Cold violence

"I don't think you live on campus. Where do you live?" On the last night before school was over, the self-study teacher patrolled the school. Occasionally, students whispered in the classroom. He Chu finished his homework early and told Not going to do the after-class exercises like other students, he was so bored that he started to pass notes to Zhou Yu again.

Practice questions... He doesn't need it, anyway, he can do well in the exam just by listening to the lectures.

Since he was a child, He Chu relied on his brain being easier to use, so his grades were better, and he didn't pay much attention to his studies.

He knew that Zhou Yu finished his homework very early, and the students in the top class generally regarded the knowledge in the textbook as a piece of cake. The most popular is Stendhal's "Red and Black".

Tsk...it's really leisurely.

Thanks to Zhou Yu being a patient person, He Chuguang already felt that he couldn't read it anymore just by looking at the thickness of the book.

He Chu doesn't like reading very much. He prefers to spend his time on interesting things. He doesn't understand why all the students are doing exercises with practice questions, and he doesn't understand why Zhou Yu has the patience to do it. Read such a profound book.

He and Zhou Yu have different hobbies... This is a big problem.

"?" Soon Zhou Yu passed the note back, expressing his inner doubts with a punctuation mark.

Zhou Yu felt that he and He Chu didn't seem to be familiar enough to tell each other their home addresses.

"I see that you eat too little, and I'm afraid you live too far away and you'll be hungry and have nothing to eat when you go back." He Chu rolled his eyes in his heart, somewhat incomprehensible to Zhou Yu's vigilant reaction.

They are both in high school, and both of them are boys, so why are you so defensive?

But... In fact, he could understand Zhou Yu's conservatism. Anyone would be like this, but He Chu did have other ideas when he asked Zhou Yu.

So he told a little lie, because he really wanted to know where Zhou Yu's house was, and he might use it someday?

Young Master He has always been very confident about these things.

Seeing what he said, Zhou Yu's heart moved slightly, and he felt that He Chu's words should be concerned about him, so he wrote: "I rented a house near the school myself."

"Is anyone here with you at home?"

"No. I'm alone."

A person?

He Chu was suspicious, what happened to Zhou Yu's family, they were so relieved that a kid who just entered high school came out to rent a house by himself?Aren't they afraid that something will happen to the child outside alone?

Although He Chu's own family is not very strict, the parents will not let He Chu go out to live alone.

"Then you won't go back this weekend?"

"Probably not, it depends on the situation." Zhou Yu thought about it and wrote a more appropriate reply.

At the same time, he was also wondering under what circumstances he would go home—the big house that was empty except for the nanny.

His big house is really empty... Every time he returns to that place, the nanny will greet him with a smile, giving him a vague feeling that this "home" is not indifferent.

But if he came back late, the nanny had already fallen asleep, and even a small light was not on in the living room, he would realize that this "home" was so empty when he inadvertently.

He thought, maybe... one day a strong wind blew up in the city, and the strong wind swept across his "home" fiercely, but in the end it couldn't even take anything away, because there was nothing there.

Originally, it was just a place with nothing but a few sets of furniture, so the wind probably didn't know what to take away from it.

His mother already had her favorite home, except that one day during the Chinese New Year she would come back to give Zhou Yu one year's living expenses and the nanny's expensive commission, she would not even take a second look at this "home".

So what did he do when he went back?All the elders on his father's side were abroad, and his mother's relatives had little contact with Zhou Yu. He didn't go back because he couldn't find the meaning of going back.

At a young age, Zhou Yu lived like a loner. .

Oh, by the way, the reason his mother was looking for a new home was because his father was gone, although their "family" had existed in name only when his father was around.

So what kind of situation will he go back?Maybe it was the day the nanny was due to quit, maybe it was the day his mother came to visit and found him absent, maybe it was the day the house really became "home".

But what is the real "home"?

Modern people seem to be more and more obsessed with "home". Having a home is like having a place where you can shelter from the wind. Subconsciously, everyone has regarded "home" as the last line of defense in their hearts. Go back there to give yourself a little warmth when you are most helpless, even if it is just an empty house.

In the final analysis, that is, lack of security.

"Then how boring you are alone, the houses around the school seem to be quite expensive?"

"It's okay." Zhou Yu didn't like this kind of small amount of money. Maybe money was the only compensation he could give him, who was about to become his mother in name only.

Adults always think that money can solve many problems, but what Zhou Yu doesn't value most is money.

In his eyes, money is like a satire, satirizing how incomplete his family is and how lonely his life is, so he needs a lot of money to fill a little emptiness in his heart.

