Heartbreaker

"Why don't you resist?"

Twelve years ago, a girl asked me this question, her indifferent pupils were like pure and silent obsidian.I was surrounded by other boys, curled up on the ground, covered in bruises from their kicks.Feline grabbed a boy by the skirt and hit him on the nose with a punch.

I heard the boy's yell, and I carefully moved away the hands covering my cheeks, only to see him fall down beside me, howling.Seeing this, the other boys rushed towards Feline aggressively.She just glanced at me very quickly, untied the basket and swung it, immediately knocked the boys to the ground, and slapped the boy who stepped on my head several times along the way.

"Murderer's daughter!" the boys couldn't beat her, pointing at her and yelling viciously. "Murderer! Murderer! Burn to death sooner or later!" They yelled in unison, and Feline stood among them expressionlessly, her short black hair and simple blouse messed up by the beating just now.

She clenched her fists and made a cold cracking sound. Her eerie voice was hoarse than a whetstone. "Do you want to see what a 'murderer's daughter' is?"

The boys scattered, and one of them threw a stone at my head as if venting his anger.I sat on the ground blankly, and Feilin stared at me for a long time not far away, then slowly approached, squatted down, and carefully looked at the injuries on my body.

She lowered her head and fiddled with a small roll of bandages and gauze, "... Luo, right?"

"Ah, yes." I looked at her in surprise and said, "Thank you just now."

"Feline, my name." She looked up at me with her dark eyes, "I've seen you a few times. We went to the exchange to exchange supplies at about the same time, and I often saw you being killed on the way there. These guys bully."

There was still a freshly scratched wound on her arm, but she tied the gauze to my forehead, stared at me and said, "I'm really surprised, you are much stronger than them when doing farm work, why? They hit you and you didn't fight back?"

I heard my stiff voice, "I don't want to fight back."

"why?"

"I used to fight back and even hurt other people." I smiled wryly, "When I was in the orphanage, I had a conflict with a boy on the street. His mother led him angrily, and in the orphanage At that time, not only I was punished, but also the nun who took care of me..."

Yes, from now on I will not fight back. That memory pushed my clenched fist away time and time again, until it became a habit in the end.Momentary violence to vent anger will not solve any problems and will only cause more people to be injured.

"I see." She nodded indifferently, and the sudden silence made me uneasy.She took good care of the wound for me, and I hurriedly thanked her and bandaged it up for her.She looked at me very quietly, watching the bandages wrap around the wound, and said quietly, "Then what do you think of a murderer's daughter?"

The sunset glow coated her figure with a layer of quiet and gentle brilliance.A beam of light passed through the gap between our hands, and at that moment, some unknown sorrow in her heart seemed to reach my palm through the warm skin.I looked at her and said that answer without thinking.

"You are Feline."

****

The bell at dusk floats in the boundless Vulture City, and the sun is like an orange veil, hanging thinly on our window lattice and fluttering in the wind.The sky outside the window seems to be divided into three distinct color blocks of black, purple and orange, just like the thick and bright paint on the canvas.

With the Bible on his head, Popolo knelt on the ground and said with emotion, "The merciful Lord said, I have given you everything so that you can have peace and hope. But you have violated my wish and fought for Power and wealth kill each other, and they are devoid of conscience in order to satisfy their ambitions and desires. Human beings who do not deserve my breath, I will take away your breath of life and let your filthy flesh be completely burned..."

"This is the first time I've heard of undead that can be taken away by humans."

Chichikov narrowed his cold, ironic eyes at me.I shrank in the corner, enduring his sharp stare, "I'm sorry..."

"No wonder Lemon didn't want to take you with him." He snorted coldly and took a few puffs of cigarettes.Barbara sat aside and said, "Can't your eyes see into the past, Chichikov? Look at the bastard who took the money. The little devil is suffering as hell."

"I can't see the dead." The old man gave me a cold look, and stood by the window, staring at the people passing by on the street.I lowered my head in distress, not knowing what to do, I could only hold the thread-bound book I brought out from Huapai Town—"Dreams of the Waste Land", this is the name of the book, it tells the story of a boy and a girl fleeing s story.

