The teenagers in the broken shimmer dance with the wind

Chapter 47 Are you going to choose to give up?

On the day Ruo Jinghong went to the hospital for reexamination, Xu Qingzhou inexplicably saw Chu Yun in a certain ward. The young man was talking to a woman who was dying of illness. Anyone who watched the scene of son filial piety and mother's kindness felt warm.

Back at school, the boy lobbied Wan Li about the matter, and asked Zheng Nanguan if he knew about it.

Zheng Nanguan looked embarrassed, finally nodded, and said somewhat at a loss as to what to do: "It's hard to talk about their family's affairs, and it's not clear. It's better if you don't worry about it."

Xu Shanmu and Wan Liyou bought some fruit and walked towards the school. A crazy and rather sloppy woman walked towards them. The woman was holding a stack of missing person notices, and when she saw someone, she stuffed one. .

Two children were also stuffed.

"Good-hearted people, help me, this is my daughter, you saw it..."

She reversed the order of words, and looked like a madman.

Staring at the pair of chaotic and bright eyes between the woman's disheveled face, Xu Shanmu called out to her, and under everyone's confused eyes, he stuffed all the money he had into her pocket, and said softly Even if the leaflets are printed, she also needs money to ask the woman to take them, and she also said that she will help to read them.

The woman was taken aback for a moment, then wiped her tears, and tremblingly held her pocket.Seeing this, Wan Liyou was a bit stunned and realized that he had no money with him. Feeling that it was cold in autumn, the boy took off the scarf around his neck and handed it to the woman, telling her to pay attention to the cold weather, but others fell ill before they found him. up.

Under the street lamp, the person carried the flyer and walked away until her figure disappeared into the darkness, and the two children couldn't recover.

The flyer in his hand showed a photo of a little girl, very cute, only two years old, looking at the camera with big eyes as if asking questions about the world.

"Shan Mu?" Wanliyou called Xu Shanmu, Xu Shanmu didn't lose his mind, just looked at the four words of missing person notice on the paper with a smile, and said, "I also fantasized about it when I was young."

Under the street lamp was the chilling wind, and next to Wanliyou's ear was the young man's elegant and indifferent voice, slightly sad: "I have thought about what kind of person my parents are, and whether they are also looking for me. If I find How are they going to live with them? What would it be like if I had a home?" He stared at the paper, his eyes flushed: "I was looking forward to it too."

Wan Liyou put his arms around his neck, and leaned forward with his whole body: "Let's celebrate the New Year together this year."

"It's still early."

"The two of us are also a family, and I am your family." Wanliyou gestured: "Look, my parents are remarried, they both have their own homes, and I have only myself. How about it? Landlord? Your house If you don’t sell it, don’t sell it, and I can pay the rent.”

"There will be, Liyou." Xu Shanmu patted his hand: "You will have it sooner or later."

"What if not?" Wanliyou smiled at him.

"That's bad luck."

"Then my life is not bad, I still have you." He deliberately disgusted him: "Twilight, the two of us have a good life."

"You can pull it down." Xu Shanmu pushed his hand away and said with a smile: "If those fans of yours know that you don't think about making progress all day long, they just fool around with me. I don't know how to blackmail me."

Wanliyou hugged his neck stubbornly, with a playful expression: "Black is black, who will remember me after a year? I want to start again. Don't run away early. I will sign it for you in the future." Be an entertainer. You can’t regret it.”

The two messed around all the way to the school gate.

Before entering the school, he saw Chu Yun rushing out of the school in a daze, and Zheng Nanguan was behind the young man, and they seemed to be in a hurry.There was an empty taxi just behind him.He stretched out his hand to stop them, Chu Yun hurried out, saw the two of them, and immediately got into the car.

Xu Shanmu was dragged into the car by Wan Liyou with a dazed expression. After getting in the car, he heard Chu Yun's almost crying voice: "City Hospital!"

Even the driver was a little stunned and drove away in a hurry.

If he knew that he would see such a scene when he came, Wan Liyou would never follow him.

