I may be helpless

Returning to the dilapidated yard that belonged to her again, Lin Bai didn't know what kind of identity she was in. She didn't look sideways, ignored the strange gazes of the two soldiers standing guard at the door, and walked in.

In the courtyard, the clothes that Zheye had pulled the rope to dry hadn't been confiscated, and even a few of Zheye's clothes had been dried in this sunny courtyard.

And this clothesline also made the entire deserted yard popular. She even felt that this was her own home. When she came out of the dungeon, her first thought was to go back to her yard and close the door. Then you can protect yourself.

But this kind of thinking is wrong. Her rationality told her that this is not her home, but she will have a sense of dependence here because she is too adaptable.

Thinking of this, it seemed that she should shed tears to show the pain in her heart, but apart from the pain, she couldn't shed tears, so she could only smile bitterly, and walked into the room clutching her left arm.

The doors and windows of the house were open, sitting at the table where the solar light came in, and digging out the styptic powder Zhe Ye had given her, Lin Bai dared to look at his wound.

The blood had clotted on the clothes, and the clothes were pulled by the barbs of the thin whip, and a long hole had been torn. The wound was not big, but some flesh and blood had been taken away. At this moment, the blood and the strips of cloth were all clotted on it. , Lin Bai didn't know what to do for a while.

The pain was still harassing his brain's thinking, Lin Bai even wanted to just pour the medicine powder on it, the wound would always heal, but through the broken clothing, the medicine powder couldn't reach the inside of the wound and couldn't work, Lin Bai Bai frowned, lightly touched his left arm with his fingers, hissed, then took a breath, and tore off all the cloth strips stuck to it, including the scabbed wound. .

The blood came out again.

Lin Bai's tears were also stimulated to condense again.

She blinked to get the tears out of her eyes, and she was able to see the wound clearly. Seeing that the blood-soaked cloth strips around the wound were about to solidify again, she was cruel, and bit the blood-stained clothes with her mouth again. , completely exposing the location of the wound.

That way, it won't stick to the scab.

She held the powder bottle with her right hand, bit off the cap of the powder bottle with her mouth, and spat it onto the table. With her trembling right hand, she applied some hemostatic powder to her trembling left arm.

This medicine powder is very useful, she thought, it has the effect of shocking pain and stopping bleeding. Last time I broke my knee, I used this. Shake it on, and the pain will disappear after a while... It will soon be gone...

She couldn't help comforting herself in her heart, tears were still falling down, she couldn't ignore the memories in her mind, over and over again, if... if the wounded Balu received good treatment, he would never dead.

But he himself sentenced him to death.

Thinking of this, Lin Bai's hand shaking the powder trembled, and the bottle fell on the table. The wheel made two turns and stopped, but the powder was scattered all over the table.

She sentenced that Eighth Route to death... She couldn't help but respond to these words in her mind, Lin Bai's body also began to tremble slightly, it was her who killed someone... The aftertaste of fear welled up in her heart, Lin Bai closed her eyes tightly, Trying to force myself not to think about it anymore, but as soon as I closed my eyes, there was that piercing gunshot.

boom!

Lin Bai suddenly opened his eyes wide, staring blankly at the yard outside the window.

Just watched it for a long time.

The tears on his face were dried again.

Lin Bai's heart returned to peace.

No, maybe she has successfully paralyzed herself.

Because her eyes are not like the despair when she came out of the dungeon, nor the fear and fear when she just shed tears, but rather apathetic, with nothing in her eyes, nothing to put, she seems to have emptied her memory , tied up the wound with the gauze left over from before, quietly took off the blood-stained coat, only wearing the shirt, wiped the medicine powder on the table with the dirty coat, threw the clothes on the table casually, turned around and took a drink The cool white placed on the head of the bed, Lin Bai lay on the bed, but did not close his eyes.

Maybe it was the pain that kept her from sleeping, maybe it was the pain that made her feel at ease.

She began to think about what she wanted to do.

Blowing with the wind?Go with the flow?That's really what she's been doing.

She didn't have any purpose in this world, so she didn't make any effort, as if she lived just to live, and never thought about why she wanted to live.

But isn't everyone engraved with the instinct of survival in their bones?Why give a reason to be alive?Why is she going to die?Was she going to die just because she was a bad person?

She had never thought about it before.

But today's act of killing a person made her doubts about living even deeper.

She once thought that she could do whatever it takes to survive and betray?Okay, no problem, as long as you save my life, I will be your lackey.Undercover?It’s also okay, as long as you don’t kill the traitorous me, I can also be your lackey.

Then, to live, to kill?what's next?Is it to destroy the country in order to live?

Lin Bai, how did you get to this point.

With dry eyes, Lin Bai stared blankly at the beam directly above, asking himself silently in his heart.

Lin Bai, how did you come to this point?

"Hey..." The long sigh was full of inexplicable emotions, Lin Bai felt that he had indulged himself too much, which led to today's situation.

She fell into a deep disgust, but she couldn't blame herself, as if her body split into two people, a little white was pure and kind, trying to persuade her that it was wrong to do so, she was a law-abiding Social citizens who abide by the rules, no matter what, can't kill people.Another little Lin, dark and evil, told her that people are not for themselves, heaven and earth are destroyed, and now it is not a civilized and law-abiding society, and there is nothing wrong with her doing so.

