[HP] Don't talk to me

"Hi students, I'm Ta Effa, your spell professor." The moment I stood on the podium, I was a little nervous.Although he is also an old teacher who has been teaching for several years, after all, he has not attended class for almost a year.

The study of ancient spells is not a difficult course, and it is somewhat interesting, so the classroom effect is often good, and occasionally find some ancient spells to practice on the spot.It's just that I soon discovered that the students' interest in this course was far less than mine.Basically, in the first class, most of the students whispered to me.

Over the past few months, the "Daily Prophet" has reported a lot of unfounded reports on me. They took advantage of me unconscious and trapped in the hospital to write a bunch of stories about me and Voldemort. What are you talking about?Can I fight back against Voldemort?Within 5 minutes of meeting him, I became a pile of easily cut meat in his hands.

I can't refute it, I can only accept the sympathy or adoration eyes of the students, which is not a good feeling.I suddenly understood what Snape was up to these days - when the story of his past was revealed, he would never return to a peaceful life.

But Snape should still be better than me, at least if he straightened his face and stared his eyes, it would have the effect of muting the audience.

After finally finishing the first class, I sat on the podium to rest.I waited for the students to leave the classroom one after another. After the last person who stepped out swayed out of the door, I immediately waved my wand to close the door and locked it.The next class is scheduled for the afternoon, and I still have half a day to rest.

I fumbled out the pack of Muggle cigarettes that were almost confiscated last night, the penultimate one from the treasured place.

I've never been a big smoker, just an occasional smoker.In the past two days, I don't know why I have smoked so much, and I want more.

I lost my temper last night.After calming down, I analyzed it, and I shouldn't have done that.It was a ruse, through Snape's shift of focus, to make him ignore the secret in my pocket.

It's just that I didn't expect him to... kiss so vigorously, and I didn't expect that I would be so touched by the matter of kissing him.

I thought I was already an experienced adult, and I could handle the scene with ease.But once I face him, I lose my mind.

After all, I admit, he used to be my whole life.

How could it be possible to let go all of a sudden?When I still had to face him every day, it only took a little spark to ignite those memories of my past.For me, it's a curse.

So, as long as I don't leave here, the pain will continue without end.

After I finished my cigarette, I got up and went downstairs and left the castle.

Mrs. Hooch gives flying lessons to the juniors on the lawn.When I passed by, I stopped and looked at their awkward appearance on the broomsticks, and suddenly thought of myself.

Remember my third flying lesson, hitting Snape on a broomstick.At that time, he was picking medicine by the lake, I saw him at a glance, and flew away sneakily during the free practice time, trying to play a prank.I originally wanted to put a sticker on his back, but I couldn't control my balance and speed, so I fell down and pressed him tightly into the mud, face down.

I was severely punished for this, and I also had the opportunity to go to the brig and draw a few more of his graffiti.

Youth is such a beautiful thing. After you lose it, you can discover its color even more.Sometimes it's sombre, and more often it's so rich that you can barely keep your eyes open looking back.

Mrs. Hooch greeted me, and I had a brief chat with her. Suddenly, on a whim, I borrowed a teaching broom from her and rode on it.

Hogwarts Castle was quickly left behind by me, and amid the cheers of a group of students below, I flew higher and higher.I thought how foolish I was for not discovering the joy of flying sooner.Maybe it was because I used spells like apparition too smoothly before, I didn't expect that I could see more scenery than I imagined on the broom, and my feet were immediately liberated to the greatest extent.I moved lightly, glad I hadn't forgotten all about flying, and then looked at the nearby valley and the distant mountains, and thought again about how blue the sky really was.

Above the Forbidden Forest, I stopped.Looking at the lush black forest, I suddenly remembered what happened a long time ago.In the Forbidden Forest there are secrets that only belong to me.

I circled a few times, a little disappointed that I couldn't find the exact position from the air, so I couldn't land.There are classes in the afternoon, and I can't spend any more time here.It seems that I need to find a way to come here again after a while.

