she misses me

When I was about to die, I met a man.

The appearance of this person made me feel that this might be a gift from God to me. Although she and I are both girls, I didn't have so many complicated thoughts at the time, because beauty has no gender distinction.

Whenever I look up at her, her eyes are without exception sparkling with bright stars, twinkling and twinkling, so beautiful, this kind of light seems to shine into my heart.

She came to help our sketching teacher as a substitute. It is said that the original teacher had a bad cold and needed to rest at home for a few days according to the doctor's advice.

"Hi everyone, starting today I will give you a one-week sketching class." She raised her hand and brushed the hair that fell from her forehead, and gently pinned it behind her ears. With a smile on her face: "My surname is Shu, you can just call me Mr. Shu."

Teacher Shu, I keep this name in my heart.

Just don't know what her full name is?

It may be due to my shy and introverted personality, so even though I was very curious, I resisted my curiosity and didn't go forward to talk to her.But I can bear it, but it doesn't mean that other students can also bear it. The young and beautiful female teacher is also very humorous and interesting when speaking, and she quickly became friends with her classmates.

I got to know her name from the classmates who sketched together.

Shu Liang, the name is as interesting as the person.

Even though the original sketching teacher was sick, our curriculum remained unchanged. Mr. Shu took us to sketch outdoors.At that time, the art student repeat class I applied for was privately run, so the material conditions were much better than ordinary repeat classes.

Seven days a week, half of her time took us out to sketch and play.

She said that it is better to go out to find inspiration for painting than to stay in a studio surrounded by walls all the time. This may sound like nonsense at first glance, but it may actually be nonsense. ..

But I seem to have really found the so-called inspiration, and drew a fairly perfect one—a portrait sketch.

Just after I painted the last stroke on the work I was extremely satisfied with, before I could put down the brush, my hand was suddenly caught.Without waiting for me to look up, a teasing voice has already entered my ears first, as if accompanied by the occasional breeze by the West Lake, it floated into my heart together, bringing circles and circles, small ripples.

"Today's homework is to paint the scenery of the West Lake, but why did you paint it secretly?" Her tone was very relaxed, and she didn't seem to be angry at me for changing the subject of the homework without authorization.

Maybe my drawing is too good?

I thought complacently in my heart, and it is no exaggeration to say that this painting is really well drawn.

It is also the most satisfying work I have drawn since I came to the sketching base.In fact, if she wants to scold me, I have something to refute—since the subject of the homework is the scenery of West Lake, then we standing by the West Lake, including the teacher, are also one of the scenery, right?

So it seems that there is nothing wrong with my portrait of you, teacher.

But she didn't blame me. Instead, she looked at the painting and laughed more and more happily. In the end——

"What's your name?" She asked my name.

"Ruan Zhen."

I secretly suppressed the corners of my mouth that were about to rise wildly and my heartbeat that gradually began to accelerate, and put on a very indifferent look on my face...but I suppressed the corners of my mouth that were raised, but I couldn't suppress the corners of my eyes that were raised.

I didn't know that my reaction couldn't escape her eyes at all, but I was still complacent about my poor acting skills.

Now we should be able to officially know each other, I think.

"Ruan Zhen." She repeated my name softly, spelling out the words clearly, and these two words seemed to hit my heart.Before I had time to savor it carefully, she had already started the next step: "The painting is very good, but this painting is still missing a little bit of charm, I will help you add it."

As she spoke, she held my hand and began to paint a few more strokes on the completed painting.

At that time, I actually stared at her movements seriously - I wanted to know where my paintings lacked charm.

After all, I have not forgotten that I am still an art repeater.

Improving my painting skills will allow me to perform better and get higher scores in the upcoming art test.

I just watched her add bricks and tiles to my original painting one by one. But the result is obvious, I didn't see anything.Teacher Shu held my hand and traced randomly on the painting for a while, except for making the lines darker, there seemed to be no other changes.

"Do you think this painting has become better?"

While she was painting, she suddenly approached me and tilted her head to ask me. It seemed that it was because it was the first time she talked to someone so close, and she was a teacher who had a crush on him at first sight. Almost instantly, I felt my face It's starting to get hot.

"Yes.. It is indeed a lot of Shen Yun, thank you teacher." I affirmed her words in a panic, but I was still calm on the surface.

With my affirmation, the smile in her eyes deepened.

Maybe it's because I don't know enough, so I can't see it, I thought so.

I can’t see that it doesn’t mean the teacher is wrong, after all, the teacher is the teacher. Since Teacher Shu can be entrusted to take us to class, then there must be something special about her, but I can’t see it because of my poor eyesight.

Resolutely support Teacher Shu's status!

