret realm.A few years ago, she could still hear Zhu Xianzhi's voice, but in the past two years, she gradually lost it.She has asked those people who claim to know the art of life and death, as well as eminent monks, and Taoist priests; without exception, the answer she got was that the queen's soul will not stay in the world for a long time, because her strength is gradually exhausted. .And the eminent monk told her very clearly, let the queen go, save more strength to reincarnate, and she can still cast herself into a good family, otherwise...

otherwise?

Otherwise, Your Majesty, the queen will be reincarnated after her soul and energy are exhausted, or she will be born weak, or have a short life.

She didn't speak.

Although she saw Zhu Xianzhi less and less recently, no matter when she was in a daze or dreaming, she still wanted to see her on this annual day.If I lose even today, I lose you forever.I only have memories with you, and the ending of the memories is so miserable.I understand that no matter how much I miss you here, the color and ending of the memory will not change—ah, what secret method or magical skill, I would rather give all this to get you back, to go back in time, but I can’t, no one can ——I can only indulge in this memory.I just have to grab it, you understand?

Sitting opposite Zhu Xianzhi, she saw that Zhu Xianzhi was holding the jade pendant in his hand.It was the jade pendant that I gave her and was buried with her later, do you still keep it?she asked.Zhu Xianzhi raised one eyebrow, with an expression of what kind of joke are you talking about.Yes, if you don’t keep it, why don’t you give it to someone else, she said.Zhu Xianzhi lowered his eyes again.Recently, Fengxu looks more and more like you, and also like Zizhang, alas.Zhu Xianzhi glanced at her.

I know, I didn't say it's bad, I just, after all, I'm also her mother, I don't feel like she's like me, it's a bit regrettable.Zhu Xianzhi looked at her and smiled, shaking his head while laughing.You said I look like a child again, I haven't been a child for a long time, let me be a child with you again.But at this moment Zhu Xianzhi looked at her expression as if he was puzzled, and she immediately added, Fengxi is very good, don't worry, she is just like me, exactly like me, resistant to falls and fights, very smart, except for being too fond of playing, everything good.Zhu Xianzhi smiled brightly, and she followed suit.Others are good, everyone is good, and I am also good.How are you?Zhu Xianzhi nodded, but looked at her, as if he knew she was lying, and wanted to ask.I'm fine, really.What I want to do, I am working hard to do now, there are people who help me, and there are people who talk with me, don't worry.

say?Yes, talk a lot.She gave me a lot of ideas, a lot of good ideas, a lot of things, she can give me advice from another angle, and she can help me do it.No, in addition to government affairs, we also talk about other things.We talked about rainwater and the fineness of the rain; we talked about the birds and beasts in Hualin Garden, and what their chirping sounds might mean; That’s great, I actually always want her to play to me, keep playing to me all the time, but she is not a musician, I am afraid that she will think that I deliberately trample on her identity, so I rarely make such a request, I always ask I dare not ask until the weather is fine and I am in good spirits; the tunes she plays are always sad, and she says it is the way the flute is, but I think it is her heart; we also talk about children, because I Let her be responsible for the guidance of the children's martial arts, and sometimes we also practice martial arts together. After so many years, finally...

She looked at Zhu Xianzhi, Zhu Xianzhi was smiling, the kind of smile she was familiar with for a long time.

Ah, if you want to thank her, I'll pass it on.But, I still miss you very much.I seem to have gotten used to the life without you by my side. Although having one more person adds some joy, without you is without you.When I was young, I used to ask my mother mischievously, why don't you marry one or two more?From the perspective of the royal family's safety in breeding offspring, how can Zizhang and I do it alone?My mother said to me, but my mother doesn’t like others, she won’t like others, and it’s impossible to like others. In my mother’s heart, there is only your queen mother, and she is the only one.Our family is not like other people, unlike those men in the past, the emperor of our family has always favored only one person.So what if there are few offspring?Governance does not depend on simply having a large number of people.

The queen mother is irreplaceable to her, and you are the same to me.Someone once advised me in private, or marry another, or establish another.You also know that Concubine Duan is not my favorite, let alone Xianwan.My heart belongs to nothing, my heart—

Ok?

She looked up, Zhu Xianzhi put his hand on hers and shook his head.

And she smiled wryly.Even if you say you can't, and you don't, how can you stop it? My heart, in my understanding, has already been buried with you?You don't give it back to me, keep it with me, it hurts.

Or do you feel like a burden?

She looked at Zhu Xianzhi, Zhu Xianzhi just sighed, and even sighed silently.

Forget it, why are you talking about these sad things, come and hug me, okay?She saw Zhu Xianzhi stand up and walk in front of her, just like the two in the boudoir many years ago.Zhu Xianzhi stretched out his hand and embraced her in front of his chest.

