The teenagers in the broken shimmer dance with the wind

"Why do you suddenly belittle yourself?" Xu Shanmu took out a book from the drawer with a smile, and flipped through it casually: "The things about your parents can't be the reason for your depravity."

"..." Tao Wangyan was a little ashamed, he was once again seen through by Xu Shanmu.

He turned to a page and read in a voice like the breeze: Yet, recuperating in solitude, widows discover that an honest way of life is actually following the wishes of their bodies, eating when they are hungry, and not lying when they love , When you sleep, you don’t have to pretend to be asleep in order to escape the shameful love program. You have finally become the master of the whole bed, and all of it is yours alone. No one will compete with them for half the sheets, half the air and half the bed. At night, even the body can finally enjoy its own dreams, and can wake up naturally and alone. 】--"Love in the Time of Cholera"

Some words are like a cracked thermos... broken pieces, hot pieces.

Tao Wangyan looked at Xu Shanmu in astonishment, Xu Shanmu raised his head and smiled lightly: "Love is the most complicated thing in this world, because two people's hearts are intertwined, or even more than two, think about it, so many people's hearts are intertwined. Together..." He sneered, "How could it be...clean."

"You are your own hope." Stretching out a hand like a dead branch that was about to wither, Xu Shanmu rubbed his forehead and said, "Everyone can only be their own hope. You can call your parents jerks, say They are not things, you can ignore them, deny them, even take a knife to retaliate against their indifference, and hate the harm they have caused you over the years, but as a child, you are not qualified to say that your parents are selfish, after all, childbearing is a lifetime It’s a great grace that is still unclear. They can only be their own hope.” Xu Shanmu’s hand trembled unconsciously, he withdrew it in astonishment, recalling many past events that made him shiver, and he said With a hint of insidiousness and coldness in his eyes: "Some people are not even worthy of being human, how can they be worthy of being parents."

Seeing Tao Wangyan's increasingly ugly face, Xu Shanmu gently closed his eyes, knowing that he had stepped on the line again, he closed the book, and said, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said this to you."

Tao Wangyan shook his head, and smiled dejectedly: "Shanmu, do you think my parents have ever truly loved each other?" His eyes were red, and he was about to shed tears: "If you are in love, why did you become like this? I originally thought it was my father's fault, but later I found out that my mother is not innocent either, she has someone outside." The boy frowned: "I only found out when I read the report today..."

He asked: "If they didn't love each other, why were they together in the first place?"

Genius doesn't understand this question. He doesn't know Tao Mo and Tao Wangyan's mother, let alone love, and he has never experienced marriage. All he understands is the word "people's heart". Yan's shoulder: "Because people will be disappointed."

"disappointment?"

"No matter how much I like it, I don't like it because of disappointment. Your parents are disappointed in each other, so... you don't like it anymore." He said: "I don't have parents, so I don't understand these things."

"Then... do you want a home?" Tao Wangyan asked him.

"I think." Tao Wangyan treated each other with sincerity, and he also replied with sincerity: "But... what I want is a family, a complete family, and there must be no falsehood." The boy's eyes overflowed with viciousness and disgust. , obvious and fleeting: "If there is, I will destroy it with my own hands. I don't want fakes, I want real."

Tao Wangyan clenched his fists: "Not even a little fake?"

"Well, not at all." He smiled brightly and brightly, like a big pear blossom on a branch.

Tao Wangyan looked at the book in his arms, and reached out to take it: "Can you lend me this?"

"Okay." Xu Shanmu smiled lazily: "But this book is a bit...boring."

"I want to see." The boy's eyes flashed with determination.

He had reminded Tao Wangyan that he hadn't changed his mind, so he handed the book over.

Holding the book in his arms, Tao Wangyan raised his eyes and took a careful look at Xu Shanmu: "You won't be as lukewarm to me as before."

"I try my best."

"What do you mean by doing the best you can?" Tao Wangyan could clearly feel that he was much more exhausted than before, and worried that he was sore like tears, so he went to check the temperature on his head anxiously: "Why hasn't your temperature dropped yet?" ? Do you want to go to the hospital?"

