[Comprehensive] Teacher Songyang is always committing suicide

Songyang sent away the last child in the private school, closed the gate of the private school, and walked to an inconspicuous hotel on the edge of Kabukicho.That is Gaoshan's current temporary habitat, he avoided Yinshi and the children pulled Gui, and quietly asked Gaoshan's location.Gui said that he would tie someone back to him, but Songyang hurriedly said that it would be fine for him to find Jin Zhu by himself.

"Teacher... can't I go with you?"

The long-haired student obviously looked remorseful for sending his teacher to the tiger's mouth.

"It's okay, I'll have a good talk with Jin Zhu."

Although Gui was soothed by such a gentle voice, he still paused slightly when he opened the wooden door with frayed edges and saw the purple-haired man leaning against the window looking into the distance.

Whether it is Songyang or Xu, they are emotional insulators in an absolute sense during the nightmarish hundreds of years before leaving Tianzhaoyuan.When I was young, I had exhausted my mind to escape the persecution of human beings, and since then I have been staying in Naraku of Tianshaoyuan, and I have no concept of the normal mode of human beings getting along.

Although he is the leader of the students in terms of knowledge and will, Songyang still has a very obvious shortcoming: he doesn't know how to properly deal with the feelings poured into him.

Moreover, compared to the unrevealed love, perhaps Jinzhu himself didn't realize that there was a more serious void in his heart - this was what Songyang thought clearly during the few days when he was stuck in his quilt as a neet.

If Oboro has been officially freed from the long and painful atonement, then Takasugi wakes up from the ecstasy of destruction, and the severe pain has just begun.

——Who is setting off the fireworks, a child from the Takasugi family?

When Songyang closed the sliding door softly, an inexplicable call sounded in his ears.Probably one summer night, he led the children in the village school on the side of the road in the field, and saw small fireworks sticks shaking in the night to guide him in the direction of the village school.

At that time, Jinsuke was still holding a firework stick and smiling with crooked eyebrows.

Thinking of that smile, Songyang's eyes were so soft that they met the man's turning back.It seemed that the person who originally expected to appear would be someone else, Takasugi hesitated for a second or two before standing up from the window.

"teacher."

"I asked Kotaro to bring you a letter, did Jinsuke see it?"

"...No." The man's eyes tended to degenerate into dead fish eyes, "I had a little argument with that guy."

No wonder he would rather hide in this remote small hotel than come back to see himself.Songyang looked helplessly at the black marks under Gao Shan's eyes, sat down at the table, took a small pot of tea, and slowly warmed it.

Gao Shan lowered his eyes and did not say anything, watching the other party's thin white fingers gently fiddle with the rough tea set that came with the hotel, he actually lost his mind for a while—what broken tea set?Tomorrow I will bring a set of Asakura Bunrin back to the private school for the teacher.

Songyang is still trying to hide his doubts, but to say that the governor of the ghost army is as stable as an old dog at the moment is definitely a lie.

It was too aggressive, when he left the private school that night clutching his bandaged shoulder, he wished he had never been there.The never-ending brutal wars and political conspiracies made him used to being scheming, and he vented himself on the teacher recklessly, which even made him feel strange.

Too aggressive, Takasugi Shinsuke.

How could he think of holding a knife to force him to love himself?

For Songyang, who is not very emotionally enlightened, a straight ball is always more useful than beating around the bush, but the timing must be right.Gao Shan has a lot of patience and skills. He could have slowly grinded with Songyang, wearing away his strangeness to adult students, blurring the boundaries between teachers and students, and letting Songyang combine warmth and love into one concept.

Just like treating a virgin who doesn't know much about the world.Rubbing and rubbing in his arms, coaxing, pampering and cheating, he must wait for him to take off the last layer of clothes before he kisses that piece of pale skin that will never belong to anyone else.

Teacher Songyang.

I whispered this name quietly when no one was around.Just by reciting the name, that abyss seems to be completely filled with happiness.This name represents his carefree youth, one of the few doting smiles in his life, and a certain sense of down-to-earth that will never be abandoned.Teacher Songyang will never leave his students—unless he dies or is expelled.

Until now, he can still remember the strong sense of faith when he was young.As long as he is held by the warm hand of the teacher, he will have nothing to fear in his heart.

The bad thing is Song Yang's concern for another person.

He has no doubt that Songyang will be loyal to a person for a lifetime, but if this loyalty does not belong to him-he will go crazy.