Barbara leaned over and took the book away, and whispered to me, "What Chichikov asks you to do later, do it well, you know? Don't be distracted anymore, the old man is no more talkative than Lemon .”

"Yes." Chichikov turned around and put the pipe back in his pocket, "Come with me, little undead. The kid who stole the purse is on the black street in the lower city. Let's get it back."

I dare not neglect, especially if the other party is Chichikov.This unpredictable old man often brings me a stronger sense of oppression than Lemon, as if he can't trust me from the bottom of his heart. "Don't take it lightly because you think you have destructive power in your hands." He warned me coldly, "Wild lions can die at the feet of fleas, and strength is not the only magic weapon to win."

I nodded and followed the old man down the street to the city.As the gorgeous sunlight gradually dissipated, the palm of the night wiped out the light, covering the earth with a layer of black and oily velvet, only sporadic fires dotted it like rubies.The slums in Vulture City are even more dilapidated than I imagined. Everyone almost lives in a large rectangular box.Irregular holes were dug out of the dry and cracked mud wall, and thick curtains were hung. The smoky smell of oily smoke mixed with the cold air twisted into a heavy bitter smell.

Old clothes were drying in front of the faint fire, and garbage was thrown everywhere. A few young people sitting on the street have been staring at us furtively. In front of them, children are almost naked | crawling on the mud Roll and play on the ground.

I tried to avoid those children rolling on the ground, but the corner of my clothes was caught by a small hand.A little girl with a dirty face looked at me and begged, "Big brother, my mother is sick, can you give me some money to save her?"

I touched my pocket and said guiltily, "Sorry, I don't have any money..." Chichikov stared at the girl for a while, and I just wanted to ask the girl to check on the mother's condition, but she ran away in fear .

"Don't believe these little liars." Chichikov shook his head and led me into a row of low taverns.Pushing open the door, the hustle and bustle immediately rushed towards the face like steaming heat.The walls of these nearly ten taverns were actually pierced through, and the long space was only separated by two hidden doors.The first room is used for goods trading, the second room is used for eating and drinking, and the third room is a casino.

As soon as I entered the third room, the smoke was like sticky mud and blocked my breath.I gasped for breath with difficulty, Chichikov sniffed it, frowned and commented, "Inferior smoke can poison your lungs."

"Brat, you fucking dare to trick me!"

The source of the noise was the table at the farthest corner. I turned my head to look, and Chichikov suddenly said, "That kid!"

A helpless laugh was caught in the rough voice, "I'm not cheating. If you come to play, you can afford to lose. You are unlucky. Can you blame my luck?"

"Stop talking nonsense and hand over the money you won!"

"Ha! If I don't know, don't even think about taking the money back into your pockets! Only fools will return it to you!"

"You bloody son of a bitch, you're still fucking stubborn—" A strong man overturned the card table, and the flower cards fell to the ground.

"Like taking money and dreaming, you hooligans who only threaten people with violence!"

The card table was torn apart on the ground, and there was an uproar. Those burly men stretched out their hands to catch the boy. The boy dodged left and right, holding the money bag tightly in his hand, and jumped off the bench!There was chaos all around, I was caught in the chaotic crowd, and suddenly I was bumped by a figure rushing from behind, knocking off the hood on my head.

"Get out of the way!" The anxious figure was about to squeeze past me, the brown-haired boy's gaze stayed on my face for a moment, and he shouted, "You—you are... brother!"

I was stunned for a while, saw the young man's face clearly, and felt pain like a knife cutting deep in the eyes that had lost their eyeballs.

This "Brother" made the two groups of people who were at war with each other pause for a while.Jeremy gave me another hard look in disbelief and exclaimed, "Oh my God, bro—is that really you?"

"..." I glanced at him, then at the strong man behind him holding a sharp weapon, and said awkwardly, "Jeremy..."

Jeremy cheered in surprise, jumped off the stool, and ran eagerly towards me.He was a grown man, lean and muscular, with brown hair pulled into a short braid that seemed a bit cynical.He hugged me tightly, I hesitated for a moment, but still didn't push him away.

Chichikov said with distaste, "...you are such a troublemaker, boy Luo."

