Stories of Immortals and Gods

Chapter 6: How to take postpartum care?

……

"Mammon!!!!!!!!! I'm going to kill you!!!!!!!!!!"

On the other side, Ling Tiancong's house.

"It's going on a date tomorrow, right? Remember to wear nice clothes when the time comes... You won't be able to wear the current one, and I'll take you to buy another set later. Is the route set? Do you understand your partner's interests? ...OK, then there is no problem. Ah, and..."

Ye Tanhua was a little ashamed.

He just casually asked 'What should I prepare for the date', but Tian Cong dragged him on for a long time like a worried old woman, telling him that he was going to be autistic.Ye Tanhua was stunned, he didn't expect you to be such Ling Tiansong!

"What are you thinking, silly boy?"

"Brother, don't do this, it looks scary."

Just looking at Ling Tiancong's benevolent eyes gave Ye Tanhua goosebumps all over his body, and adding this sentence, he was almost so scared that he would hiccup!

Hurry up, did you drink some fake milk!

"Hey, isn't it that I'm so happy to see that your four thousand-year-old cabbage finally has a pig willing to marry you?"

Ling Tiancong smiled, and flipped out the book from under the bed. On the cover was a picture of two naked men fighting, anyone with a discerning eye could tell what it was about.

The two gods with funny faces smiled at each other, and made a secret sign quietly.This is a book of light and shadow that Ling Tiancong found with great difficulty. Although it looks like a book, it is actually a player in the fairy world, which stores all kinds of strange ♂ strange ♂♂♂ videos, even the master can control it after reading it Can't live.

It is much more reliable than any enlightenment education book in the devil world!

Being able to lend such precious resources casually shows that the relationship between Ling Tiancong and Ye Tanhua is not so good.Ye Tanhua put the treasure away carefully, thanked Tiancong, and flew back to his Yuelao Temple to study it carefully.

Consciously doing a good deed, Ling Tiancong lay back on the bed contentedly and fell asleep.

"... Where's my baby?"

As for Ling Tianxiu waking up, he was horrified to find that the book was gone, which is a trivial afterthought.

17. The Hanging Gardens of Babylon (hanging gardens of Babylon), also known as the Hanging Garden, is one of the seven wonders of the ancient world.Although it is said that it was built by Nebuchadnezzar II (Nebuchadnezzar), the king of ancient Babylon, to please his queen (Metis, the princess of Medes), the mainstream view is that it is actually located 300 kilometers north of Babylon. Nineveh, miles away, was founded by Assyrian king Sennacherib.

But what is the truth, who in today's world really knows?

——No, there really is one.

"So, who built the Sky Garden?"

"Nebuchadnezzar (II), a bad old man who spent a lot of manpower and material resources in order to please his princess, I remember that there is a story similar to this in your country, it's called 'Fenghuo opera princes'" .Not only the Sky Garden, but also captured a large number of Jews to build the Tower of Babel and the Temple of Marduk for him, which is the famous "Babylonian Captivity" in history. Oh, anyway, neither side What a good bird, the most disgusting thing is that the bastard ordered to attack Tire, an important seaport and commercial center of Phoenicia while I was away, the old man is quite arrogant..."

Ye Tanhua finally found out that her boyfriend is actually very hot-tempered, and he basically opens his mouth to ridicule people other than himself, no wonder he is so unpopular.

But it is precisely because of these two completely different attitudes that Ye Tanhua's heart is sweet now, even Baalzebub's angry side face thinks it is not good-looking, and he is so happy that he can't wait to hold him and bite him.

And he did.

"Well... you, why are you so unreserved... well, wait a minute..."

……

Because the two were dating in the Baha'i Step Garden in Israel, they thought of that world-famous courtyard, and happened to have an insider by their side, so Ye Tanhua naturally asked the above question.A mere cross-country voyage, and all of them are in Asia, is not a problem for Baalishbub at all. It takes only ten minutes to go back and forth from the air in a straight line.

When they landed, Baalzebub didn't seem to care much on the surface, but his two beautiful red eyes were full of expectations.Ye Tanhua thought about it for a while, from flying speed and service attitude all the way to Baalzebub's appearance and figure, with a short confession of true feelings mixed in between.When it came to the end, both of them were embarrassed, so they exchanged a sweet kiss. At the end, they held hands and looked at the flowers here and the grass there, but they didn't dare to look into each other's eyes.

Like two innocent students who are still in high school.

But the actual age... Cough, it's better not to care about such details.