She leaned forward, and everything immediately turned to dust.

Feng Zihuan opened his eyes and walked out of the bedroom.Walking to the door, he waved to the maids on both sides. The maids understood, saluted her, and entered the bedroom to start cleaning.Cui Xuanji stood on one side with his head lowered. Feng Zihuan looked at her, then turned to look at Zhu Xianzhi's spirit seat, "Let's go."

Feng Zihuan went back to work first, she was in a peaceful mood, or she hadn't had time to recover from the bottom of her sorrow.After being busy for a long time, Cui Yi went to the back hall to be even more quiet, except for the female officials serving Wenmo, only Cui Xuanji stood at the entrance of the hall.After the memorandum was approved, I forgot how long it had been, Feng Zihuan asked the female officer to step down from one side, and sat on the throne by himself, as if he could smell the fragrance of flowers from a distance.Many years ago, she and Zhu Xianzhi planted flowers and plants together, but they did not survive.She thought it was inauspicious, but Zhu Xianzhi reassured her that it was nothing important, instead of worrying about it, it was better to worry about the bad rain and whether all the people in the world would suffer the disaster of drought.She said yes, and joked, it would be great if we planted the entire Hualin Garden with our own hands.

What she sows, what she reaps?

"Xuanji."

"exist."

"Let's go to Hualin Garden."

"Yes."

"Do you want to—" Feng Zihuan hesitated, Cui Xuanji looked at her with clear eyes, "Go back and get your flute?"

"Does Your Majesty want to hear it?" Feng Zihuan nodded, Cui Xuanji said with a smile: "Then go first, Your Majesty, I will go back and get it right away. I left it with Feng Xu yesterday, and I will come to His Majesty after I take it."

"Okay, I'll wait for you."

Feng Zihuan, who first arrived at Qingshu Hall, inadvertently looked out from the hall and saw a gardenia.Pink and white petals, boundless vegetation, and a little sparkle on the water.She suddenly remembered that many years ago, when the Qingshu Temple was just completed, she had visited with Zhu Xianzhi.At that time, Zhu Xianzhi made a new beautiful dress, which was pink, white and green, very eye-catching; but the size was accidentally cut a little wrong, but it was suitable for Feng Zihuan to wear.Zhu Xianzhi laughed and insisted that she wear it. At that time, she was young and energetic, and she refused to let it go, especially in front of others, so she refused no matter what, and finally agreed to show Zhu Xianzhi to wear it in the future.

when?

I don't know, let's see.

How can you just agree to it without saying when?What's the difference between this and empty talk?

I am the emperor, what I say is the imperial decree!

No, you have to tell me some time!

I don't know, I only know that I don't want to wear clothes that are three or five years old.

Then six years later?

……

Then they all forgot about it.It was only after so many years that she suddenly remembered.Ninth Five-Year Lord, but he can no longer fulfill his promise.She called the maids in charge and told them to go back immediately and find the dress and bring a hanger.The female officer responded and left, but did not return for a long time.When Cui Xuanji arrived, she was still waiting.

"You came?"

"Keep Your Majesty waiting."

"It's okay. I want to trouble you again today."

"What are you talking about, Your Majesty? What tune do you want to hear?"

"It's up to you, no matter what you brag about in the past, I really like it."

"Yes."

"and many more."

"His Majesty?"

She looked at the black wooden hairpin on Cui Xuanji's head. She was authorized by him to wear it instead of a crown hat on non-large-scale occasions. It also matches Cui Xuanji's temperament very well, making her gentle and simple, almost detached from the world. "That's all, it's good. Just blow it up, don't worry about me."

Cui Xuanji blew a long and distant tune to her, as if intending to ease her grief.When the sound of the flute slowly stopped, the female officer came back with her clothes.Feng Zihuan immediately put the clothes that had never been worn by anyone on a hanger.The female officer agreed, and quickly hung up the clothes. Under the sun, the clothes looked like gardenias, and they were well preserved, almost brand new.

Feng Zihuan looked at the clothes and suddenly burst into tears.The female officials did not dare to look at her, Cui Xuanji couldn't bear to look at her, she was the only one who stared fixedly at the clothes, weeping silently, her vision was blurred and then clear, clear and blurred.

After a long time, Feng Zihuan sighed and said: "Take it back, and keep it well." The female officials retreated one after another. After Cui Xuanji waited for them to go, he asked softly, "Your Majesty, have you missed the Queen?"

"Yes. These clothes are Xianzhi's clothes. But the ones made back then were not suitable for her, but for me. I didn't want to wear such clothes at that time, so she said, I don't need to wear them now, and I will wear them for her in the future. Just take a look. I said yes. Later, both of us forgot about it. Until today, when I saw the gardenia blooming in full bloom, I didn’t remember this dress. This dress is like..."

"like what?"