I went back to school and returned the broom to Mrs Hooch.I remembered that there should be a Silver Arrow broom that I bought myself in the room before, so I must find it out and repair it next time, and then go out for a ride often.How easy it is for me to walk without feet.

It was time for lunch and I had no appetite and no desire to meet Snape.He simply went straight to the kitchen, found the house elf, took two leftover sandwiches from breakfast, and walked back to the room alone.

I managed to avoid Snape throughout breakfast today, and if I can't see him at noon and at night, I'll have an easy day.

When passing by the door of the cellar, I suddenly heard a moderate explosion.I was biting into half a sandwich when the lettuce and tomato fell to the floor.I shouldn't be meddling in my own business, but my two years as a Potions Assistant gave me a bad habit.By the time I felt remorse, I quickly pushed the door and walked in, and then stopped in the operating room.

The large cauldron in the center of the operating room was overturned, and the explosion followed.It can be seen that the crucible was half blown to pieces, white smoke was rising from inside, and there was a sizzling sound.A dark green liquid flowed out and trickled down the edge of the table to the floor.

Snape sat leaning against the corner of the table on the other side, clutching his right arm with his left hand, blood was oozing all over the palm of his hand.He was still swearing under his breath.

Hearing my footsteps, he turned his head quickly and saw me before I could figure it out and make a retreat.

I am a little embarrassed and a little helpless.But not wanting to see him doesn't mean I can't see him. Since I met him and had an accident, what else can I do?

I waved my wand, dealt with the scene with a few spells, then walked over and knelt down slightly to examine his injuries.

"Potions masters never know how to be careful." I sighed, avoiding his gaze, and took his covering hand away, and found that he had been cut wide by a fragment of the cauldron, so I spelled him skillfully. Clear the wound, then get up to find the healing potion, and then go to the old position to bring him gauze to bandage him, all in one go.He has never been a person who lacks the spirit of adventure. I can't remember how many times I have treated him like this. Maybe my bandaging skills can already catch up with Madam Pomfrey.

He has been very quiet, obeying my arrangement, and the cursing in his mouth has stopped.I haven't heard his voice for a long time. When I was bandaging, I looked up at him and found his black eyes staring at me deeply.

"Don't stare at me." Just as the dressing was over, I stood up.

He said hoarsely: "Thank you."

I didn't respond, but was suddenly attracted by a parchment on the table.

It clearly says: Order from Oliver's Potion Store.

I quickly scanned the content and was stunned.The content of the order is a highly dangerous potion. The type and quantity requirements are carefully written, and twenty copies are needed.According to my experience, the production of these potions is laborious and laborious, and the procedures are extremely cumbersome, and the deadline for orders is two months later.

Snape was standing up slowly, probably noticed my strangeness, followed my gaze, then immediately reached out to grab the parchment and rolled it into a ball.

No one spoke in the room for a while, and then I twitched the corner of my mouth, and suddenly felt a blockage in my chest.

"You actually signed a contract with Oliver's potion store to make so many highly dangerous potions? Are you crazy or do you want to die?"

Snape was tall and tall in front of him, I glanced at his arm, at the wound he had bandaged just now, then reached out and tangled his collar tightly.

I'm much shorter than him, and it's a little hard to pinch the neckline with my hands.But how can I care so much about the surge of energy, I just continued to say with extreme resentment: "Are you stupid? Are you stupid? Has your head been sucked by a dementor? Or have you been possessed by a goblin?" ?”

"I just... need money," Snape said.

I froze for a moment, then let go of my hand and took two steps back.

"Is it... to pay back the money? For the medical expenses I owe?" I trembled all over.

Snape said nothing.

But I know that silence is an admission.

I was at a loss and didn't know how to continue talking.I hate the feeling that I owe him, that he owes someone else, that I can't pay him back, and that he's desperate to pay it back.

My eyes continued to scan along the table, and then I found that there were several other lists lying on his table.I let go of his collar and turned to pick up the sheets.Snape wanted to snatch it, I staggered back, probably he was afraid of hurting me, so he didn't come any closer.

