Are you there?brat

I woke up and looked at the clock, it was past three in the night.

Trying to close my eyes and fall asleep again, I found it very difficult.

Unable to hold back, I turned on the phone and casually watched the news, delusional to sleep until my eyes were sore and I managed to fall asleep.

But I didn't expect that in the end, the more I looked at it, the more energetic I became... The mobile phone is really poisonous.

Those tragedies of falling horses are often posted on Weibo, and a group of girls below are hahahahahahahaha, as if they are watching some jokes.

I sat up straight with my back against the head of the bed, thinking about life, and in the long and disorderly night sky, I began to plan every step in the future.

No way, whoever makes me unable to sleep can easily enter the sage mode.

5 minute later.

I managed to fall asleep.

Sleeping until six or seven in the morning, I got up and looked at the clock, and the mobile phone was Xiao Shou's Q call request.

Probably he was planning to be my artificial alarm clock and wake me up.

I put my phone there, brushed my teeth, washed my face, and put on sunscreen.

Here I have to remind my sisters that it is better to grow old if you have children, and you can prevent old age by wearing sunscreen.

Although I am already 25 and six, when I go out, people still think that I skipped classes in high school, which is the key to my starting to wear sunscreen in college.

This is a free sub-question, everyone must pay attention to get it.

After tidying myself up, I sighed and looked at my phone.

Unyielding and unrelenting, Xiao Shou called me seriously. After I answered, I was a little embarrassed: "It's only 7:32."

Xiao Shou's voice was muffled: "But I've already memorized two hundred words and clocked in."

I shouldn't be able to copy the life of Xueba and Shenhao.

Now I can probably understand that sentence, I am not afraid of people who are better than you, but I am afraid that they will be serious when they are better than you.

terrible!

I didn't know what we were talking about with him. When we reached the fifth floor, we remembered that we had to take the garbage downstairs, and we ran up and down the stairs, with wireless earphones in our ears.

Xiao Shou was curious: "Why are you running, brother? Didn't catch the bus?"

Me: "No, I forgot to bring the trash, now go upstairs."

Xiao Shou: "Don't you have an elevator?"

I wiped the fine sweat from my forehead: "It's okay, it's just exercise."

Xiao Shou suddenly asked, "Which floor are you from?"

I subconsciously: "Seventh floor, seven is my lucky number."

After I answer, I really want to give myself a big mouth and let you talk about everything!

Xiao Shou didn't react at all, he just talked nonsense with me for a while, just like chatting about family affairs.

I stood at the bus stop and looked at my phone: "Brother, stop talking, the bus is coming."

Then I quickly hung up.

Sitting on the bus, I had the illusion that the guy in the hoodie in the last two rows of the car was Xiao Shou.

10 minute later.

Damn so ugly! What a hoodie!roll!

I was a villain in my heart, and when I got to my platform, I jumped off the bus and thought about which station I would go to eat and drink today.

After I got two lollipops, the new little salesman who arrived yesterday looked at me in the wrong way again.

It felt like I stole something from him again.

Hey, young people now.

I sighed in my heart, when I was doing sales, I would not do such a blind thing!

I gave him one, but he took it and left without saying thank you.

I didn't have anything to do in the afternoon, so I stuck in the town hall, explaining how to skin care to the little girl who was new at the front desk.

These days, men study cosmetics more delicately than women.

Yes, that's me.

I'm so confident that I don't allow others to refute.

Of course, some older sisters think I'm gay, after all, I'm much more delicate than their group of pig girls.

At this time, I can only sneer: "Sister can do it, brother can do it too!"

Of course, I am not advocating that all male compatriots are as angry as I am, this is a milestone in the life process.

It was all brought to me by pretending to be a monster, sir, you have to believe me...

Wait, what script am I holding now?

The lady in the office brought me an orange: "Er Que, don't you really think about coming out? I think you are very hopeful to be the first son-in-law of ours."

