[Comprehensive British and American] Family Matters

Bringing Jason and Damian home was a huge mistake, Bruce concluded.

It used to be Alfred alone, trying to make Bruce's life a little healthier, if at all possible - to bring Bruce back from the path of self-destruction.In the one-on-one results, eight out of ten times Alfred lost miserably, one miserably won and one tie ended.

Many times Bruce felt sorry for the old man, and was even mentally prepared that one day Alfred would throw his resignation letter in his face, pack his luggage and go back to England to retire.

Now it seems that there will be no resignation letter in a short time, which is a good thing.But when the battle situation changed from one-on-one to three-on-one, and the Alfred camp gained an overwhelming advantage, it was not so good.

He shouldn't have brought Jason and Damian back to the Batcave to investigate (even digging a hole to bury the two troublemakers), and he shouldn't have given him a questioning look when Alfred , express dissatisfaction with his perfunctory answer and provide a full explanation when pressed.

Now Alfred has devoted himself to "Young Masters", completely ignoring the four key words "parallel universe".Bruce even suspects that if Alfred were 30 years younger, he would probably be posting pictures of his children on IG like other proud parents by now (suddenly fortunate that there was no such thing as IG back then, Bruce couldn’t imagine such a thing How terrible it would be if the dark history of childhood is still circulating on the Internet after many years).

"Eat slowly, Master Jason, Master Damian, there is still a lot of food."

Alfred brought out two more sandwiches, placed them in front of Jason and Damian respectively, and took away the stacked empty plates at the same time, saying that the best compliment to the chef is to eat up the meal, Alfred De smiled as he watched the two young men in front of him wolf down the sandwich into his mouth, even licking off the sauce on his fingers.

If it were someone else showing this kind of eating in front of Alfred, even Bruce would have to babble, but if it were Jason and Damian making such an indecent eating, Alfred would frown. They didn't even wrinkle, but took out orange juice and fresh milk for fear that the two of them would choke if they were in a hurry.

"I'm afraid there will be nothing in the wine cellar of Wayne's family to pass on. Fortunately, Wayne's kitchen is the one that is not valued in comparison, so we have sufficient and nutritious food that can be provided to those who know how to appreciate it." people."

It was just a word, and Bruce felt that the knees of his legs were full of arrows.

"Don't be kidding, Fu." Jason swallowed the last bite of the sandwich, with a satisfied expression on his face, as if he was still immersed in the delicious food, "But any normal person, who would dislike your craftsmanship!"

Damian nodded in agreement, and added: "There are always ignorant people who don't know what they missed. Don't care about such people, Pennyworth."

The dysfunctional, ignorant and muddle-headed Bruce Wayne pretended to be analyzing the kryptonite brought by Jason and Damian, and didn't see Alfred's eyes on him.

Bruce decides to say something, before Alfred comes up with a new idea to satirize him.

"This kind of stone contains a small amount of radiation." He pointed to the data analyzed by the computer, watching Jason and Damian waiting for their explanation, "But from the perspective of the dose, even humans will not be harmed, you expect I believe it's kryptonite?"

"It's real, it's ten-for-one kryptonite." Jason said while stretching out his hand, "In our universe, you saved a lot in the Batcave. Basically, everyone in our family will bring a few kryptonite." block on the body."

"And Kryptonians are not born with it... How do you describe it here? Oh, yes, 'Man of Steel'." Damian absent-mindedly tugged on the thread of the cuff of his T-shirt, "They were born on their home planet. They are ordinary people, just like people on Earth. Kryptonite is a mineral from Krypton, and contact with Kryptonite is like twisting Superman back into an ordinary Kryptonian, which will make him weak."

Bruce didn't immediately ask more questions, but turned around and continued to stare at the kryptonite scan data displayed on the screen, frowning deeply - Jason guessed that he was probably calculating the chances of recreating the Kryptonian environment on Earth. how high.Suspicious big bat.

"How do you know this news?" When Jason finished eating another piece of fruit and was already full and wanted to doze off, Bruce obviously ended his contemplation and returned to the blunt conversation between them, "More The important point, has it been verified?"

If this is true, then with the right arrangements, Bruce believes he can lure Superman into a prison specially built for him--Superman without the body of steel is much easier to deal with, Bruce has seen Superman and General Zod Thanks to the popularization of mobile phones, every time Superman falls from the sky to resolve a crisis, someone records and uploads the video. Except for superpowers, that alien can only do one trick from beginning to end. fist.

Damian was poking dessert with a small fork, and when he heard Bruce's question, he mumbled a hard sentence, but because of the mouthful of whipped cream and other sweet ingredients, Bruce really didn't hear what he said.

"That's what Joe told him, and I'm pretty sure Joe heard it from his dad, so..." Jason shrugged and pushed his dessert in front of Damian (Joe The guy obviously likes sweets, but he always pretends that his taste is 'adult'), "Very believable. By the way, before you ask me 'who is Joe', let me just say it, he is Superman His son is about the same age as Damian, and the two of them play really well."

