[HP] Can you be gentle with me

"That was the first mistake I made."

No.

Snape wanted to say that, but he remembered Tahlia's order to listen to...

So he didn't say anything, just sat quietly and just listened...

"You know what happened next, Severus." Sure enough, Tahlia continued speaking, her tone still flat. "I tried everything possible to keep you from getting close to Voldemort, you remember? At school, whenever I ran into you, I would always tell you that..." She paused, and if it wasn't because she couldn't see now, Snape would almost One would think that she stopped because she almost couldn't hold back the rebuttal, but she didn't. "Honestly, if our positions were reversed, I would definitely think that I was duplicity like you did at the beginning. Honestly, how could you not think so? Who would not? I seemed to have everything back then. , Voldemort thinks highly of me, the people in the school fear me, and I didn't even put in any special effort to get them, what's more, I even hold these powers and put them in front of you every day, while talking about me a little I don't want to either, these are all illusions, I want you to stay away from them—" She smiled wryly. "You said, in that case, who would listen to me?"

Tahlia paused for a moment, as if organizing what to say next, Snape took advantage of the brief pause to swallow his saliva, and Tahlia continued after a while. "That's the second mistake." She closed her eyes. "conceited."

"Still, even though I know my mistake now, I didn't know it then." Tahlia chuckled. "At the moment, I just feel frustrated, wondering why you don't listen to me, wondering if I mean nothing to you, even after I sacrificed so much, you still don't want to see me—" She paused for a few seconds. "This mentality lasted until we graduated, and I still tried my best to prevent you from saving you. Anyway, I thought I was doing the right thing." After saying this, Tahlia suddenly fell silent and lowered her head.

Snape suppressed the urge to raise his hand to tap Tahlia's shoulder, maintained the same position, and sat quietly, waiting for the woman in front of him to speak again.

For some unknown reason, although these words sounded reasonable, they couldn't come out of Tahlia's mouth.It is clear that I am wrong... It is clear that I am too selfish──

"What happened that night hit me so hard because I thought I was doing the right thing."

Snape took a sharp breath and stared straight at the woman who said this, and her expression seemed to be struggling for a long time before speaking.

They finally talked about it, face to face.

"Can you understand how I feel?" Tahlia said softly. "I've always had you in my heart, Seveurs... I never really expected you to be nice to me, but I never thought you would—"

"I—"

"You should be surprised that I'm still alive..." Tahlia closed her eyes, and a soft sentence shut Snape, who had almost blurted out again. "I almost thought I was going to die...no, I should say I was—" She paused for a moment. "You should also know, right? The me in the past is... dead."

Snape held back the countless things he wanted to say in his mind, but he didn't speak at this moment.

In a sense, what Tahlia said is not wrong, she is indeed gone in the past, or they are all like that, she is no longer the naive girl who thought that a relationship can be maintained as long as one party pays, and he finally realized that Recognize how deeply what you have done in the past has hurt a person.

They just all... grew up.

"I told myself to stop fantasizing, I shouldn't do it anyway, I want to forget, but I can't forget, all kinds of contradictions haunt me all night, I can't sleep peacefully again, I never Clearly feel how easy it is to drive a person crazy..."

"Tahlia—"

"I think I'm really crazy too." Tahlia took a deep breath and put on a smile. "Obviously I have been telling myself that I can no longer trust you, but my emotions are always affected by you..." She paused for a while. "Why? Severus...is there really anyone in the world who does this? If so, he must be a lunatic—"

"I don't care if he's crazy or not."

Tahlia shut her mouth abruptly, her eyes stared at a certain point in the air as if out of focus, and after a while, she was still unable to make a sound because of Snape's sudden words.

He said he didn't care...

She clearly asked him not to say anything—she just wanted to spit out all the words in her heart first, and then...

And she hadn't really planned on it yet.

She just thought that if she could tell everything, to Snape, it might help her make up her mind.

She hadn't forgotten how much harm she had suffered along the way, and she felt that she would never forget it in the future, but recently there was always a voice in her heart reminding her of Snape's changes in recent years...

He's really... really changed.

"It should be said, even if he—even if you're crazy, so what?" Snape's voice reached his ears again. "I still won't change my mind, Tahlia, isn't that what you've been worried about? It's not that you don't believe I'm going to fall in love with you, you're just worried that I might turn around and leave again someday in the future—"

Tahlia froze for a moment, her mouth was tightly shut, as if she had suddenly forgotten that she was still talking, and even asked Snape not to say anything...

"But I won't." Seeing that Tahlia wasn't trying to contradict his reaction, Snape continued. "I swear to Merlin, I won't." He paused for a few seconds. "If you don't believe me, I'm even willing to make an unbreakable—"

"Unbreakable spell?" Tahlia raised her head abruptly, staring at Snape's direction with wide eyes. "You are talking about... which is unbreakable──"

Snape gave a chuckle. "I'd be happy for you to share with me where there is a second unbreakable spell in this world."

Tahlia's mouth opened unconsciously, unable to close it for a long time.

She heard right... right?