Chu Yun walked to a certain ward familiarly, but unfortunately the people inside were no longer there. He looked around in a panic, and finally saw a familiar figure in front of the operating room. It was a strong stranger.Chu Yun seemed to know him, and immediately rushed over. The stranger didn't know what he was talking to the attending doctor... The doctor left a list and left.

Zheng Nanguan pulled Chu Yun who was on the verge of madness, like a lion protecting his companion.

Xu Shanmu and Wanliyou ran a little slower and stood a little further away.

The stranger spoke, his tone was cold and unhuman.

Every word is a sharp knife, drawn into the wind, piercing into such a bleak night with chill and sharpness: "Master Chu, as long as you give up singing and go home to receive training, young master, the Chu family will bear the expenses. If you Persistence, the wife's life has nothing to do with the Chu family."

Zheng Nanguan thought he heard it wrong, and subconsciously stepped forward to shake his fist.This is human life!Their family uses human life as a bargaining chip?

The stranger threw the white list in front of Chu Yun's eyes: "You only have 10 minutes to think about it. The doctor said that illness waits for no one."

Has time stopped?

Should everything stop?

Why can't he sing?

Why can the voice come out but the song cannot be sung?

because!

because!

Because of guilt!

Every time he sings, he will think of his mother's smiling face when he sees him off!

As long as he thinks about singing, he will think of the picture of his guitar being smashed against the wall by his grandfather and cracked in his ear.

As long as he wants to sing, his mind is full of accusations from his family and tears from his mother.

No one allowed him to sing, no one wanted to see him on stage!

Chu Yun opened his eyes in a daze, watching the icy back echoing every step, and hearing the signal of death, he knelt on the ground exhausted, looking at the number on the bill that he couldn't get out.

Broken!

Everything is broken.

"I don't sing!!" The boy yelled at the person who was walking further and further away.

He is already broken, broken in front of reality, he can't sing, he can't sing, he can't say in guilt: "I don't sing anymore!"

The young man roared at the top of his lungs, and was hugged tightly by Zheng Nanguan. He still screamed like death: "Tell grandpa, you tell him, I won't sing anymore!"

He broke down and cried out: "I won't sing anymore! I won't sing in the future!! You tell... ah!!"

His voice was piercing, and every sentence echoed in the abyss of despair.

Invincible.

Pieces shattered.

The winner's smile is always very cruel, and the stranger turned around and sneered: "You have been so obedient for a long time, you..."

Wan Liyou picked up the payment slip in front of Chu Yun's eyes, and said to Zheng Nanguan and Xu Shanmu, "You take care of him, I'll go and pay the money."

The scenery that had lost all color and started to dry up stopped.

Chu Yun's desperate cries also stopped.

Xu Shanmu knelt down and hugged Chu Yun with his hands, and rubbed the back of the child's head with his hands. The young man comforted Chu Yun who was still on the verge of collapse, gently comforting his desperate mood like comforting a frightened bird, Xu Shan Mu's voice is a ray of light breaking through the darkness, it is the hand stretched out from the abyss: "Don't be afraid, Yun Yun."

Zheng Nanguan's heart trembled, and he tightened his arms. He imitated Xu Shanmu's words: "Don't be afraid, Yunyun."

Trembling, his whole body was tense, and the sadness finally appeared between the tear stains. The boy closed his eyes and cried uncontrollably.

Abandoned, walking alone in the dark so far.

He never saw tomorrow.

How could you not be afraid?

Wan Liyou turned the corner and looked up at the stunned stranger in front of him: "Get lost."

Everyone in the world will stab you in a dark corner, but... for fatal wounds, the person who stabs you the deepest is your family.

The lights in the operating room went out.

People, did not come back.

……

When Chu Yun's father appeared, the man finally felt guilty.He didn't dare to look at the sad son who was huddled in the corner over there, and he didn't dare to look at the boys who were with him, so he chose to ignore it.

When leaving the hospital, his father finally stepped forward and stood in front of Chu Yun with his hands behind his back, still looking like an elder.

