special stargazing

Sheng Yexing was silent and didn't know what to say.

He held back the urge to sigh, and patted Lu Jianxing.

Afraid of stimulating some bad memories, Sheng Yexing, who had empathized with him before, tried his best to speak softly, "Lu Jianxing, can you let go?"

Lu Jianxing froze for a few seconds and replied, "Yes."

A few minutes later, Sheng Yexing was really strangled, he didn't know where the little autistic got so much strength, and asked again: "Can you let go?"

There was no emotion in Lu Jianxing's tone: "No."

Thinking of Teacher Tang Han's occasional conversations with the children in the next class, Sheng Yexing asked in a persuasive way: "Can we let go or not?"

Lu Jianxing said, "Yes."

Sheng Yexing felt a headache, and his palm was about to be swollen by himself, so he changed the order and continued to ask: "Can I let go or can I let go?"

Lu Jianxing thought for a while, "No."

Not half an hour later, under a slightly awkward atmosphere, Lu Jianxing finally let go of his hand obediently.

Sheng Yexing also understood that Lu Jianxing had mastered the skill of opening watermelons online for a long time.

Then, the skill of acting coquettishly and relying on silent protest is also at its peak——

I can't even fucking resist myself.

I have to emphasize to the teacher again that I want to teach Lu Jianxing how to defend himself, I really can't do it casually...

But it seems that this time, when Lu Jianxing went down the road, he directly greeted the opponent's cheap hand.

It's okay, there is progress.

Sheng Yexing thought about it, opened the office door, glanced at Tang Han who was guarding the door, and said, "He's fine."

"I know you don't like meddling in other people's business," Tang Han felt guilty, "but this time I really trouble you..."

"It's okay," Sheng Yexing whistled and smiled at the teacher, "I'm going back to the classroom."

Before leaving, Tang Han glanced at Lu Jianxing who was following Sheng Yexing, "You can really comfort him."

It is not certain who appeases whom.

Sheng Yexing didn't say this, but turned up the collar of his school uniform, put his hands in his pockets, and left with the slip.

Lu Jianxing, who was standing in place, did not move, and he still hadn't recovered.

He has always hated touching, and the emotion he expressed the most since he was a child is "don't touch me".

He likes to wear hooded clothes because there must be something "loaded" on the upper back to make him feel comfortable. Any other shape or texture that makes him feel uncomfortable will make him irritable. bored.

Now, Lu Jianxing found that he seemed to like to use the sense of touch to perceive the existence of a small number of people.

The abnormality of auditory perception makes Lu Jianxing unable to bear any redundant words, and does not like sudden "provocations".

These are stimuli that he can't bear physiologically——

Fighting is also a reaction brought about by conditioned reflex.

He is used to most people's careful touch, approaching with kindness or malice, but this is the first time that Sheng Yexing clearly wants to draw a line with him.

Because sympathy is also a kind of injury.

Sheng Yexing understands, and Lu Jianxing also knows, so keep a distance.

But the feeling of embracing others is warm and satisfying.

See you on the road!

What are you thinking.

He shook his head, trying to get rid of all the inexplicable thoughts in his head.Lu Jianxing understands that he is destined to be unable to perceive some things like ordinary people in this life.

Back in class, Lu Jianxing found that Sheng Yexing was no longer there.I have never paid attention to the existence of a certain person, this kind of cognition makes Lu Jianxing feel a little strange.

The classroom is not big, but it accommodates nearly thirty students, each with their own way of sickness.

The "pitiful" things in Lu Jianxing seem to be so rare and ordinary among them.Nobody cares too much.

Lu Jianxing didn't really care what these students were discussing.

In short, in a special school, you still have to rely on yourself for everything.

They were gathering at Gu Qunshan's table, listening to the know-it-all talk.

"I also checked the situation specifically,"

Gu Qunshan's voice was neither too loud nor too small, without derogatory meaning, "How should I put it, for example, if I am an autistic patient, if you stand in front of me and talk to me, your voice will be automatically reduced by 70.00%, my head Like being in a closed container. I might not even be able to understand your words, and I might not be able to pay attention to your existence. I might be more interested in your clothes. I also can't accept other people's touch, and I will long Repeated stereotyped actions, such as playing with bottle caps for hours on end..."

Lu Jianxing entered through the back door and sat back in his seat without saying a word.

Gu Qunshan's words have already been automatically filtered by him...

Now all he has in his eyes is the unfinished pencil sharpener on the table.

