[Comprehensive] I have ancestral shit shoveling skills

Mexico and US border.

The road leading to the border inspection station is no longer potholed. The shock absorption function of the passenger car is almost zero, and the bumps along the way made people almost spit out the breakfast they had swallowed so hard.The sound of a few skinny men playing cards in the front row was loud, and the half-eaten taco roll was thrown aside, and the sauce dripped down the crust and hung precariously on the corner.

Most of the passengers are well adapted to the noisy environment. They fall into a comatose state when they lean against the back of the seat or the window.

Phoebe hugged her suitcase and huddled in the last row of the bus. The scenery outside the window was nothing but yellow sand. She yawned wearily after seeing it for a short time.

Phoebe hasn't had a good night's sleep since she entered Mexico. She rescued three lantern jellyfish that were almost dissected in Acapulco, and bought a unicorn with Irish leprechaun gold coins in an underground auction in Chihuahua. Beast, and then diverted to Monterey into the mountains to visit traces of the endangered lion-tailed eagle.

The law and order in Mexico is very bad, even though Grandpa Newt always "inadvertently" revealed at home that he had traveled around the world to observe magical animals during the summer vacation since the third grade, despite the guarantee of Principal Dumbledore and several members of Sir Merlin The International Confederation of Magic gave Phoebe permission to use non-lethal spells, but the two-month journey was definitely not an easy one for a little wizard who just passed his 15th birthday in July.Who knows why Phoebe, who should have rushed directly to New York, suddenly went to Mexico. It must be because of the crystal ball divination on the train that made her uneasy.

"We're about to pass the border inspection. Those damn Yankees are very strict on this route. If you have anything you shouldn't be carrying, you'd better take it out now, and don't cause trouble for me." The bus driver with a big waist Glancing in the rearview mirror at the bus full of passengers, Phoebe jumps, before remembering that she's used the Ignore Charm, that the suitcase is just plain, and that the driver must be talking about the drug trade rife across the border.

Phoebe sniffled in the smell of sweat. School will start the day after tomorrow. She can use the Portkey or Floo to return to New York, but Muggle status has entry records in Mexico, so she must have a complete itinerary and exit For the record, it's the same in the US.The wizarding laws in the United States have been relaxed in the past two years, but this basic mistake will definitely get her invited to the Magic Congress for tea.

The passenger car staggered to a stop at the checkpoint, a bit like someone sticking his head out of the checkpoint at a tollbooth on a highway and calling out to the window.

"Sit still, don't move, keep your hands where the border guards can see."

A skinny man in the front seat uneasily touched the thick functional belt, the card player yelled and picked up the taco roll with half the filling, and the sleepy passengers woke up one after another, and there were yawns everywhere in the car Voice.

Two policemen got into the car with their police dogs.

Phoebe's and the skinny man's hearts skipped a beat at the same time.

The man was exposed because of the fact that he was smuggling drugs, and Phoebe was because he had foreseen the trouble later.

Since settling in Dorset, the Scamanders have transformed a county-sized area into a magical animal paradise, and cast a strong protective spell around the edge to prevent others from entering and prevent these little guys from running out. .The doctor in St. Mungo said that the little girl in Scamander should be born in early September, so at the end of July, her mother felt relieved to feed the moon monster with others, and then she had a stomachache when she tiptoed to throw the feed ...For this reason, Phoebe's mother was educated by the elders for half a month. Fortunately, St. Mungo is still very reliable. After a few days of magic therapy, Phoebe, who was born prematurely, is no different from other babies.

Children born at the end of July seem a bit strange. Harry, who is a year older than Phoebe, is the savior of the wizarding world. Neville's memory is like a Muggle goldfish, and Phoebe herself has a natural ability to communicate with animals. , it may be the blessing of the Moon Crazy Beast, or it may be the intergenerational enhancement of heredity, all magical animals are happy to stick with her.When she was one year old, Phoebe had already dared to roll on the back of the poisonous leopard, and even the fire dragon often put on a friendly look in front of her.

"This kid is the material to protect magical animals." Grandpa Newt said firmly when he saw this scene, and made up his mind to pass on his life's experience of shoveling shit.So Phoebe lived in dire straits since she was a child. She was learning the languages ​​of various animals while other little wizards were reciting vocabulary words. When the little wizard was riding a broomstick, she was accidentally carried into the sky by the Australian Opaleye, and then broke her wrist bone.

How hard life is.

But that's why she was sent to rescue Fantastic Beasts after a break from school.

As for the suspension of school... At the end of last semester, Harry Potter, the senior in the same school, shouted "Voldemort is back" at the end of the Triwizard Tournament. Although various newspapers quickly jumped out to refute the rumors, according to The relationship between Grandpa Newt and Headmaster Dumbledore, the Scamanders' belief in Voldemort's return.Phoebe, who didn't think there was anything scary at first, insisted on going to class, but at the end of the fourth grade, something happened that made her madder than Voldemort's resurrection: Pink Toad/Toad Umbridge sent by the Ministry of Magic fired her Professor Trelawney.

Fire Professor Trelawney!

As a representative of the Divination class with ideals and pursuits, Phoebe was completely blown away.

I can't read this book!Leave school!

The parents of the family have no right to speak, and Grandpa Newt, who dotes on the child, quickly persuaded his wife to give Phoebe a leave of absence from school, just to avoid the chaos that may occur in the British wizarding world, and go to the United States to avoid the smuggling of magical animals. .New York is Grandma Tina's hometown. It is said that she and Grandpa Newt met in New York. Phoebe also has a good impression of this city.

