[Comprehensive] Teacher Songyang is always committing suicide

Gao Sugi knelt in the barracks, slowly tied the snow-white rice bowl to his forehead.

He knew very well that there would never be an arrow back when he opened his bow.From now on, he Takasugi Shinsuke can only go to the dark one way.

On the morning Songyang was taken away, he had a fight with Yinshi.To be precise, he unilaterally beat Yinshi to death.

If it wasn't for Gui Rare's rage to stop him that day, I'm afraid Yin Shi would really be beaten to death by him.

"Why don't you go for seppuku?"

He felt it was very strange, and asked Yin Shi softly.

Then he was completely enraged by Yinshi's raised eyes.

can not understand.can not understand.can not understand.

What is that look?What is that expression?

It's only now that I feel the pain, why didn't I fight to the death for my teacher?

If he were in that situation, even if he couldn't save the teacher, he would never choose to live.

——He would rather, would rather let Yinshi collect his body!

Go back to Cheung Chau and find Takasugimoto's family.Kneel down for his father in exchange for information on the lenient regime and prison.Then he joined the army and went north with the anti-barbarian troops, pointing directly at Kyoto.

At first he was alone, but then the few remaining students from the village school found him.Then came Gui, and finally Yinshi.

If it is said that the three of them had different directions from the beginning, then during the period of fighting against the barbarians, the gap between them became wider and wider.

Gui got acquainted with many outstanding seniors who fought against the barbarians, and found his own place to live and work in the anti-barbarian army.This is not surprising, since he was a child, he liked to worry about the country and the people. When he followed Songyang, he often asked about reforms in governance.

Ever since Yinshi was beaten up by him, he seemed to have been beaten and wilted. Most of the time when he was in battle, he was at the rear of Matsushita's disciples, and he never took the initiative to attack when there was a chance.It seems that for him, he wants to protect his classmates more than going out to kill the enemy.

But war is not such a gentle thing.

The classmates who studied together in the same year were killed one by one.Some were seriously injured and died, some were bombarded into flesh by shells, and some were shot to death indiscriminately.

In the pouring rain, the silver-haired boy stood among the corpses, looking up to the sky.Rain and tears trickled down his bloodied face.

He let out a most terrible and desperate roar.

Immediately afterwards, he jumped high, the blade glowed white like a silver fish swimming away, and broke into the densely packed enemy formation.

From then on, White Yaksha was born.

Takasugi felt that he was the one who had not been changed by the war.Perhaps from the very beginning, he was the most violently paranoid person, so nothing can change him.

He never knew why Yinshi followed Songyang.

Presumably, it is also in a very unbearable situation.Otherwise, why would Songyang keep secret for Yinshi over and over again?

Songyang is the one who knows the most secrets, and also the one who holds the most secrets.He was obviously the one who took him away from Takasugi's house back then, but when asked later, he smiled and said that it was Jinsuke who lost his temper and ran out secretly.

... The character set of a violent young man who has caused him to hang up for so many years.

Takasugi’s family status is Dazumi, although they are ridiculed as low-level samurai by those famous aristocratic students in the martial arts school, but in the establishment, Dazu is the upper class among sergeants, can ride horses, and has a salary of 200 shi, which belongs to a part of the upper-level samurai kind.

Probably because of this, my father's strict observance of Bushido and his absolute loyalty to the shogunate are beyond the comprehension of the young Takasugi.

Regarding bushido, there was also a very radical bushido cultivation book at that time. Although it was banned by the shogunate, the ideas in it were widely circulated in private.

The book is called "Ye Yin".

If he hadn't met Matsuyo, Takasugi would still think that the courage of bushido means to die decisively, die without nostalgia, and die without hesitation.Only death is the supreme glory of a warrior. It is no longer enough to eliminate selfishness, and one must serve the public through death to be an orthodox warrior.

He didn't see anything else from Bushido except the death words in his eyes.

Because of the reason that "to make people not afraid of death, they must be accompanied by death", when he was 7 years old, my father brought over the dog that grew up with him and asked Takasugi to kill it himself.