I peeled half of the orange and returned it to her, putting down my rhetoric: "What kind of a rich man! I am a rich man!"

Yes, I am that confident.

This confidence has continued until after get off work.

I looked at the Lamborghini at the door with double flashing lights, and once wanted to go back to work overtime.

Please, buy our house!

Xiao Shou seemed to be in a bad mood today, and had already started honking the horn.

I seriously thought about it, did I offend him today, except that I didn't answer his calls in the morning, at noon, and in the afternoon, there should be nothing wrong with it.

After all, he is an adult male who can call me 99+. I think my negligence should be acceptable.

I just remembered to go to the car, but I didn't expect the new salesman to rush out with promotional materials.

The sisters in the office had an "ohhh" expression on their faces, and some emotions came up, and they patted my shoulder: "Er Que! Look at your man! You are going to be kidnapped! Hurry up, Er Que!"

I knocked off their big trotters with my backhand: "What is my man! That is my brother!"

There is another one who has already started eating popcorn: "My day, these are so cool! Nian Xia! Listen to my sister's advice, don't think Nian Xia is short, drink milk while fucking!"

I was heartbroken and said, "What's wrong with you guys?! You wouldn't treat me like this before! I'm still missing your cute errand! I'll bring you milk tea in the wind and rain, and buy warm babies for you in the winter , now you want me to fuck you! Is there such a heartless plastic fake sisterhood like you!"

Although everyone is joking there, I believe that I will never bend!

When I was clenching my fists and trying to express my feelings and speeches, the little salesman came back holding the brochure with a depressed expression on his face.

Still too young and thin-skinned.

I think back then I received a task to sell 10 suites a month.

At that time, the most powerful salesman in this unit only sold 8 sets in a month!

But I am a different kind of fireworks.

I begged my grandpa to tell my grandma, and finally, under my indiscriminate attack, I won 11 sets, which established my golden position in the sales department.

Xiao Shou hung up on Q again at this time: "Why don't you come out?"

I thought for a second: "Because I'm shitting."

Xiao Shou choked: "You shit and asked your colleague to come and find me?"

I scratched the back of my head: "Yeah, I asked him to convey that I was shitting."

Xiao Shou remained silent for a few seconds: "Brother, come out."

At this time, I subconsciously refused: "Don't talk about it, my green energy today has been stolen, I have to take the bus to collect it!"

I waited in a see-saw manner with him for 10 minutes.

He drove away.

I breathed a sigh of relief, rubbed two more candies by the way, and then I jumped up and down to get on the bus.

The bus arrived soon, and I was playing match [-] when I got on the bus, and I didn't notice a very familiar Lamborghini next to it.

After I got out of the car, I walked through two alleys and went into the supermarket to buy today's dinner.

My mother taught me since I was a child that life must be good, and people like us must have three dishes and one soup on the table every day.

Later, I was so naive and asked my mother: "Mom, what kind of family are we?"

My mother gave me a big mouth directly: "What else can I do! If you pick me up again, I will let you review it again!"

Well, my mother is just that assertive, so blunt, and so rough.

Until now, I don't know what stage our family is in the social structure.

It may be the kind of middle-class people who have just hung up a well-off life and have unlimited dreams.

I just don't know if Xiao Shou and his family have eight dishes and one soup on their table to make up for their family's money.

"Boss, help me tidy up the sea cucumber."

I watched the boss skillfully tidy up my 6 sea cucumbers there, and decided to treat myself better and replenish the collagen on my face, so that I could pull more orders with this face and my three-inch tongue.

When I got home, I chopped three sea cucumbers and cracked an egg into it to make custard.

After opening the pot, this taste is very fresh.

It's rare that Xiao Shou didn't call me at night.

It's also possible that he can't get in because I'm talking to our old lady.

The old lady is actually quite young, in her forties, and she has always refused to let me call her mother. If I want to call her sister, she will not be given food if I don't call her.

So I am very grateful to my mother for this decision now.

