[Gone with the Wind] Back to the beginning

"There's a boy over there in New Orleans, little boy, and I'm his guardian."

When Rhett said these words, Scarlett knew that she should get angry and express her dissatisfaction.But somehow, perhaps because she knew him too well to sense something, the way Rhett said it prevented her from uttering any malicious words.He looked quiet, slightly tired and sad, not Rhett at all, and Scarlett didn't want him to be that way.

In the end, she also chose a gentle questioning method: "I guess, isn't that your son?"

"Of course not." Rhett smiled softly, his eyebrows stretched a little, obviously feeling Scarlett's thoughtfulness.But he immediately said quietly: "But I will raise that child until he grows up, and I have a responsibility to him."

Scarlett frowned.She raised a hand, wet lips were printed on the palm, and her green eyes were wide open.She had some displeasure, but it didn't flare up - Rhett could get almost all he wanted to know from her face, and he laughed softly, and then said:

"Want to hear about my past, Scarlett."

Just by intuition, Scarlett could know that what Rhett was going to share with her was a very secret past, which she wanted to find out with all her heart, but the sadness that Rhett showed just now made her hesitate for a moment.She reached out and covered the back of his hand.

Rhett was silent for another moment, and then he spoke, in a hoarse and deeper voice than usual:

"There are many versions of the story about me leaving the family, and you must have heard a lot. But those are not really important, at least not to me at the time, and for a long time after that. At that time I, young, brave, don't give a damn. I know I'm throwing away the rotten southern institutions that bind me, they don't fit the spirit in me. There's always something that drives us apart, one or the other , I don't care. I just know that we abandoned each other both ways, and we can never co-exist."

"So when that happened I didn't care. It was when I was 20 and my family - especially my father - was already very displeased with me. I don't want to talk about him, but he was a straight man. He thought I should go back to the right path, be as humble and respectful as my brother, and marry a woman from a famous family. I hated his control over me so much, I did all kinds of outrageous things to protest. One day, our family was in I was a guest at another manor, and their conversation disturbed me. It was three or four o'clock in the afternoon, and the sun was about to set. Because I couldn't bear the atmosphere in the living room, I impulsively invited the lady of that house to go for a drive with me. Actually I didn't like her at all at the time—maybe my evaluation of her will not change much now, a girl with an empty head. I invited her just to provoke my father, and she agreed with a little bit of coddling. Maybe She likes me, who knows!"

"As the sun was setting we set off in the buggy, just the two of us, and I drove. I made the girl giggle with my practiced witticisms along the way. We were going to go for a walk in the woods. Circle, everything went well at first. I guessed that we would be late back to the manor, half an hour behind the established social etiquette, and I took it as a provocation. But an accident happened, and the carriage was damaged. I Let her sit in the car, go down and try to fix it by herself, but after trying hard, she found that she couldn't do it. It was already dark at this time, and she was very scared, and begged me to take her back. At that time, we had to choose to walk. I I walked with her in the forest all night, and I returned to the manor at dawn. Things developed beyond my imagination, but I didn't panic too much. I think it was just an accident, and no one should worry about it. I was responsible for the accident. But when I saw the elders of almost both parties sitting in the living room waiting for us to come back, I realized that they might not think so."

"They questioned us with one voice. My father accused me of how I could take a lady out for the night. I argued and told them that the carriage was broken and I had no other way. Then her words and the carriage brought back by the servant proved my integrity. remarks, but things are far from ending so easily. My father, asked me to marry the girl, because I took her out overnight, and I have damaged her reputation. And her parents, although they did not explicitly accuse me, obviously did This means that her young and impulsive younger brother even raised his fist to threaten me, telling me that I must be responsible to his sister."

"Of course I was very amused - and very unhappy at the same time. It was just an accident, and I had to lose my marriage for an accident that happened through no fault of mine, and tied up with a woman I didn't even like ?I could have said it more tactfully, but my father's aggressive attitude irritated me, and I declared on the spot that I would rather die than marry her! Her parents looked at me in shock, as if I had said something unbelievable; My father raged and announced that he would remove me from the family. My mother begged me with tears, and her eyes broke my heart. But I was more miserable. Why didn't anyone think about me?—As if I didn't think about that Like a girl. In fact, I can still remember the reactions of my parents and her parents, but I can’t remember hers. I think she probably couldn’t believe it. Anyway, the situation was chaotic at the time, and finally Her brother came rushing - that brave young man, he said he would fight me."

"How could I be willing to fight him? I don't intend to marry the daughter of this family, and I don't intend to cause further harm. But he raised his gun and his red eyes forced me to duel... You understand, Stan Belle. In the south, when a gentleman asks for a duel with his life, the other party can't refuse, unless he throws away all his reputation and surrenders. I was a little bit annoyed by him, but I was forced to fight in the end - He wanted to kill me, really did. If I lost, I'd have to kill myself to preserve his sister's honor. I thought, why should I die, since my gun|skills are so much better than his? So I survived , survived in the eyes of the people very dishonorably—I killed the young man in a duel."

"I don't want to talk too much about the duel, you can't control that kind of thing once it starts. I'm sure I killed him not very happy, but I can't say I'm completely innocent. Anyway, it's blown up. My father thinks I should use my life to make amends to that family! Of course I disagree, we fell out in an unprecedented serious way... You already know the final outcome, he crossed out my name on the family biography "Bible" and killed me I walked out penniless. And I walked away without looking back - with my pride to pursue the freedom I wanted."

