The teenagers in the broken shimmer dance with the wind

Xu Qingzhou stepped forward and grabbed the man who was roaring hysterically by the collar, and he said angrily: "Not enough! Of course it's impossible! What do you waste that little energy for?"

"Are you alone in pain? I can often see Yue Chengen on the platform in the middle of the night. That person is squatting in a corner staring at a photo in a daze. He doesn't even dare to cry, and he is not even allowed to be sad. He has lost more than you It's more, it's not easy for him to return to the stage than you, didn't he grit his teeth and survive? There is also Liyou, Liyou was attacked by the whole network when he was a teenager, and people all over the world It's a black post, without a good word, being used by the company and abandoned by his family, wouldn't he suffer? Think about it! If it were you, if you stood in his perspective, would you dare to imagine what he was like in those years? How did you survive alone?"

Xu Qingzhou saw everything in his eyes, he remembered everything, and wrote down everything bit by bit: "And Xu Shanmu, what kind of background is he? How much hardship he has suffered since he was a child, how many eyes he has received, his Life is more painful than yours, even he is so painful that he doesn’t want to live. How did he grow up? Ah? Do you dare to think about it? How many times has he been disappointed and desperate, and how long has he lived in despair? Do you dare to go Have you lived a life like his? And Chuanhui and Yuanzhi, how much time have they spent in the practice room? Do you know how many pairs of shoes they have wasted in order to catch up with everyone's progress?"

"Could it be that Fanyuan and Wangyan are relaxed? Can they just relax and live to this day without any worries? And me!" He clutched his heart: "I was also deprived of the title of No. [-] , You seem to have just missed it, but to me it was a lifetime of shame! I also chose to grit my teeth and get through it, taking this incident as a 'good luck' to run away from home."

Xu Qingzhou lowered his head and shook his head desperately: "There is Jinghong, there is Jinghong! Have you ever seen how broken he is when he knows he can't dance? You haven't! He is so childish, so afraid of pain People, how cruel is it to hide under the quilt and endure the pain stimulated by drugs every day! A fairy who should be dancing can only walk with a cane now, what does he feel like? Have you considered it?!"

"How can you say that he is naive so irresponsibly? How can you say that you are tired and can't take it anymore?" Xu Qingzhou frowned, and blurted out a question, as if asking himself: "Who in this world doesn't Painful? Are you the only one suffering?"

He pointed at the endless night: "Who in this branch school is not in pain? Do you think Zheng Nanguan will not be in pain?"

The young man took a deep breath, suppressing the pain in his heart: "You are not the only one suffering in this world, everyone is desperately living, no one is struggling."

"Struggle with life, struggle with suffering!"

He pulled Chu Yun's collar like a violent beast: "Stand up, Chu Yun! Stand on the stage and sing! Sing even if it hurts you to death! Go struggle, it doesn't matter if you struggle like death!"

"Sing out your pain. No matter how you fall, the sun will rise tomorrow, so stand up, there is only one way for you."

Xu Qingzhou threw him away like a piece of paper: "Live on, give me a good struggle!"

Chu Yun, who fell back on the stage like a fallen leaf, fell into a sluggish state, trembling all over, as if resisting instinctive fatigue.

Xu Qingzhou had already left, and in the empty auditorium, he curled up like a dead larva, crying bitterly.

Ruo Jinghong leaned on a cane and stood outside the auditorium door. He didn't go in, but just stood there.

The young man who came from the auditorium could see the smile of Haitang, who was gradually recovering from spring sleep, as soon as he looked up.

In this cold wind and cold, someone's cries came from the auditorium, the heart-piercing sounds were full of pain, as if they wanted to tear this night into pieces, so as to break out the most tragic drama in the world before their eyes.

Those dripping tears are the past events made up of so many sad things.

Ruo Jinghong asked him, "Will he get better?"

The boy bent down and carried the fairy on his back: "He will be fine."

"Then I believe you."

Xu Qingzhou walked upstairs step by step with him on his back. When he reached the corner of the second floor, Xu Qingzhou said, "Jinghong."

"Ok?"

"The matter in the cloud is not your fault, it is his own prison, and it has nothing to do with you."

