Heartbreaker

"Lymon Sol" is my old name.I guess not many people want to know about my past.As Chichikov said, it will make people so disgusted that they can't eat for a month.My life in the past was like a pile of shit that was smashed, and although it is a pile of shit now, it is a pile of blood-smelling shit.After I've killed a thousand people, I'll despise my old foolishness--yet I'll have to double-check it like I checked the only gold coin in my rag pocket, so that I can be sure that my evil fire won't be destroyed by time. The trickle extinguished.

Thankfully, that fire has been burning in my hair.

My childhood was filled with the soft tones of the lyre, the scent of roses in the garden in the afternoon, and the verses that flowed from my lips.Oh, yes, and my court teachers, and my brother Aron Sol.When I was one year old, five-year-old Airon hugged me and accidentally threw me into the lake under the bridge. I heard from other maids that I was almost drowned, and the high fever lasted for half a month before subsiding.When I was two years old, Ai Rong gave me a cat. As a result, I developed blood pox all over my body due to skin allergies, like a large pomegranate that was ripe and cracked.When I was three years old, I knew to avoid my brother who was four years older than me and always had a smile on his face.I no longer leaned in front of him, but he followed me step by step, and suddenly kissed and hugged me with such tenderness that I was so scared that my face turned pale, like a mouse that had been licked by a cat.

When I was four years old, Airon was like a bell hammer, and as soon as I saw him within a few meters of me, there was a clanging bell in my head, and I began to cry loudly.At that time, Ai Rong was learning swords from his swordsmanship teacher, his arms became stronger day by day, holding me was like putting a shackle on me.I ran to my mother and cried, and my brother half-kneeled in front of our mother with a sad face, and said to her, "Mom, I'm so sorry that Lemon is so afraid of me. I heard my brother is still sleeping with the wet nurse." , he is already four years old, this is not appropriate. Can you allow me to sleep with him, deepen our relationship, and let me teach him how to be a qualified boy by the way? "

Now that I think about it, this statement is really hypocritical.But our mother didn't know if it was to improve the relationship between me and Airon or something, she readily agreed.And so my nightmare began.Every night when Ai Rong lay next to me, I would cry whenever his hand reached out to me, and then he would choke my neck tightly, laughing and releasing me when I was about to suffocate.Worse still, no one believed what I said was true.

"Don't cry, Lymon. Be like a real boy. Real boys don't cry."

He whispered softly in my ear and ran his fingers along my skin, humiliating my most vulnerable parts.I went from crying at first to choking and then just shaking.This kind of life has been going on for a year, my God, I really don't know how I got over that year.But I know that since then, I have suffered from insomnia, and my sleep is extremely light and shallow.As soon as I close my eyes, I feel that Ai Rong seems to be lying on my side, looking at me with his head propped up, his eyes are full of excitement and greed like staring at prey.

"Lemon, when you feel sad, you might as well play some cheerful melodies to ease your mood."

In the afternoon poetry and music class, golden sunlight streams down from the emerald green leaves.Gessen sat next to me, dressed in linen silk, his fingers gracefully plucking the gleaming strings.He is as delicate and handsome as a sculpture, sitting in the shade like a perfect oil painting, the light flakes leaking from the leaves dance on the tips of his light-colored hair, just like the clever notes he played.

Although I was only seven years old at that time, in my hazy heart, I already had an understanding and understanding of the word "beautiful".At that time, the "beautiful" was the sunshine, the garden, and Geshen playing the lyre.Gesun taught me fingering and music notation, and taught me rhythm and rhyme.The first time I shyly sang in Gesun's beautiful melody, Airon rode his silver-white pony and stopped in front of me with a half-smile.

"Dear brother." He looked at me with ambiguous eyes that made me shudder, "You are really beautiful, very beautiful."

He was eleven years old, tall as a bamboo, with broad shoulders and long legs.He is more like my tall and burly father, tough and upright, while I am more like my gentle and quiet mother, which makes me and Airon have no similarities in appearance except for blond hair.

"Hey, Gesen." Ai Rong said, he showed no respect for all the court teachers, "Give my brother half a day off, I want to take him out to play."

Gerson is a little cold, Airon never pays attention in his poetry and music class, I guess he doesn't like Airon. "I'm ignorant, so I want to bring down my younger brother?"

"Just taking Lymon out to relax." He rubbed the silver-white pony's mane as if showing off, "He stays in the palace every day, and he's bored to the point of getting moldy. It's a pity that no one took him out to play. You said yes No, Lemon?"

