you are scary

He never knew that it would be so difficult to commit suicide after becoming a psychic.

When he stretched out his wrist in the bathtub water sprinkled with bath salts and made the first cut, the ghosts laughed loudly: "My God, such a small wound is shamelessly called suicide!"

"Coward, coward!"

"My God, his hands are shaking!"

"It's so funny!"

"..."

Why didn't I notice before that these ghosts were so noisy?Fortunately, he once thought ghosts were cute.

Bai Qianwan didn't want to pay attention, and slashed down again——

"Ah, he's serious!"

"Grab his knife!"

"Hold him, oh, this man is quite strong."

"Who just kicked my nose away!"

Damn, what are these ghosts doing.

After a while of wrestling, Bai Qianwan fell by the bathtub, the back of his head hit the floor heavily, and he lost his eyesight for a while, and when the hot water splashed into his eyes, it hurt endlessly.

The overflowing water from the bathtub flowed quietly in his ears.clatter...

"Oops, is it dead!"

"Don't panic if you're still angry!"

"First, find the time machine first!"

"No, let's call the customer first. How long is the call, eh?"

"Ah, what should I do, killing ghosts is a big deal."

"He is a psychic. Killing a psychic is a felony. He will go to hell and have his tongue pulled out."

"Wow, suddenly my tongue hurts!"

He actually passed out listening to this conversation.

Miserable, too miserable—let him die soon.

When she woke up again, Bai Qianwan was still in the bathroom.The Yuba above his head was quietly roasting him, and the water was gurgling.

A big bag bulged up on the back of his head.He groaned and got up: "Why don't you turn off the tap for me, the water bill is very expensive..."

No one cares about him.

Looking around, there is no ghost, it is clean.

God, when the accident happened, one ran faster than the other!What the hell are these things, let's all fall into the animal realm!

When he staggered out of the bathroom, it was pitch black outside.

"Can't you turn on the light for me?" He complained in the dark.

"You don't have hands yourself, you idiot!"

When the light was turned on, a female ghost with no hands and feet was wriggling on the ground, her eyes were red, probably she had just cried.

"Hmph," Bai Qianwan rolled his eyes, "Use my tissue again."

"It's useless to be cute, you bitch."

"..." Why should I be scolded for this?

Bai Qianwan staggered and fell on the sofa.

Leaving aside the trivial things such as No.90's five failed suicide attempts and being scolded by the female ghost landlord, he felt happy, fulfilled, and drowsy because of this sofa.

This is a big house located in a famous haunted area, but it is a 10-minute walk to the subway entrance, so it is convenient to travel.The interior space is not small. Along the corridor from the door, there are two rooms, a bathroom and a kitchen; under the stairs is a storage room, next to it are three small rooms and a toilet.What's even more gratifying is that the original owner left behind a table, bookshelves, and even a leather sofa in the living room.

No need to buy furniture!

For him who is impoverished, there is no doubt that the rain will come after a long drought.

Therefore, Bai Qianwan has special affection for this sofa.

After squatting on the sofa for a while, he was quickly awakened by the rustling and whimpering of the floor.This feeling is really bad. Although he often deals with ghosts, being woken up by ghosts is as common as eating and drinking, but a naked person. The ghost has really sharp eyes. It is enough to close the eyes. Out of sight, out of mind Annoying, that's what he thought before, but she was very noisy, crying for twelve hours a day, and cursing people and ghosts for the rest of the time, it was really hard to ignore.

How can there be such ghosts in the world, whose tongues and eyes have been gouged out, and ears are poisoned and deaf, but after death, they can hear, read, read newspapers and play vibrato on the Internet. Bar!

"Mrs. Chen, did someone call me when I was unconscious just now?" Bai Qianwan could only think of ways to distract him.

"I don't know, no." She wrung her nose on the carpet and made a snoring sound.

He was skeptical: "Really?"

There is a telephone in the living room.These days, very few people call landlines.However, due to the tight financial situation, Bai Qianwan only owns one fixed line, which was left after the death of the pig.People died a long time ago, so the style of the telephone is also very old.The handset is placed horizontally on the top, and the buttons are arranged in a circle. There is no replay or callback function. In short, it is a very old telephone.

Old things and Bai Qianwan's special physique usually provoke things from another world, so this phone has incoming calls almost every day, and most of the time it is not from humans.

"Oh, it's really not there." The human pig said again.

He nodded: "Oh, then I will continue to sleep..."

Just as Bai Qianwan leaned his head gently on the cushion, the phone rang.

"Ha, it's a call from a ghost." Ren Yi did sit-ups on the carpet, "I'm in trouble."

Ghosts also call in broad daylight, damn it.

Bai Qianwan reluctantly picked up the microphone: "What's the matter?"

"Go to hell, go to hell!..."

"Thank you for your precious words." He put down the microphone.

On the subject of death.

He raised his hand in disappointment, the wound on his wrist had solidified, like a straight red line, the trace of the teacher's marking on the test paper.

It's so useless.

Can't even die.

So painful.

He scratched the wound in annoyance, and the blood flowed out again.

