[HP] Don't talk to me

I stretched out my hand and gently opened the window to bask in the sun.It's been too long since I have faced the sun, since I lived in St. Mungo's.

The sun is very good, warm with temperature, I squint my eyes to feel the itching of the sun climbing up my forehead.There was the sound of birds singing in the woods, and the sound of the wind, which passed quickly.

I really didn't expect that I would have the opportunity to pass the time in such a peaceful way.When Voldemort knocked me down, I thought I was going to die.The pain of being bitten by Nagini seems to be awakened again at this moment of my recollection, the moment when I bit my throat, the blood vessels throbbing extremely fast, and the fear surging out.I shivered violently and opened my eyes.Looking at the pale ceiling.

This is a different world, a world without Voldemort.Everything should start over.

I've been thinking about this for the past few days.

When Dr. Mendel opened the door and came in, I was lying back on the bed, ready to accept his examination obediently, and watched him take a wand and scan me carefully.

"You still have rejection reactions," he frowned just like that person, making people nervous and a little scared. "Take a little more of the newly delivered potion."

"Actually, I'm almost healed, really." I tried my best to look energetic, and said seriously, "I've been lying here for almost two months, if it really doesn't work, it won't hurt to lie down for another two months." Or not."

"The disease is not cured, so I can't go out." The doctor still had a straight face, and his words sounded like there was no leeway left.Obviously, he didn't mean to discuss it with me.

"But I... don't want to be cured anymore."

I lowered my voice and withdrew my smile.

"No, it's up to you." The doctor answered more bluntly while taking out the potion bottle.

"Why? My own body can't make decisions by itself?"

"Because you didn't pay for your medical expenses yourself. The money came from Principal Snape. If you want to give up treatment, the hospital must get his consent. And you know, he won't agree."

"I didn't let him save me!" I held my head in my hands angrily, and sat up from the bed, feeling very tight in my chest for a while, "I didn't let him! Don't save me, please tell him! Please! Let him Leave me alone!"

The doctor shook his head, he didn't even bother to look at me, put the potion on the side table, turned and went out.

I panted heavily, and it took me a while to recover from the excitement, and I lay back on the bed slumped.

I heard the ticking of a needle in a clock.

I was alone in the room, no one could come in and no one could go out except the doctors and nurses.Perhaps, the only visitor is the sunlight outside the window.

I can't go, I'm stuck here.

I really want to know why he came to save me, I can only look at the moving photos of him in the Daily Prophet and understand that his still silent and grim face will not tell me the answer.

He didn't even bring me a message.Professor McGonagall also sent me a sincere greeting letter every other week, and other professors always had some cards or small gifts, and Hagrid even sent me a large bouquet of flowers regularly.

Since I slowly regained consciousness half a month ago, I have been eager to talk to him.I know how huge my medical expenses are, maybe he can bear it at first, but he will eventually use up all his savings, what should he do then?And I'm afraid I can't pay him back a dime, and I'll owe him money for the rest of my life, and I can't bear to think about it.

I even tried suicide to end this torture.

Originally, my current life was a mistake.I should have died long ago, either in Nagini's mouth or in Voldemort's hands.I clearly remember that I was hurt by both at the same time, and that scene was as clear as yesterday.When I fell down, I didn't have any nostalgia for the world. From the moment I knew the truth, I was already a dead-hearted walking dead.I'm very tired, so maybe death will be just right.But I didn't die, it was only because of the ancient life-protection spell unique to my family, it ran out to save my life when it should not have appeared.

Originally, I thought that the life-protecting spell had already been used, and I would no longer have any obstacles in seeking death and life, so I adopted the simplest method to seek death.

I don't have a wand right now, not even a personal item.So I knocked over the potion bottle, found the shattered glass, and carefully compared the sharpest piece.

It's hard to say cutting your wrists is a pleasant thing, it hurts.Perhaps, it was comparable to the one bitten by Nagini.

I hung my hand to the side of the bed, let the blood drip more and more on the ground, and quietly opened my eyes, waiting for time and life to pass by at the same time.I suddenly remembered many things, the stupidest and stupidest things that I did.I also think of the worst choices I made when I was so purely impulsive.

I don't know if I regret it, but I really want to live again.

It's a pity that in the middle of the night, the nurse who made the rounds discovered my feat. Although I was already in a deep sleep at that time, I did not achieve my goal in the end.

It has been a week since that day, and the ward I live in has many nurse spells. They are like countless pairs of ubiquitous eyes, watching my every move all the time, not even a chance for me to take advantage of the loopholes. Give again.

As long as the teacup is broken, before I can pick up the pieces, the teacup will quickly change back to its intact state.As long as I stretched my body out of the window a little more, an invisible force would suddenly pull me to the bed, and then, with my desperate eyes, shut the window with a bang.

what do I do?Continue to be a living dead?

I lay in bed mourning my fate so much, but I couldn't cry anymore.This is really strange.In the past, I mean there was a time when I was such a crybaby that I felt ashamed if I didn't cry for three days.

Every time I was seen crying by that guy, he would just stare at me with a disgusted look and walk away.

I still remember his leather boots would sing like a thud thump until he was far away, and then the sound would get quieter.

I was thinking wildly, and it was another night with my eyes open.

Andrew was allowed to visit me once, after three days of my forced hunger strike.In fact, I have to say that starvation food is not very useful, because they can always find a way to pry my mouth open, or inject two extra needles in my arm, and pour some colorful potions into it. The kind of hard to swallow is hopeless s things.

But I believe that my suicide and hunger strike have brought some impact to them after all.Especially him, I hope he understands that I have my own insistence on some things.

