Do not lie to me

"how did you guys meet?"

Ji Shuping looked at the curtain on the top of the bed, but still stretched out his hand, and took Shang Xuechen's hand, probably so that his hand would not shake when he spoke. "I'll tell you from the beginning, it will be a very long story, do you want to listen?"

Shang Xuechen was lying on the bed like him, looking at the curtains on the top of the bed, "You tell me, it's a bedtime story."

"Then you grab my hand."

Shang Xuechen was silent for a while, then took Ji Shuping's hand back and let his story begin.

"My mother was strict with me since I was a child. Although she hated the traditional dictatorship of the Shao family, she came out of such an environment after all, so I was also brought up in the traditional education model brought by her from the Shao family. My father seems to be I can’t say anything about it, but every time I get punished, he cooks me a delicious meal. Dad always just smiles at me, and doesn’t seem to be troubled.”

When Ji Shuping was a child, every time when he was downcast, he would see his father smiling gently at him in the backlit corridor where he was punished for standing, as if the fear that had just started in his heart was completely dispelled by this smile.He always relies on that kind of smile. In his opinion, his father's tenderness is the only foundation of this family, supporting all the warmth that home should mean.The courage brought to him is like a flower blooming in the corner of the garden, irrigated by the only gentleness at home, and it is bright alone in the backlight.

Recalling the warm place, Ji Shuping brought out a smile from the heart, "After being punished, I saw my father smiling and beckoning me to the kitchen. The punishment has become less scary."

Shang Xuechen is not a qualified silent listener, and let the story unfold, he couldn't help but interject, "Do you look like your father?"

Ji Shuping, however, thanked him for interjecting, allowing himself to pause, so as not to suffer from the sequelae caused by the short-lived warmth, and to immerse himself in the sorrow that surged up in the past, "Maybe it doesn't look like me. They say I look like my mother."

Shang Xuechen turned his head to look at him, remembering that the first time we met, his acting skills were terrible and his smile was fake, "Why do you always force yourself to laugh? You obviously smile ugly."

"Because my mother doesn't smile often, but my father often laughs. When I was young, I hoped to hear people say that I look like my father. Later, I didn't want to be told who I looked like. I just wanted to experience happiness for myself. I failed to experience it successfully. When I met you, I should have experienced it.”

Shang Xuechen tilted his head, "Is it?"

That's right, I've slept with him, I'm so skilled, it's a ghost if I'm not happy.That's what Shang Xuechen thought in his heart. He himself told Ji Shuping that there will be happiness in sex/love.

Ji Shuping turned over, hugged Shang Xuechen tightly, and put his chin on his heart, "I was a little happy when you said you wanted to hug me."

Surrounded by him, Shang Xuechen blushed a little guilty because he was shamelessly thinking about sex just now, and didn't care about his hug, only urging him to continue talking.

"I have never been able to understand why they got married. Basically since I can remember, they slept in separate rooms. When I was young, the family was barely harmonious. It was a bit deserted but it was peaceful. The conversation between parents had nothing to say except the company. Said, not even a daily greeting."

"When I was 16 years old, I don't know when they started to have conflicts because of the company's operations. After a few quarrels and falling things, my dad was suddenly diagnosed with bipolar disorder."

Hearing this, Shang Xuechen's heart tightened, and he asked him, "Is your father's illness real?"

Ji Shuping lowered his head and buried his face in Shang Xuechen's hair and replied, "I don't know."

Shang Xuechen put his arms around Ji Shuping's waist, which means that his father is probably not sick.Ji Shuping also said that his illness was bipolar disorder, if he read correctly Ji Shuping's illness should be faking, why faking bipolar disorder should be related to his father's affairs.The heredity of bipolar disorder is very high, no matter from the psychology or the environment, it is very reasonable to pretend to be this disease.

But was he persecuted like his father?If he was persecuted like his father, would his mother be so cruel?In order to monopolize the company, he named his father a mental illness, and the same for his son?Even if he did this to his father, he probably wouldn't do this to Ji Shuping, he was his own son.Is it because he is afraid that Ji Shuping will seize power when he becomes an adult?To make him obedient?If you can prevent this, you don't need to name people mentally ill. If you retire in the future, the board of directors will not ask someone with a history of mental illness to be the chairman. Who will the company give it to?