The little god smiled: "I know." The little god buried his head in the boy's neck: "I heard everything you said to him."

"Ah."

"You don't need to remember so many sad things, it's better to remember more things that we were happy together." He tightened his arms: "You don't want to suffer from depression."

Xu Qingzhou paused, feeling that his heart was about to turn red, and his eyes were a little red: "I won't, I promise."

"Then I believe you."

They set foot on the last flight of stairs, stepping slowly and hastily into the next second. Despair cannot catch up, brokenness cannot catch up, and sadness cannot catch up with.They walked forward like this, like warriors embarking on a journey, like gentle and smiling flower watchers.

Xu Shanmu sat at the desk and drew a sketch. The 6B pencil in his hand was the color of carbon when the pen was drawn. Beside him was Li Yuanzhi with a troubled expression. Li Yuanzhi seemed to have something to say, but he didn't know how to say it.

"If you don't say anything, I'm leaving." Genius sighed weakly, and said to the squad leader over there: "Do you need my help?"

"Yes." Li Yuanzhi lowered his head: "But...you are still sick, so it's better for you to say that you don't worry about it."

"Your old man sitting next to me with such a sad face makes me even more distressed. Tell me, what's going on?" Xu Shanmu has roughly guessed what this person wants to say.It's just that he doesn't like Li Yuanzhi's soft and stubborn temperament very much. If he wants to punish him, he must speak up.

"that is……"

Here Li Yuanzhi was still struggling, and Wan Liyou came back with a stinky sweat.Seeing Li Yuanzhi's hard-to-speak expression, the boy immediately frowned: "You can look for him in a few days, he's still sick."

"I don't want to look for him either!" Li Yuanzhi was annoyed, and was immediately ignited by Wan Liyou's unintentional rebuke: "Don't make noise, you're too loud."

"I'm quarreling or you're quarreling!" Wan Liyou was stunned, bared his teeth, took his clothes and went to take a shower.

Xu Shanmu glanced at the two of them: "It seems that I have to consider changing the dormitory. You two will fight sooner or later."

Li Yuanzhi lowered his head, looked at the apple in his hand, and said awkwardly: "Chuan Hui..."

Hearing the imaginary name, Xu Shanmu looked over and responded, "Yes."

"Chuan Hui... Something's not quite right recently, can you help me persuade him?"

"Me?" Xu Shanmu didn't understand: "Why me?"

Because... because of what?

The reason for asking you to persuade him is well known to each other, Li Yuanzhi sighed: "You clearly know."

"But I don't know how to persuade him. His thoughts have been deeply rooted for many years, and his family has influenced him. I can't persuade him with a few words." Xu Shanmu closed the computer , couldn't help sighing: "My IQ is higher than yours, but... this doesn't mean that I can turn my hand into clouds and my hands into rain."

"You can't help it either?" Li Yuanzhi said with anxiety on his face, "I...I came to you because I really had no choice."

Xu Shanmu tapped the mouse on the table: "Where is he?"

"The gazebo downstairs."

The young man put down the computer, and then remembered something and told Li Yuanzhi behind him: "Hold Liyou, don't let him come over, I'll talk to Chuanhui."

Li Yuanzhi nodded immediately.

Before going out, Xu Shanmu said: "Tomorrow morning I want to eat wonton and Hu spicy soup, please trouble you."

Unexpectedly, there would be such a thing, Li Yuanzhi was taken aback, and laughed helplessly: "I'll buy it for you."

It only rained in the middle of the night yesterday, and the autumn chrysanthemums in the yard bloomed extremely brilliantly, and the blossoming blossoms were inexplicably desolate and heroic.

"Who hides the solitary sign and proud of the world, the same flower blooms late." This is "Ask the Chrysanthemum" by Lin Daiyu in Dream of the Red Chamber.

Xu Shanmu knocked on the old wooden pillar of the gazebo, leaned on the railing and met Huang Chuanhui's eyes.

"Are you cured?" Seeing the man's pale face, Huang Chuanhui smiled: "Come out to let the wind out in the cold?"