After saying these words, he paused for a moment, as if it was not easy to confide his heart at once.Scarlett had forgotten about the little boy shortly after the beginning of his narration—even though he hadn't mentioned it until now, she had been deeply attracted by Rhett's narration.She put herself in his situation, and she felt so empathetic.If it was her, she would definitely do the same.She wanted to tell Rhett this, but realized that he knew it from the very first meeting.And she didn't want to interrupt him—this kind of moment should be her own, and she can stay nearby and listen, and a sentence or two of his words are directed at her—it is already very intimate and close.She didn't want to interrupt his state, since he would have to suffer if he came in again.

Rhett continued:

"I left that house and thought little of it afterward, though at first I was miserable--nearly starved to death. But luckily I had a good hand at cards...a business that decent people despise--ah, they play themselves It's okay to go bankrupt, the only people who make a living out of it are looked down upon. I make a living out of it, and I bet my father was pissed off by it because he thought I should just starve to death for this disgrace, but I used He survived by shameless means. Not long after, I left Savannah and started wandering outside. I have been to sea adventures, Cuban gold panning and so on. I have suffered and been cheated and made money. In short, When I came back to this land, I was already a successful person. I supported myself, I was doing well, and I was very happy with my life."

"I want you to admit - as you can probably guess, after that, I lived a life that didn't treat me badly, including going out to all kinds of places to have fun. I already had the idea of ​​​​pleasure ideas at that time, so I would direct Get some women—I met Bell in New Orleans."

"Oh my god, Watling!" Scarlett showed disgust, but restrained herself, "You have known her so early? That boy must be hers...you have raised her!" At this point, she Finally couldn't calm down.

"Yes." Rhett admitted, "but that was my past life, and Belle wasn't a special one—" He glanced at Scarlett apologetically, the girl's face was pale, "that kind of life didn't mean much to me. There's no harm in that, I enjoy the passion, pay the money and hang out. I'll find someone for a certain period of time, Bell is one of them." Talking about his past makes Scarlett uncomfortable, but Rui I don't want to lie to her.

"Then," Scarlett looked a little shaky, she bit her lips with a pale face, "you still..."

"No," Rhett denied emphatically. "Our relationship ended years ago."

It was a little comforting to hear this Scarlett, though it might have been a reminder that Rhett had other lovers--those lovers had never been clear to Scarlett, given Belle Watling's obnoxious figure. Get in the way.And the woman's intuition told Scarlett that although what Rhett said should be true, Bell must have other thoughts about Rhett, that's for sure!

At the same time, she knew very sadly that Rhett had countless pasts long before her, and these pasts could not be denied even if she didn't like it, because the man she fell in love with was the man who passed through these pasts and stood in front of her.Scarlett can probably understand some of Rhett's feelings of not wanting to get married. Marriage was not a good thing for him from the beginning, but a kind of bondage. fuse.After a few years of wandering around the flowers, he got used to the loose and free relationship between lovers.Maybe his feelings for her are different, but what he likes is that kind of getting along mode, not getting married.Of course, realizing Rhett's idea does not mean that Scarlett is willing to do this, she also has her own persistence.It was just that she understood that his actions were not aimed at her, but at herself—and that made her feel better.Scarlett took a deep breath, controlled the uncomfortable emotions in her heart, and continued to ask: "Then that child... let's continue."

Rhett stared at her face, and slowly opened his mouth, his voice slowly stained with sadness:

"Bell and I were... very happy at that time. We were closer than the general nurturing relationship, because at that time we developed a friendship other than lust. So in addition to spending the night, we would also go out for a drive together. She occasionally has something to do I will also ask for help... I have always been generous and considerate to my female partner, so many people are jealous that she can be with me. At that time, a young woman, whom I met a few times in the bar, came over and told I Belle has a son...says she's old enough not to be fresh."

"I don't really pay much attention to it, but I asked Bell offhandedly once I thought about it. We don't live together - I went to her place to pick her up a few times, but I didn't see the little boy or anything. Bell, who seemed nervous, said that because she had a child, many people would not want her, so when I went to her, she would send the child to an old lady two streets ahead of time. She told me that she was very nervous. She cared about that child, even though it wasn't her son. She was injured in her early years and couldn't have a child, so she almost treated that child as her own son."

"I was a little bit curious about her story with the kid. I told her it was okay, I love kids and we could have dinner together. Bell was so happy, and shortly after that, she told me about the kid's story - listen I lose my appetite after these words."

"Bell told me that the child was difficult for a friend of hers to have. Her friend's reputation was ruined by rejection of marriage. She was not young but could never get married. Finally, she mustered up the courage to elope with an inferior person. The result That low-class man is a complete bastard... That girl was sold to a procuress. Bell met her at this time. In Bell's description, she was a weak and timid girl, but Always a good girl. Soon, the girl was found to be pregnant...She was soft-hearted and refused to have an abortion, so she escaped. Bell took the opportunity to visit her secretly several times, but felt that the girl was getting more and more haggard day by day, she was very worried but There was nothing to be done. On the day of labor, the girl gave birth to a boy and died without a word. Bell buried the poor girl who had been the manor's daughter, and then decided to raise the boy..."

silence.There was a long silence.Scarlett's green eyes rested on his in shock.After a while, he avoided her eyes and said in a calm tone:

"You may have guessed it—the dead girl was the one I refused to marry and even ran away from home because of it."