[Gone with the Wind] Back to the beginning

Rhett looked at her expression carefully, and after confirming that she was fine, he suddenly grinned and returned to his usual casual smile: "Yes, these respectable people."

Scarlett heard his vague sarcasm and conflicted respect, and ignored him.

As early as knowing that Ashley was safe and well, Melanie had left the carriage to comfort Mrs. Meade.Now that Scarlett has regained her composure, she can't help but look over worriedly, only to hear Little Phil trying to comfort his pale mother: "Mom, don't be sad. I'm going to the front to kill all the Yankees..."

"We were taught to hate the Yankees when we were young, but we didn't know why." Rhett's voice seemed to come from afar. "We have become arrogant, ignorant, stupid, hateful, and full of prejudice."

"Phil, shut up!" Melanie yelled, putting her arms around Mrs. Meade, "Do you think you can help your mother by getting yourself beaten to death? Talking like that! How old are you. Come on, put Hurry home, hurry!"

Little Phil hung his head, guilty and stubborn.He picked up the reins and mounted.Melanie turns to Scarlett:

"Scarlett, take Auntie home and come to Dr. Meade's house, okay?" The fat aunt had long been limp and powerless, "Captain Butler, can you please send a letter to the doctor? He is in the hospital. "

Rhett held up his wide-brimmed Panama hat as a sign that it was all right.After Melanie was taken away by the Meade family's carriage, he said goodbye to Scarlett:

"Good-bye. I'm going to Dr. Meade to report his son's death." He paused. "That's ironic, but he's not thinking about it right now. A speculator comes to report the death of a hero, ha!"

This irony is cruel and delightful, mocking others while mocking oneself at the same time.Scarlett looked at his cold and sharp black eyes, and suddenly remembered his previous sentence "we".This man may also die on the battlefield and become a so-called "hero" that he despises at the moment.Thinking of this, Scarlett couldn't help but tremble all over.

"Go." Scarlett stared at her wrist, drooping her thick and slender eyelashes.

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The house was filled with the pungent smell of boiled homespun with homemade black dye, and the cook wept as he stirred the Meade family's clothes in the cauldron.Scarlett and Merry sat together in silence, making for Mrs. Meade a mourning dress borrowed from Mrs. Elsing.

"How is she?" Scarlett asked softly.

"I didn't shed a tear." Melanie replied, her face was terrified, and the tears fell on the fabric in hand, "It's hard enough for a woman not to cry. She said she would go to Pennsylvania to collect the body. Bring it back. The hospital cannot do without a doctor."

The two fell silent again.

After sewing in silence for a while, finally there was a noise outside.Through the curtains, Dr. Meade could be seen dismounting, his shoulders slumped, his head drooping, his gray beard drooping motionless on his chest.

He walked slowly into the house, put down his hat and purse, kissed the two girls one by one, and dragged his weary steps upstairs without saying a word.After a while, little Phil came down alone.With a dull expression and clumsy movements, the two girls invited him to sit together with their eyes, but he sat down alone on the top of the steps, holding his chin in both hands.

Meili sighed and said softly:

"He's mad. The doctor won't let him beat the Yankees. He's only fifteen."

Scarlett nodded silently.

Mei Li's gentle and sad eyes were on Little Phil's back, and she suddenly covered her face: "Oh! Scarlett! If only I had such a child, I, I really want a child."

A certain string in Scarlett's mind suddenly tightened, and she hurriedly replied in a blunt tone:

"What nonsense, Merry! Have a son for the Yankees to kill!"

Mei Li was embarrassed and sorry for a moment: "Oh, Scarlett, I'm sorry. I forgot that you were a girl, how could I say such shameless things..."

Scarlett hesitated for a moment, then patted Melanie on the shoulder lightly.

"It's all right, Merry. In my heart you are just like my own sister."

"But I'm one year older than you." Mei Li's voice was as thin as a mosquito, and said in a low voice, "Scarlett, you are so kind to me. No sister can be closer than you. You have always taken care of me. I love me."

"If you love me, listen to me." Scarlett said a little awkwardly, "Merry, your health is too bad. There is a shortage of supplies for the war now, and there is no way to make up for you." When it comes to issues of concern, she also It's getting serious.

In her previous life, Meili suffered a miscarriage during her second pregnancy due to frailty.Among them, there is the reason why the first childbirth fell to the root of the disease.

Melanie still lowered her head: "But I really want to—Scarlett, life is so great, I am willing to take risks for him." She blushed, "And I don't know when Ashley will come back... "

"I don't know when he will come back. I only know that if there is no nutrition, the baby will be born in poor health. That's what Mammy said." Scarlett pushed the words on Mammy without hesitation, "I heard She told my mother that my brothers didn't grow up because of the weak womb." On the one hand, I apologized to those brothers in my heart.After all, how could Mammy let her hear such things, and she really didn't know how her brothers died.

The atmosphere was a little dull for a while, and after a long time, Mei Li said softly, with a gentle but firm voice:

"If God is really willing to give me a child, I will love and protect him with my life."

——Children are the will of God, and the God she believes in will never tease her.At this moment, Mei Li's ordinary face exuded the radiance of holy motherhood.

Scarlett silently swallowed the words that came to her lips.

She knew that it was impossible for her to convince Meili.