"Like my future with Xianzhi."

Tears welled up in her eyes again, and Cui Xuanji wanted to comfort her, saying that even so, if His Majesty cherishes it, the Empress will be happy.Feng Zihuan smiled wryly and said: "I looked at the clothes today and regretted that I didn't send it to be buried with me. I think it's better to burn it and give it to Xianzhi."

"Your Majesty, don't do that."

"Why?"

"Although staying by His Majesty's side to look at things and think about others makes His Majesty sad. But I sent it to the Empress. The Empress knows, and she doesn't know how to wear it. Why don't Her Majesty keep it. One day, if you really want to wear it, you can wear it once. That's how it works." Peace of mind."

Feng Zihuan smiled, "You're right, you're right. Xuan Ji, what impression do you have of Xianzhi?"

"I remember that the queen is very gentle and demure, very friendly, and very friendly to everyone. What I remember most clearly is that when I was young, before your majesty ascended the throne, and before your majesty and the queen got married, at your own banquet, once I have seen the queen several times."

"What did she say to you?"

"The empress said, oh, is this Xuan Ji? What a beautiful little guy, what musical instrument do you learn, oh, can you learn martial arts? It really is a child of the Cui family. Like me, I can't..."

Cui Xuanji counted her one by one, just like telling a story to a child, intentionally speaking in a simple and interesting way; imitating Zhu Xianzhi's tone of voice, like a big sister to a little sister; adding interesting things at that time from time to time, if words can do it Paintbrush, this passage of her narration can be described as lifelike: Feng Zihuan was absorbed in listening, and gradually got rid of the sadness.

"Do you know," after Cui Xuanji finished speaking, she asked Cui Xuanji to drink tea first, but she added, "Xianzhi once said before that she envied you and Xie Yan's rich daughters very much."

"Why?"

"She envies you. You can choose what you like to study, and you can do whatever you want. She said, in the future, like the daughters of Cui Xie's family, there is nothing wrong with marrying or marrying a wife, being an official or fighting a war." , the world allows it, and the family does not impose restrictions. As for her, she can only be a good wife according to the requirements of the teacher. She neither participates in politics nor manages what belongs to her husband and partner. She only needs to govern Take care of your own family."

"Has the empress ever yearned for these things? State affairs, struggles, wars, wielding knives and guns?"

"Not exactly, I think she is more yearning for your freedom. She is a very good and perfect person, but this does not mean that this perfect person is what she wants to be. In the past, in the palace, I also told her, you can go if you want, learn if you want, the whole palace is yours, do whatever you want. However, she was taught from a young age that it must never be like this, and naturally it will never be like this. It's like being in a courtyard, Even if she longs for the fragrance of flowers outside the yard, she will not climb over the wall to pick them, nor will she go out of the door. I wanted to let her fly, but I didn't expect to be able to help her."

Feng Zihuan looked up at the night outside the hall, there was moonlight falling on the lake, and it was scattered.

"I'm just a prison here. I'm the one holding the key. Xianzhi, Concubine Ning, and Concubine Duan are all like this."

"Your Majesty, don't blame yourself," she heard Cui Xuanji say in a calm tone without thinking, so she looked at Cui Xuanji with the same calm expression in her eyes, "Your Majesty is the Ninth Five-Year Lord, and some things cannot be controlled by oneself." It is not your Majesty who is imprisoned. With such considerations and etiquette, His Majesty is also bound by this invisible shackle. How can it be said that it is His Majesty's fault? Your Majesty is magnanimous enough. Self-pity will not make life easier Even better, the living will not be happy, and the dead will not be happy... Although I have no qualifications to persuade Your Majesty to let go of sadness, Your Majesty is not doing it for other things, not for the Queen, not for the world, but for His Majesty and the Queen, and there is no need to do so .Nothing is His Majesty's fault."

"Thank you." Feng Zihuan said, "Thank you. Can you play another tune for me, please?"

Cui Xuanji immediately changed a song, with a slight change in style. Feng Zihuan listened to it, and heard a kind of leisurely and magnanimous, the gardenia plant under the moonlight seemed to be blooming more grandly.She was leaning on the hidden pouch, besides Cui Xuanji and the gardenia in front of her eyes, besides the sound of flute, she seemed to feel Zhu Xianzhi's breathing.So she said to Zhu Xianzhi in her heart, listen, it's really good, isn't it?very nice.Don't worry, I am like this, thanks to her, I am not lonely or sad.Don't worry, I have her.

The author has something to say:

The wife of the last Tokugawa shogun, Tokugawa Ieshige, Prince Kazumiya, also known as Jingkanin, her death poem is: "I write るとても今はごろからごろももかもにしきも Junありてこそ".It can be translated as: "Put on gorgeous silk, I just want to show you my beauty. But the one I love, you are no longer in this world."