A different kind of Lou Chun - "The Pretender" colleague

I knew from the first time I saw Ah Chun that I was hopeless, but I still fell in love with her hopelessly.

I have never seen such a beautiful and yet so sad girl.She reminds me of the cherry blossom petals falling all over the place in April in my hometown.I came too late, and I didn't have the opportunity to appreciate her flourishing beauty when she was in full bloom. I only had time to hold her in my hand before she withered and fell to the ground, and cared for her carefully.

We met under the introduction of the head of the CCP/CCP/No. 7.Because she is proficient in Japanese and familiar with Japanese culture, we hit it off right away.Her job is to become a bridge connecting China/Communist Party/Japanese Communist Party, so that we can spend time together day and night.

After working together, I discovered that although she looks delicate and immature on the outside, she is actually soft on the outside and strong on the inside.Able to do things neatly and thoughtfully, memory, insight and analysis are all superior talents.Both the leaders of the Soviet area and the working group of the Communist International appreciated her and attached great importance to her.

But I can always feel her inexplicable sadness.The girl in the Mood for Love had deep melancholy in the corners of her eyes and brows, and a melancholy and poignant beauty, heavy and desolate, exuded from all over her body.

She would often close her eyes and take a deep breath of the aroma before picking up a new cup of tea, but when she opened her eyes again, there were tears in her eyes.

On a night with a good moon, she would go to the hillside and stare at it for a long time, not knowing who she would eat alone.

I know that there must be a healed scar in her heart, which must have been given by a man.

Before she left the Soviet area, I went to see her off.

The night was too gentle that night.

We've come a long, long way.

I felt sad and told her many, many things.Tell her my hometown, my childhood, my growth.

She listened quietly, but said little.She never mentioned anything about herself.

She just thanked me for my care and protection.

Because she came to Ruijin secretly to accept the mission, she had short hair and rough clothes at that time, and she didn't wear makeup, but she still couldn't conceal her beauty like a lotus.Although it was only a short period of one month and they were extremely careful, they still caused quite a stir in the Soviet area.As a work partner, I had no choice but to stand up and try my best to fend off all kinds of vagabonds who stalked her like crazy bees and butterflies.

I said, it is my honor to be her flower protector.

"You remind me of an old playmate of mine who used to love to do it in school."

Perhaps this farewell night brought back her memories, and she finally told me about her past.The expression is Yiyi, full of nostalgia.

"Once he couldn't help but started a fight, and almost got hit by his elder brother. I pleaded desperately, but I still knelt all night. I am so wronged, and I will be punished by him for helping him."

My heart moved, what does it mean to be punished by him for helping him?

"That's my best friend, growing up together."

She raised her head to look at the moon, her eyes were lost: "I haven't seen you for almost two years, and I don't know if it's okay now."

I asked, "Where is he?"

"France, with his elder brother."

She mentioned this "big brother" twice in a row.

She must not have realized that when she talked about this man, her expressions and voices were different.So deep, filled with sorrowful tenderness.

"His elder brother and you..." I understood.

She glanced at me, the pain overflowed, and she stopped talking.

"You guys, what happened?" I suddenly had the urge to ask the bottom line.

"Actually, it's nothing. I'm a child of the enemy's family, and his elder sister objected."

She said simply, twitching the corners of her lips slightly: "Now I sound like a novel."

I couldn't help but sigh: "So you broke up?"

"He comforted me at the time, saying that he would go to work as a big sister. He told me not to worry and wait for him at school."

She took a deep breath and tried her best to keep her voice steady: "So I waited, waited, waited... until his little brother came to tell me that he had already left the country."

I gritted my teeth: "He didn't give you any explanation afterwards?"

"After he left for more than half a year, a letter came. Greetings like a friend, but never mentioning everything in the past. We have been communicating with each other, telling each other about the current situation, as plain as water."

"That's it?" I couldn't understand: "Why didn't you ask clearly? It ended so vaguely?"

"Ask what? He doesn't mention it anymore, but he doesn't want to. Why should I press him?"

She smiled wryly: "We are all too proud and know each other too well. There are many things that don't need to be explained very clearly."