"Well, the little mouse found his mouse brother, that's easy." The men who threatened Jeremy said fiercely, "Hey, you are his brother, let your thief brother take the black money you won. Hand it over, or we will teach you a lesson together!"

"I didn't cheat!" Jeremy said angrily, then turned to me and said, "Trust me, brother! I'm good at poker, and they framed me!"

"Believe in you to be a ghost."

Chichikov snorted coldly, stepped forward, and pulled out a purse from Jeremy's trouser pocket, "He stole my blind brother's purse at the market. He is really a once-in-a-lifetime good brother."

I look over to Jeremy.His face turned blue and white, and he said bewilderedly, "Oh... God, I didn't know that person was..." He grabbed my arm nervously and said earnestly, "Forgive me, brother, I didn't mean to...you were wearing a hood, I didn't see it...I want this money for a reason, mother...mother she..."

Chichikov said flatly, "Boy Luo, if you want to catch up with that cheap brother of yours, stand behind and don't hinder me from solving the current troubles." His gray-blue eyes looked at Jeremy. Thorn, Jeremy shuddered immediately.

"Bring the money here, kid. Then just shrank behind your brother honestly and don't make trouble."

"Is this old man with you, brother?" Jeremy whispered to me.I nodded, and he grudgingly grunted, and handed all the coins he had won to Chichikov.Heavy, indeed a lot.

"Hahaha, the old guy still understands the truth!" The group laughed, and just about to reach out to grab it, Qiqikov squinted and smiled, "If you give me the money, you can... bet with me, If I win, I will pay you double."

****

Chichikov was smoking his pipe, laughing and playing with some gold coins between his fingers.In front of him was a brown-gray money bag filled with shiny gold coins.He won almost the entire casino tonight, and I blocked all the threats and anger of the good-for-nothings for him, and he paid Jeremy accordingly, and only asked to live in his house.

Jeremy looked at him from the table, eyes full of surprise and longing, "God, how did you do it? Others call me 'Lucky Jeremy', but my little luck is nothing compared to You are not worth mentioning! There must be some skills in this, can you teach me?"

Chichikov glanced at him, "No. I don't accept disciples, let alone teach disciples. After teaching apprentices, the master will have to wait to starve to death."

As soon as Popolo entered the door, he saw a cracked oil painting portrait on the wall, and danced and jumped over, "Oh, my dear Lord!"

Barbara took off the thick velvet cape, looked around, but obviously couldn't find the hanger, and complained, "Oh, why do we live in such a dirty little house?"

Chichikov said, "This is Luo's home, so it's safer than those hotels. We are strangers in Vulture City, so we should be more cautious."

I stood at the door, looked at the old man, and said in a low voice, "Chichikov, can I...don't stay here?"

"Yes, as you like." The old man took a puff of his cigarette and said coldly, "As long as you can find another place to live."

"This is Luo's home?" Barbara looked at me in surprise, "Xiaosi... Luo, so you still have relatives?"

I am silent.Jeremy said, "Of course, beauty, I'm his brother!"

Barbara glanced at him, and twitched the corners of her mouth uninterestedly, "You are much uglier than your brother, squirrel head."

Jeremy snorted disdainfully, "It's not easy for you to see where to go, old lady."

Chichikov couldn't stop laughing.Seeing that Barbara was about to go mad with a scream, I dragged Jeremy away and said with a frown, "Jeremy, why did you go to the casino? It's too dangerous there."

"What can I do!" Jeremy rubbed his hair wistfully. "The family needs money everywhere, a lot of money! This vulture city is full of poor people, and pickpocketing can't do much. I'm lucky, and maybe I can earn money through gambling." some money."

"What happened?"

"Mom..." Jeremy said, "I have contracted lung disease since I arrived in Vulture City. Although the disease is under control now, she is still very weak and needs supplements to maintain her strength... Go and see her, brother .

I took a step back. "No, Jeremy, I'm not going to live here."

Jeremy glanced at me, was silent for a while, and begged, "Brother, anyway, please go and see your mother... She is much older than before, and she still says your name occasionally, you Go and see her, she will be comforted."