Perhaps his "violence" at the door of the office spread throughout the class. Some girls shrank back nervously when they saw him holding a knife.

Someone whispered: "Lu Jianxing took the knife."

Lu Jianxing sighed inwardly, I didn't cut you with the knife.

I sharpen 2b... pencils.

"Autism is the third leading developmental disorder in the United States. About four to five children in every [-] are autistic."

Gu Qunshan covered his face with a book, and whispered the last few words, "So it's not unusual for Lu Jianxing to be like this..."

When the class bell rang, someone had already noticed that Lu Jianxing had returned.

When they saw the knife in his hand, they subconsciously stepped back a little. Although they couldn't dodge like snakes and scorpions, this movement still made Lu Jianxing froze for a moment.

"Let's not discuss it..." someone said.

"Thank you." Lu Jianxing, who had never spoken, suddenly said, with a very calm tone, "No, discuss."

"Hey, Lu Jianxing is back." Gu Qunshan turned his head to look over.

The little autistic actually spoke!

He didn't want to offend Lu Jianxing, and what he said just now was for his classmates, and he didn't want to see anyone bullying him again.

Besides, Gu Qunshan played golf with Sheng Yexing for so many years, and he has a certain friendship with Sheng Yexing. The boss said that he would not mess with this person if he couldn't provoke him, and he was not stupid enough to make trouble for himself.

Gu Qunshan scratched his head, feeling that he had done something wrong, and said seriously, "I'm sorry."

After coming to the class for so many days, there are classmates who have any attitude towards him, but Gu Qunshan is the first to apologize.

Lu Jianxing's attitude softened a bit, he blinked his eyes, thinking "um" but couldn't say "um", the words stuck in his throat, so he nodded.

"My name is Gu Qunshan, and I have the same ADHD as Li Dingxi. I shared a dorm with you before." Gu Qunshan pointed to his deskmate, "His name is Lin Ting, and he is deaf." He pointed to his ears.

Feeling the pull, Lin Ting turned his head slowly, the hearing aids on his ears looked very heavy.

He gave Lu Jianxing a friendly smile, knocked on the table, and said loudly: "Hello!"

Lin Ting is a child who is deaf the day after tomorrow. His hearing is all done by the cochlear implant, so the volume of his speech naturally becomes louder uncontrollably.

Lu Jianxing could hear clearly, seeing his confident and friendly appearance, the corners of his tightly pursed lips gradually relaxed, and he tried to open his mouth to call out: "Listen, Lin."

Lin laughed again, pointed to the blackboard, and turned around.

He didn't seem to hear Lu Jianxing calling him.

Sheng Yexing, who had just kicked a basketball into the classroom, happened to see this scene.

He kicked the basketball to the corner of the class as usual, and was about to sit when he got out of the stool, feeling a little uncomfortable all of a sudden.

Why did you call Shanglin to listen...

Hold.

After coming to school for so many days, Lu Jianxing hasn't called his name yet.

Not satisfied.

He was about to sit down when Teacher Ji Chuan tapped on the podium with a pointer, "Sheng Ye Xing!"

"Yes." Sheng Yexing tore off his sweaty neckline and replied lazily.

Ji Chuan saw that this brat was only wearing a thin sweater in the cold winter months, and wondered where his skin had gone, so he said helplessly, "Where's your school uniform?"

Sheng Yexing was silent for a few seconds, and said, "It's for the junior girls."

As soon as he finished speaking, Lu Jianxing's hand holding the pen trembled unconsciously.

Ji Chuan asked curiously, "Why?"

Sheng Yexing waved his hand and pointed out the corridor, "Let's finish class."

With his posture, Ji Chuan couldn't tell who was the teacher for a moment.Ji Chuan had no choice but to call the students to continue the class.

Seeing that Mr. Ji Chuan turned his head to write a mathematical formula, Sheng Yexing was a cheap hand, and seeing the childish "[-]th line" drawn by his brain congestion before, he felt a little embarrassed.

With a movement of his elbow, he knocked his eraser down on Lu Jianxing's side and coughed.

Lu Jianxing is slow to people, but very sensitive to objects, glanced at the eraser, raised his head and asked with his eyes: yours?

"Well, you give way, I'll pick it up." Sheng Yexing said.

Lu Jianxing retreated a little, Sheng Yexing bent down, thinking about how to talk to Lu Jianxing after raising his head, when suddenly there was a sharp pain in the back of his head.