"Little Joe is an acceptable companion, although his naivety often makes me wonder how he has grown to this age." Damian finally swallowed the dessert in his mouth, and finally he was able to speak clearly. Just counting down mercilessly.

"He's just a child, Rice." Jason sighed helplessly, "He's a happy child with both parents, who will go back to his hometown to see his grandparents from time to time. They should be innocent and cute."

Damian looked at Jason with a very strange look.

"Reshaw O. Gu is not a grandfather in the normal sense, no, absolutely not." Jason remembered clearly how Lei Xiao O. Gu wanted to grow him up just because he used the Lazarus Pond. Unload eight pieces.

Bruce suddenly appeared opposite the small table where Jason and Damian were dining, and interrupted their conversation roughly by clapping his hands on the table, while Ah Fu shouted in surprise and anger on the other side: "What are you doing! "

"Superman gave birth to a baby Superman? On Earth?" Bruce sounded like someone had spat on his parents' grave, and that kind of anger really scared Jason, he'd never seen Bruce like that before, "and What you're saying sounds like... like he's a friend! What do you guys think about Batman?"

"Ken..." Damian wrinkled his nose and was about to speak, but was ordered to stop by a gesture from Jason.Wanting to say something but unable to say it, Damian poked viciously at the dessert Jason gave him.

Jason carefully considered the words: "Whether Superman is Batman's friend or not, I can't say."

Bruce snorted coldly, as if the idea of ​​"being friends with Superman" touched a sensitive nerve somewhere in him.

"But!" Jason raised his voice slightly, making Bruce look at him, and the two of them had a short staring match, "You two really work well together, to be honest, you are the best partner in the world (World' s Finest)."

Seeing that Bruce seemed about to refute himself, Jason quickly reminded him: "Even so, you still have a backup plan in the Batcave - kryptonite, remember what I said just now?"

Bruce's answer was a look of disapproval, and then he left the Batcave without saying a word—even though he wasn't wearing a bat suit, he still had the aura of a dark knight.

Alfred sighed, took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose: "Superman has been like that since his public appearance. It was a terrible tragedy that day, and hundreds of people died."

"I know, we were all there at that time." Jason looked down at the messy cups and plates on the table, the joy brought by the food had faded, especially after communicating with Bruce, who seemed to have gotten into the horns, Jason Sen only felt that his stomach was full of stones, cold and heavy.

To be honest, this Bruce makes him feel uncomfortable, especially when he mentions Superman with an almost paranoid look.

"If Superman didn't settle Zod, the situation would be even worse." Jason tapped his fingers on the table in a chaotic rhythm, "If I had to choose between Zod and Superman, I would definitely choose Superman. But we both I have to admit that his first appearance was too bad, so his impression points were deducted a lot."

"Master Bruce thinks it's a bad idea to allow a powerful individual like Superman to wander around uncontrollably." Alfred explained on behalf of Bruce, who had already left, "plus that day, a large part of the dead and injured Being a Wayne Enterprises employee made Master Bruce feel obligated to do something."

"Ha, typical Bruce, I'm not surprised at all." Jason muttered, trying to soothe his worries about this Bruce with the subtle differences between parallel universes.

"But we brought him kryptonite, and we have an effective way to deal with Superman, which should be enough to free him up to help us figure out how to get home?" Damian still looked a little unhappy, but Under the influence of sugar, he began to participate in the conversation again, "or he really doesn't have time, we can provide assistance in all aspects-business, or night order."

"Let's look at it again. I believe Master Bruce will figure it out. After all, he is a good man, but those fanaticism, anger and powerlessness have turned a good man into... hey." Alfred showed a tired look Smiling, but soon acting like nothing happened, he greeted Jason and Damian to the upstairs guest room to rest, and told them some funny things as he walked.

No one stopped to ask any questions as they walked past a set of Robin uniforms written in yellow spray paint.

Everyone thought that in a few days, when Bruce calmed down, they could discuss the matter of the parallel universe again, but from the beginning of the unhappy conversation, Bruce kept avoiding Jason and Damian, Even Alfred.

Jason waited patiently—even though his endurance was fading at a speed visible to the naked eye—he still meditated a lot to control his emotions, so much that he suspected that Damian was using him as a night light!

The wait ended the night Bruce returned in the convertible Batmobile.

Convertible, the convertible Batmobile whose roof was torn off abruptly.

Fortunately, this small change in the hood did not affect the operation of other recorders on the Batmobile, allowing Jason to clearly hear the person who removed the roof say: "Next time someone lights up your lights, don't show up. The bat is dead, bury him."

If it ends here, Jason may still sneer, and even install a Batlight in the Metropolis to kill the car dismantling man (who else can remove the roof of the Batmobile by force? Of course he can figure it out! ).

It's a pity that the person said one more sentence: "I will forgive you this time."

This is a new thing. When did the Bat family need to beg for mercy from anyone?This kind of thing cannot happen in any universe!

"Tell me," Batman's voice was deliberately hoarse by the voice changer, which sounded even weirder in the recording, "will you bleed?"

Jason cut off the recording violently, looked at his own reflection on the video screen: "You fucking will."