Facing the sparkling Mediterranean Sea, the Bahá'í Gardens are backed by the rolling hills of Mount Carmel. The whole is full of strong Persian style, but it also incorporates a variety of garden styles from other countries.Ye Tanhua even saw two bronze tripods in the garden of the cemetery with the inscription "Made in the Qianlong Year of the Qing Dynasty".

"...I didn't expect Israel to still be here."

Baalzebub sighed softly.The volume he used when he said this was extremely low, as if it would be dissipated in the wind, and he probably didn't expect anyone to hear it.

But Ye Tanhua heard it and understood what he meant.

The former Phoenician (Canaan) region was so prosperous that it was even once known as the "land flowing with milk and honey".But now, even the mighty Babylonian kingdom has been annihilated in the long river of history. How many people in this world can still remember the names of those ancient gods who were once respected by the Semites?

What would Baalzebub think?

After all, I will feel a little lonely.

Ye Tanhua was a little worried about his boyfriend's mental state, and before he could figure out how to comfort him, he heard Baalzebub muttering resentfully: "Tsk, why hasn't the country perished yet...".

"..."

Ye Tanhua remembered.

According to legend, inspired by God, Moses led the Hebrew people to migrate from Egypt to Canaan, and performed the miracle of opening the sea to successfully get rid of Pharaoh's pursuers.They expelled the natives of Canaan, and after several generations of reproduction, they successfully settled in this land, established their own country, and named it 'Israel'.

Later, in order to raise the status of King Solomon (Solomon) of Israel, Baalzebub began to suffer religious persecution—first, Baal, who was of the same origin as him, somehow became one of the 72 demon gods used by the king of magic, and then The name 'Baal-Zebul' was altered to become 'Beel-Zebub', which means "Lord of the Flies" in Hebrew.

To use an analogy, it’s as if there is a pair of twins, Xiao Cong and Xiao Jian, who are at the same table. They were living a good life, but one day a rich second generation suddenly came and broke up the two brothers, using Xiao Cong as a servant. He gave Xiaojian the nickname 'Fly' and asked the whole class to call him 'Fly' in order to isolate Xiaojian.

——It's strange that this relationship can be good! ! !

After thinking it over, Ye Tanhua didn't dare to let Baalzebub stay here for a long time.If the other party suddenly fell in love with the scene and blows up a certain famous scenic spot, then Ye Tanhua probably has only one way to go back to heaven.No, he is still immortal, and even this retreat has been ruthlessly cut off, there is no way out at all!

——I don't know how many times I felt the hostility towards him from the Heavenly Court, but Ye Tanhua actually felt that he was almost used to it.

This is really scary, okay _(:з」∠)_...

18. This is the story of Ye Tanhua and Baalzebub when they first met thousands of years ago.

Although he was full of gratitude to the person who saved him in his heart, at this time, Baalzebub hadn't completely abandoned his pride as a god, and sometimes he seemed to be duplicity-that is to say, he was still a proud boy.

"Baal, what do you want to eat today?"

"Hmph, whatever."

"Oh, then just cook a bowl of wontons and add a cherry pirogue for dessert. How about sour plum soup for drinks? Drinking a glass of ice in this hot summer should feel very refreshing."

"..."

Baalzebub did not speak, but his Adam's apple rolled twice in disappointment.

He went outside for a stroll, bought some small gifts for Ye Tanhua by exchanging the animals he hunted for some money, and pretended to pass by the back kitchen of their residence, and looked inside.

Half an hour later, Ye Tanhua hadn't come out yet, so he detoured to the kitchen to pour a glass of water, and stared at the cooking pot eagerly.

"Not yet?"

Ye Tanhua raised his hand to cover his mouth, covering the inadvertent smile on his lips.

"It's ready a long time ago, it's just a little cold. Come on, eat it while the temperature is just right."

"Oh."

Before he realized that he had been tricked, the future gluttonous demon king ate a mouthful of wontons indifferently. His expression remained unchanged, but he ate the second and third one after another at an astonishing speed. In less than a minute, he ate the wonton. I killed the whole bowl of wontons, not even the soup base.

"Hmph, the taste is so-so."

I didn't expect such delicious food to exist in the world.

"It's great that you like it."

"Who, who likes it, don't put gold on your face!"

And now—

"Today is a rare and confident work—three non-stick, that is, non-stick plates, non-stick chopsticks, and non-stick teeth. Come and try it out."