I subconsciously wanted to refuse, but the moment I looked at Ai Rong, the fear in those hundreds of nights grabbed me like a giant hand.I nodded, and sat on Airon's horse dizzily amid Gesun's disappointed sigh.His arms trapped me like two rows of iron bars, I could only shrink my body as much as possible so as not to touch his arms.

After dismounting I threw up.My stomach convulsed as I jolted the horse, but with Airon so close to my back, I didn't even dare to vomit.I lay on my stomach by the stream, throwing up my whole stomach.Airon held my shoulders, and while his horse was flicking its tail in the water, he handed me a water bladder, "Drink some, Lymon, it will make your stomach feel better."

I looked at him weakly, really feeling parched.His eyes became gentle, as if looking at a kitten that fell into the water.I took his water bladder and took a sip.The refreshing and mellow cherry dew relieved my thirst and nausea.

"Thank you, brother." I said gratefully.He helped me under the tree and stroked my sweaty forehead, "You are welcome, dear brother. Since you are not feeling well, rest here, and I will go to the depths of the forest for a walk."

I nodded and watched Airon's figure disappear into the forest.I leaned against the tree and closed my eyes under the warm sunshine.Soon I heard a loud hum.At first I thought it was a dream, until a swarm of wasps the size of a thumb swarmed towards me, wrapping me like a blanket or coat.Their bulging tails were next to mine, their spikes digging into my skin.As if bound by several layers of thorns, I heard the viscous sound of toxins spreading in my body, felt the swelling of blood vessels, and the pain was like a small bullet bouncing on my skin.Under the excruciating pain, a series of melodies emerged in my mind, and like blood, it slid down the gray-black wall built by consciousness.I didn't even dare to call for help, because I seemed to be able to swallow several poisonous bees with one mouth. Although I would choose to crush the stomachs of those wasps without hesitation, I was not so crazy a few years ago.I was lying helpless on the grass, the sun was damn bright, and my body, which was harder than slate, was as cold as ice, itching and aching.

"Lemon."

At this time, I heard the voice of Airon.God, I almost shed tears.I didn't dare to move, the wasp covered me like a dark cloud.I tried to move my finger, but only got a finger full of venom.

"Lemon, where are you?"

He walks through the bushes behind me, his voice jittery and playful, like he's looking for a kid to play hide and seek with, but I'm actually fucking right under his nose.Don't ask me how the hell I know, I met his eyes.Then he walked over my head as if nothing had happened, while impetuously calling my name, walking further and further away.

Until the dawn of sunset, the guards in the palace found me.I can't describe the look on their faces when they found me, I only know that Ai Rong let out a scream, stumbled off the horse, hugged me to his chest and cried bitterly, acting like the real thing.

****

My body swelled up like a balloon, my skin was riddled with holes from the wasp's tail, and festered and festered because I didn't find it in time.It is said that the imperial doctors who treated me worked for three days and three nights, and they took out a large plate of bee needles—who knows the exact situation.But what I do know is that since then I have never dared to see anyone again.An ugly monster with a swollen body, a thick neck, and brown and black round scars all over the skin, like a moth-eaten tooth.

I sneaked into Airon's bedroom and rummaged, and found a small bag of incense powder, which smelled like cherries when dissolved in water.I sprinkled them in my garden and they attracted poisonous bees.Ai Rong knew that I had tampered with his stuff, he grabbed my skirt with his strong arms and beat me until staring.He dragged my swollen body to stand in front of the mirror, and pulled my chin. The toxins in my body were rooted in me, and my saliva dripped like a mentally retarded person, wet the back of his hand, and dripped everywhere on the carpet.

"You should have died, your life is hard, Lymon."

He looked at the younger brother who was drooling under him in the mirror with pity, his own brother who had the same blond hair as him, but was as ugly as a monster.

"Do you think you can go back to the past by telling the truth to your father and mother?" He leaned into my ear, smiling like a devil, "Father won't let a monster inherit the throne, you are a waste from now on, Lai Mon Sol. If you don't want to die, just be smart and listen to me."

I suspect that there is some kind of evil power in Airon that erodes people's hearts, because I have indeed become a waste.What's worse, he's become a sentimental piece of shit.It sounds hopeless.

My swordsmanship was not very good, and it was even worse after being stung by a poisonous bee.My sluggish and bloated body could not allow me to deflect Airon's attack flexibly.He walks me like a dog, and the sword is like his hand, with which he can tease me as he pleases, as he has done to me so many nights.When we competed in swordsmanship in front of my father again, I fell to the ground like a ball, and in the hot eyes of everyone, driven by some kind of broken self-esteem, I began to cry.

