[Comprehensive] Escape from shame is useless

Chapter 47 It's All My Fault

"It seems that if we continue to talk about it, it's just playing the piano to the cow." Jinjing stopped talking nonsense, turned his head and took Jasmine's hand: "Jasmine, before it's time to leave school, come with me to the principal's office to go through the school transfer procedures .”

However, the girl didn't move, but bowed her head and said something.It's just that the voice is so low that no one can hear it except herself.

"What did you say?" Jin Jing asked with a smile.

"I said no, I don't want to transfer schools." She didn't shake off her friend's hand, but stood stubbornly on the spot, trying to raise her face, trying to let her friend see her serious expression at the moment.

"Are you refusing to go back with me?" she asked again in disbelief.

"Yes, I won't go back." It was still the soft voice, but Jasmine's attitude was exceptionally firm.

"You reject me? You reject me?"

Jasmine also, the perfect existence in her memory, unexpectedly rejected her request.

Kanai couldn't help himself in shock.

In her memory, Jasmine was always so good-tempered, so good that nothing seemed to touch her bottom line.No matter what you say to her, she will smile softly, then tilt her head and say "Okay" sweetly back to you.

When having a meal together, she will be very happy if she chooses a restaurant she likes, and she will laugh happily when eating.But if she chooses a restaurant she doesn't like, she will not express her dissatisfaction, but try to eat all the dishes she ordered, so as not to waste the chef's efforts, and not to embarrass the friends who chose the restaurant.

When being entrusted by others, regardless of whether there is anything else at hand, I will always put my own affairs behind and give priority to other people's affairs.Wait until the things promised to others are completed, and then slowly do what you originally wanted to do.

As a member of the club, she conscientiously completed every training plan formulated by the ministry, allowing her to do whatever she was asked to do, basically hitting wherever she pointed.As a friend, she also responds to all her requests, and fulfills her every wish as much as possible.

For Kanai Miwa, this kind of Jasmine is also perfect, the one who stands in front of the finish line, the one who will definitely reach the realm of seamlessness one day.

Instead of being like this now——

"No, you have to go back with me immediately, and if you stay here any longer, your path will become more and more crooked."

She learned badly and learned to ignore their words. This incident made Jin Jing, who was always calm, extremely anxious.

She was afraid that if she was allowed to stay any longer, the shadow she had been watching, waiting for, and yearning for would disappear inexplicably.

"Miyu, I've let you down." Jasmine also held her friend's hand behind her back, forcing herself not to look away because of the other's painful expression.She knew that Meiyu was doing it for her own good, and she also knew that maybe what she said was right, but she still couldn't go back.

She is not as good as Mei Yu said, what is seamless, what is natural.

Minister Ichinose's words are true, she is just a coward who is afraid of making choices.

She was so afraid of hurting others that she almost lost her ability to judge everything.

If others come to him for help and he refuses, will he get into trouble because of this matter?

What should I do if I strike too hard and my opponent is beaten to the point where he no longer wants to play, or is beaten to tears?

If you don't like the gift a friend gives you, will your friend be unhappy or sad?

in case……

If there are so many things in front of her, every choice she makes is willing.Because of the pain of being hurt, she knows better than anyone else, so no matter what the situation is, she has no way to stand on the side of the perpetrator.I would rather reverse my position than let others experience the same sadness as myself.

But this time, she ruined the whole summer of Shiina Haruka and Mogu Middle School Women's Nets Department in keeping with the agreement with the minister and fulfilling the choice of Mogu Middle School.

this is not your fault.

No matter who kept talking in her ear, it didn't help at all.

Like a nightmare from which she would never wake up, she was trapped in this blame-filled dream, locked on a stage from which she would never get out.And in the auditorium, countless people whose faces could not be clearly seen were loud or whispering, saying the same thing over and over again——

it was all your fault.

So, she grew up to be like this, a gentle and amiable old man.

It's like a perfect and exquisite altruist, a puppet customized as neutral and kind, responding without a bottom line to all the demands imposed on her by the people around her.

Gradually, they stopped discussing with her and told her the result of the matter directly.

Slowly, they began to ignore her own demands, because she would never get angry no matter what she did.

The people around her gradually became more and more assertive and domineering unknowingly, and this was nothing more than being tempered into this appearance during their daily relationship with her.

Masamune is like this, and so is Miwa.

Because of this, my wife Yuno's consistency over the years is particularly precious.

No matter what happened, she was the only one who asked her - "what do you want to do" instead of making decisions for her.

It's a pity that Yuno gave her such a long time, but she still couldn't take a single step.

Perhaps, this time is an opportunity.

Whether it's the blessing of the gods or doing what she promised, she just needs a reason, a straw to support her spirit that is about to collapse.

"Compared to me, do you agree with this person's aura as a minister?" Miwa pointed at Ichinose impolitely, and asked through gritted teeth.