"Maybe the doctor is disrespectful." Xu Shanmu avoided his cold hands on his head, he was not used to getting close to others, he patted the boy's arm: "Go back, sleep well, after a while These things will disappear. There is a saying called a cycle of 72 days, and after 72 days, it is difficult to bring up any big gossip."

"Really?"

"You can look it up online."

Tao Wangyan shook his head, and lay down on his desk willfully: "I'll stay with you for a while. Don't chase me away."

"Are you still relying on me? You really have the same virtue as Wan Liyou."

"Although you don't have a good word to say, you are the only one who will tell me these things. Others will only say don't be sad. Only you can analyze those things for me. I can't refute them even if I want to. I can only accept the reality. Only you can tell me these things."

"Well, it sounds like I'm such a big bastard." Xu Shanmu closed his eyes, and started to sleep lazily.

"Shan Mu..." Although he doesn't understand a lot about the genius in front of him, he also understands that at this time, except for Xu Shanmu who can rely on him, no one else can pull him out of the abyss: "Although I am annoyed by your attitude , but... I can only call to you for help. Thank you."

Xu Shanmu did not answer.

Thinking of him and Wan Liyou lying under the bright stars many years ago, they looked at the lights of the city quietly, as if they were in another world, isolated from the world.The boy took his elbow and asked with sadness in his eyes: "If I'm not a child star, I don't know how to make money, and I'm useless, will my parents not need me anymore?"

Xu Shanmu, who has never experienced his parents' family, can't answer this question.

He could only rub the boy's forehead and tell him that no matter what your parents do, that's their choice.

And you deserve to be loved...

It should be like this: Let the son stand in front of his father and ask him seriously: "Father, tell me why I should love you? Father, you have to prove to me that I should love you." ——If the father answers If he can come up and prove it to him, then this is a real and normal father-son relationship, not maintained by mere mystical prejudices, but based on reason, sobriety and strict humanity.On the contrary, if the father cannot prove it—the family is over; he is no longer the father of the son, and the son is free from now on, and has the right to regard his father as a stranger or even an enemy. 】——The Brothers Karamazov

Not everyone is qualified to be called a parent.

Tao Wangyan sat quietly in other people's dormitory until the cool night, and finally the uneasiness in his heart disappeared, and everything returned to zero. He found that the damage caused by his parents was healing at the speed of the tide.

all fake.

Since it is fake, there is no need to miss it.

He turned his head to look at Xu Shanmu who was leaning motionlessly in the corner over there, looked at his watch, at least he had been sitting here for two hours.Under the light, the man's face was abnormally pale, and he boldly reached out to touch his shoulder. When he was still a finger away, Xu Shanmu lowered his eyes and opened his eyes: "Why?"

"You didn't sleep."

"I sleep too much during the day."

"You are so quiet." Tao Wangyan squatted down beside his bed, frowned at his thin chin and abnormal complexion: "Let's go to the hospital, I think you are more serious than before."

Xu Shanmu shook his head with a smile, and was about to say something when he heard a commotion and jumping in the corridor.

The door was pushed open, and the little fairy appeared on the stage with a whole body of joy and a hand of food. Xu Shanmu smiled when he saw him: "I had a good time playing today."

The little fairy smiled sweetly like candied fruit, nodded without saying a word, jumped to his side happily and put down the food in his hand: "Forget it, you won't go shopping by yourself, I saved half of my stomach to come back with you Eating wontons. Liyou said that they will practice more and won't come back tonight." Ruo Jinghong leaned forward and blinked his eyes with joy, "I'll accompany you tonight. Let's sleep together."

"How old are you, do you still want to sleep with someone?" Xu Shanmu patted his head, took the wontons he handed over, and the little god sat on his bed generously, looking at Tao Wang who was blocking the way. Yan said, "Go over there. Hey? Why are you here?"

"Come here to borrow books."