"Li Yuanzhi said you were unhappy and asked me to come over and have a chat with you." Xu Shanmu said quietly.

"You're so direct, just hide it." Seeing that he was so direct, the young man no longer struggled: "Then what do you want to tell me?"

Xu Shanmu looked him up and down: "Did Liyou talk to you?"

"How do you know? Oh...you saw it that day."

"No." Xu Shanmu sat down on the stone table with his back to the dormitory building, looked at the dark sky, it was raining today, he said: "You used to appear before our eyes, but you haven't appeared recently, I guess What did Liyou tell you?"

Xu Shanmu's words contained a lot of meanings, Huang Chuanhui was not stupid, he understood, so he said, "Is my resentment towards you so obvious?"

"Well, obviously, you want to bite me to death." Xu Shanmu pointed at his eyes: "You are calm and breezy and you can pretend well, but your eyes are not in place. It would be better to restrain your sharpness when looking at people. "

Huang Chuanhui laughed at his leisure, and was speechless: "That's right, I'm no match for you in terms of acting and pretending."

"Why do you have to be my opponent?"

"Because I want to find someone to hate, you are the most perfect, so I choose to hate you." Huang Chuanhui was outspoken, and he did not shy away from the dark side of his heart.

"I see." Xu Shanmu nodded, "I thought it was because you thought you couldn't be the pride of your family, so you hated me."

Huang Chuanhui froze, a genius is a genius, and in a word, all his thoughts could not escape his eyes.

"Three generations of my family have been police officers. My cousin and cousin all obeyed the advice of the family and went to learn the corresponding major. Only I didn't go because I couldn't compare with them since I was a child. My dad often said that I let him down. I can't compete with others. It's a sin to be alone. It's also a sin not to be the pride of your family. Sometimes I think, why can't I be better? Why can't I be like you?" Huang Chuanhui half-closed his eyes, looking at Looking at the elegant young man who was as thin as a pear in front of him: "Shan Mu, if you are my parents' child, they will definitely be proud of you."

"Me." He smiled, laughed, cried, and he was still smiling but shed a tear: "I really want to be their pride, but I can't, so I rebelled, an irresponsible rebellion Yes. I hid in the world of music and got dreadlocks. It is undeniable that music really makes people happy."

"I really like music, but... that doesn't mean I'm indifferent to my parents' expectations. I'm just disappointed in myself."

After Xu Shanmu heard this, he immediately showed a spring-like smile, and the young man looked down at his own shadow on the ground: "It's not a crime not to be alone."

"I heard that you know who my mother is, don't you?" His brows and eyes were always bent so that no one could see his emotions.

Huang Chuanhui nodded after a little hesitation.

"Do you remember the 'beast' professor who made a fuss some time ago?"

The young man didn't understand why Xu Shanmu suddenly mentioned that person, he just nodded: "I remember, what's wrong?"

"That man is my father."

Regardless of Huang Chuanhui's astonishment, Xu Shanmu just lowered his head and said: "He is my mother's mentor. My mother committed herself to him for graduation. He ruined my mother's life and mine. I am a rotten person. Rotten from the moment of birth."

Xu Shanmu didn't know if he could bring Huang Chuanhui back to reality, so he could only take an extreme gamble: "When we were young in the orphanage, we often didn't have enough to eat, and we would pick the lock and go out in the middle of the night. There was a bakery next door to us. The unsalable bread was thrown into the trash can, and I took a group of children out to find the discarded bread in the trash can." The boy looked at him with a smile: "I am worse than you."

"When I was a child, I did everything to fill my stomach. I cheated, stole other people's wallets, sold my study notes in school, and helped my classmates do their homework to make extra money. I was already in the kitchen when I was ten years old. The back kitchen helped wash the dishes to earn money. Not for anything else, just to survive." Xu Shanmu smiled: "Because I want to find my mother, I want to see her, I want to know why she doesn't want me, why she doesn't love me I."

"Later, you also know." Xu Shanmu sighed softly, like a feather fluttering in the tip of his heart, he bent down slightly, and looked into Huang Chuanhui's eyes full of astonishment: "Her life was also ruined, so she wanted to Revenge on me. She told me my background, who I am and what my bloodline is. I shouldn't have come to this world, and everything I have experienced is due, because I am my own retribution."

