[Comprehensive] Teacher Songyang is always committing suicide

Consciousness turned into soft particles of light, speeding through the huge river of light.

Songyang plunged into the cold river.Even though he was mentally prepared, he was still choked up several times.Instinctively, his body swam upward desperately, until he surfaced, he raised his head and took a big breath of fresh air.

A shadow fell rapidly overhead.

"Bang!"

The hard object hit Songyang directly on the top of his head. For a moment, he only felt gold stars appearing in front of his eyes, vomited a few bubbles in his mouth, and was thrown into the water again.

Songyang rubbed the top of his head, struggled to open his eyes in the water, and saw the black-haired young man who was also staring at the stars.

Songyang: ...

It seems that his brain is much harder than Dazai's.Dazai had a big swelling on his forehead, and he has been unconscious since he was fished ashore.Songyang brushed away his wet bangs helplessly, crawled out of the river, and carried Dazai on his back.

He carried Dazai back to his small apartment familiarly, and when he was looking for the key from the mailbox at the door, he took out a bunch of colorful JK compensated dating cards.After finally opening the door of the apartment with a rattling rattle, a strong and pungent smell of curry hits the face.

It seems that Dazai failed to commit suicide by jumping into the river last time.What kind of hopeless life did this guy lead when he was not around?

Songyang worked tirelessly to clean up the hills of rubbish, threw away the dinner plate covered with curry, and cleaned up the room.It's not that he was born with a cleanliness habit or likes to tidy up. The main reason is that he used to take care of such a large village school by himself, which forcefully forced the leader of Amaterasu Institute Naraku into the way of a wife.Although the housework that is too meticulous is still hard work, it is still possible to keep the room clean.

Dazai probably woke up in the evening.He vaguely smelled the smell of rice porridge, and kicked off the quilt happily on the bed: "Are pine nuts pine nuts—"

Song Yang was leaning against the door of the room with a spoon in his hand, looking at him helplessly.

Dinner for two is settled in the small bedroom.Because Dazai refused to leave the warm bed, he set up a sick table on the bed, and the two of them sat on the bed and drank a large bowl of porridge.

"Pine nuts are the best. A place with pine nuts is very safe."

Dazai licked the rice grains at the corner of his mouth.

"In the end, I was picked up by passers-by that day, damn it! I really thought that Songzi left me alone and died. I have been feeling super lonely for the past two days... Even the number of times I hit up girls in coffee shops dropped sharply to once a day. .”

...It seems that there is still a mood to strike up a conversation.

Songyang put down his chopsticks, typed on Dazai's computer, and roughly talked about how he became a white penguin in the past two days, and then met his former students.

Strange to say, ever since I remembered their names, blurred images did occasionally appear in my mind.Sometimes it is the image of a silver-haired child running past him with candy in his mouth, and sometimes it is the image of children practicing in the dojo. Even the appearance of "Matsushita Village School" seems to have an outline in the memory.

His memory is like a drop of clear water on rice paper, centering on the Matsushita village school, slowly extending in all directions clearly.

Dazai watched seriously with the spoon in his mouth.Just when Songyang kept expressing his disbelief when he hit the silver, he suddenly interjected: "I wanted to ask just now. Does this person like you?"

what?

Songyang paused with his fingertips on the keyboard, and typed out a line of words: [Like Kotaro, we used to be teachers and students]

"Hmm...but, I'm really in love."

Dazai took the spoon out of his mouth with a sly smile that knew everything.When Songyang repeatedly checked whether the words he typed could be easily misunderstood, he had already leaned back and fell on the quilt:

"There are all kinds of teachers and students in this world. There are also students who come to stab the teacher with 'Rashomon' from time to time like Joban."

[Is that man named Akutagawa that day a student of Mr. Dazai? ]

"He was one of the students who took an elective course 'How to Suicide Gracefully and at a High Level' in college."

Songyang laughed and didn't ask any more questions.Dazai ate a pot full of porridge and burped, finally knowing that he obediently took it to the kitchen to wash it up, then picked up his phone and started playing games.Usually when there is no suicide plan, the two of them will do their own things like this, one reading a book and the other playing games, even if they don't say a word all night, they won't feel embarrassed.

"I really like the sense of distance when I'm with pine nuts." Dazai once said to him, "It's been a long time since I've been so relaxed around someone."

Just like the tacit understanding agreed upon by convention, Songyang does not go into the details of Dazai’s work in the detective agency, or the bullet holes in the walls of the room, or being picked on by strange black service gangsters when he walks on the road from time to time, or being dragged into a black van when he goes out to buy groceries. something like this -

...Sure enough, you should still care.