"Not bad, the color is golden, the egg is tender and sandy sweet, soft and fragrant, thick and sweet but not greasy, it is really top grade."

"Wow, amazing, when did your Chinese become so good?"

"Because it's your mother tongue, we can't get closer if we speak the same language as you. This is also my biggest motivation for learning Chinese."

"...Then should I also take the time to learn Canaanite, Hebrew and Babylonian? The cuneiform script that you all used at that time seems quite difficult to learn."

"No need, it's become a dead language now. If no one uses it, it's meaningless even if you learn it. It's better to draw more cards."

"Hey, I'm quitting games recently, don't keep tempting me."

"—Can I ask the reason, don't you like playing games the most? If you don't have enough money, you can ask me for it, don't force yourself."

"No, I just want to save time to be with you. If we have time to play games, we can get up early to watch the sunrise, fly over the clouds to count the stars at night, visit your favorite dessert shop, or It’s okay to go out for a trip once in a while. When you get tired of doing these things, there are still many other things that you can do together. We have a long life span and cannot grow old together with each other, but we can spend this boring time together. Time, isn’t it good too?”

"...Well, it's just that you made a mistake."

"Hey, where?"

Baalsib hugged Ye Tanhua, and whispered his answer in his lover's ear: "Every minute and every second of the time with you is meaningful, and it is not boring at all."

Looking back at the past and looking at the present, the so-called time is always quietly changing something when we don't know it.

From their point of view, turning a prickly red-haired boy into an obedient and considerate perfect lover may only take a moment.

The peach blossoms are in full bloom this season, and a few tender pink petals were accidentally blown off by the spring breeze, and they stopped at a corner of the mandarin duck tree, covering the names of the two people entangled by the red thread.

As described in the poem——

"Recipe, Shining."

19. Devil chat group.

Samuel: So does anyone know the identity of Beelzebub's lover?If I don't know the answer to this question, I'm going to explode.

Lucifer: Generally speaking, aren’t you depressed to death? What kind of operation is it that you are so angry that you explode? Are you a balloon?

Leviathan: I heard that he is the god of matchmaking in charge of marriage in the east. I don’t know the difference between him and the god of love. Anyway, I’m not jealous anymore...

Samuel: How do you know, are you kidding me?That's Eros, Eros!Think about Inanna, who knew how to burn, kill and loot all day long in Mesopotamia, and Anat, the brutal and brutal brother-controlled goddess of war in Canaan, and Aphrodite in Greece. ) and Freya from Northern Europe are too slutty, I don’t bother to talk about them, Hathor in Egypt seems to have a dark history, and Kama in India has been burnt to ashes, it’s miserable, Kay Aengus in Walter, Slavs, and America are so transparent that I don’t have a good impression. I haven’t been to Huaguo, so I don’t know very well... Against this terrible background, Beelzebub actually dared to find An Eros coming home? ? ?

Leviathan: Didn't Mammon mail a box of fake books to Beelzebub last time, but when he turned around, he pressed him on the ground and rubbed him. During the fight, he accidentally revealed some news, which should be true.

Mammon: ...Didn't it be said to keep it a secret?smile.jpg

Beelzebub: Don't talk nonsense, Huahua is super good, she is not the same as other love gods at all!

Samuel: Don't look at people with a filter, sober up!

(User 'Beelzebub' was banned for one hour due to his aggressive remarks)

Samuel: Why was he banned again?

Bellier: mdzz

Baalzebub was going to die of anger!How could Samael say that about his boyfriend!Ye Tanhua is so handsome, so considerate, and so cute, can he be the same as those cruel gods of love?Besides, he is not a god of love but a god of matchmaking. Even though he is often misunderstood by people because of his fame, facts are facts and cannot be questioned by others.

Although, although Inanna is indeed a crazy woman spoiled by her father Anu to the point of lawlessness, Baal's sister Anat is indeed a savage brother who can chop up her second brother and feed the birds, just thinking about it makes Baal Lixib's whole body couldn't stop trembling... However, just looking at Xiao Yuelao beside him who was chewing potato chips while drinking Coke and watching a movie leisurely, his mood immediately calmed down.

"Huahua, what are you looking at?"

"Ultraman Orb: The Beginning of the Primordial, you're here."

"is it?"

Baalzebub was a little curious, and glanced at the screen. At this moment, a particularly ugly black monster appeared on the screen.He frowned, but Ye Tanhua pointed at it and said, "Look, it's also called 'Bezelb'."

"???"