Ruo Jinghong glanced at the person in front of him with disgust: "Just you? Are you still reading? Go, go, go back to your dormitory, I want to talk to Shan Mu."

Before Tao Wangyan could react, Ruo Jinghong turned his head to see Xu Shanmu's lack of appetite, and immediately picked up one from his bowl and fed it to his mouth: "Shan Mu, Shan Mu, eat and see me This, this one is especially delicious with seafood flavor, try it."

Xu Shanmu ate it eagerly, just after swallowing it, Ruo Jinghong pestered him and said, "Eat another one from your bowl, let's see which one is delicious."

Knowing what he meant, he just pretended to be fooled and ate it.

"Which one is delicious?"

Xu Shanmu pointed to the one in his bowl and said, "The shrimps are still delicious."

"Then you eat more." He leaned closer to him again: "My mother said that people who are sick should eat more, so that the elves in your stomach will have strength, and only when they have strength can they move. Get up, and you will be comfortable." A way to coax a child.

Tao Wangyan held the book and turned to look at Xu Qingzhou who was parked at the door: "What are you doing standing at the door? Why don't you come in?"

Xu Qingzhou looked serious: "He seems to be staying here to sleep tonight?"

"We used to sleep together when we were in the main school." Ruo Jinghong sighed: "Liyou even quarreled with me because of this matter."

"And then?" Tao Wangyan looked at him, Ruo Jinghong looked angry: "Liyou said that I should not sleep with someone else at such an age, it's not good, and then he bought me a bed toy, told me to find a toy to play with."

Tao Wangyan always felt that something was wrong when he heard it, but he couldn't tell what was wrong, so he could only sit on the chair, folded his arms and complained: "The relationship between the three of you is really tortuous."

"What's so twisty, it's just like a father coaxing his son." Xu Qingzhou sighed, walked into the dormitory, pinched Ruo Jinghong's cheek and said, "I'm your father now, go, go back with Dad."

"What father. Get out." Ruo Jinghong put down the wonton in his hand, reached out to pat his hand: "It hurts, it hurts."

"Scream daddy and let it go."

"How old are you, naive or not."

Tao Wangyan half leaned on the desk to watch, then stretched out his arms to hug Ruo Jinghong: "Jinghong, I'll buy you toys too, and I'll be your father too."

"Start them all for me." The little god was angry.

Two more heads poked in from outside the door, it was Zheng Nanguan and Chu Yun who came back from watching the play: "What are you guys doing? What father?"

He Zhi and Yue Chengen who went back to the house to put away the bag also opened the door, He Zhi sighed: "Jinghong was so noisy when he came back."

"What do you mean, why, you want to fight, don't you?"

"Don't worry, what's going on here, it's late at night." Yue Chengen stopped He Zhi who was about to barge in: "Calm down, all of you."

The two people who were taking a penalty kick on the basketball court downstairs heard the noise from the dormitory. Huang Chuanhui dragged Li Yuanzhi quickly to the window and shouted to the upstairs, "You guys are frying the pot. It's too noisy."

The window was opened, and Tao Wangyan shouted joyfully to the downstairs: "You two are arguing!!"

Because the atmosphere was so good, Xu Shanmu watched the show and ate all the wontons in the bowl one after another, and his complexion improved a bit.

Tao Wangyan turned his head to see that the bowl in his hand was empty, and then looked at Ruo Jinghong who was acting like a baby to Xu Qingzhou and not going back to the dormitory...

Everyone likes something beautiful and joyful.

I am like this, so is Xu Shanmu...

A genius is just a genius, and a genius is also a human being.

In the end, if Jinghong won three hours, he would stay here until the early morning, and he had to go back after Xu Shanmu fell asleep.

Xu Qingzhou, who went back to the dormitory alone, was a little bored, so he could only read the lyrics book in his hand over and over again, and listened to the old songs continuously.

Zheng Nanguan leaned on the head of the bed to meditate, and after an hour, he found that Xu Qingzhou, who had always been calm, was inexplicably anxious.

"Isn't it that Jinghong didn't come back, what are you doing? Are you afraid that Xu Shanmu will bring him down?"