"But even so, you are still waiting." I felt depressed, unable to tell what it was like.

She bowed her head and said nothing, and neither did I.

We walked in silence for a while, and I suddenly blurted out:

"I think, if you don't ask, it's not only because you are proud, but also because you don't want to hear the answer he gave you. As long as he doesn't tell you, you can wait like this forever, can't you?"

She looked up at me with a touch of emotion in her expression.

"It's useless to be straight and lovesick, but it's okay to be melancholy."

She read this ancient Chinese poem for the first time that night, which was completely incomprehensible with my Chinese level.She thought about it, and explained simply in Japanese:

"I'm not waiting, I'm watching."

It has been more than a year since I saw Ah Chun again.

Under the arrangement of the organization, I got the opportunity to go to the Kobe Secret Service School for training as I wished, and work with Ah Chun again.

During the one-month vacation before the training, I only stayed home for a week before rushing to Kobe.First contact the new superior Mr. Akita to hand over the task, and then can't wait to see Ah Chun.

I found Ah Chun in the training room. She was practicing fighting with a group of male students who were several times stronger than her.

Achun was even more gloomy, thinner and haggard than when he was in Ruijin.

Surrounded by them, her bundled hair was messy, her head was covered with sweat, and blood was dripping from her palms and mouth.When she knocked down one of them, the others rushed up and slapped them on the ground, and as soon as they stopped, she would get up and knock down another one.Then he was overturned, beaten severely, climbed up again, and attacked.Going back and forth like this, she was almost exhausted, but she stubbornly refused to give up.

The two instructors watched from the sidelines, counting the number of people she defeated and how long she lasted.

I was horrified to see it.

Seeing her struggling to get up again, she attacked again.Her strength can't be compared with that of a strong man, but she can pinpoint the weak point every time, and her shots are ruthless and fast.Another person was knocked down by her, and she herself was besieged and slapped again.

The man who didn't want to be knocked down by her got up and became furious, and kicked her straight at her.Furious, I rushed to the ground and punched him in the face, shouting angrily, "Bastard!"

Ah Chun curled up on the ground, coughing and spitting out a mouthful of blood.

I was terrified, picked up Ah Chun and ran outside.The two instructors also followed, and together we sent her to the infirmary.

Fortunately, the injury was not serious, and the doctor put her in bed to recuperate.

That night I sneaked into the ward to see her. She had a high fever and held my hand in a daze, yelling in Chinese:

Senior Brother, Senior Brother, Senior Brother!

I had no choice but to respond to her in Chinese: I am here, I am here.

I don't mean to cheat her.I hope she can really think of me as him, then she can be happy, if only for a moment.

I never knew what lovesickness was until that moment.

Her appearance is so distressing.

I don't know what kind of person can make her worry so much and suffer so much.

But Ah Chun only lay in bed for a day, and struggled to go to training after the fever subsided.

The instructor forbade her to practice fighting again before she recovered.Then shoot, she said.

She spends almost all of her time in the shooting room, like crazy.

I didn't think it was right, so I asked the classmates around her what happened.And those students just curled their lips and said: "She is a beautiful machine."

Because of our special identities, we cannot show acquaintance or intimacy, and I dare not approach her on weekdays to comfort her, so I have to wait patiently until the next time I organize a branch.

After talking about work that day, I finally got a chance to be alone with her.

I didn't dare to ask the reason directly, I just advised her not to wear down her body due to over-training.

She has been drinking in silence.After a long time, a faint sentence came out: "He is now in Shanghai."

I was taken aback.

For the first time, she looked at me like a helpless child: "His younger brother keeps writing to me, asking me to go back and see him."

I asked, "What about him?"

"He wrote to tell me the itinerary very early." When she talked about him, the expression and tone of her voice were so gentle: "You don't know him well, so naturally he wouldn't send reminders letter after letter like his little brother, he even They didn’t say anything clearly. You must have wanted to see the itinerary listed in such detail in Credible.”

She paused and gritted her teeth: "But what is this place? What are we doing? Can I come back after I leave?"

I don't know what to say.