Sheng Yexing tried his best to hold back his muffled groans, his eyes staring at the pain.

After relieving the pain for a while, he raised his head puzzledly, but his waist was still bent. As soon as his eyes went up, he looked at Lu Jianxing from a very low angle——

He didn't expect that the small autistic facial contours could be seen so well from the angle of death below.

Looking down again, the collar of the little self-closing is also open, and he is wearing a light gray woolen sweater inside.

The buttons on the neckline are all crookedly buttoned, and the collarbone exposed to the air looks good.

It’s over.

What am I thinking?

Sheng Yexing stood up pretending to be calm, rubbed the back of his head, before he could speak, Lu Jianxing began to explain with difficulty: "Accidentally..."

He pointed to the table top and then to the table legs, "Sorry."

The little autistic actually said it in two breaths!five!indivual!Character!

Turning his eyes back to the table, Sheng Yexing thought that this should be the weak perception of space distance that Gu Qunshan said.

Lu Jianxing often misjudged the distance, so he was easy to lose and collide with objects. It was common for him to bump into doors and walls. He probably accidentally touched the table when he was bending over to pick up an eraser.

Will Sheng Yexing be made a fool by me?

Lu Jianxing thought to himself.

Sheng Yexing shook his head and said, "It's okay, it doesn't hurt."

Teacher Ji Chuan glanced this way, Sheng Yexing immediately sat up straight, pretending to be okay, and raised his chin towards the teacher.

Then, at the risk of being opened, he tapped Lu Jianxing's stool leg with his toe.

Lu Jianxing turned his head puzzled.

What does he want to do...

"I heard that your grades are very good, can you teach me to read a few words?" Sheng Yexing opened the draft book, grabbed a pen to write on it, pushed the book over, and pointed, "This."

Looking down at the draft, Lu Jianxing pursed his lips, "Sheng."

"What about this." Sheng Yexing wrote again.

"night."

"this."

Lu Jianxing hesitated for a while, then said, "Okay."

Sheng Yexing was refreshed, and started to turn the pen with his right hand, with a half-smile, "Connect it."

"Cheng Yehang..." Lu Jianxing finished subconsciously, but the back of his hand was suddenly pinched by Sheng Yexing.

Sheng Yexing's face was as black as the bottom of a pot: "No."

After waiting for nearly 5 minutes, Lu Jianxing struggled to change his words, "Sheng, Ye, OK."

It became.

Seeing his suddenly relaxed expression, Lu Jianxing seemed to perceive some purpose, the corners of his mouth raised, he couldn't hold back a smile, and then continued to bow his head to do his homework, his breathing became messed up.

What to pretend, who doesn't know what you are thinking.

He was too lazy to expose Sheng Yexing's small thoughts, but for some reason, Sheng Yexing gave him a very strong sense of oppression, and his own silence always made Sheng Yexing not want to get close...

But as soon as two people meet, they always seem to be connected by silk threads, and they can feel each other's existence at all times.

Lu Jianxing looked at the back of Sheng Yexing's head, took a gel pen and drew a small Q-version pill pattern on his palm, squeezed it tightly, and continued to do his homework.

Seeing that the little autistic was studying seriously, Sheng Yexing didn't bother him. He lay on his stomach until the bell rang for the end of get out of class, and ran to the corner of the corridor to light a cigarette. He happened to meet Teacher Ji Chuan who came to smoke.

"Where's your school uniform?" Ji Chuan threw a ball at him.

Sheng Yexing took the explosive beads and stuffed them into the pocket of his school uniform, and lit up the national cigarette he had touched, and let out a sigh, "I told you, I'll give it to the school girl."

Hearing this, Ji Chuan stared so hard that his eyes almost fell out: "School girl? The school forbids early..."

"We were playing on the playground, and a primary school girl who was watching the game suddenly had blood on her butt." Sheng Yexing took a puff of cigarette, "I took off my coat and wrapped it around her, nothing else."

"Great job," Ji Chuan imitated Tang Chunhan's tone to encourage him, and seeing whether Sheng Yexing smoked the cigarettes he gave him, he rubbed his chin and laughed, "Now boys like to smoke hard?"

"What little boy? I'm an adult, Brother Chuan." Sheng Yexing took the last sip, and rolled up the cuffs of his school uniform. "Also, I heard that girls only smoke this kind of cigarettes."

Ji Chuan burst the coffee with a bite, and made a "cluck" in his mouth, "Oh, there are a lot of reasons. How did you hear it?"

