Cold violence

The author has something to say: This article has a supporting role, but his existence has always entangled me when writing it.

So... the feeling I get from this chapter is messed up.

Also, I saw a comment from a kid, so let’s talk about it here. I personally think that there is nothing abusive in this article, and HE can read it with confidence.

The first physical education class of the new high school did not have any substantive training content. The physical education teacher organized the team to call names one by one and explained the precautions, and then let the students disband.

Zhou Yu found a shady place and sat down after hearing "Disbandment".There were other senior classes on the playground, and he stared at the people on the football field and began to daze again.

"Are you going to play ball?"

Ever since Zhou Yu raised the issue of "skin color" with He Chu, He Chu seemed to have suddenly started to pay more attention to his skin color, and even sat under the shade of a tree like Zhou Yu when he was waiting for the sports committee to get the ball.

At this moment, what he came up to say was obviously just a very ordinary sentence, but Zhou Yu somehow felt that his tone was a bit "thiefy" - just like the kind of weasel staring at a chicken that has no strength to restrain it. Hungry expression.

Zhou Yu felt that his eyes were not serious, so he said, "Go and play, I won't go."

"That's not okay. If someone like you who doesn't like sports wants to do something to you when you go out in the future, what will you do? If you don't want to fight, just come with me, and I'll be your deskmate."

Zhou Yu turned his head slowly, and said with a blank expression, "Didn't you just come here to ask for my opinion? It's not that I don't like sports, I just don't like to bask in the sun. And I have abs and a six pack. "

"What did you say?"

He Chu was taken aback for a moment, and under Zhou Yu's gaze, an unbelievable message suddenly exploded in his mind:

Zhou Yu actually has abdominal muscles? ? ?Fuck Zhou Yu actually has abs! ?This guy actually has six dollars!

However, what He Chu didn't like the most was Zhou Yu's state. Whenever Zhou Yu spoke like this, it was too intimidating, as if whoever forced him would die without a place to die.

However, He Chu obviously belongs to the type of "itching all day long", so he moved in his "good friend" Li Qi who has been around for thousands of years: "Who doesn't have abs these days. Anyway, you don't move like this." It’s just not possible, Li Qi, come here! Come and help me carry my deskmate to the basketball court to serve him well!”

Li Qiben rushed over and stopped the car abruptly when he heard the last words in He Chu's words.With an expression of "He Chu, are you a beast?" said: "You... why are you serving people on the basketball court?"

"You don't care how I serve others, come and help me quickly." He Chu stood up and put his hands on Zhou Yu's shoulders, making a gesture to lift his arms, and Li Qi said coyly, "No, not really Well this..." with a look of "I hate iron but not steel".

"How can you hurry over like a little daughter-in-law?"

Zhou Yu had been watching coldly from the sidelines, until Li Qi twisted to his side and was about to reach out, he realized that He Chu was not joking with him but was really going to carry him to the basketball court, and hurriedly avoided the two of them hands trying to stand up.

"I do not want to go."

——Not only did he not want to bask in the sun, but he also didn't want to see the expressions of his classmates when they looked at him. Those deliberately suppressed whispers and slightly disgusted expressions made him more uncomfortable than basking in the sun.He has long been used to staying alone in the corner, and he can't change it.

We haven't been together for a long time, but we have already heard a lot of gossip.

"Look at what else I don't want to go. Why, don't want to meet the technology at the same table as you?"

"I do not……"

"A Yu?"

Zhou Yu wanted to say something more, but suddenly he heard someone calling his nickname from behind. That voice was so familiar that even the things in his memory were hooked up.He turned his head abruptly, and saw the man who called him looking at him with a smile on his face.

For a moment his mind went blank, he was...

He Chu was frightened by his fierce reaction, and reflexively removed his hand on Zhou Yu's shoulder, and quickly took a step back.

"What? It's been a long time since I saw you and you don't know me?"

It's Yu Jingzhou.

"I... No, I didn't," Zhou Yu saw Yu Jingzhou standing up in a hurry, speaking incoherently, his eyes suddenly went dark, his mind went blank, and he was about to fall down the steps, but he could feel the person stretching. Arms took him.

"Didn't eat breakfast again, right? If you have low blood sugar, it's better not to stand up like this, is it better?" Yu Jingzhou stretched out his hand and waved it in front of Zhou Yu's eyes. Seeing his blank eyes, he knew that he was still in this state Did not pass, not in a hurry, just took his arm and waited for him.

"I... I just didn't react a little bit."

After a long time, Zhou Yu opened his mouth, feeling that his vision had recovered, and raised his eyes to look directly at Jingzhou.Behind him, He Chu wanted to step forward and say something, but felt Li Qi pulling him behind him, so the words he said became: "Which class of senior is this...?"