I even call my mother sister, and other sisters are not to mention.

When I was playing the game, I looked at the friend list and found that Xiao Shou was not there.

This feeling is like cheating, which is very exciting.

Now I can understand the excitement of the big money bringing Xiaomi, or the sister bringing a little boy to buy a house.

It's too exciting, and I know it's not okay, but it's especially fun to do it secretly.

Wait... what am I thinking? !

If he can't play the game, it's none of my business!

I am a straight man!Straight and straight!

I sighed, I might be almost assimilated by those sisters these days.

They always feel that they just need to find a man whose income is twice their own. They can take care of their children at home and play mahjong when they have time. What a happy life they are.

At the beginning, I did not give up and asked: "Sisters, if you really want to find such a man, what should you do if he cheats?"

Of course I got a hundred critical hits.

The sisters look like you don’t understand: "What's the matter, he will take care of it. My child will also have it. How comfortable it is to hold it in my hand. It is impossible for the child not to recognize his mother. I don't have to be fucked by him. If I get the money, I'll go out and make a little boy myself, it's a lot of work."

I can only applaud and say awesome, I wish my sisters can find the half of their hearts, it is best if they are rich and sick, and they can squeeze two more tears when they die.

I'm waiting for a wild team in the world, and I plan to go in and get some experience.

But the captain rejected me in various ways, and even secretly asked me why I didn't bring Mr. Hilton into the team.

I couldn't hold back and typed out three words: Day your mother.

team leader:? ? ? ?What did you say you!

As soon as the game was closed, I lay on the bed and began to think about life again.

Hey, how about... I call him?

As soon as I had this thought, my hand was a second faster than my repentance.

This time Xiao Shou didn't answer in seconds, I still have a little regret.

What's the matter, did I shake M? !

No, no, no, Qi Que, you are a straight man, you can't harm a straight man who has not been blackened by society!

I threw the phone aside, anyway, I didn't watch the WeChat work group at night, and fell asleep hugging the pillow with a little regret.

Of course, while I was asleep, Xiao Shou called me for nearly two hours.

After waking up, I looked at my phone and felt guilty.

This is fucking... a bit scary, brother!

I decided to take the initiative to prevent him from killing me in a corner once he goes berserk.

Xiao Shou looked at the phone again: "Brother, why didn't you answer my call."

I laughed, "Because I... fell asleep again. I'm a little tired these two days, and I'm busy selling houses."

Xiao Shou didn't seem to accept my explanation: "Are you hiding from me?"

I was suddenly poked at the center of things.

Isn't it just avoiding you!

You are fucking like a bastard!You almost touched my room and stole my underwear!

I am pleasant: "No, don't talk nonsense. Why should I hide from you, anyway, you know where my unit is."

Xiao Shou hesitated: "Where are you now?"

I turned my head and looked around: "My own home, what's wrong?"

He summoned up his courage: "Can I go to your place? Stay overnight."

I checked the time, 10:30pm.

He's coming to my place for the night now?

It's not suitable for the lonely and widowed, brother!

I tried to understand the actual situation: "You... why did you come to me? Aren't you in school? It's about to close at this point."

He lowered his voice: "I had a quarrel with my classmates, and I'm a bit conflicted. I'm afraid that something will happen if I stay in the dormitory tonight."

What!Arguing with my classmates can embarrass my little brother Shenhao!

impossible!

I continued to try to guide: "Well, let me book a room for you?"

He immediately refused: "I didn't bring my ID card out, I wanted to go to the Internet cafe."

I still strongly want to recommend him to go to a hotel: "Then I'll open one for you? Just go back after you sleep."

Xiao Shou was silent for a while: "I'll give you 1000 yuan, let me stay for one night at your place, let's go to yours if you have internet."

In front of money, I lowered my noble head.

"Yes, 100 optical fibers, and you can upload images in seconds."

When he showed up in his Lamborghini on the street across from my rental house, I kind of reacted.