"Besides, why should I go back?"

She downed a whole glass of wine suddenly, her voice hardened: "He left without a word back then, why did I rush back when he came back? What am I? Come and go Is it that I am so humble?"

She slammed the wine glass back on the table: "I don't want to go back! I don't want to see him!"

She filled herself with another glass of wine and drank it all in one gulp.

"I'm a soldier. I've been ordered to hide for a long time. I must stick to my position. Never retreat, never leave!"

"I'm leaving, what about your connection with the CCP? Who can take over my job? I have put so much effort into Nantian, a special high school, and it must not be in vain."

She drank continuously, and her eyes became more and more blurred, finally revealing her fragility and softness.

"The little guy is really stubborn. I wrote so many letters and ignored them. Why don't you give up?"

"That child has been close to me since he was a child. I will never forget that he told me so seriously that he must want me to be his sister-in-law."

"But I've given up, I've given up. I don't want to be thrown away like a thing!"

"One time is enough. I have exhausted all the feelings and courage in this life. I have given up, don't write to force me anymore, okay?"

"I'm like this now. He shouldn't know me when he sees me, right? My hands are stained with blood, my head is full of murderous intent, and I'm no longer clean and pure. If he asks me why I took refuge in the Japanese, I can't tell. I can't even say! It's best not to see, I'd rather he thinks that I will always be the same as before. Not the best, not the best."

"I just regret that I didn't hold him longer that day. If I knew it was the last time I saw him, I would have held him longer."

"You know what? We didn't say goodbye. I thought we'd always be together. I thought nothing could separate us."

"But I can't even remember now, the smell in his arms, the warm smell of his scarf rubbing against my face. The way he smiled and looked at me is so blurry. If I knew I would never see it again, I must have it again that day. Hold him longer."

She lost control for the first time under the influence of alcohol that day and was completely incoherent.She didn't know how much she wanted to go back to see him in her heart, she suppressed herself so much that she was going crazy.I finally understood that such masochistic training was the only way for her to release her emotions.That was also the first time I saw her weak and weeping.The tears on her face condensed into the engraving in my heart, which is still clear to this day.

I silently accompanied her through the remaining two years of her stay in Japan.

During that period, she made a boyfriend at the request of the Chinese and Japanese party organizations.Yamamoto, who is one year older than her, is the son of a major general of the Army Staff Headquarters and the proud subordinate of Neiji Okamura.

I should say I'm glad he died in a bombing at the beginning of the war with China, although our organization regrets that he failed to continue his intelligence value.

But then I realized there was no point in being happy.One dies, and there is another.

Ah Chun has constant tasks, including making boyfriends.

She doesn't care.Except for that person, everyone in this world is the same.

She became more and more ruthless.Her beauty and her sadness have become weapons against the enemy.

The real her was hidden under layers of camouflage, buried deeper and deeper, gradually becoming untouchable.

I watched helplessly as a wounded, bleeding painstaking effort ran out of tears, numb and withered, powerless.

Once I looked at a photo of her and her so-called boyfriend and couldn't help asking: "That person, do you have a photo of him?"

She was a little surprised that I asked this out of the blue.

I said I'd love to see what kind of person that was.

She looked at me in a strange way, and I think she finally discovered my carefully hidden feelings at that time.

"There used to be. Besides photos, there are many things, a box full."

She stretched out her hands to compare, feeling infinite nostalgia and regret: "But since you have gone this way, how dare you stay?"

"Buried. Before coming to Japan, it was buried with my heart."

"Kitano-kun, I'm a heartless person, don't waste your feelings and time on me."

She spoke frankly to me that day, mercilessly cutting off all my fantasies and fantasies.

Actually I knew she wasn't telling the whole truth because she kept an empty perfume bottle.When taking off the disguise, she always likes to hold it in her hand and keep touching it, the eyes are full of hopeless tenderness.

When I asked her, she just said lightly that she liked its fragrance, and she couldn't find a similar fragrance in Japan.

Until I returned to China as an invader, one day I passed by a dazzling array of counters in a shopping mall and saw the exact same perfume, I bought it without hesitation.

