Late autumn

Returned from studying abroad.In the eyes of ordinary people, this must be a beautiful and honorable thing.Not so for me.Holding a doctorate degree certificate, standing on the street with people coming and going, looking at every returned student who is in the same company in high spirits, I can't help asking myself: who am I, where am I going, and where is my path?I came back here more than ten years later, but my heart was inexplicably sad. The memories here are cold, but this place called "hometown" never brought me any warmth.

I took a taxi and followed the directions to a bar through a text message.The text message said that someone will meet me there.

I ordered a cocktail and sat down by the window, shaking the glass leisurely, waiting for that person to appear.I don't like drinking, and I order a glass of wine just as a secret signal to meet.An hour, two hours... Time passed gradually while waiting, until a man with long blond hair walked up to me and sat down.He doesn't speak, and neither do I.

"Waiter, have a bottle of Sherry." His voice was magnetic.

"You don't look like someone who likes to drink sweet wine, Sherry is not for you." I said these words with a deadpan expression.

"Oh?" He was very interested, "Then what kind of wine do you think I am suitable for drinking?" His eyes were on me, it should be him.I met his gaze, "Gin."

He got up and I followed him.Sitting in his Porsche, he is not driving.He lit a cigarette and told the driver, "Go to the research institute."

Looking at the scenery passing by outside the window, in a trance, I recalled the scene of two little girls hugging each other and crying. It seemed to be the scene where my young sister and I had just learned the bad news of our parents.At that time, our tears could flow wantonly. Although we were powerless to change our cruel fate, we could still cry and make trouble as we wanted according to our own temperament.But now, I have learned to wear a mask to communicate with people. After a long time, I began to feel that the real me revealed by the mask is the real me. The original me must have been left on the way to study abroad.At the request of the organization, I went abroad to study, perhaps out of a sense of precaution. After ten years of living in a foreign country, I gradually learned to hide myself and hide myself in a place where no one can find me.All that is left to others is a cold face.I'm well aware that this type of personality isn't flattering, but even so, so what?Already used to a person's life, loneliness will become an addiction.

"Is that Miyano Shiho?" He flipped through my profile and asked quietly, "You're so arrogant, you'll be treated like this when you return to your country."

"Yes, big brother." The driver on the side echoed, "Just after returning to China, the boss can directly give you an order to meet her in person. The ostentation is really not small!"

The person called "Big Brother" ignored him, and instead asked me, "Tell me, what reason do you have for that gentleman to value you so much?"

I have seen all kinds of sarcasm and sarcasm over the years, and I don't care about what he said: "The reason is very simple, I can develop for him what he needs most now."

He snorted coldly and said, "This is the use value you rely on to survive in the organization."

"Use value?" I asked with a chuckle, "So, your use value is to kill people? Don't you think it's selfish? To snatch other people's livelihood for your own survival, and use other people's blood to water the flower of your life, how can you still use it?" I can really do it." Retweet him unceremoniously, this is my most common tactic in the face of sarcasm.

He looked disdainful, "In order to survive, people are selfish. The laboratory and the shooting range are two worlds. You just returned to the organization, and it is normal for us to have different views. But I want to remind you that you are not a People, I hope you can gain a firm foothold in the organization, if you fall, not only you, but also your sister will fall into the abyss with you."

I knew that the organization would be so kind to not let my sister join it, just to restrain me.What I fear most when walking in the dark is letting others find my weakness, and my weakness has been fully exposed. I have no chance to resist, so I have to let them manipulate me.Now that I'm back in China and reunited with my sister again, I don't know if it's a blessing or a curse.

"Brother, we're here." The big man with sunglasses on the side said to the long-haired man in the co-pilot.

"You wait in the car, Vodka." The man replied stiffly, without a trace of emotion.

Only then did I realize that the text message from the organization not only mentioned the secret code when we met, but also seemed to mention that the code name of the long-haired man I met was "Gin".

"Using the name of the wine as a code name is really strange." I said this after getting off the car.The man beside you is expressionless, and you also have a wine code name.

"Oh? What is it?"

"I told you back at the bar that the scientists of the organization were so dull." His irony was obvious.