What's ridiculous is that the money was all forced into him.He was like a poor wretch who was given a small compensation to be able to look fine on the surface, and he had to put on a "he's fine" look.

"Then why don't you live on campus? I see that many students in our class live on campus."

Live in school?How can a person like me live in school?Zhou Yu felt a little funny when he heard this question for no reason. His misfit was made public when he first started school, and living in school was even more impossible for him.

He thought He Chu could tell, but now he actually asked it outright.

Is it because He Chu gave him such a good impression these days?That's why I had the illusion that He Chu understood him?

What He Chu didn't know, they had only known each other for a few days, how much did he know about himself?

He didn't want to reply at first, but he felt that it's not good to add his emotions to others at will, so he chose the least embarrassing reason: "...it's not good to get along."

"Why?" He Chu chattered a little, as if he wanted Zhou Yu to put all the thoughts in his heart on paper, including the things in his heart that he desperately wanted to hide.

what why?Getting along well is getting along badly, there is no reason.

Zhou Yu didn't want to answer this question anymore, he felt that if he continued, He Chu would ask him what made him not good at getting along with people, so he gently pushed the note back without writing another reply.

He Chu turned his head to look at Zhou Yu, but unfortunately Zhou Yu didn't look at him, but still lowered his head, looking at the heavy book.

This made it clear what he meant by refusing to answer, but He Chu didn't feel any sense of loss in being rejected.

He saw that Zhou Yu's hair was a little long, and the hair at the back was almost growing to the nape of his neck. The broken hair on his forehead cast a shadow on his face when he lowered his head, making He Chu unable to see his expression clearly. From the corner of his mouth in the light, you can tell whether he is happy or sad.

But most of the time, Zhou Yu had an expressionless face, which was an expression that He Chu couldn't see through.

He thought for a while, then tore a piece of paper to Zhou Yu, and wrote on it: "I seem to have read your book as well."

He Chu lied again, he had only heard the title of this book before, French literature?He was not interested at all, he just wanted to have more common topics with Zhou Yu.

Since you want to chase people, you must constantly create opportunities for chatting.

This time Zhou Yu didn't hesitate any longer, and quickly replied: "The book is very classic. We can communicate with each other when we have time."

He Chu looked at Zhou Yu's official reply written in correct font, and then looked at Zhou Yu's indifferent face, and suddenly felt a sense of powerlessness in his heart, which made him want to sigh a long time.

——Why does this person like reading so much?His deskmate is next to him, don't you know how to take a second look?

His reply is like those people who are overreaching to strike up a conversation with a girl, but the girl says "the next time I have a chance to xxx" and you block her back.

This was the first time He Chu was rejected so bluntly by someone, so he couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.

Nerd, he moved his lips silently.

With his chin propped up, he scanned every corner of the classroom, watching every move of every student in the class.

They have different shapes, some people smile from time to time, some frown tightly, some show embarrassment; Popular cartoons or celebrities commit nympho.

A flash of inspiration flashed in his mind, and he suddenly felt that he seemed to understand the reason why Zhou Yu said "it doesn't get along well".

Zhou Yu never took the initiative to talk to anyone, and he and He Chu didn't seem to have much in common.

When everyone is listening to popular music, he is listening to medieval classical music. When everyone is chasing their favorite comics, he is reading French literature. When everyone is doing group activities, he is also quietly dissociated from the group. When we got acquainted, he even seemed so rare to joke with his deskmate.

Such a person who has nothing in common with the whole class...how can he live in school and get along with those who are completely different from him day and night?

After thinking this through, He Chu suddenly understood everything, and an emotion called "pity" arose in his heart.

He likes Zhou Yu's face, and now he is also full of interest in this person, but at this moment he wants to bring this person into his world even more.

He has a young master's temper, and he can't see that those he cares about have a bad life.

He wants to see this person's heart, wants to know his daily emotions, wants to get closer to him, wants to probe into this person's soul through his beautiful skin.

——I want to help him and make him happy.

After this idea took shape in his mind, for the first time, he felt that his position as squad leader was very meaningful, if it was based on being able to take the opportunity to not be so lonely.

One minute before the bell rang for the end of get out of class, Zhou Yu started to pack her schoolbag.He mastered the time exactly, and the moment he zipped up his schoolbag, the bell for the end of get out of class began to ring.Zhou Yu stood up without hesitation and prepared to go out through the back door. He had no intention of saying goodbye to He Chu until He Chu grabbed him by the corner of his clothes.