He was handcuffed to a stone pillar in the square, and the wall against which he was leaning was covered with bloodstains that had coagulated and dried up from previous torturers.Probably the expression on his face was too out of order, which made the black suit man in front of him angrily shoot a few shots on the ground, put the hot barrel against his forehead and asked, "Are you the woman who lives with Osamu Dazai?" ? Do you know about the 'Human Tiger'?"

It's not a woman, I don't know, it's none of my business - if he could talk, Songyang would probably be able to quickly deny Sanlian.But his behavior of opening his mouth and not making a sound also annoyed the other party. There was a gunshot in the huge dungeon, and a bullet hole was shot in the wall next to Songyang's head.

Did I fight before?

Songyang, who was thinking like this, broke the shackles with a violent wrist, and embedded the black-clothed uncle who fired the gun into the thick wall with a punch.

Oh yes.

During the scuffle, he touched guns and knives, but he never found a weapon that was particularly suitable for him. He simply fought with the inexplicable black suits with his bare hands.Dodging bullets is a somewhat inhuman thing, and my body seems to be very adaptable, and it can even be said to be more than capable.It seems that the former self is still very powerful, Songyang is a little complacent.

"It's been a long time since I've seen such a simple way of fighting."

At the end of the dungeon stairs appeared a short man wearing a top hat.He didn't say anything more, with a slightly excited smile on his face, he jumped into the chaotic crowd with one kick, and then lightly touched Songyang's body, a circle of red light under his palm.

It seemed that he lost weight in an instant, and Songyang's originally flexible body was lifted into the air. Before he could react, a bullet passed through his throat impartially.

Of course there is pain, but because it is a fatal injury, the healing speed is quite fast.What made him a little concerned was the cloud of black mist that drifted out from the throat wound.The living mist-like creature hung in the air for a moment, slowly seeping into the shadows of the dungeon.

"Pine nuts!"

The weightless body was lowered abruptly, just in time to be caught by the rushing Dazai.Almost all members of the Armed Detective Agency were mobilized, and there was smoke and flash bombs at the entrance of the dungeon. It was very lively. Seeing that Dazai had received someone, Kunikida waved and shouted: "Get out, get out!"

Dazai kept holding Songyang's throat firmly, with a look of grief.Just as Song Yang wanted to grab his wrist and say he was fine, the black-haired young man lowered his head and leaned into his ear and whispered, "No, Song Zi. You should pretend to be dead if you suffer this degree of injury, otherwise the mafia will notice If not, we will have a hard time."

Songyang reacted quickly, immediately let go of his hands and closed his eyes, and obediently collapsed into Dazai's arms.Dazai showed his self-cultivation as an actor in all aspects. As soon as he retracted his arms and closed his eyes, a roar that tore through the sky burst out from his chest: "Pine——"

My ears hurt, my ears hurt, Mr. Dazai.

"Hey, it should be enough for you, right?" The short man in the top hat plugged his ears, opened and closed his eyes, "The boss will come over after a while."

"Chuya!" Dazai turned his head flamboyantly, and tears rolled down Songyang's face, "You bastard, you bastard killed my woman! You think I'll just like this—"

The small man called "Chuya" rolled his eyes so much that he leaned back.Kunikida silently tore a piece of notebook paper, wrote two words with a pen, turned the paper into a syringe gun, and shot Dazai's arm from a distance.

"Song... son..."

Dazai's body slowly went limp, and with the last of his strength, he stroked Songyang's side face reluctantly.

"It's clearly agreed... to...have a lot of children..."

...It's a little too much to make such a promise when others can't move, Dazai-san.

Songyang endured until he was loaded into the detective agency's car, and persisted until he heard Dazai grinningly say "It's ok", then he let out a long breath and opened his eyes.

Even though Dazai had heard about it, but seeing that there was not even a bullet hole left in the throat, all members of the detective agency present gasped.

"Dazai's judgment is correct." The majestic middle-aged human sitting on the co-pilot said, "The regenerative ability is better than that of the 'Human Tiger', once it is known by people other than the detective agency, it will definitely cause a big mess. "

"That's our president." Dazai introduced Song Yang softly.

There were five or six young people sitting in the back of the van. He knew that two of them were Kunikida Kazuyo Yosano, so he introduced himself habitually to the others: "Shimoyoshida Songyang, currently staying at—— "

Before he finished speaking, he stopped his voice abruptly—his mouth was covered by Dazai.

"..." Yoshino held up her newly bought megapixel camera.

"Ah, do you want to take a picture of my expression, Ms. Akiko?" Dazai said calmly, "Why don't you explain to Songyang how wearing women's clothing can help you regain your memory?"

Xie Ye froze.