Damn... Aren't I just leading wolves into the house? !

He parked the car and hung up on Q again: "Brother, I'm here."

I put on my coat, held the key and resigned myself to go downstairs, trying to tell him that a room in a five-star hotel actually only costs 998 a night.

But no way, my dear brother Shenhao, it's rare to be tough at this time.

He carried a bag, which contained clothes, computers, and toiletries, and he seemed to be a delicate pig boy.

No, I'm still worried that he wants to fuck me.

Could it be that he thinks I'm trying to say no? !

Cold treatment every day, but let him live at home today? !

No, no, I am still a very upright and fair man!

When I opened the door, I responded with a guilty attitude towards my home environment: "Actually, you can sleep in a five-star hotel for 1000 yuan."

He showed a pair of small canine teeth: "But you are not in the five-star class."

Listen, is this something a science student would say!

Did my younger brother take another one hundred love story course?

I heard that such a weird university will offer such weird classes!Lest they miss love in the pursuit of truth.

After he went in, my first reaction was to go to my small refrigerator to get him fat house water, and take out the quilt from my closet by the way. Those who have not slept in the sun for the past two days should be able to barely make up for him. Live the night.

He took off his shoes and walked around there: "It's bigger than I thought."

I hugged the quilt and put it on the bed: "emmm... In your impression, what kind of living should I live in?"

He didn't answer, just asked: "Don't you live with your family?"

I shook my head: "My mother is busy and won't live with me."

He froze for a moment, sitting on the sofa at my house, looking a bit obedient.

Although after 5 minutes, he was there picking up my network cable: "Is there wifi? I see that you only have one network cable port."

After reporting the password to him, I told myself to calm down, this is just a student, not to mention that I have richer social experience than him, it is impossible for me to be caught by him.

After chatting about some unnutritive topics, he yawned twice: "Brother, where should I sleep?"

I pointed to the bed, and I don't know why I felt the excitement in his eyes suddenly come out: "You sleep on the bed."

He froze immediately: "What about you?"

I pointed heavily outside the house: "I sleep in the living room."

In fact, my brother lived with me for a while before, and I locked him on the balcony when he snored.

I picked up my quilt and ran out quickly, took the key and locked the bedroom door, he knocked on the door: "What if I get up at night to go to the toilet?!"

I rushed inside and shouted: "Then hold back!"

Yes, I am that bad.

Although 10 minutes later, he bombed my mobile phone and forced me to open the door, and my mother made an appointment for three chapters, emphasizing that I sleep more deadly, so don't toss me when I fall asleep, after all, I wake up very angry.

Also, let him sleep for one night, and if he wants to have conflicts with his classmates in the future, don't come to me.

He nodded very diligently. I scratched my head and hugged my quilt, and took out a pillow.

After turning off the lights, I said good night.

I slept like this all night with something on my mind, but I didn't expect that I would wake up later than him the next day.On the coffee table in the living room, there was a sandwich with a note pressed underneath it.

His handwriting was pretty good. I ate a sandwich and called my brother: "Do you remember that student?"

My brother scolded me for 3 minutes. The main idea was to tell me not to call him early in the morning.

Later, when he finally realized what I was talking about, he comforted me remotely: "Remember to take the initiative when you are being fucked, it is said that it won't hurt too much."

"I'll go to your mother's second uncle!"

I didn't go to work today, so I went back to my own bedroom and saw that he had folded my quilt into tofu cubes, and thought about whether Xiao Shou came out of some military school.

Look at this standard line, even if you give me a ruler, I can't figure it out.

Lying back on my bed, I now have an urge to ask him.

Are you fucking straight?

I suspect that I am going to fall in love.

Gender male, good-looking, the key is to be rich.

I don't know if my life is good or not, I'm still a virgin, at most I watched Miss Boduo solve her physical problems.

Hey, I don't know if my mother knows that I'm close to a rich man, will she decorate and make a farewell banquet for me to celebrate that someone will take over?

