love of life

The familiar voice made Lin Zexi's body tremble. He lowered his head and looked into the car window to take a closer look at the person sitting in the car. It turned out to be Gu Ming.

"Gu Ming, why are you here?" Lin Zexi asked in surprise.

Gu Ming unfastened his seat belt, leaned over and opened the car door for him and said, "Why don't you hurry in, don't you think the sun isn't big enough?"

Lin Zexi hesitated for two seconds, and finally got into the car.Gu Ming closed the car windows, turned on the air conditioner to the maximum, pulled a few tissues from the paper drawer on the center console and handed them to him, "Your sweat is all over your head, wipe it off quickly."

Lin Zexi took the tissue and wiped off his sweat absently, Gu Ming started the car and drove towards the city. "Gu Ming, you haven't told me why you are here? You won't be brought in for questioning, will you?"

"What are you thinking? I have nothing to do with Xu Zhengwen, why did the Discipline Inspection Commission ask me for questioning?"

"Then why are you here?" Lin Zexi asked relentlessly.

"I happened to be passing by."

"Coincidentally? How did you pass by here?"

"Can't I come to the ecological park when the weather is fine?"

"Oh." Lin Zexi responded.There was silence in the carriage for a while, and he continued, "Just drop me in the urban area on the way, and I'll go back by myself."

"Where are you going?"

"Over Changgang Road, didn't I just say that?"

"Then I also said that this car only goes to Muyun Community and doesn't stop on the way." Gu Ming said a little displeased.

"Oh, that's fine too. It's convenient for me to go there by car." Just as Lin Zexi finished speaking, he heard the car door click and was locked by Gu Ming.

Half an hour later, the car drove into the parking lot of the community.As soon as Gu Ming stopped, Lin Zexi reached out to pull the car door, but he couldn't open it.He turned his head and glanced at Gu Ming with doubts in his eyes.

"Go to my place first." Gu Ming said as he unbuckled his seat belt.

"It still doesn't work. I've been away for so long, so I need to go back and tidy up, lest the landlord think I'm not renting the house and rent it to someone else." Lin Zexi said slowly.

"There are still two sets of your clothes in the closet." Gu Ming said.

"That, strictly speaking, is not mine. You paid for it. You told me to treat it as work clothes. If you resign, the work clothes should be kept." Lin Zexi couldn't see any expression on his face.

Gu Ming was completely irritated by his refusal. "Lin Zexi, do you have to be so unfeeling when you speak? I have worked so hard to find out your whereabouts. I waited to pick you up, and you just treated me like this? Do you still have a conscience?"

"I... Didn't we all agree before? I will give you a month to find someone to replace me, and now the time limit is up, I should go."

"You have been clamoring to leave since you came back from Dali. Why? Because of your past? I already know about it, and I don't mind. What else do you want?" Gu Ming's voice became louder unconsciously.

"I didn't think about it, I just wanted to resign. I'm just a housekeeper, didn't I sell myself? I've notified you a month in advance." Lin Zexi's still expressionless face made Gu Ming even more annoyed.

"There must be a reason for resignation, right? You say it, can't we discuss the solution?" Gu Ming insisted.

"I... just don't want to be a housekeeper anymore." When Lin Zexi said the next few words, his expressionless face looked even more lonely.

"Then don't be a housekeeper, can't you be a housekeeper? Otherwise, roommates are also fine."

"Isn't a housekeeper just a housekeeper? It's just a different name. As for roommates, I don't have the money to rent such a nice house."

"I don't charge your rent, and I don't want you to clean up. You just need to cook with me when you usually cook. If you don't want to do it, you don't have to." Gu Ming continued to retreat.

"Gu Ming, why are you bothering?" Lin Zexi's words hit Gu Ming's heart deeply.Why bother?Yes, what is he doing?He humbly tried his best to make him stay, offered countless options, and made countless concessions. Why is this?

Gu Ming was silent all of a sudden, his mind went blank, and he couldn't find any words to answer.Seeing his stunned look, Lin Zexi reached out and pressed the lock on the car key, opened the car door and left.Gu Ming looked at the back of him leaving through the car window, and suddenly felt an inexplicable reluctance in his heart, as if turning around just now was the farewell of this life.Before he had time to think, he jumped out of the car and chased after him, grabbing his arm.

Lin Zexi stopped, didn't turn his head, and didn't speak, the two of them just stood in a stalemate in the underground parking lot.Gu Ming didn't know what he wanted to say, he didn't know what he wanted to do, he just didn't want to let go.Half a minute of silence seemed as long as an hour. Lin Zexi stretched out his other hand and tried to push his hand away, but he squeezed it even tighter.

"You hurt me." Lin Zexi finally spoke, his voice was a little unsteady.

Gu Ming came back to his senses, let go of the strength in his hand, and dragged him towards the elevator.

"Gu Ming, let go." Lin Zexi tried to break free from his restraint, but he was not as strong as him. In addition to the high mental tension these days, his body was already overtired, and he felt dizzy when he moved more.

Gu Ming pulled Lin Zexi into the elevator before letting go. "Lin Zexi, let's talk."