"That's right, I'll settle this month's bill for you." Human pig's eyeballs flew out of their sockets and stuck to a stack of bills on the table, "Because you frequently go to the hospital for emergency treatment, and the medical expenses are expensive. It's bottomed out."

"what!"

Bai Qianwan flipped through the bills that were stained with human pig's tears, and after a rough calculation, it was true.

"There is only 300 yuan left, if this continues, I will starve to death this week..." he muttered to himself.

Starving to death is the most unacceptable way of death for him.

No, you must not starve to death before committing suicide.

The man said: "Get out of here and go to work, a trash who can't commit suicide, just like me, woo woo woo..."

"Psychic communication will damage your lifespan, you are so poisonous!" Another male ghost who didn't know when came shouted.

"It's none of my business, he lives in my house, can't I drive him away?"

"Your house has been sold by the first wife, and now it belongs to him."

"You bastard! Didn't I rob this room because of you? Scumbag, shameless..."

The two ghosts scuffled.

On the other side, Bai Qianwan sat on the sofa with his head downcast.

It is actually a misunderstanding of laymen that psychic communication will damage the lifespan. However, it is true that the frequency should not be too high, because psychic communication is dealing with ghosts from the underworld, and it is indeed not good for living people. Practitioners also have their own taboos.

The profession of psychics is underdeveloped in modern society, and there are also obstacles for this reason.In the psychic industry, there is a saying that it will not open for three years, and it will take three years to open.In fact, this is a bit exaggerated, the normal frequency is about once every six months.

However, he is a poor man.

Still a poor man who wants to die.

and so--

"I came out to take orders again, do you have any recommendations?"

The receptionist of the agency said pleasantly on the phone: "Ah, Mr. Bai is really hardworking, are you short of money? Well, I just have a job here that suits you very well. There is a rich family who died, and now there is trouble. To make a pot of porridge, let the dead come out to judge, right? The price is very high, and the requirements are also very high. A psychic with five stars or above, skilled in technology, and absolutely secretive, the sooner the better, isn’t this you? I Mr. Bai is the only one who meets the requirements and has time to travel, and who is in City B."

Bai Qianwan was very disgusted: "It sounds like a series of family ethics, the kind of private affairs of wealthy families, does it involve the distribution of inheritance? If the children and grandchildren fight, do you need me to persuade them to fight? I am an outsider who heard their scandals. It is also easy to be beaten by them, please, I am not an aunt of the neighborhood committee, so I will not go."

"I'm not sure about personal safety, but his asking price is seven-figure RMB..."

Bai Qianwan immediately changed his words: "Ah? I've accepted this order. Please send me the contact information of this customer, thank you, I can start now."

Seven figures!

He has never seen so much money in his life.

Holding the note with contact information, Bai Qianwan began to hum with his eyes closed: "Spin, jump, I close my eyes."

"Step on me!" the human pig screamed.

boom.

Before stepping on a human pig's nose, he ran into a ghost head-on.

The male ghost is tall and tall, with a crooked nose and a slanted mouth. His description is wretched, like a cartoon character.

The male ghost was startled, and supported him: "Are you alright?"

"Too bad, he didn't die." Bai Qianwan regretted.

"Ah, that's great," the male ghost breathed a sigh of relief, "They ran to find customers, these daredevils."

"What is a client?"

Bai Qianwan ignored him, took off his clothes and changed his shoes at the entrance, and went out confidently.

The male ghost said to the empty doorway: "It's just a rich client who hired a group of ghosts to prevent you from committing suicide—"

"What?" The human pig was bouncing on the floor like a dolphin. She thought it was exercising muscles. After being dead for too long, the ghost's muscles tended to stiffen. "What stops clients who commit suicide?"

"That is, that group of ghosts met a rich human being somewhere. The human asked them to prevent Bai Qianwan from committing suicide, and gave Ming money according to the number of days. The price was very high. In short, he just didn't want Bai Qianwan to have a good time, right? So Thinking about it, Xiaobai is so pitiful, he can't even die." The male ghost pulled out one eyeball, and wiped it with his mouth.

"I just don't want him to die, so how come I don't want him to have a good time?"

"Because it's against him. If you don't believe me, if you ask Bai Qianwan, he must think so too."

"I think you've been hanging out with him for too long, you're stupid." Renzhu chuckled.

"But Bai Qianwan committed suicide so many times, every time he was snatched back by the ghost when he was almost successful. He was grabbed by the leg when he jumped off the building, the rope was cut off when he hanged himself, and the pills were thrown away when he took sleeping pills. ——He is also in pain.” The male ghost put his eyeballs back, “Jefferson said, ‘everyone has the right to pursue happiness’, hell is Xiaobai’s happiness, at least that’s what he thinks now, If you let him know that someone has been preventing him from committing suicide, I'm afraid there will be a fight."

"So, who is that client?"

"Oh, his name is—"

The author has something to say:

Human Pig: The Empress Dowager cut off Mrs. Qi's limbs, removed her eyes, brightened her ears, drank abscess medicine, made her live in the toilet, and ordered her to be "Ren Pig".