Sheng Yexing smiled and grabbed the butt of the cigarette, "I said so."

"Hey... you've been following a group of small followers all day long, why don't you get along with the group? Boys, get involved in the group more, don't just go over the wall and disappear every day besides messing with your motorcycle."

Ji Chuan didn't know how to educate problem students anymore, "Or, spend more time on study..."

Before he finished speaking, Sheng Yexing rarely interrupted: "Isn't it written in the book? One person must live like a team."

"Yes, that's right." Ji Chuan adjusted his glasses.

"I didn't say that this team should study hard."

It's really neat for a team to cooperate with each other to climb over the wall.

After Sheng Yexing finished speaking, he was about to walk to the other end of the corridor. Ji Chuan reached out to stop him: "Where are you going? No more classes?"

"The money my aunt sent me has come down, so I can't go to class." He raised his sleeves again.

Sheng Yexing's mother left him a considerable amount of inheritance before she passed away. Since he was 15 years old, his aunt gave him some money every month. Sheng Yexing is not a spendthrift, and has already saved a lot.

"Well, then you go early and come back early." Ji Chuan knew that the kid's family situation was complicated, so he didn't make things difficult for him, "Put down your sleeves. I've already taken off my coat to others, aren't you cold?"

Sheng Yexing whistled and smiled, "I have to climb over the wall."

"Okay, you can go." Ji Chuan said.

The cold wind blew through the empty corridor, wearing only a thin sweater, Sheng Yexing climbed over the wall from the school grove and went out to the bank to withdraw money.

He is muddled, but he is not a reckless and naive person. Some teachers are more inclined to him, both openly and secretly.Students who are too independent are always prone to something.

In the classroom, Lu Jianxing kept looking at the corridor on his stomach. After waiting for a long time, he didn't see his deskmate come back, feeling a little bored and uncomfortable.

"teacher."

Tang Han was squatting down to pick up chalk, "What's wrong?"

"I want to go out." For the first time, he raised his hand and asked to stand at the vent in the corridor, which was an expression of his wish.

Tang Han was worried, and even sent Li Dingxi to follow.

From the moment Sheng Yexing made his statement, Li Dingxi was very respectful to this new little pretty roommate, completely forgetting that he was almost thrown away.

Li Dingxi sighed and said: "Oh...Little Xingxing, you said it would be great if you could talk more. Boss doesn't like to talk at all. He only talks by shouting and threatening eyes. You don't talk with me. In the dormitory How boring it is to stay."

It took Lu Jianxing a while to digest that Sheng Yexing was the "boss" in his mouth.

"Well," Lu Jianxing looked at the crowd running on the playground, propped his elbows against the railing, and said those three words in Li Dingxi's shocked eyes: "I'm sorry."

"Oh, why are you apologizing to me! I owe it to myself. I was the one who recruited you first, but I don't want to hit people on the head in the future. It's painful and unsafe...It's easy to kill people."

Li Dingxi explained, "If you kill someone, you will die, you know that?"

"I know." Lu Jianxing nodded.

When I was a child, I occasionally stood on the bay window of my bedroom and wanted to jump down.

Because I know that I will die and will truly disappear in this world.

He admits that he was confused after realizing his differences from childhood.

He couldn't do many things that satisfied him, and various obstacles came one after another, turning his originally colorful life into black and white, but his amazing concentration pulled him back from the abyss.

From another perspective, "special" is not entirely bad.

"It's not difficult for me to speak, I'm not dumb." Lu Jianxing's speaking ability has improved a lot since entering school, "It's just difficult for me to communicate."

He pointed to the distance between Li Dingxi and himself, and said emphatically, "Communication, communication."

Li Dingxi's eyes brightened a little: "I understand!"

Lu Jianxing pursed his lips, "What?"

"It means that if you get along well, you can still slowly become a chatterbox?"

"what."

Lu Jianxing wanted to nod at first, but spent some time trying to understand the word "talking tuberculosis", for a moment he didn't know whether to express negation or affirmation.

After class in the afternoon until after school, Lu Jianxing still didn't wait for the deskmate who "dislikes me" to come back.

After he finished putting away the drawers, he glanced at Sheng Yexing's desk again, and spent a few minutes thinking about whether he wanted to put them away for him.

If you touch other people's things rashly, will you be hated?

It seems that the relationship is not good enough to help pack personal belongings.

Lu Jianxing grabbed his schoolbag tightly, and lingered by Sheng Yexing's seat for a while.