Shang Xuechen's mind was spinning, and suddenly he remembered that his current company could be called Ji's Real Estate!The company name is Ji!The media did not reveal Ji Shuping's history of mental illness, that is to say, it wasn't his mother's plan to block Ji Shuping's life.Ji Shuping opened his own planning company. Could it be that Ji Shuping has no intention of inheriting Ji's real estate?Did Ji Shuping pretend to be sick? !why?

He tightened his arms around Ji Shuping, looked up at Ji Shuping, and met his eyes, but he couldn't see anything in his eyes.Shang Xuechen looked at him obsessively and thought, this is the person who always upset him, he thought he could understand everything, remembered the movement he got tonight, looked up at Ji Shuping's dark eyes, It turned out that he didn't understand anything.

Ji Shuping looked down at Shang Xuechen, and continued, "My dad was locked up at home, and my mom went to the company to work as usual. Later, my dad begged me to let him out." The voice behind him became smaller and smaller.

"You let it go?" Shang Xuechen asked him.

"Well, I let it go. But he will come back before my mother comes home. My father still smiles as usual when he sees me, and has never been irritable."

"Because you don't believe your dad is sick?"

"I'm not sure. He always goes out, and I don't feel at ease. So I followed him secretly and found him in an entertainment venue."

Shang Xuechen closed his eyes and stood next to him, convinced of his guess that the girl in Hang Qing's photo was probably Ji Shuping's girlfriend.

"I was under 18 at the time, so I couldn't get in. I ran into my uncle by chance, and my uncle took me in. I was mainly concerned about my father. My uncle said I couldn't sit alone and asked someone to cover me. The person I found later became my girlfriend. My dad often goes there, and I often go with him. Suddenly, my mom stopped locking up my dad, and my dad still went. The atmosphere at home was terrible. Every time I followed my dad to the clubhouse, that girl was with me, and I later found out that she was the same age as me. We chatted a lot, and gradually got to know each other, and we got closer."

"Why does your father always go to that entertainment club? And have you ever thought that your uncle may have deliberately brought that girl to approach you and revenge on your mother?" Xuechen was uneasy.

"Actually, my father and my mother were fighting for the actual control of the company. When the company was established, the money belonged to my father, and the resources belonged to my mother. They were regarded as having equal rights. Later, when they fought, even though my mother did not have the Shao family's Dashu, my dad won’t beat my mom even if he is rich. After all, he was born like that. My dad often laughs, not only to me at home, but also to his subordinates in the company. He is a gentle person in the eyes of others. Later I learned that he often laughed happily, not because of his gentle personality, but because he was taking hallucinogens. He often went to the club to buy medicine."

All tenderness is an illusion on the surface, the warm base that supports the home is broken, and everything is broken.The flowers in the backlight are watered with fake nutrient solution, and withering is a natural development.

"So your mother didn't make up a disease for your father just to take charge of the company, maybe it was to find an excuse to get your father to quit drugs?" Of course Shang Xuechen didn't think his mother had such a thoughtful plan, just listened Ji Shuping's voice was cold, and he deliberately covered it up.

It's just that Ji Shuping has long been too lazy to hide it, and the more excuses he has, the more tired he feels.

"My mother didn't know about his drug use. If my mother knew, my father would not have had the opportunity to argue with her in the first place. I followed him to the club to find out. It was the girl my uncle brought to tell me about this club. In fact, there are drugs for sale. Only I found out the fact that he was taking drugs, but I didn't say anything, and I didn't stop him from taking drugs. I know that drug addiction can't be quit, and I don't want him to be completely locked up by my mother Get up and never see the light of day. If he is so miserable that he must take medicine to get a little happiness, then don't let him wake up, and the soul will run counter to the body when he is awake, and the pain will be even more painful."

He sneered, "In my heart, the warm image of my dad has always been fake. His smile on me is not a loving father, but just a by-product of the drug. In this family, the relationship between parents and husband is just to cater to the shopping mall. The family of three The tidiness and warmth is just pretending to be pretty. The moment I knew my dad was taking drugs, I had quit my expectation of his warm smile. There is no warmth in this family that can keep me. "

"Shang Xuechen, am I bad? If I told about my dad taking drugs at that time, maybe he would have a chance to wake up from the drugs? It's just because I no longer have expectations for him, so I just watched and he fell."