"Walk so fast, don't you say hello to me?"

Zhou Yu was taken aback, he had never had such a habit.He didn't even like crowds, so he tried to leave early by himself when school was over.

"Okay. See you tomorrow." After he finished speaking, he pulled out the corner of his clothes in He Chu's hands, and left quickly. The voices in the classroom gradually became louder, but he still heard He Chu chuckled softly behind his back: "Sure enough It's a little idiot."

Zhou Yu adjusted her schoolbag, opened the back door and walked into the empty corridor.

Zhou Yu sat in a dim room and only turned on a light at the door.

That lamp was probably replaced by a light bulb with low power to save electricity. The range of the light was so small that it couldn't even illuminate the living room.

It was still very early, but Zhou Yu didn't intend to prepare for review.He habitually sits down, diverting his thinking for a while when he thinks of something, most of the time he spends summarizing what happened today, and then reflecting.

He thought of the "why" He Chu asked him during evening self-study.

Why can't he live on campus?Why doesn't he get along well with his roommates?

Maybe that's all he has to do.

Zhou Yu thought a little dazedly, maybe in the past three years of high school, he would still be that person who went his own way and dissociated from the group.

He knew that he and his classmates had nothing in common, which was exactly the same as in junior high school, including He Chu.

He felt that He Chu was racking his brains to find something to talk to him every time, but he didn't like it.He felt that this state would make him feel that he was dragging down He Chu's relationship with other classmates, and even at some moments he would feel extremely that He Chu was pitying him.Although this thought was only fleeting at the time.

However, he really felt that it was completely unnecessary for He Chu to do so.Is that what it said? --Something will occur if it belongs to your life, if not, do not push it.So after so long, Zhou Yu often told himself "don't force it".

But why did he miss He Chu like that?

he asked himself.

The first impression He Chu gives people is that he lives in the sun, while Zhou Yu seems to live in the shadow of darkness.

From the day he signed up, he only had contact with He Chu for two days, and during the remaining six days of military training, he felt that he was faintly envious of He Chu.

I envy his eternal sunshine, envy his communication skills, envy all the advantages he has.

Where there is light in this world, there must be shadows.People living in the shadows desperately want to rush into the sunshine, but those people in the sunshine never take the initiative to care about those living in the shadows, and never pay attention to the price they pay to pursue the light .

And Zhou Yu happened to be the one who couldn't give up and couldn't afford to pay the price.

—He is powerless to change his current situation, no matter how much he wants to.

He Chu lived like he wanted to live, and he was willing to touch himself in the shadows.

He was also a little fortunate that He Chu didn't continue to ask when he avoided answering his question. If He Chu asked again, Zhou Yu didn't know what answer he would give.Maybe he won't be able to control his vague envy towards He Chu, maybe he will reveal all the invisible fragility in his heart, or maybe he will become sharp and say something that can bring He Chu back to life. If you push it away.

In many cases, he can't control his emotions perfectly, just like when he met Yu Jingzhou today.

And of all the possible responses he could have, none was acceptable to him.

Zhou Yu... you are really cowardly.

You don't even dare to get out of the current state, and there is a cold and hard shell.

"But...if I lose even this outer shell, what's left of me?" he heard him ask himself.

He might have tried it long ago, too.However, the hobbies and habits he had developed since he was a child were not something he could have the courage to give up when he was young. Unfortunately, when he grew up, he had already regarded this state as a habit and could not change it.

Thinking of this, he suddenly felt a little tired, that's the end of today's homework.

"Or...forget it."

In this way, it is good to maintain the status quo. At the very least, it will not hurt others because of emotions that are sometimes difficult to control by yourself.

He relaxed, leaned his head back on the sofa, closed his eyes and listened to his gentle breathing.

The notification tone of the text message on the mobile phone broke the tranquility, Zhou Yu opened his eyes to look at the flickering mobile phone screen, and felt that he was brighter than the light at the door.

There is something that can illuminate that little light for you in your darkness, maybe it is more dazzling than the sun at that moment.

It was a text message from He Chu.This time he said:

"Maybe I know why."

Zhou Yu was taken aback for a moment, not thinking about how to reply to this seemingly groundless sentence, and then the second text message arrived, and He Chu said:

"See you tomorrow, Zhou Yu kid."

Zhou Yu smiled.

His mood seemed to improve because of these two sentences, he replied to He Chu: "Good night, little friend He Chu."

Maybe...it's not as bad as I thought?Yes or no?

The author has something to say: "Little friends" (emphasis added).