The palms were pinched red.

"See you on the road!" The last student on duty who turned off the lights said loudly, "Aren't you leaving?"

Lu Jianxing bit the collar of the school uniform, zipped it up, waved to the door, and sat down.

The student on duty saw that he had no intention of leaving, so he turned off all the lights in the classroom, and before leaving, he muttered, "That's weird."

The little boy still seemed worried, and he turned back from the door and hid behind the door, probably because he was afraid of being opened by Lu Jianxing, so he spoke cautiously: "Lu Jianxing, remember to close the door when you leave."

Lu Jianxing replied: "Okay."

Then, stooping, he tied and untied his shoelaces.

This action was repeated four times until No.30, and Sheng Yexing still hasn't returned.

In Lu Jianxing's way of life, repetitive work, rest and movements are his habits, and the path that he follows Sheng Yexing to run across the school gate after school every day naturally becomes one of them.

He didn't plan to leave until Sheng Ye Xing was ready today.

The quiet clock in the classroom has already pointed the hour hand to "eight", Lu Jianxing shivered all over, and his eyes were sleepy.

He propped his elbows on the desk for a while, and after checking that there was no one else in the classroom, he decided to go back first.

At eight or nine o'clock in the night, night has already fallen.

The school security room hadn't locked the gate yet, and the broken umbrellas in the corridor were trampled to pieces by students who didn't look at the road. Lu Jianxing stepped on the stairs step by step, and silently counted the steps in his heart.

He missed a first step, so he turned back and went down again, and counted again.

The repeated cycle of actions continued countless times, and finally the security guards who patrolled at night came to the corridor.

A flashlight shone on Lu Jianxing, and he subconsciously raised his arm to block it.

At the end of the corridor, the uncle in the security room shouted at him: "It's almost ten o'clock! Why don't you leave? Which class?"

Lu Jianxing opened his mouth and didn't know how to respond, so he could only lean against the corner of the corridor, his black hair on his forehead was wet with sweat, and his breath was long and short.

"Can you talk?" Uncle Security came trotting over, worried that it was a student who was physically handicapped and unable to speak.

Lu Jianxing took aim at the flashlight first, then noticed the approaching person, and immediately reached out to block the badge on his chest.

He didn't want to be seen as autistic.

Uncle Security guard saw Lu Jianxing huddled at the base of the wall without speaking, so he slowed down his tone, "Little classmate is going back soon, okay? Do you want me to contact the head teacher?"

"No need." Lu Jianxing stood up and said, "Thank you."

He grabbed his schoolbag tightly to leave, and finally mustered up the courage to say, "I'm going back to the dormitory."

Uncle Security nodded to show his understanding, watched him go downstairs, and shouted in the corridor: "Be careful on the road!"

"En." Lu Jianxing responded in a low voice, not caring whether the other party could hear him or not.

In the new school, I can communicate normally with strangers.

Lu Jianxing couldn't tell what it was like, and suddenly felt that he was a little bit powerful.

As soon as he left the school gate, the searchlights at the gate came on.

Lu Jianxing is most at ease when he is alone.

He was single behind the crowd, and he didn't see anything unusual at all. Naturally, no one would label him as "disrespectful" or "little monster".

Obviously just a little bit special.

After walking a few steps, the sky began to rain, and at the same time, Lu Jianxing's cell phone vibrated in his pocket.

He opened WeChat and found that it was Gu Qunshan and Li Dingxi who were adding him as friends, but they hadn't passed the verification yet.

Lu Jianxing narrowed his eyes, looked back and forth several times, but did not find Sheng Yexing's application.

It was raining heavily, but Lu Jianxing had to stop.

He couldn't pass the verification while walking, so he had to stand still and press "Agree" one by one.

He has always been willing to make up for the lack of social interaction, but he doesn't know how to use it.

Raindrops hit the phone screen one by one, Lu Jianxing grabbed the sleeves of his school uniform to wipe, his eyes were swollen and painful from the rain.

He clicked out the class group, slid across the screen with his warm fingertips, and finally landed on Sheng Yexing's WeChat ID.

They're all at the same table, or in the same bed, so it's not too much to add.

Lu Jianxing looked down at the WeChat account whose profile picture was a motorcycle logo, and clicked "Add to Contacts" with a blank expression.

Then, inexplicably, a small firework was set off in my heart.

He looked up and crossed the road, feeling that the rain seemed to be a little lighter.

The rain was touching him.