Is he already such an image in the minds of mankind?

Ye Tanhua took a peek at his wonderful palette-like complexion from blue to purple to black, and couldn't help laughing.

Well, now there is only red left on his face.

……

On the other side, Ling Tiancong was holding a menu in one hand and a spoon in the other, carefully stirring the unknown liquid in the pot.

After all, one of his old friends is obsessed with love, and recently quit playing games.Without a cook, Ling Tiancong could only make enough food and clothing by himself, and learn to cook from scratch.After some investigation, he felt that the soup should be relatively simple to make, so he simply bought the ingredients and reference books and planned to learn how to make it now.

"Honey, are you sure you really want to drink this potion that seems to be concocted by a medieval witch..."

'Although the color is a bit weird, the taste should be okay...you see. '

Ling Tiancong scratched the bottom of the pot twice, and a fish head was filled out.The two eyeballs of the fish head were still sparkling, and seemed to be full of silent accusations, but at the moment the Tiansong was filled, they rolled into the bottom of the pot one after another, and the visual effect was particularly penetrating.

'Do you really want to drink? ! ! ! '

'...'

Although the other party didn't speak, Ling Tianxiu could clearly feel Ling Tiancong's frightened emotion.He was silent for a while, gave himself enough psychological training, and said tremblingly: "I'll drink later."

This must be the legendary true love!

Ling Tiancong hesitated, picked up the spoon and took a sip.

"!!!!!!"

"!!!!!!"

Unexpectedly, unexpectedly - it tastes like normal food! ! !

The European Emperor's halo is awesome! ! !

20. "Hey, isn't this combination too scary!"

"what happened?"

On an autumn afternoon, the sun shines through the skylight into the archive room of the Monster Office, rendering everything a bright golden yellow.Two clerks who used computers to sort out mission reports secretly touched the fish and started today's small talk.

"Look, this group called 'Double Happiness' used to basically only accept B-level and C-level tasks, right? They rarely even do A-level tasks. But recently, they even completed S-level tasks. Several, although they are all multi-group cooperation tasks, the speed at which their strength grows is a bit too amazing."

"Don't you know? Their group recently added a new member, who seems to be a big shot from the devil world. I heard that he is still at the 'SSS' level. Little people like us can't even find his name!"

"Really, then this combination should be awesome... But this Ling Tiancong's ability is to control the probability. He saved the leader by accident in the hospital before. It seems that they can get to this point. Within reason."

"Anyway, it has nothing to do with us~ Why don't you think about what to eat at night."

"Yeah, what do you think of chicken chops..."

……

Mid-Autumn Festival, reunion night.

Ling Tiancong (Ling Tianjian), Ye Tanhua and Baalxibu sat on the Yuelao Temple, eating moon cakes, bathed in the bright and clear brilliance of the lunar star, and they were having a very pleasant time.

Although the villas in Baalxibub are not bad, Yuetanhua's Yuelao Temple is built in the mountains, with a very good view, accompanied by the faint chirping of insects, even the moon seems to be a little bigger for no reason.

Beautiful like a dream back to ancient times.

"The moon is so round."

'There are many stars~'

"Bugs are so annoying..."

“Mooncakes are delicious!”

——It's a pity that these four people are not suitable for such a literary and romantic atmosphere.

"Huahua, look!"

Baalsibu swallowed the snowy mooncake in his mouth, put his arms around Ye Tanhua's shoulders, and pointed to a field of flowers in the distance.

Looking in the direction of his fingertips, there are Ye Epiphyllum silently blooming there.

This big round flower with the same name as Ye Tanhua, with its stunning appearance and poignant legend, deeply moved sentimental people, and was crowned with various beautiful names, such as Qionghua, beauty under the moon, and Tanya. Hua... And now, watching her white petals quietly stretch out under the moonlight, she seems to be able to smell the elegant and elegant fragrance when her nose flutters, the ultimate experience brought by this sensory feast is instant She amazed her only four audiences and won her due praise and amazement.

"It's so beautiful, it's worthy of being called the 'beauty under the moon'."

'Well, this ethereal and elegant temperament just matches her name. '

"No, you (you) are so educated, I just want to come up with a 'fuck'..."

"It's okay, you look good when you are poor at words."

"...I'll take it as a compliment."

Ye Tanhua's waist-length black hair fluttered back and forth in the night sky, and the red auspicious clouds woven on the white Hanfu looked a bit festive. Against the clean and bright smile in his dark jade pupils, he got rid of his usual injustice. It is rare to show the nobility of a fairy in the secular appearance of classics.