Xu Qingzhou looked bored: "I'm not afraid that Xu Shanmu will bring him down, I'm just afraid that he will stay there and refuse to come back." He sat down cross-legged on the bed, facing Zheng Nanguan and said, "Why is Jinghong like this? Relying on Xu Shanmu? You used to belong to the head school, I don't know, you should know a little bit."

"What are you talking about?" The door was pushed open and Chu Yun walked in holding a plate of grapes.

Zheng Nanguan went to the side and asked him to come and sit down: "When you talk about the principal..."

Before the words were finished, Chu Yun grabbed the conversation: "Are you promoting Jinghong's grand occasion?"

"grand occasion?"

The young man smiled and bent his eyebrows, and explained to himself: "He was also very famous in the main school back then. I studied hard and heard his name. After all... he looks like that, and he is the number one in the country. one."

Chu Yun fell into memory, with a look of nostalgia: "When he reported the performance back then, he danced a piece of "Peach Demon".

"The next day, someone posted on the forum. I read the popular science in the forum. Jinghong's dance is all about fairies, ghosts and monsters. It is unique even in the classical dance department with a lot of masters. I heard it from our dance academy. The teacher said that the dance music that Jinghong danced, except for him himself, no one else can even touch it. He is the leader.”

Zheng Nanguan, who was peeling grape skins and moving slowly, also added: "His ability to express emotions with his body is too strong. You haven't seen it. After "Peach Demon" was skipped, many boys in the main school blushed when they saw him, and sent them away. Number, straight man beheaded."

Xu Qingzhou only laughed after hearing this: "This is all a mess."

Zheng Nanguan said: "His kind of beauty makes people unable to feel blasphemous. The kind of feeling presented is more like the beauty of nature worthy of awe, like flowering branches, sunsets, fairylands, and mountain ghosts." The face is dreamy: "He danced "Mountain Ghost" in the mid-term exam last year. He is dressed in black ink painting in Tsing Yi, so beautiful."

"Aren't you unwilling to watch him dance? Why do you enjoy it so much when you think about it now?" Xu Qingzhou put his chin on one hand and looked disgusted: "You don't slap your face."

"..."

"..."

"You'll understand after watching it once..." Chu Yun sighed: "When he really concentrates on interpreting it...it's beautiful. Even if you think it's unfair, you can't deny that the kid dances well."

"Do you know Huangci?" Xu Qingzhou recalled the senior he saw at school last time, and also remembered those bad things: "Jinghong seems to be bullied by him."

"Huangci." The two looked at each other, and Chu Yun asked, "Is it that senior?"

"Yeah." Zheng Nanguan said: "It should be him, he is still a member of the student union, I have heard that he is a person with a good accent."

"When I accompanied Jinghong back to school, Jinghong told me that he was the one who led him when he was cold and violent... You said that Jinghong and Xu Shanmu are so good..."

"Let me tell you." Chu Yun stared at him: "Can you calm down a little, your son won't be snatched away. Shan Mu can't deal with Li You alone, how could he handle two of them?"

"No..." Xu Qingzhou said hesitantly: "I'm not worried about what Xu Shanmu will do to my son."

"Then what are you worried about?" Zheng Nanguan didn't understand the twists and turns in his words, and asked him with a smile: "Aren't you worried about Xu Shanmu, why are you bored here?"

"You deserve to be able to play together, the two of you are just wood."

"..."

"..."

Chu Yun gave him a blank look: "We kindly told you about the past, what's your attitude?"

Xu Qingzhou sighed softly and said, "Don't you think that Jinghong is very dependent on Xu Shanmu? He is the first to run to him when he has anything to do. When he is unhappy, he can't dance well, and his body feels uncomfortable. It's all habitual. Don't you think it's abnormal to rely on Xu Shanmu?"

"What?" Zheng Nanguan joked, "It's normal for him to rely on you, right?"

"That's not what I mean." Xu Qingzhou sighed, worried and helpless:

"Do you think that things like school violence are really a thing of the past?"