Takasugi heard some clips about Songyang and Yingu getting along in Mianyan.A child can't understand the delicate emotions between adults, but he understands it.He could even imagine Songyang's expression when he spoke, a little less calm when facing the students, and a little more carefully concealed appreciation.

He couldn't make up his mind, wondering if he should go to the private school to meet Songyang.He wandered back and forth in Kabukicho in the night, and the cold night rain wet his clothes and stuck to his skin icily.For a moment, he thought about leaving Kabukicho just like this, letting Songyang move freely, and choosing the happiest ending for himself——

"You fucking fart."

Gao Shan said coldly to the deserted rain alley.

The night wind blew the drenched clothes very cold, and it was this coldness that completely angered him.He turned around and strode into the private school, walked into the warm light, and slammed the smiling person on the wardrobe.

Why should you back down?Obviously, his desire for Songyang has reached the point of biting the other party's throat and letting the poisonous undead blood flow into his body.Even he himself doesn't know where this hysterical sense of seeking comes from—Songyang should be gentle and sweet to him, but there is always a black scurrying emotion deep in his heart, forcing Looking at Songyang also made his love seem extremely painful.

Under Takasugi's drooping eyelids, the color of his eyes became darker and darker, and his gaze was raised from the back of his fair hand that was pouring tea to Songyang's slightly bent face.He lowered his hands slightly, and the edges of the sleeves with complicated patterns covered his muscular arms, then got up and walked towards Songyang.

Before reaching out to touch the other party's light-colored long hair, Song Yang gently closed the lid of the pot and whispered, "Jin Zhu, I have attended your funeral."

Gao Shan stopped walking and was completely stunned.

"Two years ago in Tianzhaoyuan Naraku, I once existed for a short time. For him..."

Songyang pursed his lips, paused for a while, then shook his head and smiled softly: "To the teacher, it is really too cruel. I didn't know that Jin Zhu was pretending to die at that time, and he could only see the corpse covered There is a white cloth next to Jinsuke's pipe; I am far away, and I can't secretly open it and take a last look. At that time, I thought, so this is what people often call "white hair and black hair"? It's really painful. , the pain is so painful that I don’t even have the strength to sigh, I don’t even remember when I started crying and when the tears were all gone.”

"Teacher, you are..."

Takasugi bit his tongue.

He remembered almost instantly that in his funeral procession, there was a strange young man who was incompatible with him—the eyes were too gentle and too sad.Now that I think about it, 80.00%, no, [-]% is Songyang's disguise.

Why didn't they find it?

"Why are you so weak?"

Song Yang said in a low voice, "I followed the funeral crowd, thinking over and over again, recalling every detail, if I revealed my identity when giving Jin Zhu the medicine, maybe everything would be different; If I took the initiative to hug Jinsuke, Xu would not be able to stab that knife? However, even in that situation, I was still afraid of my past, and I was also afraid of seeing Jinsuke's shocked expression. The situation finally reached the point of no return. In the war against the barbarians, how many students died on the battlefield because of my weakness? What qualifications do I have—"

"That's not the teacher's responsibility."

Takasugi interrupted him directly.His lips were drawn tightly, and he looked like he was about to lose his temper.

"It was my choice to break into Tianzhaoyuan Naraku, and I was the one who brought my classmates to the battlefield. This crime, no matter what, cannot be borne by the teacher."

Songyang quietly stared at the green pupils that seemed to tremble a bit.It was he who took the initiative to choose to tear apart the bloody past, and it was not easy for him at this time.But even though the smile was on his face, Songyang's pale green eyes were still warm and peaceful, like a quiet lake in spring.

"That's why you ask me, is it worth being killed by me like this, isn't it?"

If he hadn't noticed the heart-wrenching words that Jinsuke said when he was almost insane, Matsuyo might not have realized that Takasugi had such a serious tendency to self-destruct.

After everyone has gone through ten years of ups and downs, ended the protracted final battle, and opened the post-war era that is sometimes dull and sometimes jumpy, everyone is moving forward. Discarded far away in the last winter of the village school.

It's not that you don't want to move forward, it's not that you don't want to get happiness, but the way forward is too painful.

For him, the happiness of his life has stayed in the pure and innocent youth. If he goes forward, if he is the one who bears the sin because of revenge, he will never have a happier time.Even when building the new Matsushita private school in Kabukicho, he somehow insisted on planting cherry blossom trees in the same place in the garden.

However, even if the tree is planted in the same location, it will not be the same as the Matsushita Village School of that year.

Can't let go from beginning to end.