But something unexpected happened again—it was agreed to come to New York to deal with the smuggling of magical animals!I agreed to take a break from school and do some shit shoveling work that I have grown up since I was a child!Why did grandparents enroll her in a Muggle school through the back door of the Magic Congress? !

It’s true that you have to go to school at the age of 15. It’s true that you can’t go to Ilvermorny if you stay at Hogwarts. It’s true that you need a formal identity to stay in the United States for a long time...but why should you go to school? Muggle high school!

I didn't even go to elementary school, okay!Do you know nothing about the periodic table of elements, multiplication table, modern history and world history?

Pit granddaughter!

(╯‵ ′)╯︵┻━┻

In this regard, Grandma Tina, who received resentment, lovingly took out the mail-order "Must-Read Book for American Middle School Students"...

Forget the past.

"You! Stand up!" A border guard pointed at the skinny man and said.He trembled all over, and the drug detection dog had already rushed forward and barked at his belt.The border police, not surprised at all, tied up the trembling man behind his back and took him out of the car.His companion led the two police dogs and continued to walk in the car. These spirited German black-backed ears stood upright, and they patrolled methodically, not letting go of any potential threats.

Can't see me, can't see me, can't see me...

Although the horror of being recognized by various Muggle domestic animals under the Ignore Charm in Mexico flew through her mind, Phoebe still prayed for luck.

The ears of the two police dogs moved, and they both raised their heads in this direction.Following their gazes, the border police and passengers in a car found Phoebe sitting in the last row. The driver wondered for a long time when the little girl got on the car, but the question mark floated in his mind. Everyone felt as if she deserved to be here.

The eyes of the German black back are shining.

! ! ! ! !

Phoebe had something in her heart, so she forced her composure and nodded to the border police.

The police dogs on duty are indeed well-trained, and they don't say a word, which is completely different from other chattering dogs.

The big man glanced at her up and down, seeing nothing unusual, and the police dog didn't issue a warning, so he thought it was an accident, and when he turned around, Phoebe let out a sigh of relief.But she loosened it too early, the police dog refused to leave, and squatted on the spot to compete with the owner, pulling the leash straight.

While holding the ground with four paws, the German black back can tilt its head and stick out its tongue at her, and turn its ears back and forth.If it was Phoebe, who was usually immune to all animals, she would have squatted down and smoothed her neck, but now she was complicated.

QAQ must have forgotten to clean myself after feeding in the suitcase this morning...  

"You can also come down to the outpost, miss." No matter how complicated her heart is, the police will not believe in two coincidences.

Phoebe followed him listlessly to his office in the border hall, explaining that she was "going to New York to go to school" along the way.Two people in the hall were taking the skinny man away, and three other inspectors surrounded him.With a beating heart, Phoebe went through several regular inspection procedures, and then asked the policewoman to check her clothes, and finally dialed the button on the side of the suitcase, and put it on the table obediently.

The suitcase, a birthday present for her 11th birthday, has been expanded many times over, but without a single Fantastic Beast.

"You have to find those animals yourself," Grandpa Newt said solemnly at the time. "You have to send them back to where they should be. If they can't survive, you have to raise them, protect them, and love them."

In the few vacations after school, Phoebe went to many places with her parents, the rainforest of South America, the plains of East Asia, the desert of Africa... Now her suitcase is full of various rescues Fantastic Beasts, its own Muggle mode and wizard mode have also been figured out.

However, this suitcase once fell into the hands of the Weasley twins after leaving the British wizarding world. Harry, who is familiar with the Muggle world, and Hermione, who has become more and more open in recent years, became accomplices. All kinds of (strange) and (flowery) cover identities, from the child who went to visit relatives with special products, the child who brought books to cram school, the child who brought bread to the square to feed pigeons, to——

"Another little fan."

The border guard who opened the suitcase relaxed, and his partner was even a little greedy. He saw that the suitcase was full of Chaoying figurines, signed photos and various toy cards.On the left is a model of Superman's suit, on the right is a large pile of photos, with a change of clothes underneath.

......

Phoebe stroked the fur of the police dog that was still leaning against her leg, and smiled mischievously.

"Photos of Superman, models of Superman, newspaper clippings of Superman... girls at this age all like Superman." The policeman who was born in the Metropolis said very proudly, "Why do you go to school in New York? The Metropolis also likes Superman." Very nice, my son took a lot of photos of Superman flying overhead."

Another border guard, who was closing the box, snorted.

"New York is also very good, New York has the Avengers, think about it, Iron Man, Captain America, Black Widow, Hulk, just thinking of these names is already jumping up, and there is a new kid, what is his name Come—?"

"—Captain Spider? Spider Boy?"

"Spider-Man," said the third staff member who had been keeping a cold face.

"Yes, Spider-Man, the boy has a bright future." The New York Border Police said happily.

I haven't been here for a few years, what the hell is Spider-Man, isn't he and Black Widow really relatives?Now Muggle Superhero names are becoming more and more casual_(:з」∠)_

When sending Phoebe back to the car, two border guards struggled to hold the police dog who wanted to follow Phoebe into the car. The two black backs whined, smelling the tears of the sad witnesses, and the border guard with a sense of honor in his hometown It's fine if you don't go to help, and you are still chattering.

"New York is a paradise for all superhero fans, boy, I guarantee you won't be so superman fanatic when you get to New York."

Phoebe's smiling expression twisted for a moment.

Swear to Merlin's 1000-year-unwashed briefs I'm not a fan of Superman at all!

Damn Harry James Potter!

Curse you never get a photo with Superman in your life!