An old servant who had served the family for many years rescued an abused wife and sent her back to her natal home.The drunken mad husband chased him down, and the servant fled in a hurry.

Noble and selfless as his actions were, there was no excuse for fleeing.The head of the Takasugi family beheaded the servant himself, and let the 9-year-old Takasugi watch and learn the beheading movements, so that when he was 15 years old, he could execute the deviant servant by himself.

"It is the honor of their life to die under your sword."

His father told him so.

He looked at the old servant.The dead man's empty eyeballs rolled towards the sky, filled with frozen fear.

There is no glory.

can not understand.can not understand.can not understand.

Even after entering the best martial arts gym in the whole state, the dull feeling in my heart still cannot be relieved.

At the age of 10, he challenged 11 people in the dojo, and more and more people came to challenge him.

He was extremely impatient with these wine bags and rice bags who only knew how to get back the game. He tried to give up the battle and leave, but he was hung up and beaten severely when he returned home.

His childhood education was mostly beating and scolding, and this time the beating was particularly severe. When he was put down, he struggled for a long time before getting up.

Just lay there.

He lay down until midnight.Then, while no one was watching, he quietly crawled back to his room.

"If you dare to give up the battle next time, I will really kill you."

said father grimly.

can not understand.can not understand.can not understand.

If people are born to die inexplicably, what is the use of life?

He let himself get lost.Leaving home, leaving the martial arts hall, leaving the crowd, wandering in the depths of the unknown mountains all day long.

The young man's dark green pupils reflected the wings of flying birds.

——It would be great if people were free birds.

Skim the treetops, cross the mountains, and go to distant places.

If you want, you never have to look back.

Fortunately, he did not turn into a bird.

Because after that, he met his lifelong rival, lifelong friend and mentor.

-

Songyang was older than him, and was powerful and powerful. For a child of that age, he would feel somewhat in awe.

"People are far freer than they think."

Songyang was probably just talking to himself at that time, and it fell into Gaoshan's ears like thunder.

"Then, if you feel confused because of this, what should you do?"

"Since you choose freedom, confusion is the price you have to bear. It's no big deal, just get used to it. People are creatures who can feel happy even if they live in confusion."

Songyang smiled, as if speaking to him, but also as if speaking to himself.

"Moreover, the freedom that really makes people feel happy is not doing whatever they want, but not doing it."

I like the free and unstructured village school.I like those classmates who grow wildly.I like the teacher.

Boys who like these things go to the gym every day.Holding a knife and saying that I must defeat you today, I said in my heart, please let me stay.

Please let me stay.

I couldn't say this sentence myself, so every day, I was silently waiting for them to speak.

Songyang gave him a special dressing, which always made his eyes hot to a new level.

Sometimes when I got home, I couldn't help but secretly remove the bandages that were stained with medicine.He took the idea, and if he put it on, his eyes would really go blind.

But I don't know why, I just want to see the other party concentrating on bandaging me.

Maybe the teacher didn't realize it himself.His attitude towards the students always has a kind of careful pity.It is estimated that it is the reason why I did not have frequent contact with children in the past.

Takasugi, who grew up in a strict samurai family, has never experienced this kind of heart-warming pity.

"Hmph, you bastard."

When he was 10 years old, he was beaten severely, thrown in the courtyard, and lay on the ground until midnight before crawling back by himself.Gao Shan saw that self in the dream, feeling a little proud.

"Someone will feel sorry for me now. How about it, envy?"

When the duel with Yinshi reached 25 wins and 36 losses, the family could no longer bear his domineering publicity.

"Just reflect on it here."

A heavier spanking than the 10-year-old.Then he was hanged by his father on a tree outside the house, leaving a servant to watch over him.

The whip drew blood from the corner of his eye, causing half of his eye to be swollen and unable to see clearly.My father went away on a temporary occasion and didn't know the date of return, and he didn't explain anything to the servants.

The servant didn't dare to act rashly, he could only follow the master's order, and didn't even give him a sip of water.

On the third day of being hung like this, the boy's heart gradually turned cold.

"...Jinsuke?"

When the teacher's voice came from his hazy consciousness, he thought he was hallucinating.