My mother frowned, she still loved me back then, "Ai Rong, you overdid it, Lemon is your younger brother."

"I'm sorry, Queen Mother, I'll just apologize to Lemon." Ai Rong pressed his sword against my back, like playing a piano on my spine with his fingers, and then affectionately pulled me up from the ground and handed it to me a handkerchief.

I heard him whisper ferociously, "Cry like a girl again and I'll make you a real girl."

"Well done, Airon." Father praised, as if Airon suddenly shone in his eyes, as if the person Airon was playing with was not his son.Also, how can a guy like a monster deserve to be his son.

My deformed appearance got worse as I got older. My face was full of pitted acne, my waist was as thick as a bucket wrapped in rubber, my legs were like dead branches, and my knees were like two protruding tree tumors. .I dare not go in front of my parents, because that will only bring out how handsome and handsome Ai Rong is, and make me look like a poor clown.During those hellish days, my only spiritual support was Gerson.I know that he is my father's most trusted subject and the best teacher in the world.He would play a soft melody on the qin while I wept alone, whispering verses brighter than the stars in the sky.

He told me, "Lemon, even with flaws, people can still live proudly and beautifully. You have to work hard to have a pure and perfect soul, so that suffering can no longer shake your heart."

Gerson's words brought tears to my eyes.I picked up the lyre and played it with my beloved teacher Geshen as before, but the time changed from the quiet afternoon to the quiet night.Most of the time when Gesun was not around, I sat alone on the steps facing the moon, or recited those old and graceful poems, or plucked the crisp and melodious strings, stared at the bright moonlight, and felt everything in the world—— —

If it weren't for the mess that followed, this might have been the best ending.

****

"Ai Rong's frame for you was premeditated."

In the early morning, Chichikov and I walked on the floor tiles of Huapai Town together.I have two heavy dark circles under my eyes, and my shoulders tremble from time to time.Last night was a bit too much, and I shrank my body under the quilt for several hours without any sign of warming up.Luo lay on the side of the bed and looked at me worriedly, and I read guilt from his expression.I really don't blame him, it's because I didn't control myself, after hearing the damn blood rose story, I was so energetic, the evil fire burned from the top of my head to my lower abdomen, and I even used Luo as a tool to vent.

"I also figured it out later, I always think more when I'm alone." I shrugged my shoulders, "Gerson is the king's most trusted minister, and he appreciates me more than Airon. The king loves the queen deeply , and I just happen to be very similar to the queen—with Ai Rong's pig-headed mind, he would probably think that I am a major threat to his succession to the throne. But it turns out that even without me, he is still useless."

Chichikov wiped the cigarette rod, "How was it last night?"

I know he's referring to my visit to Airon's grave, and I think he's asking the question knowingly.

"Eliot knows my every move." I said coldly, "He carved a fart poem under the lid of Airon's coffin, as if he had expected what I would do."

"This is nothing more than normal." Chichikov lowered his head and kept fiddling with the cigarette. "He is the one who took away my other eye and my 'future'. What we have to do Maybe he really caught his eye."

I didn't say a word, just clenched the handle of my knife tightly.Chichikov heard the creaking of my teeth, as if I were crushing a stone with my bare hands.He walked as fast as his boots were on fire, as if he was afraid of getting my bad luck.

We walked to the old den of the "mole".I couldn't be more familiar with this place, which has left a strong mark on my past.The mole ghosts lay sprawled on the ground, sleeping like dead pigs, like a wall of corpses.Their general base is a dilapidated cellar, with ventilation holes dug on all sides, a field of hay, and a few bedding.Only then did I realize the fact that they were just a gang of thugs.To be honest, I'm quite envious.

I found out the mole ghost who led us the way yesterday, and let him lead us into the secret passage.

The guy was still muttering dissatisfiedly, "Since you know the way, you don't need to let me come over..."

Immediately, he opened his mouth wide and made no sound.

The wizard in prison is dead.The son of a kingslayer, he is dead.Rolled down to hell with every secret he could possibly know.

I stabbed the mole ghost in the head with a knife!He shouted in fear, staring at me with wide-eyed eyes, "No, it's not me! I didn't come in after you left yesterday!"

Chichikov tried to stop me, "Lemon, wait! He didn't kill the wizard!"

"Go to hell!" I let out a piercing roar like a ghost, my facial features were twisted and twisted, "I want to kill someone right now!"