Hearing this, Yu Jingzhou let go of Zhou Yu's arm, stretched out a hand towards Hechu, and smiled: "I am Yu Jingzhou from Class [-] and [-] of high school, I am A Yu's friend, and I am also the president of the student union. Classmates? In the future, if you have anything to do, you can come to find me upstairs anytime."

He Chu finally stepped forward and reached out to shake his hand. With an "absolutely bright" smile on his face, he said, "Hi Senior, I'm He Chu from Class Nine. You still have something to say to Zhou Yu, we Just don't bother me for now." After finishing speaking, he patted Zhou Yu's shoulder, leaned into his ear and whispered, "Then I'm leaving, remember to come back to me after class."

At this time, the sports committee member came back with the ball, Zhao Hechu and the others greeted him, He Chu didn't hesitate, turned around and lifted Li Qi's shoulder and left.Li Qi was wondering about He Chu's abnormal attitude, when he suddenly saw the smile on He Chu's face collapse, replaced by an unusually serious expression, and began a long chatter:

"Who is that Yu Jingzhou? He has such a good relationship with Zhou Yu? Damn it, I even thought my smirk just now could make me sick to death, can't he see it?"

"How did he meet Zhou Yu...have you known each other for a long time, right? Why do I think he looks so wretched?"

"He seems to have a good relationship with Zhou Yu... He just said 'A Yu' when he came up. Hey, he shouted really intimately. Who the hell is he? Can he not see me?"

"Isn't it what he meant? He clearly heard me say that he was going to take Zhou Yu to the basketball court, right? He still called my family Zhou Yu? Was he interested in Zhou Yu? Or was it intentional to rob him halfway? Hey What do you think he wants to do?"

"What do you mean by Zhou Yu's words? Did you forget anything? Do they have any secrets? That Yu Jingzhou who looks like a villain must be a good person, isn't he? What did you do to Zhou Yu?"

"Why is he so close to Zhou Yu? Is Zhou Yu also interested in him? When I hear his voice, I feel wrong, what's the relationship..."

"What the hell is the relationship between the two of them... I feel uncomfortable just looking at it..."

"Hey, why don't you talk?"

"Brother... don't you think, you look like a sparrow?"

"I... what's wrong with me?"

"Did you give me a chance to talk since you turned around? You are alone, talking non-stop in 'Zhou Yu Zhou Yu', how do you want me to talk? Why didn't I realize that you can talk so much before?" ?!"

He Chu was taken aback, let go of Li Qi, and pointed to himself, "Did I say a lot?"

Li Qi: "..." He made a "goodbye" gesture towards He Chu to express that he didn't want to deal with He Chu anymore.

He Chu hooked Li Qi's shoulder again indifferently, frowned deeply, and said in a deep voice: "But I really think that the two of them are not quite right."

"Are you bending to anyone if you don't look straight at yourself?"

Why do you feel that these two people are not right?Just because Yu Jingzhou could recognize Zhou Yu from his back, just because Yu Jingzhou called Zhou Yu's nickname when he came up, just because of Zhou Yu's tense reaction when he heard that person's voice, just because of Zhou Yu's nickname Zhou Yu's paler face when facing him was due to...he talked to Zhou Yu before he left, but Zhou Yu didn't respond the first time, he felt that there was absolutely something wrong between this person and Zhou Yu.

The two of them seem to have a deep understanding of each other, and as long as the two of them are together, it seems that they can't see others...

But... in what capacity do I speculate on the relationship between the two?Obviously the two have only known each other for a few days, and I just simply fell in love with his face, so why should I make irresponsible remarks and act like I care about him?

"Li Qi," He Chu said suddenly, his voice was no longer as brisk as before, "I think what you said before was wrong, Zhou Yu...maybe the same as me."

"Jingzhou." Zhou Yu lowered his head and twisted the hem of his clothes, suddenly he didn't dare to look up at the person in front of him.

This person's appearance is still similar to that of a few years ago, with fine features, but his facial features are a bit deeper than then.He also changed his hairstyle, and his soft bangs made him look bookish. If he added a pair of rimless glasses, he would be the same as the young masters from the Republic of China period.But looking closely, his appearance seemed to have changed a lot, only the clarity and gentleness in his eyes remained the same as before.

"You also came here to study after the exam? Why didn't you tell me before?"

His voice has become deep and magnetic after the voice-changing period, which is completely different from the pretending deep in memory at that time.

Zhou Yu finally looked up at him, and found that the person in front of him was already tall, half a head taller than Zhou Yu. At this moment, Yu Jingzhou was looking down at him slightly. It happened to be sunny. Smile - I can already recall the feeling of heartbeat back then.

Even though it has been so long, even if I only see the same smile as that time, the shyness and entanglement in my heart when I was a teenager have returned to my heart.