Tormenting himself because of his obsession, and wanting to ask for help because of the pain of self-torture, but doubting whether he is still eligible to be redeemed with bloody hands.In this respect, he is so similar to Yinshi that he is almost carved out of a mold. The difference is that he is the one who looks more indifferent, but loves more deeply and hurts more severely.

"Jin Zhu really hasn't changed for many years, he's always been that good boy who values ​​friendship."

Seeing Takasugi remained silent, Songyang sighed, and slowly poured warm tea into the cup.Gao Shan didn't reach out to take it, he just took the other's palm and gently put the cup in.

"My qualifications as a teacher are still young, and I really have no way to persuade a guy with a strong sense of responsibility and stubbornness to let me go from the perspective of a teacher. Therefore, I can only express myself superficially and selfishly as Songyang and myself. That's all.

Song Yang stared at the other party's expression, soft and gentle as always.

"Jin Zhu, it's really great that you survived. Other than that, nothing else matters."

Probably no one had ever said that to him so directly and sincerely.Gao Shan was slightly taken aback, and even his green pupils slightly widened.

"The country is not important, the world is not important, the earth is not important. As long as Jinsuke can live happily and happily, I can do whatever I want. I don't want to lose anyone anymore, and I don't want to cry anymore Attend any student funeral.

"Jin Zhu, just your existence alone can make another person in the world feel happy. Why can't you realize such an important value of yourself? It's just that that person still secretly hopes that if you can see Jin again Help's smile—wait, don't…"

Shocked by the man who walked around the table and leaned closer, Songyang had no choice but to stop talking, and wanted to press the other's shoulder in embarrassment, but remembered that there was an injury there, so he froze, and was still wrapped around the waist by the other party.

Songyang's low-pitched look was really cute, and the purple-haired man with downcast eyes couldn't help being amused.He whispered: "Teacher, I just want to be hugged by you. If you don't do this, I feel like my heart is about to jump out."

Hearing what he said, Songyang relaxed his body, and gently accepted the purple-haired student into his arms.The other party leaned against his neck, his lips touched his long hair lightly, as if he was sniffing something lightly, and he was satisfied-why did one or both have this habit?Songyang thought seriously.Do you want to send a box of saponins that he often uses to the students?

"As long as the teacher says a word, I will no longer live in idling. Even if I walk through the corpses on the battlefield and the ruins that destroyed the world, I will live with peace of mind just for the teacher alone."

"Jinsuke, it doesn't matter if you said you lived for me at the beginning, but I still hope that you can see the same affection that your partners pour into you, and gain strength from the people around you like Yinshi - "

"No. I just need you."

The man replied like a child angry, which made Songyang laugh helplessly.His smile didn't last for two seconds, because the other party turned his head and kissed the corner of Songyang's lips lightly.

"Teacher, I do love you deeply. I can't imagine any way to be happy except with you. Until I die, I will only look at the teacher in my life; except for the teacher, this No one in the world can."

Takasugi's eyes don't look like the calm and treacherous governor of the ghost army, it seems that he has passed through the precarious war and years in an instant, and returned to the afternoon of his youth when he was sprinkled with ink and sunshine.At that time, the boy still had green pupils and a calm expression. He never took his eyes off the quiet and gentle long-haired teacher every second.

A teenager who doesn't know love and hate is the most excited in his life.

In the later life, I finally understood the suffering in the world, what is love and parting, and what is long-term hatred, but I have never met someone who can make my heart move so much.

Songyang still looked a bit embarrassed, but he still looked into the other's eyes and explained the reason seriously:

"Jinsuke, I really can't respond to you now. I can't just accept Jinsuke's wishes without knowing my own feelings. It's not fair to Jinsuke, and it will hurt you in the end. you."

"The teacher was worried about hurting me?"

Takasugi smiled softly, "In this case, let's limit a period of time, the teacher will come and try to see if he can fall in love with me, is that okay?"

Seeing that his pale green eyes are not as rational and calm as before, Songyang is still at a loss and ignorant about the love that is not very familiar with him as a "monster".It doesn't matter, Gao Shan thought, he will lead the teacher closer to him hand in hand, as for separation - as long as Songyang chooses to be with him, this option will no longer appear in his life.

"A month? A week?"

Takasugi wrapped his arms around the opponent's waist, his voice gradually became soft and seductive.

"One day? One hour? Even if it's only 1 minute, I'm satisfied."

He seemed to be begging, but the slightly raised corners of his mouth showed that he was determined to win.Songyang blinked and didn't look at him, as if he was about to waver.For the governor of the Ghost Squad, who had already begun to strategize, even if Songyang faltered for just a second, he would be able to win this round.