****

I didn't find my adoptive mother comforted seeing me, and I didn't want to see that woman at all.But Jeremy begged me repeatedly, and I followed him into the inner room.The strong and bitter medicinal fragrance enveloped the narrow and cold hut, a skinny woman curled up on the bed, moaning from time to time.

"Mom," Jeremy called.The woman turned around with difficulty, blinking her eyes twice dully.She saw me clearly behind Jeremy, the skinny body that was lying on the bed suddenly bounced up, stared at a pair of narrow pupil eyes, and walked towards me tremblingly.

"Luo?" She opened her mouth stiffly, grabbing my arm with rough and dry fingers, "Oh... is it really Luo? My child, I haven't seen you for so many years... Are you really back?"

I said reluctantly, "It's me."

Jeremy laughed and said, "It's true, Mom. He's my brother, and he's back!"

My adoptive mother was still pulling me, her eyes swept over my face, and she said cautiously and expectantly, "Then... child, are you still following that rich old man?"

"..." This question made me feel stuck in my throat, and the light shining in my adoptive mother's cloudy pupils was like a knife cutting through my skin.I felt a sense of vomiting in my stomach, and I stepped back, "No... too many things happened in Wanjiang Empire, you understand, I..."

"Oh, yes, yes. Look at my memory." She withdrew her hand, curled up on the bed, stared at me again after a while and said, "Then you must have saved some money, I remember that Master likes you very much..."

Jeremy quickly interrupted her, "Mom, brother is very tired, I'll take him to rest first."

My mother stared at me in a daze and said, "Oh, yes... take Luo to rest, Jeremy..."

Finally came out of that oppressive room.I lowered my head, Jeremy looked at me carefully, and said to me, "Brother, that's not what mom meant... Uh, she's been in poor health recently, you can tell..."

"There's no need to explain, Jeremy." I thought for a while and said in a deep voice, "Also, I don't know any rich masters now."

"Oh." Jeremy said.I didn't tell him that I was dead. On the way to Wangcheng, I jumped off the carriage and was stabbed to death by the guard's cold sword.I am an undead, an undead who has nothing but allegiance to my master.

I twisted my hands, felt the slight tremor of my fingertips through the thin gloves, and took a deep breath.After a while of silence, Jeremy finally found a topic and said to me, "Brother, I'll take you to meet someone."

"……Who?"

"Feline." He raised his eyebrows, with a complacent expression on his face, "You must really want to see her."

During the conversation, we have come to a secluded small courtyard. There is a simple wooden fence around the courtyard, and unmelted dry snow is condensed on it.

A slender woman stood by the window, her sleeves rolled up, fetching a bucket of water from the well.Different from most women's clothes, she was wearing a pair of loose black trousers that men would only wear when they were working. The trousers were tucked into a pair of short boots, and she only wore a short cape over the cotton shirt. Her neatly trimmed short black hair set off her Cheeks are as white as snow.

Jeremy yelled, "Feline, look who I brought here!"

The figure in the courtyard paused, then turned his head with the wooden bucket, and met my eyes amidst the clear impact of the water.

The quiet pool hidden in the depths of the pupils seems to have stirred up waves in an instant, and a bright glimmer of light has passed through.She recognized me, but it took me a while to realize that the woman in front of me was her.

"Ro?"

she murmured.Jeremy left quietly, and I stood there blankly looking at Feline, my lips were moving, and I muttered a few hoarse syllables in my throat.She walked towards me, her black clothes and trousers seemed to melt into the sticky darkness, only the bright color on her cheeks was dazzlingly white under the dim stars.

I felt an unbreakable heat accumulated in my empty eye sockets, but my lips could only clumsily spit out a name, "Feline."

Feline, I'm Luo.

****

Feilin and I sat side by side on the eaves, watching the brightly lit urban area not far away, fell into an awkward silence, and felt speechless for a while.The gap between time and life and death lay between us. No matter how much I miss her, the inexplicable sense of alienation is still difficult to dispel in a moment.

The night wind seemed to carry the smell of ice and snow far away from Vulture City, I said, "The roof is too cold, Feilin, you will freeze."

She smiled at me, "No. You know I'm not afraid of the cold." Looking at the dark night, she breathed out with interlocking fingers, "Thank God, you're back..."