"We hadn't been in touch for a long time at that time. I didn't know you were here either."

Zhou Yu thought of his second year of junior high school when he realized that he had some vague thoughts about Jingzhou, but he didn't know how to hide such taboo emotions deep in his heart, and instead let Yu Jingzhou find out about Yu Jingzhou's reaction regardless of everything. ...From then on, Zhou Yu unilaterally severed contact with Yu Jingzhou.

At that time, Zhou Yu didn't dare, and he couldn't.He only felt as if he had been slapped a few times, and even his heart tightened. He was cowardly at that time, but he was extremely proud in his bones.

He stubbornly believed that everything was Yu Jingzhou's fault, and the pain of being rejected was transformed into despair like being abandoned by the ensuing anger.So he fiercely packaged himself as an indifferent big boy who didn't understand the world.

Until today, he thought that he had been indifferent enough for so long, but when he saw this person again, his shell collapsed, as if he had become the submissive boy who dared not communicate with others five years ago again.

Sometimes... when you habitually trust a person, you can't help but show him your true self when you see him.

He couldn't even describe how it felt to meet this person again.

angry?He had no reason to be angry, but the memory of being rejected at that time flooded in like a tide. He knew that his emotions had an inexplicable uncontrollable tendency, but he really couldn't control it.

Is it because the person in front of him is Yu Jingzhou?Or do you still feel that it is not your fault?

"It's my fault, I forgot to tell you at the time. Fortunately, you are now in No. [-] Middle School, and we can be together like before." Yu Jingzhou lowered his head habitually, wanting to rub Zhou Yu's cheeks He looked at Zhou Yu's hair, but found that his face was not good-looking. He watched Zhou Yu's fingers constantly twisting the hem of his clothes, slowly retracted his hand, and asked, "A Yu, what's wrong? Are you unhappy?"

"I'm not unhappy. It's too late for me to be happy..." Zhou Yu hastily denied, but afterward his voice became lower and lower, and his voice became less and less confident. The phrase "it's too late" seemed to dissipate in the air if he didn't listen carefully. .

Yu Jingzhou took his hand that was twisting the hem of his clothes, and squeezed his face with the other hand, "I think you are not very happy, why are you so nervous? Don't hide, you have been like this since you were a child, when you are nervous, you will be nervous." Twist the corner of the clothes." He felt that Zhou Yu's hands were getting colder, so he put both hands together, and asked again: "What's the matter? Are you...you still care about me? Or was it me... "

"No! I'm not unhappy, really not."

After Zhou Yu finished speaking, he suddenly realized what he had said, but he didn't know what his "no" was denying.

Not unhappy?Not nervous?Do you still care about Jingzhou?Still not... still have undue hopes for him?

For a moment, he felt that the current self was extremely strange.

Zhou Yu, who was so flustered and had an extremely humble posture.

"We haven't seen each other for so long, you... don't you have anything to say to me?"

Yu Jingzhou's hands are still as warm as when he was young. At that time, his hands brought Zhou Yu the first light. Zhou Yu was like a moth to a flame, wanting to absorb warmth, but now those hands are more warm than before. It got bigger and warmer, but Zhou Yu seemed to avoid it.

"Then you don't have it, but I miss you very much."

"!" The last four words in Yu Jingzhou's dialect were like a deep-sea bomb, which exploded into the sky in Zhou Yu's heart. He raised his head, looked stunned, and retracted his hand, fingers tightly twisted together.He bit his lower lip hard, so hard that his lips turned white.

The pain woke him up a bit.

——What happened to me?Why can't I control my emotions?Just because of the reunion of an old friend, the heart starts to move around again?

miss me?Why does he say he misses me?

"I know the way I handled it at that time...was wrong, I know you were sad and I regret what you did at that time. You haven't contacted me since then, I don't know what you did during the year I was away It’s been through, but can you stop doing this? I’m sorry, but I really couldn’t react and accept it at the time, you... can you forgive me now? Can we still be the same as before? "

"Don't, don't say it." Zhou Yu took a step back hastily, his words were blunt, and his tone was dry.

——Stop talking, don't mention the past, I don't want to hear it, I don't dare to hear it.Because of you, I'm afraid that I will return to the state I was in back then, the state where I was looked down upon by others, rejected by everyone, and even I was in a daze.

"Why... I know it's my fault, but can we..." Yu Jingzhou stepped forward to take his hand back, but Zhou Yu's reaction was even more violent:

"I told you to stop talking about this! Why do you have to bring up things that have passed for so long! Why do you have to say sorry to me again after you have rejected me!?"

Zhou Yu suddenly lost control.

He couldn't listen to this person's extra words anymore, he was afraid that if he listened any longer, he would fall into the state he was in that year uncontrollably, and then he would never be able to escape.