The elevator door opened, Gu Ming pushed him behind him, pushed the door all the way and locked it behind him, and then went back to the room to change clothes in peace.He looked at the familiar furnishings in front of him, as if he had just left to go to the supermarket.Seeing that his slippers were still neatly placed in the entrance, there was a thin layer of dust on them.He bent down to change the shoes on his feet, walked into the kitchen habitually, and gently wiped the cabinets with his hands. The stove and sink were cleaned, but some dust still accumulated in the inconspicuous corners of the shelves .

"Come and sit, I'll get you something to drink." Gu Ming's voice came from behind, he turned back and walked into the living room, sat on the sofa, and watched Gu Ming take out two cans of Coke from the refrigerator.

"Drink less of these, it's not good for your health." Lin Zexi couldn't help but said.

Gu Ming looked at the Coke in his hand and said: "There is no fruit at home, so we can't make juice. Let's make do with it. You must be tired these days. If you are sleepy, go back to your room and sleep for a while."

He reached out to take the Coke that Gu Ming handed over and put it on the coffee table, "Gu Ming, what exactly do you want?"

"I want you to stay, we are just like the old days."

"Gu Ming, don't you understand? We can no longer be like the past. Time is a one-way street. We can only move forward." His tone was a little cold and blunt, but his attitude was decisive , Said every word very hard.

"Why not? What's the difference? It's only been a month. If you're worried about Xu Zhengwen, he's already been shuanggui and won't affect your life anymore. I know about your past. You don't have to." If you hide and hide again, all the problems will be gone, even easier and smoother than in the past, why can't you live a stable life like before?" Gu Ming's emotions can't help but spread, he worked hard Restraint, but the voice still fluctuates.

"Because the people are different, the heart is different, and the relationship is also different."

"What's different? Tell me!"

"I'm gay, have you forgotten? How are you going to face this issue? Let me disguise my sexuality?"

Gu Ming finally couldn't hold back his inner emotions, jumped up from the sofa, and said loudly: "I have already said that I don't mind, what do you want from me? What's wrong with homosexuality? You won't talk to me in front of me. Other men go to bed, just ignore it, okay?"

Lin Zexi, who had always been calm and indifferent, also stood up from the sofa and stared at Gu Ming for a few seconds, his eyes made Gu Ming a little nervous. "Open the door, I'm going back."

"Where are you going back? Are you going back to the slum you were in before? You fainted from stomach pains in the middle of the night like before? Lin Zexi, what are you doing?" Gu Ming backed down step by step, but in the end he insisted on leaving, which was undoubtedly in Gu Ming's mind. Ming poured a pot of oil on Ming's suppressed anger.

"What I do is my business, you have no right to control me." Lin Zexi became inexplicably stubborn.

Gu Ming stared at the person in front of him, who was completely different from the submissive and timid Lin Zexi before him, which made him feel familiar yet unfamiliar.Which one is the real character between the previous him and the present him?

"Lin Zexi, are you so ungrateful and demolished bridges? In all fairness, how have I treated you in the past few months? Knowing that you might be taken away by the Discipline Inspection Commission for investigation, I waited for you at the gate of the Discipline Inspection Commission for three days. , you shouted to leave without even saying thank you, do you still have the heart? Even if you are a stranger, you should say a few words of politeness, right?" Gu Ming forced every word out of his mouth, trying his best to restrain his emotions.

"Thank you." Lin Zexi spat out these two words lightly.The latter was stunned for a moment. What he said just now was just an excuse to vent. What he wanted was not the word thank you.Gu Ming was thinking about how to break the deadlock, but was completely broken by Lin Zexi's next words. "Is that enough? Or do you want something else? My body? You have desires for me, right? You would sneak a look at me when I was busy in the kitchen, and happened to come out to pour water when I was done showering." , the possessiveness shown when Xu Zhe was pestering me. Gu Ming, you want me, but you don't want to admit it, you are afraid to accept the fact that you want me."

"Lin Zexi, why do you have to make others say you are so miserable! What? This is your usual way of repaying your gratitude? Selling your body?" Lin Zexi's words completely angered Gu Ming, and he began to fight back bitterly.

"Huh? It's a pity that I don't have so much kindness to repay." Lin Zexi said as he unbuttoned his shirt, took the clothes down to his waist, and turned his back to Gu Ming and said, "Did you see the injuries on the back? These injuries It's not kindness, it's hatred. When those people trampled on my body, I didn't get any benefits at all. If there was such a good thing as selling my body, I would have made a fortune long ago. Why would I come to be your servant? people."

Gu Ming saw that the skinny back in front of him was densely covered with messy scars, either deep or shallow, and there was hardly a smooth piece of skin to be found.Although this was not the first time he had seen these scars, coupled with his sad words, his heart couldn't help but tighten.His throat was suddenly blocked, and his head was blank. Only the scars in front of him made him feel oppressed. Involuntarily, he stepped forward and pulled up his faded shirt and put it on his shoulders. On his shoulders, he looked a little helpless.

Lin Zexi stretched out his hands to pull the skirt of his clothes, and stepped forward to leave. Gu Ming behind him stretched out his hands, grabbed his shoulders into his arms and hugged him tightly, resting his chin on top of his head.A beam of light came in from the window and shone obliquely on the background wall of the TV. Dust particles floating in the air danced in the beam.On this hot summer afternoon, it was quiet and restless.