[Yang Chan] Fei Tian

She ran thousands of miles, only to realize that she had returned to Guanjiangkou when she stopped.

Clouds are entrenched, this is going to change the sky.

A rich door in front of him has not been opened for a long time, and the damp air is even more glaring.In the past, she didn't dare to open the door, but now, the person who would open the door for her is gone.

She went around the door and went to the back.

In front of Yang Jian's tomb, Xiao Tiangou was still guarding in the distance.I don't know if it looks for food on its own on weekdays. Its celestial status has not been removed, and it won't die if it doesn't eat or drink. It just looks dirty and old.The fur, which was supposed to be white and shiny, became gray and messy.

"Dog, you are still here." She called softly.

The dog whimpered, but did not move.

"Are you staying here because you are sad for him?" She sat down beside it and stroked its head carefully, "Good dog...but no matter how sad you are, your master will never come back."

"Being sad... what's the use of it?"

She combed its hair carefully: "You are a dog, and you don't know the difficulties of people, but you can know how much he has suppressed himself until today..."

"You think he's still angry, you think the reason why he doesn't want to see each other is just this..."

The dog looked up and licked her hand lightly.

She froze for a moment, and met the dog's eyes: "Dog, you only want to be his pawn, but who knows, he just wants you to get off the chessboard and become a real person! But this person, to be You have to stand upright... Can you afford this? Can you afford it!"

"Why...why didn't you know the truth until he died? What's the point of finding out the truth to you as a dog? I don't know human emotions. Even if you are sad, can you shed tears like a human?"

Unexpectedly, the dog barked, and two lines of tears flowed from his eyes.

She reached out to cover its eyes.But the tears still flowed down the fingers.

"You..." she said, "You actually cried..."

Unconsciously, a trace of wetness in his eyes was passing along the corner of her mouth along his face.

"Oh...is this the taste of tears? It turns out that tears...are so salty...Okay, then cry..."

——For him, for you, experience this feeling, and keep this one and only sorrow in your heart...

She put her face on the dog's forehead, and finally said: "Dog, I envy you. You have been with him for many years... At least this point, you are much better than me..."

The long-lost dog howled three times in front of the tomb, as if paying homage and sighing.

Suddenly, the rain poured down, and together with the tears that hadn't flowed for a thousand years, they told her the grief of her life.The cry was inaudible at first, then burst into sobs, and finally broke the embankment—the Xia Chan who accompanied this year suddenly wailed, heart-piercing, but couldn't call back the dead relatives.At this moment, there is no longer hatred or sadness in my heart, but boundless pain and regret.

"Your second brother said... a kind of guilt. Only when it is deep enough, can a person make up his mind to continue to live. Achan, will you do what your second brother said?"

An umbrella, covering the top of the head.In the torrential rain, I couldn't hear the answer.

……

Liu Xi didn't see Yang Chan for a long time, and Mrs. Dong also retired and returned to his hometown. He was the only one left in this village who could be called a teacher.

One autumn, for unknown reasons, he contracted smallpox. After lying down for three days, he finally couldn't get a drop of water and fell into a dying state.

He couldn't move, and couldn't speak, but he could clearly hear what the doctor said outside the door.

"Ma'am... please forgive me..."

Then his mother whimpered, but it obviously didn't help.

On this day, another doctor was sent away.

It was quiet outside the house for a long time, and he fell into a drowsy sleep, not knowing the time of day and night.Sometimes my mind clears up for a moment, and I think that the lesson plans I have prepared may have to be shelved. Who else in this village can teach the children for him?

Sometimes, his thoughts were in chaos.Thinking of the adventures in Huashan many years ago, thinking of Yang Chan, a god who is very tall for ordinary people, he was actually acquainted by him.

It would be great if Yang Chan was here.Maybe he can heal himself.

When this thought arose, a voice sounded in the ear or in the mind.

"I am coming," said the voice, "but you are dying."

He was unable to reply, and could only sigh in his heart: "Oh...but...but I don't want to die..."

"Who wants to die, it's just... your lifespan is only so long in this life."

He tried hard to open his eyes, wanting to see who was talking to him before he died.

"Yang...Yang Chan?" He couldn't believe it, and a thought in his mind turned out to be true.

Yang Chan still had the same face, cold and never happy.

"it's me."

"This is really..." There were mixed feelings in my heart for a while, "I heard about your matter..."

"It's Yuding...Master Dong told you."

"Yes...he also told a story," Liu Xi swallowed hard, with the bloody taste in his mouth, "That story...is very long, there is one you in the story, and many me, but...everyone ...I can't even remember..."

"..."

"Strange, you are... so reticent today..."

"Yes, I used to talk a lot," she said. "I liked to tell stories and listen to them. I also liked to judge myself, although those were just nonsense to cover up my modesty. At that time, I had nothing to do except kill people." The only thing to do is talk nonsense with people."

"Then tell me, tell me a dying person, tell me some stories... how I was... like?"