People in this world who are willing to sink and not save themselves are not worthy of others' help.

"Are you regretting the youthful rebellion back then? Ji Shuping, it's useless to regret what you have done. People's hearts are difficult to understand, and sometimes your own heart is also difficult to understand. If you have done it, you have done it. If you don't want to regret it Don't pretend to be pious about things. I am not a very noble person, so I am not qualified to touch the top of your head and say forgiveness."

Ji Shuping stretched out his hand to touch his auricle, along the ear bone to the root of the ear, the earlobe was hard and small, he was not a person with soft ears.He bit the tip of Shang Xuechen's ear, "Why do you know I don't regret it?"

"Then let me ask you, have you ever regretted raped me?"

"No." The answer was quick and affirmative.

"That's the end of it. That time you only explained the coincidence, and you didn't seem to feel guilty at all. And you did it more than once that time. I think you were very happy, so how could you have any regrets? You went from attacking to Bind your hands, the action is crisp and neat, not impulsive, probably the plan in my mind has been rehearsed several times. I don’t blame you, except for the money you gave, it’s also because what I did to you was not a good person. Know that we are not kind."

This world is not kind to anyone.Therefore, good people are always limited, and love is also limited. It only depends on who owes whom and the debts that are repaid.

Ji Shuping licked his ear, and his voice leaked into his cochlea, "Shang Xuechen, the most comfortable place to stay with you is that you don't have to hide, don't pretend to be on the side of ethics, anyway. You never believed it. You were right, I had a blast that time, especially in the later part that you don’t remember, did you see the earthworms that came out of the mud after the rain? We were like that , entangled, the bed we are lying on now is the mud we have sunk into. I don’t regret it because I seemed to see your sincerity that time.”

Shang Xuechen loosened his arms around Ji Shuping's waist, Ji Shuping probably sensed it, and hugged him even tighter, pretending to be pitiful to get Shang Xuechen's hug back, "I'm a little cold."

"I'm going to turn up the air conditioner." As he said that, he was about to get up and get out of bed.

Ji Shuping hugged him and failed to make him move, "Can't we have some fun with the performance?"

Shang Xuechen was held in his arms, thinking about our relationship, why I have to cooperate, and then thinking, forget it, just this time, "Let go of me first."

Ji Shuping hesitantly let go of his hand, Shang Xuechen didn't get up, but turned around and groped for the corner of the quilt, dragged the corner of the quilt to lie on Ji Shuping's chest, covered the quilt with Ji Shuping and turned over together, making the two of them tightly together Rolled in the quilt, rolled into a strip of seaweed sandwich.

Ji Shuping raised the corner of his mouth and pulled Shang Xuechen into his arms again, and Shang Xuechen tapped his forehead to knock his chin, still a little displeased with his compromise, "Don't shout hot later! "

Ji Shuping reached out his hand to cover his red forehead, "Are you a woodpecker that treats me like a tree?"

Shang Xuechen scratched his nose and "hummed", showing his disdain for Ji Shuping's cold joke.

Ji Shuping rubbed his head and continued to play dumb, "Don't woodpeckers peck trees with their beaks? You also use your beaks."

Hearing this, Shang Xuechen couldn't bear it anymore, thinking it was really embarrassing to you.He stretched out his hand and twisted Ji Shuping's waist, "Don't push yourself too hard, you kissed so hard just now, I haven't settled the score with you yet."

Ji Shuping only regarded Shang Xuechen's pinching as a minor disturbance, and it didn't hurt much anyway, "It's good to be able to make progress, it's regarded as being favored by others."

Shang Xuechen opened his mouth, and the words wound around his throat a few times before he could get out. Ji Shuping hooked the back of his head so that he could bury his face in his chest, "Just this time, don't say anything about accommodating or compensating. Just This time, it counts as a preference."

Shang Xuechen closed his eyes, put his face on his chest and sighed softly, "Just this time." He unbuttoned the first button of Ji Shuping's neckline, closed his eyes and kissed his collarbone to make a mark, and finished kissing the button Button it up, "Go to work tomorrow, put your tie on and you won't be noticed."