He used time to polish his obsession, and he never wanted to torture himself like he did back then.

"I... I'm sorry... Ah Yu, I won't mention it anymore. Let's start again. Can we start again? This time, you can do whatever you want, okay?" Yu Jingzhou seemed to be aware of Zhou Yu's intentions. The state was wrong, just like when he saw Zhou Yu for the first time, no matter what he said, Zhou Yu's reaction would be strong, he was like a little beast, he drew the ground as a prison, and his territory could not be violated by anyone.

Zhou Yu lowered his head, his fingers twisted even more, and there was a sound of friction between the joints.

After a long time, Yu Jingzhou heard him say in a blunt but mocking tone: "Start again? How do you want us to start again? Yu Jingzhou?"

"You can do whatever you want this time, no matter what kind of feelings you have for me, I will accept it, but don't do this, okay?"

— how am I?start over?How are they going to start over?After Yu Jingzhou gave him a fatal blow at that time, now let's talk about starting from the beginning, starting from the beginning...is it the same as before?

——He said to start over...Of course it is good, but this time, you are not afraid that I will still miss you, and you are not afraid that I will hurt you when I am sick, Yu Jingzhou?

--No.Not such Zhou Yu.You've let go of your perverted thoughts about him, isn't it what you've been wanting for so long to start over?He is still your Jingzhou, and you are still his Ayu.Why do you want to ask for more?Are you not satisfied?You should have been satisfied long ago, what is this now...

——But you are no longer the Zhou Yu you were at that time.

Zhou Yu shook his head and woke up instantly.

He realized his gaffe just now, realized that he had fallen into that state again and couldn't extricate himself, and realized that he was showing his true colors at that moment.

So humiliating.

I haven't seen this person for so long, but now I see him like this again.

"I... sorry I was too extreme just now."

"It's okay, I understand." Yu Jingzhou reached out and stroked his hair, with the power to travel through time and space in his voice, comforting the boy as before, reminding him of the days when they were together.

And his hands were extremely gentle, and the more powerful hand movements were gentler than before, which made him realize the reality again, they have all grown up.

His voice seemed to come from a distant place, and Zhou Yu heard him say: "Let's start from the beginning, and from now on... I will make up for this year's gap, and you will be fine too."

——You are fine too.

Zhou Yu thought about the meaning of this sentence carefully, and his heart moved.

It took him a long time to find his voice, and he spoke several times, but in the end he just said, "Okay."

OK, let's start from scratch.

Stop asking for too much.

Learn to be content.

Don't let your imagination run wild.

Don't be too humble.

Stop thinking about those things.

Actually, at that time, I didn't necessarily just like him... right?

Maybe it's just that I'm too used to having this person by my side, and I want to tightly enclose the warmth that this person gives me, and maybe I can stay by my side.It's just that I used the wrong method and expressed the wrong feelings. In fact, I don't necessarily recognize this person, right?

Thinking of this, he suddenly felt that the relationship in the second year of junior high school was not so important.

I should have figured it out a long time ago, it is not easy to grasp a little tenderness around me, why bother to ask for more?

He raised a smile towards Yu Jingzhou: "I lost my temper just now."

It's really a gaffe, otherwise I won't be at a loss, I won't be irritable for no reason, and I won't speak indiscriminately.

Like the kid back then, he was unreasonably willful towards this person.

Maybe Yu Jingzhou has always been a thorn in his heart.

Occasionally when I think about it, I will resent this person very much in my heart, resent him for pulling him in his darkest moment and then throwing himself down again, but he will defend him again, explaining that everything is his own problem, yes It's no wonder others want to break the relationship.These two attitudes are intertwined in his mind until today, that's why he can't help but feel uncomfortable when he hears this person's voice, showing the most humble gesture.

He has lived for so many years, and what he hates the most is the word "abandoned".

—and today his thorn was pulled out.So in the future, it will never be like this again.The boy from five years ago... will never be the present, or the Zhou Yu who will come someday.

That's right, I just wanted to treat him as the closest person to me, but in the end, I would make a mistake and express myself wrongly, which would cause the relationship between the two people to become rigid.

Now that I have said it, I will never think about it again in the future.

"Is it better now?" Yu Jingzhou still smiled as before, without any grievances in his heart.

Because he knows what kind of person he is to Zhou Yu, he has always known it.

It is because it is important that you want to grasp it even more, it hurts more when you lose it, and the reaction now is stronger.

"Well, I'm fine." Zhou Yu lowered his head and laughed a little self-deprecatingly.

Sure enough, she is still not mature enough, that's why today is so abnormal...

"Then I'll go back first."

He turned around, waved to Yu Jingzhou, and didn't look back.