But no.Song Yang stood under the big tree and looked up at him, his light green eyes slightly widened.

"...Damn it, that talkative guy with the wig!"

Takasugi's first reaction was to turn his face away.

The only thing is that I don't want the people in the village school to see it.The only thing is that I don't want them to see that the guy who is usually extremely arrogant and kicks the gym everywhere looks miserable at home.

Songyang often sent Gao Shan home, so some of the servants recognized him.Someone stopped him immediately:

"Mr. Matsuyo, this is Takasugi-sama's way of discipline, please don't interfere."

Gao Shan felt as if his body was loosened, as if some sharp weapon picked up the rope, but he couldn't see when Songyang made the knife.

His frail body fell into the other's warm embrace.

"I'm taking this child away."

Even with such strong words, there was still a gentle smile in the man's voice.

"There is no need for unnecessary disputes."

A silver light flashed from the scabbard, and the sticks held up by the servants were shattered into splinters.

When Songyang led him back, he still took the old road that sent him home.It was already night, and Takasugi remembered the scene clearly.

Just like yesterday.

They walked through the silent woods, across the hillsides covered with wild flowers, and the road they walked was full of stars.

The spring flowers don't know how to feel sad, and they are bustling to surround them, but they are gently pushed away by the man in front, so as not to let the children behind them be cut by the flower thorns.

He was ignorant and followed Songyang for almost a mile before realizing that Songyang wanted to take him away.

Leave the cold courtyard, the cruel knife, and be a free bird.

"...Yoshida Shoyang, will you take me back to the village school?" He was full of hope, "Will you take me back?"

"Not."

He grabbed Songyang's hand tightly.

"Let's go to Miss Dianzi's house first. We treated the wound, changed into new clothes, ate a full stomach, and then rested for a few days. Although my classroom doesn't have any dress code requirements, Jinsuke is not afraid of being scared when he comes to class dressed like this Are you a kid in the class?"

He pursed his lips embarrassingly, and finally choked out a sentence: "I won't pester you to fight again in the future."

This is Shinsuke Takasugi's "thank you".

The man laughed softly at him.He said, "You're welcome."

Father didn't come to trouble Matsushita village school with much fanfare, which was also in line with his personality of wanting face.He just sent a servant to inform Gao Shan that if he didn't go home again, the relationship between father and son would be severed.

Severing ties has been talked about a lot in the past, and it seems to have become an effective intimidation tactic.But this time, Takasugi did not go back.

"Goodbye," he said.

-

What is the sound of the world collapsing?

It wasn't a bang.

"——I can't aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!"

The left eye that was about to be lost saw the gentle smile of the teacher.

His right eye was full of blood and tears, when he saw Yin with his back facing him, he cut off Songyang's head with a single knife.

He was fascinated by flying flowers for a moment, and many, many glimpses flashed under his eyelids.

White flying bird.Cherry blossoms.Light gray kimono.Gently turning the pages of the book.Red torii.The rattling lottery.

there is none left.lost.it's over.

The first person who chose to embark on the journey was him.

He lost so many companions, his body was pierced by swords and guns thousands of times, and at the end, he still couldn't get his teacher back.

When the teacher is there, he still has a source;

After the teacher left, he only had to return home.

What is the sound of the world collapsing?

It was tears falling to the ground with a very light "click".

The white-haired man who supervised the beheading looked indifferent. Seeing Songyang's head fall to the ground, he made a gesture of retreating to his subordinates who surrounded the entire execution ground.

The black crows receded like a tide.The man looked at the three students, paused, and said, "The mentor gave you a chance to live with your life, don't use it to do stupid things."

Takasugi lowered his head.He pressed his forehead to the ground, and breathed hard as if lacking oxygen, so as to recover himself from the trance state as soon as possible.

next second.

"go to hell--!!"

Forcibly breaking through the sealed meridians, using his body riddled with holes, to confront the leader of the killers, he would never have a chance of surviving.

Kill me too.

too painful.It's too painful.His internal organs were turned upside down by the pain, no matter how many tears he shed, he couldn't wash away such a great sadness.

Please, kill me too.