But who would have thought that...some people can just put on a glamorous appearance to confuse sentient beings, and then eat human tofu openly? ?

After getting my affirmative answer, she left and started going all the way to check other students' homework.Although she no longer stays here to guide me.But I don't know why, I always pay attention to her from the corner of my eye - pay attention to whether she has it, and guide others like I just guided me.

I mean grabbing other people's hands and teaching them how to repaint.

I feel that my psychology seems a bit abnormal, but I don't know where it is abnormal.

But fortunately, during the rest of the day, she never grabbed the hand of another person except to stand by and verbally guide or point out problems on other people's unfinished paintings. up.

This makes me can't help but maintain a good mood all day.

Because her behavior makes me feel that I am special.

Although this special may be just what I thought, but that is enough for me to be happy.

...

Just getting along for two or three days made me feel like I hated meeting this person.

Half of a week passed in the blink of an eye, and we gradually became familiar with her under the guidance of her consciously or unconsciously. However, after getting more and more familiar with each other, not only did I not find her shortcomings...instead, I was more attracted to her. Attracted by his fun and tenderness.

I think such a person must be an angel from heaven.

At the same time, a bad idea came to my mind. I began to hope that the sketch teacher's cold would last longer, so that I could spend more time with her.

But ideas are just ideas after all.

Not only did my little mean idea fail to materialize, it was the exact opposite.

Perhaps it was because the sketch teacher was too worried about our professional grades. As the art exam was getting closer and closer day after day...she dutifully ended her recuperation early and gave us classes in spite of illness. Shu Liang, the temporary substitute teacher, passed the baton smoothly and retired.

This was originally something to be happy about, but we have only been together for five days.

I watched her get on the bus leaving the sketching base. Many, many students heard the news that she was leaving and sneaked out of the studio to see her off.

I am one of them.

But I'm different from other people, I know.

Teacher Shu seemed surprised to see us, especially me.

And when I thought of her leaving... the tears in my eyes started to flow down like a faucet turned on.

She got off the bus.

We told her not to go, I told her not to go.She told me quietly that she was sick, very serious. She had to go to a big hospital for treatment.

She said that after she cured her disease, she would definitely come back to see me... Her eyes were so sincere that I wondered what kind of disease such a good person had.

I believed such a lie, because she was a good teacher, at least in my heart at the time.

On the first day she left, I always forgot that she had left, and habitually raised my head to look at the figure shuttling around in the studio, but every time I came back, I was disappointed.

That is, under such disappointment again and again, I began to think, why didn't I be bold and proactive at the beginning, so that I might be able to have her contact information, so I don't have to sit in front of the drawing board and can't do anything.

So I had no inspiration, and I couldn’t draw a decent outline for the empty drawing board all day, although I still reminded myself over and over again, I shouldn’t be like this, I’m a repeat student.. this An upcoming exam that I have been preparing for for a long time, I can't fail.

But even such hints were in vain.

The teacher took it for granted that I was sick and asked me to go home and rest for a day and come back tomorrow.

I lay on the bed in the room and stared at the snow-white ceiling, my heart was full of soreness. I don’t know what kind of mood this is, but this kind of mood must be special and unique. of.

Because I have lived for 18 years, and this is the first time I have such a mood.

I told my mother who was like a friend about my feelings, and my mother told me that such a similar feeling is called - liking.

It turns out I like it.

In other words, I fell in love with a girl of the same gender as me.

This result made me feel very surprised. I was surprised that I fell in love with a girl. At the same time, I was even more surprised that my mother didn't think there was anything wrong with me liking girls... Maybe we are just a strange couple Mother and daughter.

The state of distraction lasted for several days, and finally I adjusted my state and re-entered the study of professional courses.

Without him, I want to draw a painting with a "spiritual charm" and give it to Teacher Shu as a gift to congratulate her on her healthy return when we meet next time. I believe she will come back to me in a healthy and healthy way. There is no doubt about it.

As the days go by, I can still think of her occasionally during my breaks.

This beautiful face flashed in my mind and then disappeared, giving me a lot of strength to persevere.

It's like becoming an obsession.

My birthday came on schedule, and after class I was able to go home and celebrate my birthday with my mother and grandparents, which is why I was in a happy state all day long.

Maybe it's because I'm about to enter the ranks of adults, so I urgently want to share this news with Mr. Shu, but with her contact information, it seems that the only way is to find a sketching teacher.

God doesn't seem to want to give me this chance to continue being happy.

I went to my teacher and asked about Shu Liang's current situation. I just wanted to change the topic and asked for a phone number.

But the unexpected answer was——

"She is dead."

Those four short words shattered my entire dream.