"No, it's not a question of who is right and who is wrong." She almost exhausted all her strength in these words.

No, Miu is angry, Miu must be very sad, I am hurting Miu, I can't treat her like this.

It's okay, she's not that fragile, she's your friend, you have to trust her.

In her mind, the two voices were confronting each other, making her head ache after another, even if she gritted her teeth and clenched her fists, it was useless.

"Since there are differences, let's resolve them through competition. Aren't you all tennis players?"

Outside the tennis court, Yuno, who was standing there at some unknown time, walked in.

"I've already won." Miu didn't know her, but that didn't prevent her from stating the facts.

"Minister Kanai, the battle between the ministers has been resolved, but isn't the disagreement between Kanai Miha and Kuroki Jasmine still unresolved?" She walked to Jasmine's side very naturally, as if she was talking to Jinjing , with the help of the cover of the body, he used his right hand to forcefully break away Jasmine's fingers that had also been pinched into the flesh.

"Yuno..." Her vision was a little blurred, she raised her head to look at Yuno's side face, and the tight string in her mind was slowly loosened.She took a deep breath and said to Miha:

"Miha, do you want to fight?"

For tennis players, communication on the court is far more intuitive and easier to feel than verbal communication.The more top-level players are, the more they can feel the opponent's way of thinking and ideas from every look, every movement, and every shot of the opponent.Needless to say, Jasmine who could feel her opponent's thinking through tennis, as the top young player in Japan, Miwa Kanai was no exception.

"If I win, are you willing to go back with me?"

Faced with this question, Jasmine was also noncommittal: "Let's wait until you win."

There have been countless competitions between them.But this time, it has a different meaning.

According to Jinjing's understanding, this competition has too many distracting thoughts, she can't agree with it and doesn't want to agree with it.But if you want to take her back, this is the first step, and a step that must be taken.

Not only did she want to win, but she also wanted to convince Jasmine to lose.

In this way, she will understand her painstaking efforts, and will go back with her willingly.

However, Jin Jing didn't know what she was thinking, and Jasmine knew it clearly from the beginning.They have been together for two full years, and she can see through what Meiyu is thinking at a glance.

Because she was not good at expressing her own opinions, Jasmine was far more sensitive than others in observing the emotions of others.She may be a little slow to deal with malice, but she seldom discerns mistakes when it comes to good intentions.This seems to be a strange partiality, a weird mindset.

When evaluating a person, Jasmine would always discover the other person's strengths immediately, and subconsciously magnify the strengths, to the extent that they could even cover up that person's weaknesses.Judging from the results, it is very easy for her to have a good impression of people, she can easily trust and love, and she rarely hates someone just because of one or two things.

Similarly, when it comes to other people's interference with her, her first reaction is always to understand the original intention of the other party's good intentions.Even if the result is not so satisfactory, even if it will hurt her in the end, she can always go straight to the essence at the first time, feel the other party's kindness, and forgive the other party's mistakes.

【It's not their fault, it's just a mistake.So I can forgive them, they are all for my own good. 】

[They are not trying to control my life, they are just helping me choose the path that suits me best. 】

[Everyone is a good person, but they each have their own difficulties and their own obsessions. 】

【It's only me who is wrong, I just want to stay where I am. 】

"Jasmine too."

Before walking onto the field, Yuno called her to stop.Jasmine also turned her head to look at her. There was no strong will to say goodbye to the past in her eyes. Instead, she seemed to be shrouded in a thick fog, unable to see the direction of the future.

"Don't worry, take your time. It doesn't matter whether you win or lose, what matters is the process, right?"

process?

She turned her head to look at Mei Yu who was already waiting in the opposite field, the latter had been watching her figure without changing.

What do I want to convey, what do I want to tell her?

What I want to do, the way I want to go, what if I hurt her?

Yuno said that these are not important, what is important is the process.

"Yeah...well, um, I'll try my best. So Yuno, that..."

Also as a friend for many years, Yuno also immediately understood her inner struggle at the moment.

"Let's go eat ramen tonight."

Jasmine also opened her eyes slightly, as if she didn't expect to hear such a sentence.

"Well, that's settled."

However, this will do the trick.

Come on, Jasmine, this is me, this is something we can't do for you, you have to come out with your own strength.

[If you don’t do anything, you can’t start anything. 】

【She couldn't forgive herself because the person who could forgive her, the person who should have apologized to her, died in front of her because of that accident.So she can only forgive others constantly, and her spirit tells her that only by doing so can she be redeemed.However, this is just an empathy, a psychological escape mechanism.Let her go on like this, she will never get out of the shadow of that day. 】

【My wife, do you really hope that she will never be redeemed? 】

no, i hope-

She can be happy.

The author has something to say: Although it was only forced, this halo incident was an opportunity for Jasmine to change the past.

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