shadow lover

The temperature of the palm passed through the surface of the skin to the inner layer. Before I was about to speak, Xiao Zhang pulled me aside and said, "Sister Fu, what do you do?" The wrist was still being squeezed hard by that hand Holding it, frowning, I heard Xiao Zhang raise his voice: "Please let go of Sister An" I didn't expect that Xiao Zhang, who used to like Sen Miao so much, would snap at him, and Sen Miao and I were both stunned by this , and then the strength of the fingers loosened a little and then completely let go.

Without opening my mouth, I tugged at the sleeve of the child in front of me, then turned around and left the place. Xiao Zhang asked me vigilantly during the work break at night: "Sister An, she came to see you again." I replied to her: "Unintentionally. just bumped into"

"Unintentionally, the first time was a coincidence, what about the second time and the third time, is it still a coincidence, she did it on purpose."

"maybe"

"No maybe, Kenben is."

"You can see clearly, well, work."

I don't want to think about things about Sen Miao. Those killed brain cells should be buried forever. I have fulfilled my promise to her, and I can't do anything else, right?

After working hard for a month, fortunately, the salary has increased a lot. When the money arrives, Xiao Zhang jumps happily. She said that this is the most she has earned since she worked. I looked at her and smiled and said that as long as you work hard, you will What's more, Xiao Zhang happily said that he would invite me to dinner that night, and warned me not to pay the bill in advance.

Xiaozhang ordered a lot of kebabs at the roadside skewer stand. I asked her if you could finish them all. She said that if you can’t finish eating, take it home and take a big bite of the grilled enoki mushrooms. When I called the shop When the staff asked him to serve me a bowl of tomato noodles, the mobile phone on the table rang. I hesitated after looking at it for a long time and finally answered the call.

"Hey"

"Anyang, it's me, your aunt, I'll bring your uncle over for a physical examination, and I heard from Sen Miao that you got in touch, which makes us happy as an old couple. Are you busy now? When you have time, come over and let's have dinner together rice."

"I……"

"I brought you special products from my hometown. You see, I haven't seen you since we went home. Your uncle and I miss you a lot. Come over this Saturday during the day, let's talk. .”

"Auntie, I...uncle... well, good... good... well, goodbye."

After the separation, Senmiao’s first phone call was made by aunt and uncle. When I hung up the call, I lowered my head and ate a few mouthfuls of noodles. "

"You have something to do"

"Um"

"Whoever called just now couldn't be Fu Senmiao."

"It's her mother, let me go over for dinner."

"you promised"

"Um"

"Hongmen Banquet, this is a game, Fu Senmiao is really good at it, and even moved her parents out, that's enough."

"Auntie is a warm-hearted person, and uncle is also sensible. He said he came to check his body and left after staying for a few days. He just heard that he was in touch with me again, so he wanted me to come over and talk."

"You believe"

"Eat, go home after eating."

I don't dare to believe it or not. Sen Miao is not the kind of person who would trouble her parents when things happen. Maybe it's just that the aunt asked me why she saw something wrong. It's always a bad face.

Before going to Sen Miao’s house on Saturday morning, I went to the supermarket to buy some supplements. I saw that the jujubes sold loosely were good, so I bought a few catties and carried them together. The mood is always a bit awkward. I went upstairs and raised my hand to ring the doorbell. Soon the door was pushed open by the people inside. I stood awkwardly at the door, wondering if it was okay.

"Come in, I'll get you slippers." It was Sen Miao who came to open the door. She let me in and put a pair of slippers by my feet, then reached out to take what was in my hand.

"Look at Auntie calling you to have a light meal. Why do you buy so many things?"

"Hello, auntie, hello uncle, it's nothing, I bought it at the supermarket as I passed by."

"Come in, sit down and drink water."

"Hey, don't be too busy, I won't eat or be thirsty, you two sit down."

"I just want to see you as a child, which is more pleasing to the eye than seeing my family's Sen Miao. Come here, this is the canned food that my aunt boiled in the morning. You can try it."