I'm afraid she will ask "Where have you been all these years".I don't want to tell her the truth about how I left the village, and I don't want to tell her that I came back from the dead.For her, my leaving without saying goodbye was a kind of betrayal, just like the two children who ran away together in "Dream of the Wilderness", I had made a promise with Feline that we would never be separated for the rest of our lives.But I crossed the River Styx when I was seven, and left her alone on the other side of the river.

Fortunately, she didn't ask that question, and only said to me in a relaxed tone, "Maybe you don't know that after eleven o'clock tonight, there will be a grand ceremony."

My heart trembled, "...the ceremony?"

She said, "Does it sound familiar? When we were young, we also saw many 'ceremonies' in the village, burning unclean women and criminals who stole to death, as if no matter how filthy the soul is, there is no need for repentance, no need Enlightenment, you can burn it up simply and conveniently with only one fire."

Those horrible and empty memories flashed in my mind, and I whispered, "Feline, that's all in the past."

"That's right... the Wanjiang Empire has perished. In the eyes of the new emperor, this small vulture city is just a piece of biscuit crumbs on the map." She said in a deep voice, "I wandered here with people, no one knows I am a 'murderer's daughter'. The more killings I have seen, the more numb people are to blood. There are so many crimes in this city, and there is no longer the possibility of being burned to death at any time, which makes me think A lot of peace of mind."

I don't know how to answer her.But she smiled and looked at me, "What about you, Luo? Are you at ease now?"

"I……"

Lemon's face appeared in my mind again, revealing that sneer that made me confused and scared.Only by his side can I feel at ease. Half of his soul is sealed in my lifeless body, rushing and clamoring eagerly, wanting to get close to and integrate with the other half of his soul in that living body.

Seeing my embarrassment, Feline didn't get to the bottom of it, and changed the subject briskly, "Look, it's begun—the parade to disperse the undead, a major ceremony for the people of the Old Country of Vulture City."

****

The suffocation of being wrapped by the ghosts of the dead hit me again, and countless hands tore me, screaming to press me into the boiling water.People on the street held torches and wore bright white clothes, singing solemn hymns in unison.The flames formed a twisted bright line in the gloomy city.Every melody is like a hot whip whipping at me. They linger in my ears and drill into my nerves, slashing back and forth like sharp sawtooths.

Feilin didn't notice my strangeness, and continued, "Do you know why the people of Wanjiang Empire hate undead so much? Because of killing. It is said that a sorcerer in the old country summoned an undead, but failed to control it. The bloodthirsty undead not only failed to assist the army to win, but slaughtered many innocent people, allowing Eliot to take the capital without any effort... Their remains were hung on the cold wall of the Human Bat Great Wall, and the undead And then spend the whole night crying and howling above the Vulture City."

"..."

Seeing my twitching body, Feline said in surprise, "What's wrong with you, Luo?!" She held my cheeks, her fingers trembling from the biting cold, and tried to calm down, "What happened? thing, Rob? Tell me..."

The marching team in the city was like a continuous long dragon, and the golden fire was more dazzling than the early morning light, almost turning Vulture City into daylight.

The higher the melody of the hymn was, the more pale and cold my face became.Feilin stared at me, her pitch-black pupils trembled a few times, and suddenly shrank into a line as if realizing something!

She said in disbelief, "Luo... you... don't you..."

"No... don't say it... Feilin..." I twitched the corners of my mouth with a miserable smile, clenched my dark robe tightly, and couldn't even utter a complete sentence due to my headache.Those ghosts were grabbing my hair, biting and kicking, and I felt like I was reaching my limit.

"God..." she murmured tremblingly, turning around and hugging me.I held her arm tightly and said palely, "Don't tell Jeremy they..."

"I won't tell anyone."

She hugged me tightly, resting her chin on the top of my head, closing her eyes and whispering comforting words.

My convulsed body gradually relaxed and calmed under her warm body temperature, and just as I was so ashamed of my loss of control just now, two tears fell silently from the top of my head and penetrated into my neck, leaving a trail of coldness .

"It's okay, Feline." Touching her tears, all I could say was, "I'm back."

The author has something to say: the exam is over—recovery day update~