Snape would have sworn - she'd never thought of asking him to do it, yes, Snape was right, she was afraid - but even so, she never thought of it.

"I can't compel anyone to take that kind of oath knowingly against their will, Severus—"

"Oh? So you think it's against my will?" Snape raised an eyebrow before continuing. "Considering what you said earlier, you don't speculate on other people's thoughts without authorization, it seems that you can't help but commit this little problem, don't you?"

Tahlia shuts her mouth, but then speaks again. "Is not it?"

"Of course not." Snape said slowly. "You should have asked me yourself instead of just looking for that wolf—"

"He has a name, Severus."

"Lupin." Snape squeezed the word between his teeth. "You should have asked me yourself instead of just trying to complain to Lupine." He paused for a moment, then continued before Tahlia could speak. "I can tell you with certainty that you don't need to worry about anything, I love you."

"Severus—"

"And I intend to continue to do so for the rest of my life."

Tahlia lowered her head slightly, but if one looked closely, one would find that her whole body was trembling slightly, as if she was trying her best to suppress some emotions in her heart.

"You did something to me, Tahlia, you think you trampled on my pride, or you don't understand me," Snape said softly. "When I was a student, I did spend all my time chasing your footsteps and setting you up as an imaginary enemy, but you didn't do anything wrong, you just cared about me, and you had to force yourself to do something that violated the law in order to protect my safety. What you mean." He raised the corner of his mouth slightly. "It's never a mistake to love someone. I know that what you want to save is my life, so how can I blame you for this?"

"I—"

"But if you must think so, before you speak, let me say one last thing." Snape breathed a sigh of relief, reaching out to grasp the palm of the woman in front of him. "Anyway, I forgive you."

This time, Tahlia opened her mouth, but she couldn't say anything.

What else should she say?

With Snape's words, whatever mistake she had just claimed she'd made didn't seem to be a problem, because he forgave…

Is this a sentence that can be said so easily?

She knew it wouldn't be easy, otherwise she wouldn't have been unable to do it to this day, but Snape just... let the words come out so naturally.

"Don't you...have never resented...me?" After a while, Tahlia asked softly.

"I can't say no, Tahlia," Snape said. "Perhaps I was really angry at the time, and I did get hurt because of it, but I am still standing here now. If I have any new understandings in the past few years, it is that instead of entangled in the past, it is better to look to the future..." He squeezed Tahlia's hand a little tighter. "That's you, Tahlia."

Tahlia was completely stunned.

She blinked constantly, as if to make sure that what Snape had just said to her was hallucination, and when she finally digested the words completely, she was even more at a loss.

After an unknown amount of time, Snape took a deep breath and spoke again. "Then, it's my turn—"

"I—"

"Tahlia." Snape said only one word, and Tahlia fell silent. "You look at my memory, you know almost everything about my past... and there's really only one thing I want to say." He took another deep breath. "I know that we will discuss this topic eventually, in fact, you have already brought it up just now..."

Tahlia didn't speak, but Snape could easily tell just how stiff she was right now from the way he held Tahlia's hand.

"I'm the one who hurt you so badly, and I don't regret it every day. I hate myself for not caring about you at that time, and I hate that I didn't face up to my heart at that time──"

"Severus..."

"Hate me even more for not being able to make up for you."

Tahlia shuddered. "I didn't ask you to—"

"I understand that you didn't ask me to make amends, but I have to." Snape said slowly. "The wounds I tore many years ago can only be repaired by me." He paused for a moment. "I'm the complete bastard. I've abandoned everything you've paid for. Passively ignoring is enough to hurt people, but I'm actually actively hurting..."

That's right, active damage.

This is the knot between the two of them that will never seem to be untied.No matter what others say, and whether they know it or not, this matter can only be resolved by themselves in the end.

"There's always been one thing I wanted to tell you," Snape said. "No, maybe I should say, I just wanted to ask you something..."

"What..." Tahlia's voice was as thin as a mosquito, almost inaudible.

"I hurt you." Snape's voice sounded strangely calm at this moment. "I have to apologize to you. I shouldn't have treated you like that. No matter what my reasons were for not doing it. Blaming potions or anything else doesn't help. I was just... wrong."

Tahlia's body was still tense, though she could guess what Snape was going to say next.

"Can you... forgive me?"

She was right...

It should be said that she has been thinking about the answer to this question for a long time... But until now, she is still not sure what answer she will have. Whenever she seems to make a decision, the other party's voice It will pull her back to the center point again, and she is actually a little scared now.

Afraid that after Snape asked that question, she would say an answer she regretted.

"I……"

Can she... forgive?

Tahlia closed her eyes. For a moment, all her senses seemed to be disabled. The only thing she could feel was the temperature in her palm.

It wasn't until this moment that she realized that Snape had pulled her back at some point, and the warmth from him suddenly rushed straight into her heart.

Forgive...?

He won't... hurt her again.

That's right... Didn't she already know it?Long before the Dark Lord failed—

Tahlia opened her eyes.

The senses returned to her body, but the temperature from their touching palms did not fade at all, still making her whole body as if bathed in the winter sun, warm, but not scorching.

forgive……

"I forgive you."