Baalxibub looked at Xiao Yuelao who was more charming under the night light, and couldn't take his gaze away at all.

Baalzebub also wanted to dress up, but he didn't like the fancy clothes he wore when he was the prime minister in hell, and the clothes he wore when he was a god were too revealing, so he just changed his usual clothes The exquisite red and white evening dress that is not often worn is the same color as Ye Tanhua.The innocent Lord Demon King occasionally glanced at the two's clothes from the corner of his eye, and would secretly be happy for a long time in his heart.

This overly simple and undisguised pure love is as quiet and beautiful as the young first love spliced ​​together with two desk corners in the student days.

Or, maybe it's the unknown youth of two old men pretending to be young.

Ling Tiancong, who was clearly the youngest but had been in love for the longest time, watched them with satisfaction, and sipped his tea gracefully like an old man whose children had finally grown up. The whole picture was full of flaws.

"Bam—"

On the dark sky soaked in the night, colorful flowers that can only bloom for a moment bloom.

"Wow, there are fireworks."

'Well, it's beautiful. '

'Tianjian, actually there is something I've always wanted to tell you. '

'what? '

'Nice to have you.Please continue to be by my side in the days to come. '

"Okay, it's a bit uncomfortable not to have sex, when can I go back..."

'Who knows, in your terms it's probably—'

"Trash heaven, take jujube pills."

As soon as the voice fell, a thick bolt of lightning struck in the air, igniting a large number of fireworks piled up in the distance, and the crackling and rising colorful flames completely covered the sky, painting it with a layer of gorgeous and dreamy colors.Since it is the divine thunder of heaven, it should not cause casualties...

Just in case, I'll check it out later.

But now-

Ling Tiansong just laughed loudly with Ling Tianjiu in this quiet countryside.

I still remember these two sentences written in the book he opened casually in the morning: "It is advisable to drink wine and grow old together. The piano is in the palace, so it is better to be quiet."

This is probably the feeling of the old man.

End

The author has something to say: My name is as casual as ever.

In Greek mythology, there was a man named Narcissus who was so narcissistic that he fell in love with his own reflection in the water and became a daffodil after death.

The aliases of daffodils are Tiancong (Tiancong), Tiansuan (Tianjiu) and 'Ling' Bo Fairy.

For Yuelao, at the beginning, he wanted to give his name a homonym of 'yuelao', but there are too many duplicate names.Before I write an article, I will first Baidu the name of the character in my pen, isn’t it crazy? 23333

Finally, Epiphyllum has always had the beautiful nickname of "Beauty under the Moon", and the love story about her (in the text, Epiphyllum is also called "she", I used the personification on purpose, not wrong) and Wei Tuo is also very touching, So Xiaoyuelao's name was finally decided to be 'Ye Tanhua (Ye Tanhua)'.

Baalzebub... His name was Baalzebub.As for whether he and Baal—originally the god of storm, thunder, sun, and farming in Canaan mythology, and later changed to the first demon god of thunder among Solomon's 72 pillars of demon gods—are they the same god? I'll check. I didn't go into details in the materials, so I made their second creation into "two people who have the same origin but are not the same".

"It is advisable to drink wine and grow old together. The qin and se are in the court, so it is good to be quiet." From "Guofeng·Zhengfeng·Nvyue Crowing of Chicken", "Peach is young, burning its flowers" from "Book of Songs·Zhou Nan· Tao Yao".

I did a little popularization of Ba Lixib, and most of the content comes from Baidu Encyclopedia. He is my own son who has been searching for information for two days.The setting of Yuelao and God of Fortune was made up by me. Originally, there should be only one God of Fortune, Yuelao, and Broom Star, but I just turned it into an assembly line god 23333.

And when I checked the information, I found out that stalls were not allowed on the main roads of the Tang Dynasty, and the TV series misled people.

In the chat group of the Demon Realm, Samael’s complaints about the God of Cupid are what I want to talk about. The God of Cupid in various mythological systems is really scary, too scary.

I originally wanted to write a short pseudo self-tackling and self-receiving article, but halfway through the writing, Yue Lao and Ghost King suddenly had their brains, so I simply combined them into one.

In this way, I have written about main subject, main attack, mutual attack, (in one body) self-attack and self-acceptance, and attack and subject without knowing. I want to boast about myself!Wow! ! !

PS: Crazy exploration on the verge of being locked.