Ji Shuping kissed him on the forehead politely, "I just feel a little hot now."

Shang Xuechen poked his stomach with his hands, "I haven't finished talking yet, let's continue."

"Where did it go?"

"Do you know that girl your uncle deliberately arranged to come close to you?"

"Well, I know it doesn't matter. I haven't had peers who can talk about it since I was a child. My peers with a good background dislike me for not being rich enough, and my mother with a bad background dislikes me and won't let me get close. At that time, my uncle returned to Shao's house for a few years. Yes, my grandfather has not acknowledged him because of his status as an illegitimate child and because my mother made a big fuss. I just asked him to work as a salesman in the company to train him. In addition to wanting to take revenge on me, my uncle Mom, I also want to return the resources my mother took away. This will make it easier for him to run the business, get promoted faster, and grandpa will recognize him as soon as possible. "

"Then your uncle must have failed, otherwise Yao Cai'er wouldn't have been unable to enter Shao's house until now, which means that your uncle has not been able to straighten up and speak."

"Well, you're right. But my mother was really angry. At that time, I was with the girl in the club. What a coincidence, she was planning to run away from home, just like me, I just feel that home is a cage. I told her that if we don’t go together, there will be a caretaker on the way. She said that unless I have a real relationship with her and prove that I will not dislike her, she will rest assured that I will be a fellow traveler. That night I didn't go home, and went to a hotel with her, and we became boyfriend and girlfriend. The day I didn't go home, my mother found out, and she found the girl. She seemed to have talked to her and agreed to run away together on the day , I didn’t show up. Because at that time, I was kidnapped. After I came out and stayed in the hospital for a few days, I found out that she committed suicide by jumping off a building.”

Shang Xuechen was upset when he heard that, he will go to see the chairman who was called by the people who blocked his way tonight, that is Ji Shuping's mother, maybe that girl was suddenly stopped one day when she came home and said someone want to see you.He still has something to ask, he wants to ask him why that girl committed suicide, and if he remembers who kidnapped him, but the words he said changed, "Is the place you want to go after you run away from home a black hole?" Swaya?"

Ji Shuping spoke with his lips pressed against Shang Xuechen's forehead. He said that Shang Xuechen could hear every word. He could feel it from the skin on his forehead. He said, "After all, it didn't work out."

Ji Shuping felt the person in his arms twisting uncomfortably, "What else do you want to ask?"

The person in his arms froze, and asked him after a long time, "Have you seen the face of the person who kidnapped you? Or the face of your accomplice? There was no news about your kidnapping in the newspaper, and didn't you call the police?"

"At that time, I was locked in a small partitioned room in the basement. The lower half of the door had a special slanted slit, because there was a wine jar in that room, and the slit was for ventilation and moisture-proof." Ji Shuping thought of that room. He suddenly laughed, "When I was locked in, I opened the altar and secretly drank the wine inside. That was the first time I drank. I was still sitting on the ground looking out through the crack of the door, and saw two men doing that. Maybe it was too obvious to peek and was discovered. The next day the lower half of the door was seamed and changed to a baffle that can be pulled apart from the outside. It was only reserved for me to deliver food. Boring, nothing else. Except for the two men, the rest of the people have never seen their faces."

Hearing him mention the matter of being kidnapped, with a relaxed tone, Shang Xuechen breathed a sigh of relief, "Aren't you afraid?"

Ji Shuping touched his head, "I'm not afraid."

"why?"

Shang Xuechen was waiting for Ji Shuping's answer, but there was no reply for a long time, he looked up, Ji Shuping closed his eyes and fell asleep.Shang Xuechen thought he was pretending to be asleep because he didn't want to answer, so he tapped his chin lightly with his forehead, but there was no response.The body twisted upwards in the quilt, and was even with Ji Shuping, with eyes open, he blatantly approached, until he touched the lips of the person facing him, but there was still no response, Ji Shuping's breath breathed steadily among Shang Xuechen's people On, it turned out to be really asleep.

Light was already coming in from outside the curtains, and it was almost dawn.Under the dim light, Shang Xuechen traced Ji Shuping's face with his eyes, each brush stroke was profound, "It turns out that there is such a bloody secret between us."