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The Confederate Army was driven back to Virginia and stationed in the winter camp on the Rapidan River, devastated and severely injured.Christmas is approaching in a blink of an eye, and Ashley is coming back for vacation.Meili had been separated from him for more than two years, and she couldn't help being overjoyed when she heard the news.But Scarlett was secretly worried, if Meili was pregnant like in her previous life, it would not be the right time.However, she is still an unmarried girl now, and there is no reason to mention such things at all.

Melanie was always worried that Ashley would never come back, and longed for a child as a consolation.Although this idea is not easy to tell Scarlett, who is still a girl, but the clues can always be seen.Scarlett knew that she couldn't convince Mei Li, who was amazingly stubborn in these matters, and it was impossible for her to go to Ashley to say these words openly.

When she was pregnant with Bonnie in her previous life, Scarlett was still in contact with those upstarts (although Rhett was the same in the eyes of others, but she came from a famous family after all).A nasty woman named Mame once advised her that it was okay for a woman not to have children.The woman was full of big words, not only about the method of abortion, but also about the possibility of contraception.This was something Scarlett had never heard of.

At that time, Scarlett only felt that she was finally happy and that she was going to have a baby again, so she was so unhappy that she even rushed to Rhett to yell.As a result, Rhett scolded her sharply, told her how dangerous abortion was, and comforted her softly with his arms around her who was so frightened that she was crying.It was also a rare expression of his emotions, telling her that even if she was handcuffed, he would not allow her to do dangerous things.Scarlett now thinks of the scene at that time, and often wonders with guilt, how could she happily show off to the father of the child that there is such a thing as abortion in the world?And Rhett clearly liked children that much.

Scarlett put aside the incomprehensible things in advance, after all, Meili is the top priority right now.But the idea of ​​how to get Meili to prevent pregnancy without anyone noticing swirled in her mind for a long time, seeing Meili's gentle and dignified face, Scarlett quietly dismissed the idea.She knew too well how much Meili loved and wanted children.Scarlett really couldn't imagine that Meili couldn't have a child of her own because of herself-after all, it was too much luck for Meili to give birth to Xiaobo in her previous life.And every time she thinks of Wade and Ella who are almost certainly not with her in this life, Scarlett herself can't help being a little sad,

So in the end, Scarlett can only wait for Ashley's return with everyone, with a completely different mood from the previous life.

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Ellen had written a week earlier, asking Scarlett to come home for Christmas.At that time, Scarlett hadn't given up the idea of ​​letting Meili give birth to Xiaobo at another time, so of course she refused to agree.Now that it has been delayed for several days, I simply wrote to my mother and told my mother that when the boys from the county got off the train in Atlanta for Christmas, they would go back together.After all, I haven't seen my friends for more than two years, and I won't delay Christmas when I go back.Only then did Ellen agree.

Ashley arrived home four days before Christmas, with a group of lads who had gone back to the county for vacation.At the Battle of Gettysburg, the number of survivors was depressingly small.Cade Calvert returned, thin and haggard, coughing.The two brothers of the Munro family, with beards and beards, can't stop talking.Tony and Alex of the Fontaines drank too much and were rowdy all the way.They have long since lost their pre-war handsomeness and persona, and now they can't hide their loneliness even if they deliberately talk and laugh loudly.Scarlett couldn't help her heart skipping a beat when she thought of the Tarleton brothers who died in a foreign country, and she put on the sweetest smile as if nothing had happened to let the dirty old lovers kiss her.The boys were blushing and thick-necked, just like before the war, but something had changed after all, Scarlett thought silently.

The train to Jonesboro was still two hours away, and Ashley simply took a group home. "So as not to get into a fight with others," he teased the drunken Fontaine brothers, only to be retorted angrily.Scarlett talked with them for a while, and after announcing that she was going home with them, to the cheers of the boys, she went back to her room to make a final count of what she was going to take with her.In fact, it was almost finished, but Scarlett suddenly changed her mind.

The salt sold better than she expected, and 160 yuan was the highest price she had calculated.Moreover, to get this price, they had to be sold at the end, but Scarlett bought them in batches at first.I don't know what kind of connection Rhett has, which made her earn so much.Scarlett also asked once, but Captain Butler said with a playful face that he bought it himself and hoarded it.Now that he was running the blockade, two hundred pounds of salt was nothing more than a trifle.But it was a great help to Scarlett.

Most of Scarlett's possessions now are gold coins.If it is converted into the post-war Confederate banknotes, it is 160 yuan for salt, 210 yuan for jewelry, and 800 yuan for your own "dowry".After counting these properties, Scarlett couldn't help being secretly proud. With more than 1000 yuan, plus a few pieces of precious jewelry, and the asset set aside in advance—the dowry of her younger sister, she has enough confidence to overcome the difficulties after the war.After all, it was only 300 yuan that forced her to sell herself in her previous life!It's funny to say, but sad to think about it.Scarlett counted her things carefully. Although she would come back again, she would take as much as she could.Besides, there are a lot of strong laborers.

"I don't know if the money from selling cotton has actually been used to subsidize the family. Mom is so kind!" Scarlett muttered, and then there was a knock on the door: "Scarlett?"

It's Ashley.Scarlett replied, "Wait a minute", then hurriedly arranged the things at hand, and pushed the door to go out.