Twelve Ancient Potions from Stratos' Curiosity Shop of Wonders.

Thirty special-purpose potions from Crothea and Duke Jesse's potion shop.

58 Medicinal Potions from the Wizard's Pharmacy of Hedras, Cilisis.

……

I was shaking more and more violently, and I even wondered if the wound had recurred again, and my chest felt uncomfortable, really uncomfortable.

"I said, I don't need you to save me at all. I should have died a long time ago, the sooner the better...Why, you won't let me die!" I let go, and the parchment fell to the ground.

Snape whispered, "Tata, don't be angry."

"Again, call me Efa!" I said. "Don't think I owe you money so you can call me by my Christian name."

I covered my chest and leaned against the table to try to breathe steadily.It was him who was weak just now, but now it is me who is weak.

"Effa," Snape came over, gently taking the scrolls from my hand. "Don't forget, I have been a Potions Professor these years, and these potions will not trouble me."

"Why...you want to hurt me again and again?" I couldn't bear it any longer, and I couldn't hide the two lines of tears with my hands. "You want me to owe you money, you're a big bastard!"

"Yeah... I'm a bastard." Snape put his hands on my shoulders, his voice soft. "It was I who caused you to become what you are now. I should have said what you said just now. Efa, why did you rush in to save me? You should let me die. No one will suffer when I die. of."

I die or he dies, what's the point of saying this now?

I reached out and knocked off his hand pinching my shoulder, then covered my face and cried bitterly.

It's been a long time since I cried.Maybe I overlooked what a pleasurable feeling it is to cry, and don't think about anything, right and wrong, love and hate...

I feel Snape slowly and carefully pulling me into his arms, no longer caring about resisting, just feel that it's nice to have a place to lean on.I pressed my face against his chest, intermittently I could hear his steady heartbeat and feel his warm but not hot body temperature.

I don't know how long I cried, but I fell asleep in a daze.

When I woke up again, I found myself lying in a familiar place - in the cellar, Snape's bedroom.

I was lying on Snape's bed with dark green velvet sheets.Maybe he brought me in. There is still a faint smell of medicine in the air, which is his smell.

I struggled to get out of bed and found crutches leaning against the bed.

When I opened the door and walked into the living room, Snape was sitting at the desk writing something, he raised his head when he heard my approaching sound.

"I'll pay it back," I said. "I don't want to burden you with this. You don't have to. Our relationship... doesn't have to be like this."

"Effa, you just need to stay here. Don't worry about the money, I will figure it out myself."

I shook my head and said stubbornly: "I will pay back the money, I will. Even if it will take a long time. Transfer all your debts to me now, and I will bear it."

"Do you know what you're talking about? What are you paying for?"

"If I can't pay it back, I still have a life." I smiled.

"Transfer all the debts to me. If you have money, I'll pay it back. If you don't have money, they just need to come to me. If it takes my life, I can give it to you!" I seemed to have told a bad joke, and Snape frowned. Eyebrows, no smile on his face at all.

"I don't agree." He said calmly.

"In that case, if I die, it's over." I didn't stop, but continued, "You will live happily, you won't have to bear these responsibilities, and you can have an easier life. You are a rebel against Voldemort. A great hero should live like a hero."

"Damn, what are you still thinking?" Snape gritted his teeth, "What's the point of my life without you?"

I said coldly: "Without me, you still have memories of Lily Potter. How much worse would you be without me? Don't kid yourself. Severus Snape, you just live in In the guilt of me saving you. In fact, you don’t need to be so guilty. I just bid farewell to my past in this way. The me in the past is dead, and the one who appears in front of you now , an ugly but free cripple."

Snape paled for a moment.

I lifted my long hair that covered my face, exposing my entire face without reservation.Maybe he has looked carefully at those vicious scars, maybe he hasn't looked carefully, but now I won't have any escape.I bent the corner of my mouth at Snape, and then said word by word: "Don't be stupid for me like this, it's not worth it. You should consider my suggestion."

I turned and left the cellar.