At this time, I remembered the problem I had in XX, and with longing and future, I clicked on it.

Ha ha.

Still no reply.

Really, you guys just like to watch the kind of short stories!

sleep!

After waking up, I felt very hungry, so I got up and opened the refrigerator.

I found that there was a pineapple bun inside, and there were two extra bottles of fat house water beside it.

……

Stop talking, I will confess my love to my brother now!

Of course, I think it is necessary to choose auspicious days for such things as confession. He is blind and I am blind. Volunteering one-on-one assistance to contribute to the national poverty alleviation plan.

Hey hey, just kidding.

I still think of myself as a straight man.

What should a straight man do?

Pick up the cute girl, go to fuck Yujie, and then wash diapers and clothes seriously, try to become the perfect husband of the five good people in the new era, and do your own responsibility for a stable family relationship.

Yes, my dream is to become a straight man, have a good-looking wife, have a pair of children, worry about mortgage and car loan every day, and scratch my head.

Maybe I will have to worry about driving past the gas station at that time. Today, No. 93 oil is 1 cents more expensive. Next time I will go out and take the bus, green energy...

Yes, my green energy!

This time, I got up and found that little green energy again, and found that my green energy had been stolen by someone, and only 30% was left for me.

I beat my chest and stamped my feet, it was so uncomfortable!

My energy!

Who are these people!Staring at other people's energy without sleeping seriously every day!

Oh my chicken...my chicken is hungry too!Who beat my chicken!

Manager... Forget it, let's not scold him.

It's all my chicken's ignorance.

I sat on the bed, hungry and stiff, the data cable connected to the phone was already hot, and now I am really a little afraid that I will be in the funeral home by this time tomorrow.

dong dong dong.

I stood up abruptly, got out of bed in a panic, and went to the door to look at the cat's eyes.

It was Xiao Shou.

……

Why is this stinky brother here again!

He was carrying something in his hand and a bag on his back. He wouldn't be kicked out after arguing with his classmates again, right?

Really, you throw money at them!Isn't this your favorite thing to do!

It's also possible... His classmates don't have much less money than him, and they can't afford to waste it.

My phone was vibrating again, and I tiptoed back to bed, and I decisively turned it off.

He knocked on the door: "brother, open the door, I know you are at home."

Listen, is this what Aunt Nine told Aunt Eight in "Deep Love and Rain"!

It's so annoying that I can't open it!

Xiao Shou shouted again: "Brother! I brought you boiled fish! Open the door!"

You can buy me with just boiled fish? !

Xiao Shou continued to knock: "There are also dried bamboo shoots and steamed pork!"

Dried bamboo shoots and steamed meat... I don't want to!

Xiao Shou: "Brother, I brought you 2.5 liters of Pepsi, iced."

Now I can't stand it anymore.

How could fat house water be Pepsi!

I pretended that I had just woken up, and opened the door with squinted eyes: "Who are you?"

His outstretched hand was hanging in the air: "Brother?"

I was silent for two seconds: "The plot is not like this, let me think about it again."

He tilted his head and watched me slam the door shut again.

Then I put my back against the door and shouted at him: "I'll take you in for one night as I said!"

Xiao Shou insisted: "I won't sleep with you tonight! I have my ID card!"

I opened a small crack: "Really?"

Then I watched Xiao Shou stepping in and blocking the door, and quickly let go.

He slipped his things in both hands: "Aren't you eating well again?"

huh?

Now it's my turn to be confused: "Why don't I eat well?"

He put the dishes on my tea table: "I called you at noon and you didn't answer, so I was thinking that you might not have lunch again."

Like this?I rubbed the back of my head: "Oh, I'm really sleepy, sometimes I just fall asleep... Wait a minute!"

He put down the Coke and paused: "What's wrong, brother?"

I hesitated for a moment: "Why did you come to my place? You have already brought your ID card, so you can just stay in a hotel."