"Just go home, your mother's incident was just an accident, you..."

The young man lowered his head, his eyes were bloodshot, and when he looked at his father's eyes that were as plain as water, the young man's face was pale and his eyes looked like ghosts. He said viciously, "Why didn't you die? Why didn't you die?!" Yun Yun reached out to grab his father's collar: "It's just you who died."

On the way back to school, Zheng Nanguan kept a not too close or far distance behind him.Xu Shanmu and Wan Liyou were at the end.Looking at Chu Yunyun's appearance like floating clouds and ashes, Wan Liyou asked: "What should I do? What should he do."

Xu Shanmu has not spoken.

In the middle of the night, someone was awakened by a nightmare, habitually put on his clothes, grabbed his stomach, and ran to the toilet to retch.

He took a deep breath, and approached Chu Yun's dormitory with some hesitation. He took out the key from his pocket. There were two slender wires on the key, and the young man habitually pried open the lock.

He only felt the silence in the room, and he stayed at the door for a long time until he was sure that Chu Yun had really fallen asleep.The trembling heart returned to calm.

Quiet is about to turn into nothingness.

I'm such a selfish person, when I give up, I can't control other things, but... others want to give up but don't want to allow it, even if others are living in despair, I also hope that others will live.

Wan Liyou woke up a little uneasy, and found that the person across from him was nowhere to be seen, so he sat up in a startled state, put on his shoes and ran outside in a cold sweat.The cool wind pierced into people's heart like a ghost, and when he opened the door, he saw the thief picking the lock, who was staring at Chu Yun in the room in a daze.

If possible, I sometimes hope that you don't have to worry so much and hurt your nerves.

"Are you restless, Shanmu?"

Xu Shanmu closed the door silently, like a ferryman turning off the lights.

disturbed?no.

It's just that I don't understand. My family is by my side, and they should be the closest people in this world. Why do I hurt each other so much?

Can't perfect your child?

Do not believe in his dreams.

To be that stumbling block on his way forward?

Can't wait to tear people's flesh into pieces in your own hands?

Can't let him go free?

There are many things he doesn't understand, so he is worried about Chu Yun.

Xu Shanmu himself didn't know what it was like to be hurt by his family.

But he knew the feeling of unfulfilled expectations.

He has many questions.

But he didn't say anything, didn't ask anything.

Just quietly closed the door.

Wanliyou didn't get an answer, so he said anxiously: "Don't keep talking."

"Don't wake them up at night." Xu Shanmu stretched out his hand and pushed his elbow: "Go back to sleep. I'll get a cup of hot water for a drink."

"Is it because I'm unreliable?" The boy's voice resounded in the night, like a helpless sigh: "Is it because I'm not reliable enough?"

"Why do you ask me this question?" Xu Shanmu didn't understand the confusion of the young man in front of him, and when he came back from the juncture of life and death, Xu Shanmu found that there were more things he didn't understand.

"Then who do I ask?"

Sensing the gradually changing tone of reproach in the air, Xu Shanmu smiled, he seemed to understand something, turned his head and walked over to hug Wan Liyou: "You are the one who is disturbed."

As if he had been comforted, the young man who was eager to grow up reliably didn't know how to face the person in front of him for a moment, he could only bury his head in his neck, the scalding temperature in the neck was about to burn the boy's skin : "Don't learn such a stupid way from Jinghong."

"It works."

"I'm afraid of you disappearing suddenly every day." Wanliyou is like a child asking for praise: "I have controlled myself during this time, and I didn't lie on your bed with dirty clothes on."

Xu Shanmu smiled when he heard this sentence: "It's okay. You can lie down if you want, our new washing machine has a very good drying function."

"..."

Without waiting for Wan Liyou to speak, Xu Shanmu let go of his hands, turned and leaned aside: "The psychiatrist who was tricked around said something to me, although it was a bit nonsense, but I think it's not bad."

"Ok?"