"Ugh"

"how's the work going recently"

"same as usual"

"Is there... is there anyone around?"

"…No…"

"Haha, no good, good, come and eat canned food."

"Auntie, don't be so polite, I... I'm sorry."

"What's the matter with embarrassment, I have already regarded you as my own daughter, why are my family being polite, don't you think so?"

To be honest, I was a little nervous and a little scared, so that I started sweating not long after I sat down. The bowl in my hand contained the Sydney apples cooked by my aunt. Feel like a zombie.

"Anyang, you and Sen Miao go into the house to talk, and I will cook outside with your uncle."

"I..." Before I could react, I was pushed into Sen Miao's room by my aunt, and then the bedroom door was closed by someone outside. Standing at the door of the bedroom with sweat on my forehead, I felt my legs begin to weaken, and my brain felt weak. The momentary hypoxia is accompanied by periodic tinnitus. "My mother, don't worry about it." After a while, Sen Miao said, she stood by the window and looked back at me, then walked towards me, when her hand touched the back of my hand, I felt like I was stepping on It popped open like a spring.

"You... the past is all my fault, I apologize, I regret it, I was very hard and painful during that time, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't be able to come out and face myself and face life again, I can't deny that At that time, I was selfish, and it was unfair to you. I always wanted to tell you some things, but I didn’t know what kind of coincidence should I say. Your mobile phone number, your chat dialog box, I always want to press Go on, but I am worried, I am worried that even the last trace of your thoughts about me will disappear after I press it. Anyang, do you know how ecstatic I was when I knew you were still alone, I know you are kind and kind .”

Sen Miao said a lot of words, but I couldn't hear the rest clearly. My brain was hurting, and my clenched fists made clenched noises because of the hard joints. The boiling blood rushed straight to the top of my head. Turn over the slightest pain.I have been struggling to feel this way before, the rhythm of death.

The door opened and the auntie came to ask us if we were done chatting and came out to eat. When I got up from the bed, I felt dizzy and dizzy. After taking a deep breath, I went to sit down at the dining table in the living room, and stared blankly at the delicious food on the table. I have no desire to eat the dishes, so I took a deep breath and put the dishes that my aunt put in my bowl into my mouth, chewing like wax.

"Anyang, you look thinner than when we left, come and eat more."

"Anyang, your uncle, thanks to you taking care of him at that time, he was able to be so agile, otherwise, I don't know how much he would have suffered."

"Anyang..."

"Auntie, I'm full, don't pinch me, I can't eat."

"You just took a few mouthfuls and stopped eating. Are you being polite to Auntie? Look at your child."

"No, I really can't eat anymore. I'm leaving first, so I won't clean up for you."

I couldn't sit still, so I got up and fled in a panic, ran downstairs and ran out of the community, spread my arms and ran out of two intersections, the afternoon sun was scorching hot, I bent over and supported my knees, gasping for breath, sweat dripping from the tip of my nose fall down.It took a long time to catch my breath. There were various drinks in the refrigerator of the small supermarket on the roadside. I went in and took a bottle of room temperature and drank it while walking.

Walked into the small park, found an empty seat and sat down, pressed her head with her hands over and over again. Sen Miao said that at that time, she only thought about how to let go of Sister Ke. In that case, her mind was not with me, the time was wrong, so the love was wrong. taste.It sounds like I was wrong. I fell in love with Sister Ke when she didn’t forget her. I asked her when she couldn’t give. I turned around and left when she didn’t recover. .I made a mistake of being obsessed with her after I met her again, and I didn’t even listen to her explanation. I made a mistake of pushing away the emotion she wanted to give and refusing the intimacy she wanted to give now. I made a mistake of giving up on her who now shifted her mind to me.

Haha, is it wrong, it is wrong, it is my wishful thinking, it is my lack of vision, it is my whimsy, it is my fault, it is my fault.I remember Sister Ke said this sentence to me, she said how desolate, helpless and sad it is when she loves to the point of being powerless and loves to hate herself, I always know the sentence she asked me, will it still hurt? meaning.

Because I cared, my heart ached, and I couldn't live or die.