However, this was only the first coming-of-age gift that God gave me. After that, I received one after another, each gift I will never forget.I was dragged out of the castle that my mother carefully built for me by life, and I was no longer... that Ruan Zhen who was protected.

I became Song Zhen.

I met a man who claimed to be my father.. and a little boy who felt like he could tear down a house.

I left Hangzhou, and I have a new home, but there is no mother in this home.

After failing to repeat my studies, I was sent abroad for a systematic MBA study by my father who had just recognized me. From that day on, I began my difficult life abroad.When I was sitting on the plane, I was looking at the city buildings that gradually became smaller on the ground outside the plane window, and I was thinking, from today onwards, I will really...not be Ruan Zhen anymore.

And in the same way, the woman who was short-lived in my life is destined to become a passerby.

This moment may be the closest I am to her and my mother in heaven.

I lost my mother's protection and stepped into a completely strange society, just like a little white/rabbit being put into a pack of wolves.Although Song Jingyan is very rich, he did not help me arrange everything abroad like so many parents.

Many things, mostly on my own.

In addition to the cost of the whole process of study and a little monthly living expenses, he only helped me pay the rent for half a year for the place where I lived.All this was told to me by his assistant over the phone after the plane landed, and as a father, he didn't even express his condolences.

At that time, I was thinking, am I really his biological daughter?

Is there something wrong?

I started to try, living a life of working and earning money while studying in a foreign country. From the beginning, I couldn’t do this or that, and at the end I was able to speak fluent English and communicate with foreigners. Pain that no one else can feel.

The days will always get better and better.

When I got the first salary I earned in my life, I couldn't wait to walk into the cake shop across the street after get off work that day and buy myself a cake that I had wanted for a long time.With anticipation and joy, facing the afterglow of the sunset in a foreign country, I walked back to the rented place step by step.

I met a ragged, unkempt old man.

He said he got separated from his family and asked if I could lend him a little money to go home.

He looked very pitiful, and I couldn't help but feel compassion for having lost my family. After all, I don't have any family either.

I saved the small amount of salary in my pocket, and I almost sweated out of the thin paper—although it was actually only a little bit.I was wandering between the torment of my conscience and the embarrassment of reality. I didn't have much money, but these were the wages I got after working hard for more than half a month.

In the face of difficult guests and criticism from the boss... let's not talk about these for now.

In the end, I chose to lend him the money, because I suddenly remembered that my mother taught me to be a kind person since I was a child.

Mom, look.

I am a kind person and I am still willing to help others.

Before he left, this person was grateful to Dade, promised to return the money to me when he returned home safely, and left my contact information, which I believed.

I watched him leave with the cake in my hand... Then I watched him walk into a restaurant with a decent environment at the corner of the street.

I recognize that restaurant, since I went out to work part-time, I have to pay more attention to the restaurant every time I pass by-but because of the price, I have never dared to go in.

Maybe he's... too hungry, I think.

This person has completely crushed the last remaining innocence of me, and I have not received any phone calls about paying back or thanking me in the days to come.. Some are just calls from the landlord for rent reminders and work places, and the boss calls dismissed the phone.

Because I was still stuttering in English, I was fired.

Although I needed this job very much at the time, even though I also earnestly begged the boss on the phone to give me another chance.Although.. I often study until midnight in order to be able to speak more fluent English better and more fluently, but these are of no use.

No one else wants to know about my difficulties.

At that time, I began to feel: To live, especially to live decently... is really difficult.

I am being forced to grow up, become stronger, and become a person who can stand on my own.

Although becoming such a person is very powerful and excellent.. But I feel that I am slowly losing the things that my mother has kept for me since I was a child, but I don’t think that these things are lost as before. It would be a pity.

Because these are the things that must be lost when growing up. I would rather exchange these things than live a difficult life, so that I can live a decent life.

My life started to get better and better.

My grades were also top-notch in school, and gradually I stopped relying on low-level odd jobs to earn that kind of meager salary. My business talent began to show little by little with the passage of time. Come out.. Finally, all my studies abroad are over, and I am returning home.

I was appreciated by Song Jingyan, maybe he thought my daughter could help him, even though he only called me three times during the years when I was abroad.But he still thinks that I should be grateful to him, after all, I would not be where I am today without him.

I started to work for him, and at the same time, I started to secretly build my own company with the not much inheritance left by my mother.

And during this period of time, I also re-found my sketching teacher back then, and I wanted to pay respects to the person I liked... At least I should put incense on her, I think.

But then I discovered a more important problem... that is——

I was deceived.

The author has something to say: the next chapter is Mr. Shu's sand sculpture perspective.