I finally saw the three words printed on the exquisite package: Mingjiaxiang.

So when the headlines of the major newspapers published the news that the eldest son of the Ming family returned to Shanghai from abroad to take charge of the economic department, I immediately understood what happened.

I couldn't wait to make an appointment with her and show her the newspaper in my hand.

She didn't respond to anything but silence.

I couldn't help snorting: "I betrayed love back then, but now I betray my motherland."

"Kitano-kun," she suddenly changed color, her eyes blazing with anger, "Please don't say such things again!"

I am stunned.

Since I came to Shanghai to see her again after the war, I have not felt human emotions in her.She had always been sad and depressed, but no matter how depressed she was, she was still a living creature.Now, there is no trace of warmth in her eyes anymore.She said she had no emotions and was just a weapon.

I don't know what happened after she returned to China, I only know that her whole body has turned into a cold warrior/sword/sword.Apart from her cold murderous aura, I can no longer feel any human emotional fluctuations from her.

until now.

A word for me, she was furious.

Maybe she felt that she was overreacting, but her tone softened a little, but she was absolutely firm: "He is definitely not that kind of person."

I couldn't calm down: "He is now the celebrity next to Wang Jingwei and Zhou Fohai."

"So what?" She raised her eyebrows and asked back, "Am I the celebrity of Super High School and No. 76?"

A flash of inspiration flashed in my mind: "You mean..."

"I don't know." She interrupted me immediately.

"I only know that he is definitely not a person who betrayed the country. Please remember: if you let me hear such comments in the future, you will not be my friend."

My heart hurts, and I have nothing to say.

Although Ah Chun was still cold on the surface, I knew from then on that she was different.

Her eyes were obviously a little more bright and messy, and they were no longer blindly silent as death.

She said that she was not waiting, but watching.

So after so many years, that person never left.

This year, the Japanese garrison celebrated the Epoch Day party, and Ah Chun actually excused his illness to avoid it.

Ah Chun has always been a hot figure at this kind of gathering, and there are too many military officers and dignitaries who invite her to accompany her.And even if there is no specific task, she will definitely be there on this occasion, no matter how much she hates it in her heart.She has said that this is an agent's best opportunity to gather information.Many seemingly useless information that is inadvertently obtained often proves to be of great value in the future.

And I have been reluctant to let her get involved in such activities.Even though I know that she will calmly deal with all kinds of people and will not be at a disadvantage, I still can't bear to see her pretend to be happy and socialize against her will.So when she told me she wasn't going this time, I was surprised but relieved.

My task this time is to get close to Mr. Fujita and Section Chief Nantian of the extra-high school, and strive to be transferred to the extra-high course so as to better assist Ah Chun in his work.

There was a sudden noise at the door.I heard the words "Mr. Minglou" from a distance, and my heart was shocked, so I immediately turned to look.

It wasn't until I actually met him that I finally understood why Ah Chun would miss him so much.Whoever meets such a person in their life may not be able to escape.

Yes, I have seen his picture in the newspaper.I know that the children of his aristocratic family are dressed in fresh clothes and angry horses. They are handsome and educated.

But in the photo, he can't see the full masculinity in his gestures, the general's demeanor in his chest, and his overwhelming demeanor.

His arrival immediately attracted a crowd to surround him.

Some people are probably born to be looked up to by all.

I think of Ah Chun's description - a person who has been in the dark for too long is suddenly dazzled by a ray of sunlight.

His light was indeed so dazzling that it was hard to look directly at it.

I didn't go over, just silently watched him chatting and laughing in the crowd with ease.

Although Ah Chun has kept it secret, I already have guesses about his identity.

If it wasn't for his own people, the strange light in Ah Chun's eyes wouldn't become more and more intense, and sometimes he couldn't even conceal his admiration.

I know that every major operation in recent months has been successful.

Strategize and win a thousand miles.Only such a proud son of heaven is worthy of Ah Chun.

During the song and dance performance, there was an old Japanese love song.It tells the story of a woman who is waiting for her lover to leave. She looks at the sea every day and misses her bitterly.The melody is lingering and sad, desolate and sad.