She didn't know who to listen to, and she couldn't decide. She could only let the two little people fight hard in her heart, covered with scars, and in the end, these scars would be engraved on her body one by one.

The sun quietly set while Lin Bai was in a trance, and the night fell, and the nocturnal creatures on the earth also began to move.

Lin Bai didn't light the lights in the house, her eyes just looked at the beams, from day to night.

The footsteps began to approach the house with a small complaint, 【Why is it so dark, isn’t Xiaobai up yet? ] It’s Zhe Ye, Lin Bai smiled wryly, and now only Zhe Ye can come to deliver meals to him.

She sat up, and before she turned on the lamp, she heard Tetsuya's voice pushing the door open.

[Ah, you're up, come and eat] Zhe also saw Lin Bai sitting by the bed, [I'm sorry for being late today, the chief of the headquarters is back today, Uncle Jingxia needs to prepare a lot of soldiers I've been helping with the meal, and I'm done. Xiaobai, are you hungry? I'm sorry~ Come and eat. 】

The youthful and youthful voice seems to always have a good yearning for life.

【It doesn't matter. 】Lin Bai said.

【What’s wrong with you?Why is your voice so hoarse!Come and drink some water!Didn't sleep well?Or is there another mission? 】Zhe also heard Lin Bai's hoarse voice, and was a little worried. He thought that Lin Bai hadn't been able to rest well, and some terrible mission had happened.

Lin Bai shook her head, and found that the room was too dark, maybe even Zhe couldn't see clearly, she said [It's okay, you can turn on the light, I just slept too much in the afternoon and didn't drink water. 】

【Really? 】Zhe also worried and obediently lit the oil lamp, but the small oil lamp can illuminate the room. The light from the candle made Zhe also see Lin Bai's face clearly,【You look... very tired, don't you? I disturbed your rest? ] Zhe also frowned, did he not sleep well?

Lin Bai shook his head, 【It's time to get up, I'm already hungry. 】

【…】Zhe Ye still looked worried, but when he heard Lin Bai said that he was hungry, he quickly helped Lin Bai set up the bench and urged her to come over for dinner.

Lin Bai didn't refuse either, and sat down directly, watching Zheye divided the food between the two, and then started to eat with his right hand holding the chopsticks, his left hand kept shrugging at his side. Although there was an oil lamp in the room, it was not as good as during the daytime. In the bright light, Zhe also did not notice the condition of Lin Bai's left arm.

All I saw were dirty coats piled up on the table.

He pointed to the clothes and asked: [Do you need me to wash this clothes for you? 】

Lin Bai stared at the clothes for a long time, then naturally lowered his head, stuffed a mouthful of food into his mouth, and said casually: [No need, this clothes were torn when I was on a mission before, so I can't wear them anymore. 】

【Why?Are you hurt?Why didn't you let me see your wound in the morning? 】

Zhe also felt that his heart was really broken. From the time Lin Bai transferred to the puppet army camp, he was always worried about Lin Bai's accident. You see, he was still injured.

Lin Bai swallowed the food in his mouth, and wrote lightly: [There is no wound, I just accidentally rubbed against a tree, there is no need to sew it up. 】

【Oh...then I'll throw it away for you later? 】

[...No need, I'll handle it myself. 】

Zhe also nodded, it was Lin Bai's clothes, and she naturally disposed of it at will.

After eating and packing up the food box, Zheye still had no tendency to leave. He poured two cups of hot water from the thermos for the two of them, and then sat down and sipped; [Speaking of which, Xiaobai's eyes are also red Yes, what task did you have last night? I'm so tired. 】

He thought it was because Lin Bai was tired from the mission.

Lin Bai took a sip of hot water, put down the water glass, looked at the moonlight outside, and said [No, it's just because I... just don't get used to it. 】

[Oh~, it’s okay, I couldn’t adapt well when I first came to China, and I didn’t get a good night’s sleep, but now I won’t~ Take your time and it’ll be fine~] Little Angel Tetsuya comforted Lin Bai.

Lin Bai lowered his head silently.

Zhe also stopped talking when he saw people. He rolled his eyes and thought of a topic.

【Xiao Bai, do you still remember when you first came here? At that time, you were full of vigilance towards everything, like a cat that would explode at any time, but it is much better now, Xiao Bai is becoming more and more gentle~】

Gentle, ah, Lin Bai smiled wryly in his heart, and described his silence as gentle, Zheye was really caring for her thoughts.

[However...Xiaobai is really too busy recently...Xiaobai is always on missions and sleeping...I don't have time to teach me how to write Chinese characters. 】

【….sorry. 】

[It's okay~ Xiaobai can find his own thing to do, I am also happy, but does Xiaobai not like the current job? 】Zhe also carefully observed Lin Bai's face.

【….Um. 】Lin Bai responded softly.

Zhe also said: [I know, the Chinese people call that army the puppet army, right? 】As if a child seeking praise is showing off that he knows a lot, he said: 【Uncle Jingxia told me, but it doesn’t seem to be a nice word... Xiaobai doesn’t like it, so he can’t stop doing it there? 】

【…cannot. 】Lin Bai looked a little lonely.

Zhe was also infected with a little loneliness, and was more pitiful towards Lin Bai, 【Then... that's really not good... Forget it, let's think about something happy! 】

Zhe also changed his tone, trying to change Lin Bai's mood, 【Then... what is Xiaobai's happiest job? 】

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