I have died once, and the new me has eaten the old me.

When Andrew walked in, I stared at the ceiling and forgot what I was thinking. I couldn't recall my behavior from the previous second, because everything was meaningless, and there was no difference between the last second and the next second.

"How are you, Tata?"

"What do you think?" I didn't move, even though I was so excited to hear Andrew's voice.

"Dr. Mendel is always telling us about your injury, and he says there's still good hope of finding a solution."

"Don't listen to his nonsense, my own body knows it." For a moment, I doubted whether our conversation was being monitored, because I suddenly saw a big fly that I had never seen before coming in through the window, Stop on the ledge.But I immediately denied my paranoia, I don't think I'm so important.

"I heard you did a lot of things, I can't believe it." Andrew sat on the chair where the doctor used to rest, a little excited.

"I committed suicide and went on a hunger strike, have you heard about both?"

"No, I mean before... the time you saved Snape from Voldemort."

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, why do I have to lift which pot without opening it.

"Your story has spread throughout the magic world, even I know it as far away as Georgia."

"Oh, that's it." I replied.I'm well aware of how widely that story has spread, it's been in the Daily Prophet for almost a long time, but almost everything that's been reported is wrong.

"If you continue to persevere, the disease will definitely be cured."

I shook my head and saw the sincerity on Andrew's face, but I was unwilling to really break his hope. "Okay, let me borrow your good words."

Andrew told me a little bit about his tenure at the Georgia Academy of Magic and Magic.He returned to his hometown and lived happily, with a wife and a daughter.

It's so fast, it's been ten years since we graduated from Hogwarts, and our classmates have gone their separate ways, except for a few who have the opportunity to get together, the rest have almost forgotten each other.

Andrew was the first friend I ever met. When we were in Ravenclaw together, he was always first and I was always second.Many times I wanted to cast a few vicious spells on him to relieve my hatred, but he was a nice guy, so good that I couldn't do anything to him, so good that I actually willingly became his pure friend of the opposite sex in the end.

Maybe I miss those days too much, so I have to see Andrew and hear him speak to me, which has a sense of strength and support.Maybe I'm just too tired and have no vision for the future, so I might as well go back to the past to escape.

When Andrew was about to leave, I held his hand tightly.I looked at him and said word by word: "Come see me again in a few days, okay?"

He was a little surprised.But God knows, although he is honest, he is not clumsy, he nodded.

I believe Andrew is a man who keeps his word.I was in a much better mood those days and I was waiting for him to come back.

At the same time, I really want to go outside to soak up the sun, because I think if I don't go out, maybe one day I will forget how to walk.I can't lie down, only people in coffins lie forever, since they want me alive, don't make me feel like I'm in a coffin.

I told Dr. Mendel this logical statement, and he said he would think about it.A day later he said he was trying to get me up and go look in the garden.

I walked into the garden accompanied by two nurses.The colorful flowers and lush grass are all there, which is really beautiful.I stretched my nose greedily to sniff, and then suddenly remembered a bad thing Dr. Mendel told me. I lost my sense of smell.

Nagini was a stupid snake, and it bit many of my nerves, including the ones of smell.I'd rather it was my palate that it bit off at the time - then I wouldn't have to suffer so much from drinking those horribly nasty potions.However, its technology is really poor.

I was a little disappointed to find a place to sit down.Okay, I can still see these flowers and plants, which is not bad.A person who committed suicide a few days ago, who has the right to complain?

I was in a daze for a while, until a childish voice floated over and interrupted my thoughts.

"Are you Tata?" It was a little girl of eight or nine years old. She held up a white flower and stretched it out in front of me.

"Give it to you."

She was also wearing a hospital gown, and there was a woman standing not far behind, who looked like her mother.The woman smiled at me.

The little girl smiled as she watched me take the flowers.Then the same question was asked again: "Are you Tata?"

"Yes, I am."

"Are you the hero who saved Headmaster Snape from Voldemort?"

I want to veto this statement, I am not a hero, but a bear.But I didn't want to hurt a little girl, so I finally nodded in submission.

"You are amazing! You are simply amazing!"

"I didn't do anything."

The little girl lowered her head and thought for a while, then raised her head and said, "But my mother and others said that your leg was lost while fighting Voldemort."

I lifted my legs and compared the good left with the broken right.My right leg was amputated at the knee, and my hospital pants were tied up to keep from mopping the floor.Seems kind of ridiculous, and not at all heroic.

I wanted to explain to the little girl that Voldemort cast a spell on my chest, so that I might be more comfortable now, at least not sitting in a garden full of flowers, facing the smell of nothing to the problem.However, Voldemort was hugged by a big villain.His spell went off track and hit my right leg.Looking back at that scene at this moment, the regret that I didn't die made me less happy.

Unfortunately, the little girl was soon taken away by her mother.Her mother looked at me with a frightened expression, as if she was afraid that if her daughter said a few more words, I would be hurt—it wasn’t.Although the little girl turned her head and smiled at me before leaving, which made me feel very comforted like a little angel, but my nagging was also ignored by no one.

I continued to be in a daze in the garden. It must have been quite a long time, until the nurse carefully reminded me that it was time to go back. I was reluctantly carried into the wheelchair by them and pushed back to the ward.

With this breakthrough, I asked Dr. Mendel to take a daily walk in the garden, and he agreed.The condition in exchange was that I would not commit suicide or go on hunger strike again.

Now that I've met Andrew, I didn't intend to go on a hunger strike. I still want to eat and drink until he comes to see me again.

However, I didn't wait for Andrew right away.

Instead, another person came.