I didn't know he knew Japanese, but when I saw that he stopped talking and laughing, his expression suddenly became sad.Obviously moved by the singing, he listened intently and thoughtfully.

At the end of the song, there was applause, and the complex emotions in his deep eyes quickly disappeared.

"Miss Huizi's singing voice, Mr. Ming can still hear it?" asked Yoshino Dazuo who was opposite.

"It's like hearing the sounds of nature." He took a sip of the red wine and replied with a smile.

General Nakamura beside him shook his head and said: "Miss Huizi's voice is beautiful, but she didn't express the artistic conception. It still can't compare with Miss Chun's song of the year!"

Everyone in the seat nodded.

I took a deep breath secretly, and only now did I understand the real reason why Ah Chun refused to come.

He was slightly startled: "Miss Chun?"

"It's Miss Wang from your Secret Service Headquarters." Mr. Kawashima explained: "When Miss Wang was training in Kobe, she once posed as a geisha at a party and sang the same song."

"The so-called party is actually a test. The students show their abilities, confuse each other and wait for an opportunity to attack, until the last person is the winner."

General Nakamura looked fascinated: "Miss Wanchun has kimono hair and heavy makeup. Playing the zither and singing this song by herself, it amazes everyone, and she is so talented!"

Chuan Dao continued: "She sang this song with deep affection and sadness. After the song, the whole room sighed, and she shed tears too. Who knew that her tears were still there, and a hairpin had already been shot. I was still immersed in her singing and didn't come back to my senses, so I ordered all the students present in an instant."

"It's a pity that I didn't have the chance to see such a wonderful scene."

He showed regret, and only I could feel the pain and love in his eyes.

Colonel Yoshino nodded: "The few of us were fortunate to be present as examiners, and we were able to see Miss Wang's peerless beauty, which is still unforgettable."

Kawashima was already a little drunk, raised his glass and shouted: "Come, come, let's toast to our Shanghai Spring!"

"cheers!"

While drinking and drinking, his eyes suddenly shot straight.Across the crowd, our eyes met.

After only looking at each other for a moment, he then withdrew his gaze and continued to socialize with the senior officials around him.

Of course, my heart shook.

Between two people who love the same person, there will probably be some feelings.

It turns out that they have always been in love.

I finally understand a fact:

They were just separated for eight years and they never ended.

The banquet was another scene of harmony and joy.He calmly mingled among these imperial soldiers and politicians, talking freely, with an impeccable expression as usual.It seems that what I just talked about is just the romantic past of an irrelevant person.

He wouldn't know that after the assessment that day, Ah Chun took me to the beach for a drink, weeping silently.

She told me that was the day he set off for Paris.She missed the last chance to go back to Shanghai to meet him.

We drank a lot of sake that night.In the end, she couldn't control it anymore, she just kept crying and repeated the same sentence: "I can't see him anymore! I can't see him anymore! I can't see him anymore!"

I had no way to comfort her, so I could only hold her trembling body in my arms and let her cry to my heart's content.

We sat by the sea overnight.

When the sun rose the next day, Ah Chun stood up and threw the empty wine bottle into the sea, and chanted the sentence again against the wind:

"It's useless to be straight and lovesick, but it's okay to be melancholy."

As the winner of their period, Achun won the honor of visiting the Japanese military headquarters in Tokyo.That night, the Chief of Military Affairs of the Army Province had a heart attack and died suddenly in the mansion.

That was Achun's outstanding contribution on behalf of the CCP/CCP/cooperating with us in trying to stop the expansion of militarism and fascist forces in Japan.

In our system, Ah Chun has been using a pseudonym: Miyue.

Ah Chun has been struggling in the dark for too long.

He is her sunshine, no one can replace him.

He would hurt her and make her cry, but without sunlight, Ah Chun would wither.

I am relieved that this sunshine has finally returned to her world.

I pray that they will stand side by side and light each other's perilous paths from now on.

And I am willing to be that silent guardian.

I hope you are safe and have nothing else to ask for.

Part [-]: For Whom the Bell Tolls?