This was probably the only time in his lifetime that Shinsuke Takasugi made such a weak plea.

There was sharp pain in the left eye, followed by complete darkness.

The Kunai thrown by the opponent blinded his left eye, and made him stop before the crows' knives and fell to his knees.

"I'll say it again. Don't waste the life that your mentor left for you so easily."

According to the agreement, they were left alive.

Takasugi was lying on his side on the ground, bleeding from his left eye.He looked at Songyang's head which fell on the ground in front of him.

Song Yang looked very peaceful.His eyes were closed, and there was still a little smile on the corner of his mouth, as if he was relieved.

He also saw Yin Shi's expression when he killed Song Yang with his own hands.

When he saw Yin, he was crying and laughing at the same time.

There has always been some kind of wonderful bond between Yinshi and Songyang, and he knows it.

Compared with bosom friend and music recognition, it is more like sympathy for each other.

From the very beginning, Songyang had whispered to him.

"I don't know if I picked up Yinshi, or Yinshi picked me up."

At least, it was a fetter he couldn't understand.

Even though he was forced to do such a terrible act of beheading his teacher, the silver-haired boy remained very calm.The boy even wiped off the blood on the knife with his sleeve, and quietly put it back into the scabbard.

Holding Songyang's head wrapped in white cloth, they walked side by side to the base camp.

No one spoke on the way.

Ironically, the time of execution coincided with spring.There is a small grove of cherry blossoms near the base camp, which was burnt into a pile of black wood by the flames of war, but there are still a few small pink flowers blooming tenaciously.

At this moment, without warning, Yinshi's whole body collapsed.

The reason why he used the word "collapse" to describe it was because he couldn't find any other words that could describe the desperate state of human beings.

Gintoki fell to the ground suddenly as if he was shot by a gun or cut off by a knife.

He was still sane and tried to get up, but his twitching limbs didn't listen to him at all, twisting and knotting on their own.He desperately grabbed the trunk next to him, and his nails drew five bloodstains on the trunk.

He seemed to be yelling hysterically, but no sound came out of his throat.

He has lost his voice completely.

Gui held him by the side, persuading "Yinshi, calm down", and in the end, his voice also became crying, crying over there, "Why did it become like this, and why?"

Takasugi didn't say anything, nor did he cry.Holding the white cloth bag in his arms, he walked past the hysterical Yinshi, the silently weeping Gui, and the base camp, all the way down.

He let himself get lost.

Over the mountains, through the streams, and go to far away places.

He always carried Songyang's head with him.

The blood from the incision on the head and neck had drained dry, and the blood on the face had completely faded, but there had been no rot or maggots.

He knew that the teacher had many secrets, and death without corruption might be one of them.

He combed his long hair carefully and wiped his face with a wet towel.

Once at the home of a villager who kindly let him stay overnight, he wanted to talk to Songyang before going to bed, which almost drove the family crazy.

Takasugi was always awake.

He knew what he was doing and why.He knows what he needs.

He needed something to hold him up and get him through the most painful deep depression after a major trauma.

He wanted to find a reason for himself so that he wouldn't wake up one morning and suddenly draw a knife and cut his stomach open.

live.

The teacher still needs him.

If he killed himself like this, who would bury the teacher's body?Outsiders who don't know the reason will treat the teacher's head as a wild corpse, and randomly throw it on the wasteland, letting the crows peck away the eyes.

This is too tragic.

The boy held that quiet head and whispered in the night.

"Teacher, did you see the forest that was burned? After a year, flowers grew again."

"Teacher, do you remember this road? I fell from here when I was a child, and you jumped down to catch me."

"Teacher, we are going home."

live.

The head was solemnly boxed, and he was buried on the old site of the village school.Before closing the lid, he lightly touched the other's forehead.

"thank you teacher."

The last trace of tenderness in the boy's eyes was completely wiped out as the box was closed.

Survive and get your revenge.

There will be no more possibilities in his life.

There will never be a happier time than the time in the village school.

His soul has followed Songyang and his dead classmates across the Santu River, leaving only a body filled with "obsession" in the world.

There will never be an arrow back when you open the bow.

From now on, he has only one way to go.