Dazai pursed his lips again, and muttered, "I still think it sounds nice to be called pine nuts. Pine nuts are so gentle. Is it okay to continue to be called pine nuts in the future?"

Just because I wanted to call myself Songzi, did I keep pretending that he was a woman?This reason is too naive...

After all, Xie Ye is also a doctor. He checked Songyang's throat repeatedly in the car, and he was completely puzzled: "It's strange, can you talk if you wear a hole to ventilate?"

Dazai said: "If the head is also pierced, will it be possible to retrieve the memory?"

Kunikida: "...Don't say such terrible things with an innocent face. Hey Songyang, Songyang, don't show that serious thinking expression?!"

Songyang looked at Dazai's face and thought about it, but he really thought there was such a possibility.Probably because he hasn't spoken for a long time, his voice is still a little hoarse: "I think you can try it."

Although the members of the detective agency are firmly opposed, Dazai can fully understand Matsuyo.He quietly stole a gun for Songyang and came back. The two searched for a place in the apartment for a long time, and then they chose a bathroom that was easy to clean.

"To be honest, it still hurts, right?" Dazai put a silencer on the gun and handed it to Songyang. "At that time, I was very close to the pine nut, and my neck hurt."

Mr. Dazai, I really like the name "pine nut".Songyang looked at him helplessly, and said, "It will definitely hurt. But the fatal wound heals very quickly, so in the end it will only leave the illusion of pain."

He sits on the edge of the tub fiddling with the gun, not sure where to put the hole in his head.And to be honest, just imagining the burning sensation of the bullet shattering the skull and passing through the skull, the body will resist a little.

He can play well with Dazai, probably because they have a common language in the way of suicide - they are not ascetics, so why not choose the most comfortable way to commit suicide?

"can……"

"Want to ask me?" Dazai was unexpectedly obedient, and happily took the gun, "Let me do it."

At this time, you can see the advantages brought by Dazai's murderous black history. At least he knows that the bullet should pass through the back of the head instead of smashing the temple.He pushed back Songyang's long hair, and lightly pressed the gun against the back of the opponent's head.

"Pine nuts~pine nuts~"

Songyang raised his head blankly and looked at him from the bathroom mirror.

"Yes, look at me." Dazai smiled, "Killing in this world is not always linked to hostility, because there are things like killing others with kindness and gentleness. In short, I hope Songzi will not Remember the bad past."

The black-haired young man fired his gun neatly, and blood exploded in front of the mirror.He appeared to glance at the living room clock before firing.

"Excellent, 12 seconds. It only took about two seconds for the gunshot wound to heal, and the rest should be the time for the brain to start working again and let Songzi come back to his senses."

Due to the impact of the bullet, Songyang's body fell forward, and Dazai caught him well.Song Yang reached for a wet towel to wipe the blood on his face, Dazai put away the gun, and slowly rubbed the place where he was shot in the back of his head.

"Does it still hurt?"

"A little..."

"Then I'll knead again~"

Recalling memories after suicide doesn't feel like remembering a particular name.When remembering the names of the students, the memory unfolds slowly and from a specific point, with a timeline and logic.But every time he is reborn after death, the memories that come back to his brain are fragmented, just like hitting a person in the stomach suddenly, that person will spit out again.

"Is there some memory-eating monster parasitized in Pine Nut's body?" After hearing his description, Dazai speculated with a smile, "For example, according to biological common sense, if a parasite coexisting with a host detects the death of the host, It will instinctively transfer something."

Songyang shook his head with a wry smile, resisting such speculation in his heart.With such a short death time like his, how many times does he have to die over and over again to drive out the parasites.

Facts have proved that the effect of opening the head is no better than burning charcoal.The memory he recalled this time was still related to pain. Some sharp gravel seemed to be embedded in his shoulder. He covered his shoulder and raised his head, seeing the blood-red eyes of the man opposite.

A face exactly like his own.A cold smile completely different from her own.

Songyang put everything he could think of into Dazai's computer and saved it.Seeing that it was Tuesday again, Songyang said hello to Dazai who was playing games under the blanket, and prepared to happily jump into the river—to find the door of the time machine.

Dazai's game got stuck, and he was so angry that he screamed on the bed and dropped his phone.Seeing Songyang standing by the door putting on his shoes, Dazai blinked and said, "Songzi Songzi, you said that the person named Gintoki doesn't seem to want to talk to you, does he?"

"Huh? It does feel like there was a holiday before..."

"That's it. At the right time, tell him that we are living together and try."

Songyang froze for a moment, then looked back at Dazai who was lying on his back on the bed with his head hanging on the edge of the bed.Is there any point in saying this?

"Try it." Dazai smiled harmlessly, "Bon voyage~~"