"He said, if I still can't live for myself now, then living for important people is also a way out." Xu Shanmu squinted and closed his eyes: "Liyou, I like it very much." Autumn is neither too cold nor too hot. Compared with so many flowers and so many bugs in spring, autumn is better. I heard that Quebec, Canada has a beautiful maple forest. Let’s take a vacation next autumn Is it good to see maple leaves in Canada?"

"But I like winter."

"Let's go to Siberia in winter? I heard that the snow scene there is also amazing."

"What about spring?"

"Go to Iceland. I heard that Iceland is like spring all year round. I also want to go to Copenhagen to see the statue of the Little Mermaid. I also want to see Mount Fuji in Japan. I always wear a yukata and I want to go to the hot springs. Switzerland, France, Germany , and Rome, Italy. I also want to go to South America, as well as the sea in Malaysia, and the woods and grass in New Zealand.”

"What about Xia Tian?" Wan Liyou smiled, and immediately laughed out loud when he met Xu Shanmu's disgusted expression: "Why are you so disgusted?"

"In summer, of course I just stay at home with the air conditioner, eat watermelon, and run around on such a hot day."

The two leaned on both sides of the door chatting about the future, Wan Liyou said with a smile: "If we go to all the places you mentioned, we won't be able to finish it for several years."

"Isn't that great?" Xu Shanmu said with a smile, "I have visions for the future, so you can also feel at ease."

Wanliyou could see some seeds that broke out from Xu Shanmu's body, and after the seeds split, they became new buds that bloomed again: "That's right. Then shall we go to Siberia to see the snow this Chinese New Year?"

"Let's go to the hot springs in Japan first. I want to see Mount Fuji, and I want to go to a theme park. I also want to go to the Akihabara Comic Expo first. Don't you like One Piece?" Sashimi, eat ramen. Okay?"

The young man seemed to think of something: "Shout Jinghong and let's go together. If the two of us don't take him to play together, he will definitely make trouble. Are you not afraid to coax him?"

"Xu Qingzhou will definitely take him out to play during the winter vacation, so we don't need to worry about it." Wan Liyou said: "Xu Qingzhou's baby is so precious, he is raising him as a son, and he wrote a song for Jinghong yesterday. Show off. A posture that announces to the world."

"It seems..." Xu Shanmu squeezed his chin: "I have to snatch Jinghong back."

"Shan Mu." Wan Liyou called his name, and said seriously: "I may not like winter, but you are my family, so I have to like you."

"This is really misleading." Xu Shanmu smiled sincerely: "Okay, okay, okay, I like it, and I like you as much as I like Qiu. My big star, are you satisfied?"

"So-so, just wait, I will definitely chase after you." Wan Liyou stretched out his fist at him, raised his chin with a youthful smile: "Even if I can't surpass you, I will never be caught by you again." You throw away."

Xu Shanmu turned around and walked towards the hot water room: "Okay, I'll wait for you at the same place. Don't make me wait too long."

"Fart you to death." The young man hurriedly chased after him, the sky turned pale, and Wan Liyou discovered something wrong with the genius in the half-bright sky.

He stretched out his hand to support the weakness that the man hadn't noticed, and reached out to touch the boy's forehead, which should have been discovered just now.

"Are you having nightmares again?"

"Yeah." Xu Shanmu poured water down his stomach, turned his head to look at the gradually brightening sky, and felt that all the strength in his body was taken away by the sun, turning into the color of light illuminating the sky.He blinked some dry and out-of-focus eyes and said: "I'm not going to the hospital. You can buy me some medicine." He closed his eyes and began to diagnose himself: "Maybe it's because today, no, it was because I saw Yun Yun's house yesterday. I saw the mother who was looking for her daughter and had nightmares again at night, and I was frightened. I was just a little scared."

Xu Shanmu reached out to wipe off the cold sweat on his forehead, feeling drowsy like losing his soul, and said to the fallen leaves outside the window, "Autumn is really good."

Before he fell into darkness, he heard Wanliyou's voice: "Shanmu, go to sleep, you are safe now."

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