Xu Shanmu said: "These are the words my 'mother' said to me. I am worse than you."

"My mother just showed up to ask me for money, because I was in the newspaper at the time, and the program I wrote sold a lot of money."

The boy's eyebrows and eyes were not worried, but ordinary, they didn't seem to be listening to these rotten muddy stories, but they seemed to be chatting after dinner drinking iced cola at the entrance of the alley, at least Xu Shanmu was so calm: "But I don't Not a soft-hearted person, I gave her money, waited for her to buy those things, and then called the police. I originally wanted her to stay in prison for the rest of her life, but I didn't expect her to be made like that by those friends .But it’s also good to catch them all, so that they don’t threaten me again.” He let out a long sigh of relief: “Then, I hated that person for starting such a tragedy, but I’m still too young to deal with it. He poses a threat, so... we can only wait."

"Chuanhui, I have always lived in hatred. Because my expectations were broken."

"So..." Huang Chuanhui had an unimaginably shocked look on his face: "So... you made those on the Internet?"

"Yeah. Who else? I've done this move for a long time." Xu Shanmu smiled and said, "Do you think you are a sinner? No, I am much more sinful than you."

Huang Chuanhui couldn't help taking a step forward. He suddenly understood why Wanliyou was so anxious to tell him to stay away from Xu Shanmu. Xu Shanmu's sense of transparency that would turn into a passing cloud at any time made people tremble.

"You didn't want to live before... Could it be..."

"You can't understand that for people like us, every second of living is painful and suffering. There is only one way to get rid of it."

"But you... haven't you come back?" Huang Chuanhui stretched out his hand and grabbed his shoulder in astonishment: "Don't you want to live now? You?! Aren't you back?!"

Xu Shanmu patted his hand, and said in pain, "Don't pinch me, it hurts."

Huang Chuanhui still didn't let go, but relaxed slightly.He stared at a pair of phoenix eyes and waited for the genius to answer.

The genius said: "I still haven't found the meaning of living, but some people want me to live. Then it doesn't matter if I live."

What is indifferent?Huang Chuanhui's mind was full of chaos.

"Before suicide? Why did you stop?" He felt that his question would definitely be answered, so he asked.Huang Chuanhui didn't think too much, and asked seriously, if Xu Shanmu wasn't trying to comfort him, if what the genius said was true...

If life changes, from the perspective of this person, I will definitely choose the road of breaking. It is a pain that goes deep into the bone marrow, and every bit of it in front of my eyes is hopelessly broken.

why……

Why stay?

He wants to know.

What the hell is beyond pain.

"Because Liyou cried."

The imaginary and unexpected answer made Huang Chuanhui's blood flow back all over his body. He saw the elegant smile on the corner of Xu Shanmu's mouth, just like the most elegant white pear on the branch of Sanchun. Defiled heart.

"I don't want him to be alone, alone in this world, and my heart aches."

Xu Shanmu blinked his eyes, like a doll in a window, he smiled and asked, "Chuan Hui, do you want my life like this?"

Huang Chuanhui spoke almost subconsciously, shaking his head in panic, "I don't want to..." After finishing speaking, he felt something was wrong, and was about to apologize when he heard Xu Shanmu's laughter.

"Right, no one wants my life like this." He shook his head: "I'm not anyone's pride, and I can't live alone."

"It's okay if you can't be alone. Two people are better than one. Isn't it?"

Xu Shanmu reached out and patted his shoulder, and smiled softly: "You are you, you don't have to live in other people's expectations."

Huang Chuanhui asked him back like a child: "Is it okay?"

He didn't know what he was asking, but Xu Shanmu still nodded and said, "Yes, it's okay."

It doesn't matter if you don't become proud, there is no way for a person to live alone in this world.

You always have to be in touch with the world.

Good is fate, bad is also fate.

Fate is a silk thread, drawing colorful cloth.

We are not what we collect, what we get, what we read, as long as we are alive, we are love, the things we love, the people we love.All of these, I think are really going to survive. 】——"Island Bookstore"