The bar...I think back, Sherry, what is the sunshine in Spain...Leaving me a piece of sunshine in the black world can be regarded as my company.At least give me a glimmer of hope in the dark.

The terrain of the research institute is very complicated, we made a detour around to a building.He took me to the laboratory, where the entire pharmaceutical department was waiting.

"Ah, Gin. You are finally here. The whole department has been waiting for you for a whole morning. This lady is really very impressive." A man who looked to be in his 50s came up to him, Gin ignored him, He walked to a chair and sat down on his own, lighting a cigarette.

The man seemed a little embarrassed, and turned to me again: "These are the leading members of the Drug Department. I am the Minister, code-named Brandy, please advise me."

"Miyano Shiho, please give me your advice." I stretched out my right hand and said calmly.

His face seemed to change for a moment, but then returned to normal. "Then your code name..."

"Sherry."

A smile appeared on his face again, "Then, these are the leaders of other drug groups..." He introduced each leader to me one by one.

It's too complicated.After a lap, I hardly remember anyone.

Gin led me to my office, "You made a serious mistake today."

"Oh? What is it?" Although I asked, I didn't care.

"You revealed your name. If the people present just now have spies, you will be controlled as soon as you leave the organization's door."

"Why, are you not allowed to reveal your real name in the organization? But it doesn't matter to me. I don't often walk out of the organization, and I'm also a dispensable person in society. No one will care about it."

"Remember to use the code name in the future." He left alone after leaving a sentence.

I stepped into the laboratory and started the experiment.

Everything around me is so strange, I left Japan when I was a little girl who didn't understand.Fast forward so many years, I don't even remember I ever belonged here.I walked slowly to the laboratory bench and sat down, shaking the light yellow liquid in the test tube, thinking of my parents.How long have I been separated from them?I do not remember.Even their faces are vague to my memory.I just remember my mother's brown hair.People call her the angel who fell into hell, maybe she really is an angel.But, Dad, Mom, I don't understand, are you willing to sacrifice yourself for this medicine?People in the organization call this drug a dream drug. I don't know where it brings dreams to people. I only know that this drug is the chief culprit who took my parents away and the initiator of the separation of our sisters.I can't imagine what kind of dreamy effect it will have, but it brings me insomnia and nightmares night after night.

I knew very well that from the moment I was taken back by the organization, my nightmare would never end again.I chose to shut myself in the lab all day and not deal with people from the organization.For such an unfathomable organization, I really don't want to get too involved with them.

However, things are often counterproductive. Perhaps from the moment I took over the APTX4869 drug research, I have been inseparable from this organization.

According to the order issued by the Boss, I was appointed as the leader of the APTX research group, which is under the Department of Medicine.The all-night experiments during this period made the research on APTX advance by leaps and bounds, and soon the first batch of trial products of this drug was formulated.I injected them into the bodies of mice, and some of them had the effect as I expected, but because the bodies of the mice couldn't bear the severe effect of the medicine, most of them died.I asked my researchers to dispose of these corpses.I suddenly thought of what I said to Gin: "Use the blood of others to water the flower of your own life."

In natural philosophy, we emphasize the equality of all beings, but now, am I not using other lives to satisfy my curiosity and thirst for knowledge?I am no different from them!Thinking of this, I can't help but feel sad, am I the same as them?

Many team members asked to use the trial product to conduct a batch of human experiments, but I vetoed it. You must know that injecting a human body with an experimental drug that is still in the development stage is tantamount to shooting them directly.No, it should be more than shooting them.There are only two cases after shooting, either they miss the point and they are lucky to survive and they will return to normal after a while, or they hit the point and the life will be over immediately without too much pain.As for the injection of drugs, there are also two results, either the very lucky test is successful, but their bodies will no longer be the same as normal people, and as test subjects, they will no longer have freedom.But the chances of the experiment being successful are very slim. Most of the possibilities are that they will lose their lives due to the drugs and will experience a very painful dying period.This way of killing is the most cruel.

People in the research team were arguing over this, but I still concentrated on my research and ignored them.Science has both spirit and principles. The university instructors told us that researching science is for the benefit of mankind, and living body experiments violate scientific principles. Since it is a principle, it is not so easy to be broken.