[HP] Don't talk to me

After lunch, I watched Snape silently for a while, watching him breathe steadily, eyes closed, as if sinking into the ground, silent.He seldom wears clothes other than black. Even if I bought him clothes of other colors, he just took them obediently, but didn't obediently put them on.So he was lying on the hospital bed, wearing a white hospital gown, which was really rare to see.

In fact, he looks good in white, which makes his thin body seem to be strong.During this period of time, I seldom had the opportunity and courage to look at him carefully. When I entered this ward, I had the opportunity to see him enough.

His black hair fell to his shoulders and looked particularly disheveled.I just watched it quietly, then turned around and walked out the door, planning to find a pair of scissors to cut his hair.

At the door, someone blocked my way.

It was Kingsley, the current interim minister of the Ministry of Magic, and standing with him was a embarrassed Bryce.

"Ta Effa, Tata, long time no see." Kingsley raised his head and greeted me with his characteristic deep and slow voice.

I also nodded politely to him.

"Tata, we..." Bryce wanted to say something, but couldn't get it out.

"Tata," Kingsley hesitated, and finally he was more decisive than Bryce, and said, "You used scorpion stone...a forbidden drug that is banned by the British Ministry of Magic. I'm here to talk to you about it. Yes."

Bryce sighed and said, "I'm sorry, Tata! When we sent you to St. Mungo's, Mendel couldn't find the anti-potion for Scorpionstone in the hospital. Some ingredients in it are only available in the Ministry of Magic. Inventory. And your situation at the time, if you don’t use medicine, it’s too dangerous! So we had no choice but to notify the Ministry of Magic.”

I nodded.

Kingsley said: "According to regulations, you have been listed as a defendant by the Temporary Doping Committee of the Ministry of Magic, and you have to go to the Law Enforcement Division to hear the trial in a few days. Tata, I'm sorry, I have to come in a few days and take you away."

I nodded again, then took out the paper, wrote what I wanted to say, and unfolded it in front of Kingsley and Bryce.

"I want a pair of scissors." Bryce read my words with puzzled eyes, "What do you want scissors for?"

Kingsley also looked at me with an alert look.

"I just wanted to cut Severus Snape's hair." I was tired and finished writing this sentence, leaving Kingsley and Bryce standing still and walking away on crutches.

Borrowing a pair of barely-handy scissors from the nurse on duty, I turned back to my room.Snape was still in a deep sleep—strange, he used to be a very light sleeper, why couldn't he wake up now?I still remember being woken up by him every time I had a nightmare, because he would hug me tightly and whisper softly in my ear to comfort me.The dark clouds in the nightmarish sky gradually dissipated with his voice, and with his body temperature gradually faded...

I went to the head of the bed, dragged the chair and sat down, managed to prop up his head with pillows, and turned it sideways, with most of his hair facing me.

In the past, whenever I thought his hair was too long, I would always take him to a barber shop in Diagon Alley, but he didn’t like being fucked by the barber, so I learned to cut his hair by myself, Although the craftsmanship is not good, you can still see it after taking the magic spell and practicing it later.

I carefully repaired it with the large scissors in my hand. The room was very quiet, only the clear click of the scissors could be heard.

I don't know how long it took, until the sky was a little darker, I managed to manage his hair, put down the scissors and inserted my fingers into the hair to smooth him gently.I did all this naturally and skillfully, because I didn't have to face him when he woke up, so I lost a layer of defensive armor.I can go back to the past leisurely, I am the painful and happy Tata, and he is the deep and gentle Severus.

I stared at the frown between his brows, remembering the first time I realized that he cared about me, because I saw the sadness froze between his brows.I know I can affect his emotions and he'll suffer for my pain - I'm so happy I can't sleep for days forgetting about the pain just because of his turn and my whole world starts to light up .

I know that he has always cared about me, maybe this kind of care is hidden in an inconspicuous corner of his life, which makes my love for him worthwhile.

As for the difference between this kind of care and love, I have been thinking about it for too long, and now I no longer have the energy to find the answer.A disabled, tired and exhausted me, I have no desire to start a new life.

If there's anything I got from the story between him and Lily other than heart-piercing pain, it's that I still think he's great enough to keep love in his heart and take responsibility for the rest of his life.

His love for Lily should be intact, and I have no right to destroy it.And if I choose to leave, he is not qualified to stay.

On the night when we became a real couple, when I changed from a girl to a real woman, besides being shy and joyful, I also asked him if I only love one person?

I naively thought that I met him very early and occupied his whole life, so my question was pitifully naive and hatefully simple.How would I know that there was another person in his life ten years before he met me?The man's handwriting was hidden in the interlayer of his underwear, so he never let me wash his underwear.And that person's child was under his wing, and he would rather give his life.

And the most important thing is that he looked at me at that time and said to me quietly, yes.

Yes, he only loves one person.

I seem to have been thinking for a long time, and I didn't even notice the movement from my fingertips.His cheek brushed my finger near his ear.He turned his head slowly and looked at me.

I thought I was hallucinating and looked at him in a daze.

Until he said hoarsely: "Tata..."

I seemed to have been poured cold water all over my body, from the beginning to the end.I shuddered, and began to shiver at the ridiculous memories I had just had.

He continued: "Tata... where am I?"

I didn't answer him, I couldn't speak, and I couldn't find the strength to write.

"Tata, why don't you speak?" He shook his head weakly, and looked around with his eyes wide open. "Here, is St. Mungo?"

I remained silent, sitting motionless in my chair.

"Are...are you better?" He slowly pulled out his left hand from under the quilt and hung it in the air. "I……"

I got up on crutches and didn't look at him again.

The moment I walked out of the room, all I could say was, "Happy birthday, Severus."