"It's okay, your life is short almost every life," she said, "I'm always late... Finally this time, I'm just in time."

"sorry……"

"Why are you apologizing?"

"Because... I'm not the people you know..."

"Heh..." With a slight smile, he told how many things in the past have gone wrong.

"I'm sorry, I... am not your second brother..."

"Of course, you are you and he is him. There is only one Yang Jian in the world, and naturally there is only one Liu Yanchang. He is a hero, but you are not. But maybe, as a mortal, you can do everything he wants to do Or maybe...just to end his desires, he separated you, threw you into the mortal world, and lived the life he wanted to live for him..."

"Ugh……"

He sighed again.

"What are you lamenting?" Yang Chan asked him.

"Yes... I think of the scene you showed me in Huashan back then... I... finally understand why it is always missing something, and I can't draw well..."

"What's missing?"

"What I see is not only the scenery, the scenery is like a person, that scene... really lonely..."

It's loneliness, it's loneliness, it's walking alone, it's wandering in the world alone, it's going to the end alone... The lack of this artistic conception, as a mortal, he can't draw...

"It sounds... so bleak..." She laughed at herself slightly, "But when a person lives long enough, sees enough, and everyone around him leaves, everyone will be so bleak."

"So dying early... is it a good thing?"

"Of course not. As a human being, survival is an instinct. Since you are alive, you should live!"

"But you just said... I'm dying."

"However, you are not dead yet." Yang Chan spread out his palm, and half a red bead floated out of his palm, "Since I have inherited the destiny of heaven, I can no longer interfere with life and death in the world. Borrowing, it’s useless now, I’ll pay it back in your life!”

As soon as the words fell, the half red pearl jumped into his mouth following the command.

"Next, how long you can live depends on your own good fortune..."

Immediately, his stomach was scorching like fire, and he was in extreme pain, he screamed but couldn't make a sound, he dragged his sick body to sit up while struggling, and then fell down heavily.

"In those lifetimes, I wanted to kill you... because you disturbed my mind. But now, I finally understand the reason..."

The voice faded away, leaving him alone in the room.It was a long night, enough for him to think clearly about life and death: only one thought, as long as he didn't catch it for a moment, he would be a dead person.

Liu Xi didn't want to die, so he worked hard to live. When the cock crowed three times, he felt better, and then went back to sleep.

If he made it through the night, he wouldn't have to die.

This sleep lasted for another three days. After waking up, the doctors took the pulse and were all amazed, saying that it was a dead tree in spring, and he had to enjoy the destiny.

Liu Xi got better, and the smallpox all over her face dissipated, leaving her face full of pockmarks.Fortunately, men don't pay much attention to appearance, so it doesn't matter much.

After he recovered from his illness, he often suspected that what he saw was just an illusion.He thought his life was back to normal.

One day, two days... as usual.

One year, two years... no difference.

But ten or twenty years later, he discovered something was wrong.His appearance has not changed, and he will always be 20 years old.

The girls in the village were unwilling to marry him because of his pockmarked face, and the children in the school changed from batch to batch, and the only nickname left for him was "Master Ma".

At the age of 40, he still didn't have a single gray hair, but his mother's hair was covered with silver threads.

He still runs the shop at home, but there are more and more gossips.It is impossible for a person to be young for a lifetime, because everyone will grow old, this is the rule of heaven.

Those who are not normal are called demons.

He became a long-lived demon.

Gradually, he didn't even go to the Shushu, and only left the heavy responsibility to the younger generation. After selling the shop, he took his mother back to his hometown in Qingtian, and became a Shushu teacher.When he had nothing to do, he painted in the courtyard to make up for the little artistic conception that was lacking back then.

Finally, at the age of 53, he finally drew a perfect scene of Taoshan, but immediately, he threw it into the fire.

There shouldn't be such a scene in the world, and he still insisted on the idea of ​​the past - the difference between clouds and mud, clouds should only float in the sky...

He looked up at the sky, and there were thousands of clouds in the sky, and he couldn't help but think of a poem by Du Fu: The clouds in the sky are like white clothes, and the beard changes like a gray dog.Throughout the ages and in the present, everything in life is always the same...

At the age of 70, my mother passed away.Liu Xi buried her mother's body next to her father's.This time, even his old family gossiped about him behind his back, and Liu Xi had to move back to Yangzhou.

Things changed in Yangzhou, and no one remembered him anymore.

In this year, Zhu Youxiao ascended the throne, and the Ming Dynasty suffered from frequent disasters, and it began to no longer be peaceful.

He listened to the affairs of the world, and sometimes he felt breathless in his chest. He wrote a poem: "The crows withered and crowed in the frosty night, and the drizzle reflects the cold autumn in the mountains. It's not like floating life and underestimating it, and offering sacrifices to the barren mound in the distance."

After finishing the assignment, he lamented three times for Daming, but he heard a one-word comment from outside the door saying:

"acid."